Review: Let the Sky Fall by Shannon Messenger

Review: Let the Sky Fall by Shannon MessengerLet the Sky Fall by Shannon Messenger
Published by Simon Pulse on March 5, 2013
Genres: Mythology, Paranormal, Romance
Pages: 404
Format: Hardcover
Source: Library
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half-star

Vane Weston should have died in the category-five tornado that killed his parents. Instead, he woke up in a pile of rubble with no memories of his past - except one: a beautiful, dark-haired girl standing in the winds. She swept through his dreams ever since, and he clings to the hope that she's real.

Audra is real, but she isn't human. She's a sylph, an air elemental who can walk on the wind, translate its alluring songs, even twist it into a weapon. She's also a guardian - Vane's guardian - and has sworn an oath to protect him at all costs.

When a hasty mistake reveals their location to the enemy who murdered both their families, Audra has just days to help Vane unlock his memories. And as the storm winds gather, Audra and Vane start to realize that the greatest danger might not be the warriors coming to destroy them, but the forbidden romance growing between them.

If it offends you that I read a book I was pretty much positive I wasn’t going to like, you can get to stepping right now. After reading Shannon Messenger’s elf books, I was curious what her YA series would be like. Right off the bat, it pissed me off, so I really wanted to finish so I could talk about why. It took me MONTHS to read this book, partly because I didn’t take it with me when I traveled, and partly because it’s just not good. I’ll be framing this review around actual quotes so that you know I’m not making this stuff up. Also, there will be spoilers (in case you don’t already know every damn thing that’s going to happen in this book), because you’re going to be reading along with me.

Let the Sky Fall is a paranormal romance with everything that stereotypically entails. Messenger does a dual POV with the two lovers, so you get to check out her male narration. It’s about Sophieflake Vane Weston, who is pulled from his ordinary life when a hot prepubescent elf boy hot, incredibly narrow-waisted sylph tells her him that he is also an elf sylph. Despite being new to the whole elf sylph thing, Vane has the most power of any elf sylph ever. He will become the Avatar speaker of all the wind languages and save the elves sylphs from the forces of evil.

Vane has been dreaming of Audra all of his life, despite the fact that his memories of his amnesia. He’s always been into this dream girl, so when she appears, skimpily clad, in his room, he’s ready to fall into instalove. On their first real meeting, she triggers his ability to manipulate the east wind by entering him in her wind form (not kidding). Then she leaves him and passes out on his floor.

Let the Sky Fall quote 1

Dude voice equals being very tempted to kiss the girl passed out on your floor. Sure. Why not? It’s like this is meant to show that he’s warm for his form, but I’d buy it more if the guy had to deal with awkward boners, you know? Audra, a tightly disciplined guardian, is for some reason she doesn’t even seem to be aware of wearing a teeny tiny dress during this scene. We are also informed that her waist is so small his two hands can span it. This actually is realistic though, as we will come to find out.

Let the Sky Fall quote 2

He ends up giving Audra half a bottle of water to help rouse her from her swoon. She gets pissed because she will be weakened for MONTHS. Turns out Audra doesn’t eat anything because it will make her strong. Basically, this whole thing reads like something that might be said by a girl proud of her anorexia. I get that Messenger was going for something cool and unique mythology-wise, but it sends a horrible message.

Let the Sky Fall quote 3

Seriously. Not making this stuff up. She’s so damn hungry she wants to eat an uncooked rabbit carcass or rotting fruit. THIS IS NOT OKAY.

Let the Sky Fall quote 4

Remember that amnesia I mentioned? Apparently if you get amnesia, you’re a terrible person who doesn’t care enough to remember something. Now, I do get that you might feel that way, but there’s no moment where he realizes he was wrong. If your mind erased something to spare you the pain of that thing, you’re a horrible, selfish jerk. Fuck off, Vane.

Let the Sky Fall quote 5

Just in case you thought only Audra was incredibly hot, no worries. Since he’s the last Westerly, he’s officially the most attractive sylph ever.

Let the Sky Fall quote 7

Apparently winds enjoy horrific poetry. Also, fyi, this book is just so much more fun if you swap “fart” for “wind” every time.

Let the Sky Fall quote 8

Fun twist: if a sylph kisses someone, they’re mated for life. I’m sure the teens will think their decisions through before getting stuck together for life. It’s a culture where you’re basically forced to wait until marriage. Healthy af, amirite?

Let the Sky Fall quote 10

Too. Many. Fucking. Fragments. Count the complete sentences here: ONE.

Let the Sky Fall quote 11

And you thought there wouldn’t be diversity in this book. Pshaw.

Let the Sky Fall quote 12

This whole book takes place over the course of like a week. They both are in love. Eternal, ever-lasting, storybook story love. Of course. *barfs a little*

Let the Sky Fall quote 16

Oh look, we’ve come full circle from that first quote. Audra’s nigh dead following the big battle, in which she got captured and her mom abandoned them, but Vane became the avatar and saved the day, of course. It’s not like women are useful at fighting. I mean, come on now. Of course, he’s once again tempted to kiss her prone form, despite the bonding thing. Good thing he’s old-fashioned and wants her to be awake for it. OLD-FUCKING-FASHIONED. I get that this is supposed to be a joke, because what’s funnier than women getting to consent, right?

Let the Sky Fall quote 17

This whole book takes place over less than like two weeks. Just so you know. This book is every paranormal cliche gone wrong.

I’m planning to read book two, because I make excellent life choices. I’m not sure if I’ll review it, considering that I got trolled on the other Messenger book I dared to not like, so we’ll see if I feel like it. FYI, the elf books are a million times better, though this one too occasionally has a crackish, is-this-for-real appeal. If you love this book, that’s great, and you should go find other fans to talk to because you’re not going to change my mind. Troll comments will be summarily deleted, because I’m nice and don’t want to start a shitstorm.

Tl;dr – Review in a GIFfy:

 gif pitch perfect barf

7 responses to “Review: Let the Sky Fall by Shannon Messenger”

  1. Oh my god, I can’t believe some of these quotes are real. I seriously want to throw up. So many wrong messages to teens. I can’t even.

    Props to you for being able to finish it. I don’t know that I would have been strong enough for that :’)
    Debby (Snuggly Oranges) recently posted…Book Review: The Fill-In Boyfriend by Kasie WestMy Profile

    • Christina Franke says:

      I know. Like, I barely had to review it because the quotes do the most damage. I still can’t get over how it feels like it’s pro-eating disorders.

      Finishing took ages. Sometimes it was really crackish, and sometimes I was bored out of my skull.

  2. Meg says:

    Pretty sure this is my fav review in a gif yet. Am 100% not reading this. Nope. No.
    Meg recently posted…Buzz Worthy News: Plagiarism Experiment June 22, 2015My Profile

    • Christina Franke says:

      I had it in my mind to use an Avatar gif, but then I just HAD to use that one. It called to me. Like they call to the winds with shitty poetry.

  3. Lol Seriously this book was extremely terrible. I was still on the fence whether or not to attempt her middle grade series but after noticing the similarities between the two and your hilarious reviews of them I think it’s safe to say I’m quite done with this author.
    Bonnie @ For the Love of Words recently posted…Something To Look Forward To – Week of June 22nd, 2015My Profile

    • Christina Franke says:

      The middle grades really are better, but I didn’t review the second and third ones in that series. The troll made me not really feel like giving any praise at any point. Good job, troll!

      Still, they’re not the best middle grades and you’re probably better off skipping. This thing is major dreckitude.

  4. Kaja says:

    I love this review. I often find that bad books fall into two categories: those that you just forget and those you NEED to rant about to get them out of your system. Reading reviews for the second kind is usually entertaining and yours made me laugh. 🙂
    This book sounds horrible, both in message and style.
    Kaja recently posted…Every Breath by Ellie MarneyMy Profile

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