Ship of Betrayal

For me, there’s no bookish (or showish betrayal or movieish betrayal) like my ship not being THE winning ship. Or when, by the time my ship actually finds their HEA, I now unship them. Or it’s just not fucking satisfying because you’ve been waiting oh so patiently FRUSTRATEDLY AND FLAILINGG for this ship to get together and then BOOM it’s over HOW COULD YOU WRITER(S)? HOW FUCKING DARE YOU?

gif i'll kill you office

These ships will not carry your body safe to shore.

Very occasionally, Hollywood’s love of reboots let’s these tragedies get fixed. See: Veronica Mars and, HOPEFULLY, Gilmore Girls (TEAM JESS FOR ALL OF TIME. HATERS TO THE LEFT.)

gif veronica mars movie logan
We are VINDICATED

But there are plenty of tragedies still out there. Here are some of my top ships of betrayal in a totally random order. Obviously, there will be spoilers for the outcome of ships for everything included.

1. Joe x Laurie Little Women

gif jo laurie little women

Confession: I haven’t read the book. Another confession: I don’t have a fucking clue what the professor’s name is, and I am too lazy to google because I do not give a fuck. I completely reject canon. Jo and Laurie forever. In my head, they have a Lizzy and Darcy arc where they weren’t ready yet when he proposed, but that, when they get a bit older, they WILL be ready and he will not fucking touch Amy ever or want to. Nope nope nope. Even as a little kid, I was always completely thrown by Joe randomly marrying some old dude at the end. Refuse.

2. Rachel x Joey Friends

gif rachel joey friends

I’m a sort of rare Friends-lover in that I don’t want to just toss Ross into the fires of Mount Doom. Sure, he does a lot of terrible stuff, but I still kind of like him, at the rare times when he’s not in a relationship. I was actually on board Ross/Rachel during their initial iteration. They’re cute and sweet. However, “WE WERE ON A BREAK” is the end of it for me. They’re done, and I don’t believe they’ll ever get over that. They’ll end up getting divorced (AGAIN), and that will be at least part of the reason. There are some things you never truly forgive, and I don’t see Rachel forgiving that. I wish Rachel/Joey had been given more of a shot, instead of immediately canceled so he could have a solo spinoff that failed.

3. Dan x Blair Gossip Girl

gif dan blair gossip girl

Listen, I was totally on board the good unhealthy ship Chair for a long time, but, you know, sometimes things happen that cannot be overcome and you know what basically refer to my comments above about Ross and Rachel. Dan and Blair have such a great arc where they come to see each other past the stereotypes and past hurt; they struggle to admit their feelings for one another because they so did not want them, but they are PERFECT together. In my head, they’ll grow old watching classic films and critiquing others happily.

4. Jim x Maggie The Newsroom

gif sorry about your loss newsroom

Debby can vouch for my pain on this one; I’m pretty sure she’s the one that got me to watch this show. I was SO into Jim and Maggie the first time I watched The Newsroom, despite the fact that Maggie was cheating on her boyfriend, Don. I didn’t care because he was a shitty boyfriend, but honestly I should have known better. However, the ship is dragged on and on, finally getting together when I absolutely loathe the ship. I mourn for the Jim and Maggie that could have been if Maggie had just chosen him at the crucial point in season one, but OH NO it had to be drawn out for maximum drama. I wouldn’t be so mad if Sorkin hadn’t done something very similar in Sports Night too. Don’t make me unship my ship and then make the ship sail; it’s rude.

5. Haruhi x Hikaru or Kyoya or Mori or Kaoru Ouran High School Host Club

gif haruhi hikaru ouran

gif haruhi kyoya ouran

gif haruhi mori ouran

kaoru likes haruhi ouran

Literally, I am not picky here. My standards were SO low. I shipped Haruhi STRONGLY with four of the six main male characters, in the order listed. I would have been happy with any of those ships sailing. I strongly unshipped her with Tamaki, who thought he had father feelings for her for much the series and is a motherfucking idiot, and of course that’s who she chooses, completely ignoring the fact that she found him annoying in a non-shippy way for basically the whole thing. Bisco Hatori wanted her to end up with Tamaki, so she was going to, whether it made any damn emotional sense or not.

6. Alina x The Darkling or Singledom The Grisha Trilogy

darkling alina fan art
Bless littleschemerart on tumblr for this

I am completely torn on how I wanted Ruin & Rising to end. Either I wanted Alina to go the healthy route and end up alone OR I wanted her to go the unhealthy route and join The Darkling as an evil tyrant dominating the world and having hot fucking sex. Either of those endings would have been amazeballs. Instead, she diminishes and goes with boring, inconsistent Mal, who gets exactly what he always wanted: an Alina weaker than him and WHO SHOULD BE FUCKING DEAD ANYWAY.

7. Christian x Tara Dance Academy

gif christian tara dance academy

THE PAIN IS SO FRESH HERE. In late January/early February, I binged Dance Academy. It was my only life outside of working long days. It was a shippy oasis in the storm. And then. OH THEN. The massive betrayal that I feel. The ship doesn’t not sail, but they’re NOT TOGETHER WHEN IT ENDS. Oh, and Tara’s also injured and has to learn to dance again. So yeah, they’ll get together again but WHY CAN YOU NOT GIVE ME THAT? I DESERVE IT. Supposedly there’s going to be a film? IF IT DOESN’T GIVE ME WHAT I NEED I WILL BURN THIS PLACE DOWN.

8. Hachi x Nobu Nana

gif one day i'll be better nana

*sobs* I binged all of the Nana anime in two days while I was home sick. I did nothing but lie on the couch absorbing the drama. I hoppes on ship Nobu and Hachi, and the story ends in a HORRIBLE INCREDIBLY PAINFUL PLACE. I can’t even be mad at the author, because she never finished due to health reasons. But I am rooting so hard for her to get better enough that she can give these guys a happy ending because dear fucking lord is that the worst place for things to stop. I’ve heard the manga goes a bit further but honestly I’m scared to read it without a resolution.

9. Eun-Bi x Gang-Hyuk Flower Boy Ramyun Shop

flower boy ramyun shop towel

Of the ones on this list, this is the doomed ship that hurts me the least, BUT I had to include a second love interest kdrama on here, because collectively they have caused me so much pain already and will cause infinitely more. In Flower Boy Ramyun Shop, Eun-Bi chooses a whiny brat over a tall, incredibly sexy guy who is also massively nice, and I just will never be able to accept that outcome.

10. Buffy x Spike Buffy, the Vampire Slayer

you're the one buffy

This ship is legendary. It waits on the backburner for a long time, and then bursts into hot, hot fire. I am so very into it, especially that long period where Spike’s into Buffy and desperately trying not to be. SHIP. There’s so much terrible stuff done to this ship, including the fact that they only get together because she came back different which SOB. Also, there’s that episode that I won’t even think about and then the ending which I guess had to be but I also no I do not want.

11. Chloe x Alek The Nine Lives of Chloe King

gif alek chloe king

Okay, I know this show wasn’t like the best thing ever or whatever. I mean, the story is basically every paranormal story, and it wasn’t on for long. But I was SO FUCKING INVESTED in Chloe and Alek, partly because Alek is so incredibly hot and I just want to watch his face for all of time. It’s basically TVD, only instead of being stuck on Delena for seasons and seasons Chloe and Alek are the frustrated ship that keeps me up at night sometimes. I may have to read the books, which I’m pretty sure will suck, just to see what happens to the ship.

12. Sookie x Eric True Blood

gif eric sookie true blood

Another paranormal show that I really probably should not have cared so much about but, as Gillian said about herself, I am total ship trash. At no point was I into Bill and Sookie, even though their couple name could be Bookie, though it wouldn’t be because they’re total idiots. As soon as Eric got that haircut, I became MASSIVELY into both him and Eric and Sookie as a thing. The fact that the show and the books had different endings and he was the ship endgame in neither INFURIATES me.

13. Zuko x Katara Avatar: The Last Airbender

avatar zutara fanart
Thank happyzuko on DeviantArt for this

Perhaps the most massive betrayal on this list? It’s a tough call, really, because Jo and Laurie pain goes back to childhood. However, the writers fucking forced Aangtara at the last moment, and it made no sense. He’s a tiny bald child who’s had a pathetic puppy love crush on her for ages; she knew and was never remotely interested, and, without any development, suddenly she’s returning his affection? Fucking NO. Zuko also gets shoved into a random relationship, like the writers think they can fool us by being like “look, see, they both like other people; no ship here.” Fuck that. Zutara is what hate-to-love dreams are made of.


 

The good news is that this seems to happen WAY more for manga and television shows than books. *snuggles books* Or I forgot some books because I blocked out the trauma.

Edit at the suggestion of SKI KRU on Twitter: ALSO, if you have beloved fan fic for any of these ships where stuff does not go wrong, PLEASE SHARE.

Do you share any of my tragic, doomed ships? Have some of your own to add?

14 responses to “Ship of Betrayal”

  1. Bekka says:

    My ultimate True Blood OTP is Eric and his Hair Cut.

    Also LOVE Rachel and Joey together and have for a Long Time. That new year’s eve kiss! The fact that they’re the hottest actors on the show! She’s high strung and kinda crazy and he’s as laid back as is possible. I love they so much and they deserved better. And Rachel will always deserve better than WE WERE ON A BREAK.
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    • Christina Franke says:

      That IS the best True Blood OTP, you’re right. I didn’t find him remotely attractive and then he had that haircut, and I think I may have actually had my mouth hanging open with drool coming out. Not the only time that’s happened to me in a show, but it’s so weird every time.

      Rachel and Joey had SO MUCH PROMISE, but the writers obviously never took it seriously. It really could have lightened her up and helped him focus. They’d have fun and a lot of great sex. And I think their fights would tend to be small, silly ones, not the constant drama-fests of Ross and Rachel.

  2. Meg says:

    i had things i wanted to say but then there’s the you’re a hell of a woman speech right there ready to take out the unsuspecting and i need to go lock myself in the office bathroom to cry
    Meg recently posted…Buzz Worthy News: February 22, 2016My Profile

  3. Angie says:

    This post deserves all the gold stars.

    I’ll never be over Jo & Laurie. Little twelve year old Angie had never felt such betrayal in all her life as when Jo rejected him and then he married FREAKING AMY OF ALL THE PEOPLE WHY LAURIE WHY?

    I refuse to believe that Joey didn’t move back to NY and marry Rachel after her and Ross divorce R E F U S E

    Alina becoming an evil tyrant with the Darkling was all I ever wanted from that series. I could have even handled her being single or even marrying Nikolai but so forever bitter about her marrying Mal and losing her power.

    Spike and Buffy were my SHIP during my teenage years & I will never recover from it. That quote still causes me immense emotional trauma.

    I gave up on both the True Blood show & books but seriously FUCK EVERYTHING That Eric & Sookie weren’t endgame because no other ship was even close to valid.

    HOW DARE YOU WITH ZUKO AND KATARA I WAS NOT PREPARED FOR THIS EVERYTHING HURTS FOREVER BITTER AT THE A:TLA WRITER. FOREVER. BITTER.

    Will also add Brooke & Lucas from One Tree Hill, Hyde & Jackie from That 70’s Show, Tony & Ziva from NCIS & Kel + Neal from the Protector of the Small series to my list. SO MUCH BETRAYAL OF MY HEART.
    Angie recently posted…Disquoteus: Tiger Lily by Jodi Lynn AndresonMy Profile

    • Christina Franke says:

      *covers self in gold stars*

      I look fabulous now.

      HOW COULD YOU MARRY AMY?? I blame the mustache. Pretty sure it was an alien taking over his brain.

      Your headcanon totally accepted. I don’t think Joey would have left NY anyway, but def he and Rachel should give it another try once she and Ross inevitably break up again, which probably won’t take long anyway tbh.

      SO FUCKING BITTER ABOUT MAL. He does so many shit things throughout the series. What really gets me more than anything else though is that I’m convinced that he hates her powers; he doesn’t like when she’s more powerful than he is. It’s one of my least favorite tropes for the guy to HAVE to be stronger, and this played with it in a bad way. Mal loved her in SPITE of her light, which is not really loving HER if it’s part of her to my way of thinking. UGH. As you can tell, I am totally over it. I’d have settled for Nikolai too, though neither of their hearts or loins was into that idea.

      SPUFFFFFFFY

      I gave up on True Blood in the last season. I got behind, read recaps, and, for once, decided to not persist out of stubbornness.

      DON’T BLAME ME. BLAME THE WRITERS. ZUTARA HAPPENED. IN MY HEAD. BUT THAT IS CANON BECAUSE IT IS RIGHT. THE FUCKING ENDING OF THAT OTHERWISE NIGH PERFECT SHOW IS OOC AND I WANT TO BURN IT TO THE DAMN GROUND.

      TOTALLY considered putting Brooke and Lucas on! That’s my ship for Brooke, but she does deserve better than Lucas. I was split enough I left it off, but YES BROOKE AND LUCAS. I will always hate him for cheating on her.

      And dear dear Kel needs a ship. I can’t actually remember what my ship was in that series at this point, because I think I mostly blocked it out for lack of shippy resolution, but I know I had one and I know I was PISSED.

      I actually haven’t seen NCIS at all or enough That 70’s Show to have thoughts on those too, but, based on the rest of the list, I’m sure I’d be right there yelling with you.

  4. I am 100% on board with Alina x The Darkling. I think the utmost unhealthy, but definitely interesting, relationship between these two would have been amazing. I feel like they would have just fed and thrived on one another. (Have you ever seen Charmed? Very Cole / The Source and Evil Phoebe.)
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  5. Gillian says:

    OH SWEET JESUS I FEEL THIS POST ON A CELLULAR LEVEL

    oh god Jo and Laurie it’s been 150 years and the world is still not okay (ps you should read the book the betrayal in the book is just as life ruining though at least you dont have to see a sad young Christian Bale) (old professor useless is called Bhaer probably because no one can bare him) (lol I’m hilarious)

    I’m not into Joey/Rachel as you know but obvs feel your pain on how dreadfully that went

    I HONESTLY CAN’T TALK ABOUT DAN/BLAIR OR LOOK AT THAT GIF FOR TOO LONG WITHOUT GETTING MONSTROUSLY UPSET THEY WERE PERFECT AND THEY WOULD HAVE BEEN ENDGAME IF CHAIR FANS WEREN’T SUCH DICKS AND I HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS AND EVERYTHING IS TERRIBLE

    ugh @ Mal

    whoops you used a LoVe gif for Dance Academy not that i’m complaining bc I’ll never be over Logan looking at her like that

    Buffy and Spike jesus christ i was not ready

    ALEK AND CHLOE OH MY GOD I MISS THAT SHOW I SHIPPED THAT SHIP HE WAS SO PRETTY THEY WERE GREAT GDI ABC FAMILY WHY

    good think you never watched Jane by Design because jeeeesus the trauma

    mmmm Eric hiiiii (Sookeh Sookeh)

    ZUTARA THE ULTIMATE BETRAYAL UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
    Gillian recently posted…Let’s Catch Up: What I’ve Been Reading (Or More Accurately, Haven’t)My Profile

  6. Elizabeth says:

    OH MY GOD NANA!!!! I will never recover from this since its been what…a decade? I loved the art and the story and the characters (and most importantly Hachi+Nana forever!!) and having it hang there….

    Also yeah, don’t read the manga it will in no way make you feel better haha.

    And god I have such mixed feelings about Buffy+Spike – like it goes some pretty dark messed up places, but I have all the feeeeeeels! The pining. I’m such a sucker for the pining. Also, you know, James Marsters is a babe even as a bleach blonde.

    I think my biggest K-Drama one is You’re Beautiful. Have you seen it?

  7. Nori says:

    Wow. So we disagree on a lot of things, but our ships are so similar! OMG there is a Dance Academy movie coming? I shipped them from day one.

    I’m also unbelievably glad you feel the same way about Little Women. I was so traumatized by that. And kind grossed out. And still very much disappointed. I read the books. It does make more sense in the books than it did in the movie, but still…

    I loved Joey and Rachel! Also, I pretty much watched all of True Blood for Eric. And I shipped him with Sookie so hard.

    Same with Chloe and Alex. Don’t read the books. It’s one of my few DNF books. It’s really bad. I do wish the show lasted longer.

    I agree about Logan (duh) and I was team Spike too.

    The only one I differ from you on, really, is Gossip Girl. Mostly though, it’s because Dan grossed me out. I kind of hated him from day 1, which I guess is weird because he was the only kind of normal one on day 1. But, that’s how I feel.
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  8. YESSSSSS FOR DAN AND BLAIR, I was 100% Chair shipper until hmm let’s see he sold her and the other crazy shit that happened after, I actually never watched all of the last season because so much angry at the hot mess that was.

    ALSO YES FOR ALINA AND THE DARKLING, I only shipped Alina with him, I know he is a crazy tyrant etc. but I was hoping it could go kind of like with the Shatter Me series. It’s always best when the shippy couple is half villain.

    Yes for all the feelings of Skipe and Buffy, they are such a shippy couple but also there is that thing on that episode that should never ever had happened and them the ending and omg why so much pain.

    I kind of want to do my list now to relieve the pain of all the destroyed ships.

  9. Dianne says:

    DAIR *sighs* I just spent last night watching Dair cuts on Youtube and just, SO DISAPPOINTED AT GOSSIP GIRL, WILL NEVER FORGIVE IT.
    Dianne recently posted…Stacking the Shelves (56) + February RecapMy Profile

  10. *cries for Zutara* *forever*

    FELLOW TEAM JOEY MEMBER *high fives*

    Obviously I felt the siren call of The Newsroom and that brought me to this post. ^^; But WHATEVER Jim/Maggie, just YAY FOREVER Don/Sloane.
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