Cover Snark (175): Always Room for Snark

Welcome to Cover Snark, where the people are snarky and the covers quiver in fear. Since I don’t write many snarky book reviews here on A Reader of Fictions, Cover Snark is my outlet. If you click on the title of the book, where possible, I’ve linked to Goodreads. Clicking on the cover itself will show you the cover in a larger size, in most cases. Feel free to love covers I hate and vice versa. Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

Please note that you should by no means contact the author if you do not like their cover; they likely have ZERO control. Feel free to express opinions in the comments, but please do not @ an author on Twitter because of anything you’ve seen here. Let’s keep it kind.

Shiny and New:

1. Into White – Randi Pink
Into White - Randi Pink
Thoughts: LOVE the way they did this. The fact that the two heads are sharing a shirt is super cool. And the art is gorgeous.

2. On Through the Never (The Edge of Forever #2) – Melissa E. Hurst
On Through the Never - Melissa E. Hurst
Thoughts: As with the first in the series, the idea of the cover works way better than the actual execution.

3. Dreambender – Ronald Kidd
Dream Bender - Ronald Kidd
Thoughts: Clearly he’s using his powers to bring all of the moon’s light to his little patch of forest.

4. The Lost Cipher – Michael Oechsle
The Lost Cipher - Michael Oechsle
Thoughts: THE KID STARING AT THE BIG CAT THO.

5. Princess Juniper of the Anju (Princess Juniper #2) – Ammi-Joan Paquette
Princess Juniper of the Anju - Ammi-Joan Paquette
Thoughts: Serious Penelope vibes.

6. Into the Abyss (Falls the Shadow #2) – Stefanie Gaither
Into the Abyss - Stefanie Gaither
Thoughts: With all the grace of Alice falling to Wonderland.

7. Cruel Intentions – Scarlett York
Cruel Intentions - Scarlett York
Thoughts: You are setting a high bar for ridiculous sexy drama here, title.

8. Girl Last Seen – Heather Anastasiu & Anne Greenwood Brown
Girl Last Seen - Heather Anastasiu & Anne Greenwood Brown
Thoughts: Her fashion icon is obviously Lizzie Bennet.

9. The Boy Who Killed Grant Parker – Kat Spears
The Boy Who Killed Grant Parker - Kat Spears
Thoughts: Not sure what I’m supposed to be getting from this. Are the yellow lines indicative of sunshine? Of the hate of humanity for killing Grant Parker? Or is this Grant Parker’s body’s detailed chalk outline?

10. Morrighan (The Remnant Chronicles #0.5) – Mary E. Pearson
Morrighan - Mary E. Pearson
Thoughts: “Hmmm, what should we do for the novella cover?” “I don’t know, man. I’m busy.” “Me too. We could just slap the title font onto something.” “How about some greenery?” “EVERYONE WILL BE GREEN WITH ENVY AT OUR TALENTS. LET’S DO IT.”

11. Smart is the New Cool (Project Mc2 #1) – Jade Hemsworth
Smart is the New Cool (Project Mc2 #2) - Jade Hemsworth
Thoughts: Is this how the youths are dressing these days?

12. Overdrive – Dawn Ius
Overdrive - Dawn Ius
Thoughts: This blur makes me feel like I’m drunk and driving around Vegas. Is this the intended affect?

13. Life Debt (Star Wars: Aftermath #2) – Chuck Wendig
Life Debt (Star Wars Aftermath) – Chuck Wendig
Thoughts: A rey of cover sunshine.

14. All the Missing Girls – Megan Miranda
All the Missing Girls – Megan Miranda
Thoughts: God, I told you guys they were all on the ferris wheel but you just didn’t listen.

15. Snack – Emme Burton
Snack - Emme Burton
Thoughts: Oh my god, can you imagine how much it hurts having someone almost stand on point on your big toes? Also, because of the title, I assume she’s actually feasting on his face.

16. Pucked Over (Pucked #3) – Helena Hunting
Pucked Over - Helena Hunting
Thoughts: Puck it, I’m laughing.

17. Always Room for Cupcakes – Bethany Lopez
Always Room for Cupcakes - Bethany Lopez
Thoughts: I like the way you think.

18. The Weight of Zero – Karen Fortunati
The Weight of Zero - Karen Fortunati
Thoughts: Uhhhhhhh.

19. Lucy and Linh – Alice Pung
Lucy and Linh - Alice Pung
Thoughts: There’s an Asian heroine and the cover has a headless female figure. *growls*

20. Speed of Life – J.M. Kelly
Speed of Life - J.M. Kelly
Thoughts: Based on the cover, I’m guessing twins on a road trip with a baby. But…why are they a three-headed no-neck monster?

21. Scrooge #worstgiftever – Charles Dickens & Brett Wright
Scrooge #worstgiftever - Charles Dickens & Brett Wright
Thoughts: Once again, it’s shocking to me how much trouble I have parsing this. I am so old, guys.

22. Darcy Swipes Left – Jane Austen & Courtney Carbone
Darcy Swipes Left - Jane Austen & Courtney Carbone
Thoughts: *swipes right*

23. Leave Me – Gayle Forman
Leave Me - Gayle Forman
Thoughts: The strike-out affect on both title and author is an interesting choice.

24. A Darkly Beating Heart – Lindsay Smith
A Darkly Beating Heart - Lindsay Smith
Thoughts: Yesssss, especially to the blood spatter.

25. The Moth and the Flame (The Wrath and the Dawn #0.25) – Renee Ahdieh
The Moth and the Flame (The Wrath and the Dawn #0.25) - Renee Ahdieh
Thoughts: Shazi is the new black.

26. The Crown and the Arrow (The Wrath and the Dawn #0.5) – Renee Ahdieh
The Crown and the Arrow (The Wrath and the Dawn #0.5) -Renee Ahdieh
Thoughts: They didn’t really break their backs making these match, did they?

27. Girls in the Moon – Janet McNally
Girls in the Moon - Janet McNally
Thoughts: Girls in a microphone.

28. Unraveled (Elemental Assassin #15) – Jennifer Estep
Unraveled (Elemental Assassin #15) - Jennifer Estep
Thoughts: Jennifer Love Hewitt???

29. Illusion (Heirs of Watson Island #3) – Martina Boone
Illusion (Heirs of Watson Island #3) - Martina Boone
Thoughts: They look like a happy couple on the cover, but that’s all an illusion.

30. Kids of Appetite – David Arnold
Kids of Appetite - David Arnold
Thoughts: Tagline made me lol. Well done.

31. Frost – M.P. Kozlowsky
Frost - M.P. Kozlowsky
Thoughts: Cinder trying to give Jacin back his flower?

32. Nevernight (The Nevernight Chronicles #1) – Jay Kristoff
Nevernight (The Nevernight Chronicles #1) - Jay Kristoff
Thoughts: JAYSUS THIS IS BEAUTIFUL AND CREEPTASTIC. Shout out to Meg’s fonting brilliance! And obvs Jason Chan’s art is always ridiculously perfect.

33. Stealing Snow (Stealing Snow #1) – Danielle Paige
Stealing Snow - Danielle Paige
Thoughts: So it’s a shitty version of the Cold Spell cover?

34. Bright Smoke, Cold Fire (Untitled #1) – Rosamund Hodge
Bright Smoke, Cold Fire - Rosamund Hodge
Thoughts: Hodge cover trademark = girl in a red dress. Not really liking the title font with the background, but I love the image.

35. Furthermore – Tahereh Mafi
Furthermore - Tahereh Mafi
Thoughts: This is technicolor busy-ness. My eyes don’t know where to look.

36. The Lovely Reckless – Kami Garcia
The Lovely Reckless - Kami Garcia
Thoughts: Even though they’re illustrated, that girl still has the scary blank stare of paranormal covers. But damn is that one hot illustrated dude. I mean.

37. Flicker and Mist – Mary G. Thompson
Flicker and Mist - Mary G. Thompson
Thoughts: That tagline is hurting my head.

38. Everyone We’ve Been – Sarah Everett
Everyone We've Been - Sarah Everett
Thoughts: Eternal Sunshine of the Fabulous Hair.

39. Been Here All Along – Sandy Hall
Been Here All Along - Sandy Hall
Thoughts: Neighbor boys falling in love? Here for it.

40. A Thousand Boy Kisses – Tillie Cole
A Thousand Boy Kisses - Tillie Cole
Thoughts: If this doesn’t mean boys kissing other boys, I’m going to be very disappointed.

41. Ghosts in the Machine (The Babel Trilogy #2) – Richard Farr
Ghosts in the Machine (The Babel Trilogy #2) - Richard Farr
Thoughts: Who you gonna call?

Cover Battles:

1. Golden Boys – Sonya Hartnett

Golden Boys - Sonya Hartnett aus
Golden Boys - Sonya Hartnett

Australian vs. US: There is a VERY similarly titled book with bicycles on the cover and it’s got a yellowy background. REALLY?

2. Red Ink – Julie Mayhew

Red Ink - Julie Mayhew uk
Red Ink - Julie Mayhew

UK vs. US: I wonder if they drew the whole thing without lifting the pen from the paper. That would be cool.

3. The Lost and the Found – Cat Clarke

The Lost and the Found - Cat Clarke uk
The Lost and the Found - Cat Clarke

UK vs. US: I like the juxtaposition of her as a trusting kid and a found teen. Way more creative than just slapping some police tape on it.

4. Girl on a Plane – Miriam Moss

Girl on a Plane - Miriam Moss uk
Girl on a Plane - Miriam Moss

UK vs. US: I am experiencing turbulent indecision.

5. Illusionarium – Heather Dixon

Illusionarium - Heather Dixon
Illusionarium - Heather Dixon

US Hardback vs. US Audiobook: That is super cool. Def prefer the audio, which is weird because they often get really terrible covers.

6. Level Up – Gene Luen Yang

Level Up - Gene Luen Yang original
Level Up - Gene Luen Yang

US Original vs. US Redesign: The original cover did rather date itself, didn’t it?

7. More Happy Than Not – Adam Silvera

More Happy Than Not - Adam Silvera
More Happy Than Not - Adam Silvera

US Hardback vs. US Paperback: More paint-splattered than not.

8. The Wrath and the Dawn (The Wrath and the Dawn #1) – Renee Ahdieh

The Wrath & the Dawn (The Wrath and the Dawn #1) - Renee Ahdieh
The Wrath and the Dawn (The Wrath and the Dawn #1) - Renee Ahdieh

US Hardback vs. US Paperback: I like the hardcover, but lbr more Shazi cannot ever be a bad thing.

9. The Map of Bones (The Fire Sermon #2) – Francesca Haig

The Map of Bones (The Fire Sermon #2) - Francesca Haig
Das Feuerzeichen - Rebellion von Francesca Haig
The Map of Bones – Francesca Haig

US vs. German vs. UK: Sorry bird and fakely-burning Greek letter, the UK has it.

WTF of the Week:

WTF of the Week began as a special category for one cover I saw, but was so popular it became a recurring feature. Here, I highlight covers, both new and old, that I’ve found, which, upon viewing, made me either snort or say something along the lines of “Dear God, what is that thing?”

1. Punk Rock-a-Bye Baby (Radical Rock Stars #5) – Jenna Galicki
Punk Rock-a-Bye Baby (Radical Rock Stars #5) - Jenna Galicki
Thoughts: The internet is full of such treasures.

2. Everyday MOMents: Discovering Christ in the Details of Motherhood – Jessica Poe
Everyday MOMents - Jessica Poe
Thoughts: Naked family snuggle time is how you discover Christ. TIME FOR THE BRAIN BLEACH.

3. Max – Sarah Cohen-Scali
Max - Sarah Cohen-Scali
Thoughts: I am so fucking not okay with this cover.

7 responses to “Cover Snark (175): Always Room for Snark”

  1. Hannah says:

    I’ve missed Cover Snark!

    -the font on the Rosamund Hodge cover = dislike
    -the feet on the Snack cover look like they’re two different skin colours because of the shadow, I had to do a double take
    -Sandy Hall cover = simple, but lovely. Also, I’m here for the gay neighbour boys love story!
    -the last cover = WTF of the YEAR!
    Hannah recently posted…Review: The Shadow Queen – C.J. RedwineMy Profile

    • Christina Franke says:

      I think I’d like that Hodge font a lot on the right book, but it definitely does not work here.

      Very curious about the Sandy Hall! Want it just for the cover. :-p

  2. Savannah says:

    Thanks a lot, #14 made me do a very-real spit take over my laptop! Definitely missed Cover Snark <3

  3. 1. I love this cover too! From what I’ve read of the synopsis it seems to fit really well.
    4. Hahah you always notice the best details.
    5. Ooh I love this cover! Which reminds me I never finished the first book… whoops. It was cute though.
    10. Yeah it’s pretty but also lazy. And it makes me think of Ireland, between the clovers and the name.
    11. Maybe on Disney Channel and Nick…. where they still don’t actually dress like that IRL. Ugh. Haha.
    19. Laaaaaaame. Grr.
    32. It’s so creepy!!! Ahh! Love that Meg did the font 😀
    33. Very underwhelming.
    34. I wanted to love this more than I do. I think it’s the font. Too blocky.
    36. I actually really like this, I’m surprised! Hot illustrated guys are always a win.
    39. Yesssss so cute, reminds me of the T Swift video for You Belong With Me. I can’t wait for this!

    • Christina Franke says:

      1. Agree that the cover seems to fit the synopsis perfectly. I’m still scared of how many ways that premise could go wrong, but I’ll be watching reviews.

      4. Still not over that chubby kid’s face.

      5. I’d never heard of the series, but I really love the swinging and the dress and her shoe game and the fairy lights.

      11. :-p They are some outfits.

      19. Why must they keep doing this?

      32. Super creepy. Every time I look at it, my first thought is DEAR GOD NO, but then I stop and appreciate how everything is perfection. I love Meg’s font obvs, but I also really love the stripey pants, which is a random detail but still.

      33. I’d say it’s under underwhelming, but considering that she supported KH, I hope they don’t fix the horrible cover.

      34. The font just really doesn’t fit with the mood of the cover for me, though I can’t necessarily explain why.

      36. It’s not my favorite personally, but I do appreciate the art. It just doesn’t look like it would be a book I’d enjoy, even if the cover’s pretty, which sort of turns me off to the cover in turn, if that makes any sense.

      39. Not sure if I’ve actually seen that. My knowledge of pre-1989 T Swift is basically non-existent.

      • 5. I picked it up on a whim at ALA last year, I hadn’t heard of it either.
        33. Hahaha touche.
        39. Oh it’s so cute! She’s a nerdy girl in love with her neighbor/friend and they communicate through their windows that face each other (like every good YA book/teen movie haha).

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