Cover Snark (123): The One Where the Dog Knows Best

CoverSnarkChristina2

Welcome to Cover Snark, where the people are snarky and the covers quiver in fear. Since I don’t write many snarky book reviews here on A Reader of Fictions, Cover Snark is my outlet. If you click on the title of the book, where possible, I’ve linked to Goodreads. Clicking on the cover itself will show you the cover in a larger size, in most cases. Feel free to love covers I hate and vice versa. Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

Shiny and New:

1. The Last Leaves Falling – Sarah Benwell
The Last Leaves Falling - Sarah Benwell
Thoughts: Where did the yellow feathers come from?!?!

2. A Different Kind of Fine (Twelve Beats in a Bar #1.5) – K.K. Hendin
A Different Kind of Fine (Twelve Beats in a Bar #1.5) - K.K. Hendin
Thoughts: Ummm, pretty sure that I would not be fine if I were dressed like that and maybe this person is fine like fiiiiiiine but I can’t tell. What is this new definition, I wonder?

3. None of the Above – I.W. Gregorio
None of the Above - I.W. Gregorio
Thoughts: Kind of a boring cover, but at least it’s clear about the subject matter.

4. The Night We Said Yes – Lauren Gibaldi
The Night We Said Yes - Lauren Gibaldi
Thoughts: Does this sound like an orgy to anyone else or?

5. Rook – Sharon Cameron
Rook - Sharon Cameron
Thoughts: Paris is not looking so hot and a bird just exploded apparently.

6. Mind Games – Teri Terry
Mind Games - Teri Terry
Thoughts: Eye guess this is an acceptable variant on the annoying eye cover trend.

7. Backlash – Sarah Littman
Backlash - Sarah Littman
Thoughts: Points for the cute polka dot case.

8. Rival Hearts (Rival Love #2) – Natalie Decker
Rival Hearts - Natalie Decker
Thoughts: I like how this cover is informing us that Natalie Decker wrote this book. Bestselling author of this book you are looking at RIGHT NOW. IS YOUR MIND NOT BLOWN?

9. Endangered – Lamar Giles
Endangered - Lamar Giles
Thoughts: Props for the POC and the Bond reference, but this still somehow feels lacking.

10. After We Fell (The After Series #3) – Anna Todd
After We Fell (The After Series) - Anna Todd
Thoughts: After we fell, our bodies became the grass, and the antelope eat the grass. And so we are all connected in the great circle of life.

11. The Accidental Afterlife of Thomas Marsden – Emma Trevayne
The Accidental Afterlife of Thomas Marsden - Emma Trevayne
Thoughts: He was just trying to dig to China.

12. Written in the Sand – T.A. Foster & Mary-Kathryn Craft
Written in the Sand - T.A. Foster & Mary-Kathryn Craft
Thoughts: This image reminds me of Veronica Mars back in the pre-Lily’s-death days. But also I hate the term “love affair” quite a lot.

13. Crimson Bound – Rosamund Hodge
Crimson Bound - Rosamund Hodge
Thoughts: *swoons* This is even better than the Cruel Beauty cover. And I love the tagline, which subverts the trope of the protective dude. And she doesn’t want to have feels, which probably means I will.

14. The Death Code (The Murder Complex #2) – Lindsay Cummings
The Death Code (The Murder Complex #2) - Lindsay Cummings
Thoughts: Paintball’s gotten brutal.

15. Conspiracy of Blood and Smoke (Prisoner of Night and Fog #2) – Anne Blankman
Conspiracy of Blood and Smoke - Anne Blankman
Thoughts: Holy innocuous cover and title Batman! Conspiracy Queen of Shadow and Blood and Smoke and Bone.

16. Lamp Black, Wolf Grey – Paula Brackston
Lamp Black, Wolf Grey - Paula Brackston
Thoughts: Dress Blue.

17. The Fall – R. J. Pineiro
The Fall - R. J. Pineiro
Thoughts: Dude: “I wonder if the ground will be friends with me!”

18. Seeker – Arwen Elys Dayton
Seeker - Arwen Elys Dayton
Thoughts: Can we stop with the fantasy novel cover trend of just putting up a sword and a title and calling it a day?

19. In Her Head, In Her Eyes – Yukimi Ogawa
In Her Head, In Her Eyes - Yukimi Ogawa
Thoughts: WHAT IS IN HER HEAD AND EYES UNDER THAT THING? I AM TERRIFIED.

20. The Golden Specific (The Mapmakers Trilogy #2) – S. E. Grove
The Golden Specific (The Mapmakers Trilogy #2) - S. E. Grove
Thoughts: Specifically, I find that guy very creepy.

21. Omega City (Omega City #1) – Diana Peterfreund
Omega City - Diana Peterfreund
Thoughts: They’re getting into parkour young in this city.

22. The Creeping – Alexandra Sirowy
The Creeping - Alexandra Sirowy
Thoughts: No, no, girl. That’s not how you do the Creep. THIS is how you do the Creep.

23. Every Last Promise – Kristin Halbrook
Every Last Promise - Kristin Halbrook
Thoughts: *sideeyes tagline and cover most heartily*

24. Heat of the Moment (The Moment of Truth #1) – Lauren Barnholdt
Heat of the Moment (The Moment of Truth #1) - Lauren Barnholdt
Thoughts: I’m assuming there’s a guy down below her.

25. One Moment in Time (The Moment of Truth #2) – Lauren Barnholdt
One Moment in Time (The Moment of Truth #2) - Lauren Barnholdt
Thoughts: One Lens Flare in Time.

26. From This Moment (The Moment of Truth #3) – Lauren Barnholdt
From This Moment (The Moment of Truth #3) - Lauren Barnholdt
Thoughts: As soon as she finishes stretching, something marvelous will happen.

27. The Future Without Hope (The World Without End #3) – Nazarea Andrews
The Future Without Hope - Nazarea Andrews
Thoughts: Hope is gone. All that’s left is earrings.

28. Three and Out (Love and Sports #3) – Meghan Quinn
Three and Out (Love and Sports #3) - Meghan Quinn
Thoughts: SERIOUSLY HOW IS THIS NOT ABOUT GAY FOOTBALL PLAYERS?

29. The Stars of Summer (All Four Stars #2) – Tara Dairman
The Stars of Summer - Tara Dairman
Thoughts: Is that a lobster on a leash trying to get to a hot dug?

30. Things We Know By Heart – Jessi Kirby
Things We Know By Heart - Jessi Kirby
Thoughts: I ♥ed this up until the point when a word of the title was a symbol. However, I will always think that background where an anatomical heart transitions into an illustrated heart is genius.

31. Proof of Forever – Lexa Hillyer
Proof of Forever - Lexa Hillyer
Thoughts: This is like a slightly fancier version of the original Behind the Scenes cover, and there’s a reason that just got redesigned.

32. Vanished – E.E. Cooper
Vanished - E.E. Cooper
Thoughts: This looks just like The Pretenders, only more cut outs.

33. Made You Up – Francesca Zappia
Made You Up - Francesca Zappia
Thoughts: Water color waterfall. So I guess her made up boyfriend is her umbrella, protecting her from the water of public opinion? Anyway, it’s cool, minus the horrible font for the author title.

34. The Truth About Us – Janet Gurtler
The Truth About Us - Janet Gurtler
Thoughts: What is going on at the top of this cover? Did someone start erasing the background and get bored?

35. Jillian Cade: (Fake) Paranormal Investigator – Jen Klein
Jillian Cade (Fake) Paranormal Investigator - Jen Klein
Thoughts: I’m a child, so I’m hugely amused by this.

36. Under the Spotlight (The Jamieson Collection #3) – Angie Stanton
Under the Spotlight - Angie Stanton
Thoughts: Why did someone bring a spotlight out here to the forest for this? Why is the sky so orange? Debby, is this your doing?

37. Tracked – Jenny Martin
Tracked - Jenny Martin
Thoughts: This cover is a lion shield with wings. BUT WHY?

38. Thor’s Serpents (The Blackwell Pages #3) – K.L. Armstrong & M.A. Marr
Thor's Serpents - K.L. Armstrong & M.A. Marr
Thoughts: That font hurts my eyes somehow. Maybe it’s the way it looks against the acidic green background?

39. Those Above (The Empty Throne #1) – Daniel Polansky
Those Above - Daniel Polansky
Thoughts: OY WITH THE SWORDS ALREADY.

Cover Battles:

1. Famous in Love (Famous in Love #1) – Rebecca Serle

Famous in Love - Rebecca Serle
Famous in Love UK
Famous in Love - Rebecca Serle Spanish

US vs. UK vs. Spanish: So I’ve actually read this one and there is no biking/kissing scene in the book. What even.

2. Behind the Scenes (Daylight Falls #1) – Dahlia Adler

Behind the Scenes - Dahlia Adler
Behind the Scenes (Daylight Falls #1) - Dahlia Adler

US Original vs. US Redesign: Still not a total betty, but a vast improvement. It may be the cheesy cityscape that keeps this one from being as good as the matching Under the Lights cover. Also, for some reason, the font treatment does not work here, though it does on the sequel.

3. Days of Blood and Starlight (Daughter of Smoke & Bone #2) – Laini Taylor

Days of Blood & Starlight - Laini Taylor
Days of Blood and Starlight (Daughter of Smoke & Bone #2) - Laini Taylor UK
Days of Blood and Starlight (Daughter of Smoke & Bone #2) - Laini Taylor UK paperback
Days of Blood and Starlight (Daughter of Smoke & Bone #2) - Laini Taylor tesco
Days of Blood and Starlight (Daughter of Smoke & Bone #2) - Laini Taylor german
Days of Blood and Starlight (Daughter of Smoke & Bone #2) - Laini Taylor Italian
Days of Blood and Starlight (Daughter of Smoke & Bone #2) - Laini Taylor Indonesian
Days of Blood and Starlight (Daughter of Smoke & Bone #2) - Laini Taylor Slovakian
Days of Blood and Starlight (Daughter of Smoke & Bone #2) - Laini Taylor Czech
Days of Blood and Starlight (Daughter of Smoke & Bone #2) - Laini Taylor French
Days of Blood and Starlight (Daughter of Smoke & Bone #2) - Laini Taylor Polish
Days of Blood and Starlight (Daughter of Smoke & Bone #2) - Laini Taylor Thai
Days of Blood and Starlight (Daughter of Smoke & Bone #2) - Laini Taylor

US vs. UK Hardback vs. UK Paperback vs. Tesco Edition vs. German vs. Italian vs. Indonesian vs. Slovakian vs. Czech vs. French vs. Polish vs. Thai vs. Korean: BUGS ARE COMING OUT OF HER FACE AND THAT IS NOT OKAY. Though I do like the gay pride title, even if it’s hard to read.

4. Cuckoo Song – Frances Hardinge

Cuckoo Song - Frances Hardinge
Cuckoo Song - Frances Hardinge

UK vs. US: KILL IT WITH FIRE. I’LL SET FIRE….TO THE RAIN. WATCH IT BURN THIS THING’S FACE.

5. The Tale of Oriel (Kingdom #3) – Cynthia Voigt

The Wings of a Falcon - Cynthia Voight
The Tale of Oriel (Tales of the Kingdom) - Cynthia Voigt

Thoughts: Have you ever heard the wolf cry to the blue corn moon?

WTF of the Week:

WTF of the Week began as a special category for one cover I saw, but was so popular it became a recurring feature. Here, I highlight covers, both new and old, that I’ve found, which, upon viewing, made me either snort or say something along the lines of “Dear God, what is that thing?” If you would like to be part of the fun and have spotted a truly hilarious or horrifying cover, submit it and your snark to readeroffictions@gmail.com and you might be included, though I will filter through submissions and limit the number of entries per week.

1. The Road Trip (School Days-Grimm Nights #3) – Cricket Rohman
The Road Trip - Cricket Rohman
Thoughts: Woof.

2. The Spice of Life – Jake Furie Lapin
The Spice of Life - Jake Furie Lapin
Thoughts: They’re going to have a comfortable ride in that tiny car. Especially once the rest of the clowns arrive.

3. Squirrel Mafia – Sharon C. Williams
Squirrel Mafia - Sharon C. Williams
Thoughts: This is nuts.

Choose Your Favorite:

18 responses to “Cover Snark (123): The One Where the Dog Knows Best”

  1. Don’t think I didn’t catch that subtle poke at me.

    Or not so subtle.

    Whatever.

    *spreads orange everywhere*
    Debby (Snuggly Oranges) recently posted…One Year of Book Club!My Profile

  2. Gillian says:

    1. Don’t eat the yellow feathers

    3. I appreciate its graphic simplicity (and also its subject matter), but yeah. underwhelmed.

    7. Oo I want that case!

    8. AHAHAHA BESTSELLING AUTHOR OF RIVAL HEARTS

    10. ilu

    11. OOO PRETTY BUT ALSO DISTURBING

    13. Eyebasmmmmmm love the cool lush green and the swooping white stairs and the checks and the pop of red and GUSH GUSH GUSHHH

    15. Pshhhh, I love this cover. So jealous of her eye color and fabulous lips and CURLS

    16. Gillian laughing

    17. WHOAAAA

    18. BUT FANTASY IS LIKE 99.99999% SWORDS CHRISTINA WHAT ELSE COULD THERE POSSIBLY BE

    19. This is so fucking beautiful that i die

    20. Why is Rasputin like fucking lurking back there omk

    24. HAHAHAHAH OOER

    28. THREE AND OUT HOW IS THIS NOT ABOUT GAY FOOTBALL PLAYERS

    30. NO MORE COVERS IN HIEROGLYPHICS PLEASE OMK. I didn’t even NOTICE the background was doing that because i find that (ugly) black heart symbol so distracting.

    33. Braaaaintwinnnnnn

    36. Oooo yes was definitely Debby since we know how much she loved Stanton’s Royally Lost

    37. This looks really cheap.

    38. I would love this but ACID GREEN AND SILVER FONT OW EYEBALLS OW

    39. Okay yeah swords should no longer an entire fantas cover make but at least this one is FUCKING BAD ASS AND THERE’S SHIT GOING ON AND OMK AMAZINGGG

    CB4. WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS WHY IS THIS HOW IS THIS

    CB5. LOL SO PUNNY (lurve the second)

    WTF2. Are you reality?

    WTF3. SHARING IS NOT AN OPTION!
    Gillian recently posted…Reasons to Read: Every Breath by Ellie MarneyMy Profile

    • Pshhh, obviously it was Stanton’s way of trying to lure me in, to get me to give her a second chance. WELL.

      …no.
      Debby (Snuggly Oranges) recently posted…One Year of Book Club!My Profile

    • Christina Franke says:

      1. Or the white feathers. Let’s be real. But I see where you are going with this and I chuckled.

      3. I just do not often like white background covers. They look really boring on the interwebs. They sometimes are nice and shiny in person, but just look at it.

      7. It’s so cute!

      8. They totally meant to put Rival Love, which is the first book in the series. BAHAHAHA. I love that no one noticed.

      10. I literally only included this cover because I thought of that quote.

      11. ALL HE WANTED WAS CHINA BUT HE FINDS A BODY AND UGH THE PAPERWORK.

      13. Is your eye okay after BASMING? And then it GUSH GUSH GUSHED? DO WE NEED TO RUSH YOU TO AN EYE DOCTOR?

      15. Her curls are nice, I will grant you, but that title! Two of these words are on the don’t even list.

      18. Nothing else ever happens in fantasy. That is why I hate this genre. So unimaginative.

      20. GET OUT, RASPUTIN. OUT OF EUROPE OUT OF RUSSIA YOU SHOULDN’T HANG ABOUT.

      24. I MEAN REALLY THOUGH

      28. HOW? I MEAN IF IT WERE BASEBALL, THEN OKAY, BUT THIS IS FOOTBALL AND DUDES BANGING. IT MUST BE.

      30. It is also an exceptionally ugly heart. This child must be taught to color inside the lines.

      33. It was so funny because I wrote this and then went to chat and you were saying the same thing and I trolololed.

      36. THAT IS WHERE I KNEW THAT AUTHOR NAME FROM. OHHHHH.

      37. Yeah, Christina is not impressed with this.

      38. IT IS NOT JUST ME THEN.

      39. Admittedly, I do actually like this cover, minus the fact that it’s cutting through horizontal water or something. BUT I COULD MAKE A GILMORE REFERENCE AND SNARK ABOUT SWORDS.

      CB4. DEMONIC COVER.

      CB5. THANK YOU FOR NOTICING MY PUN. I WAS VERY PROUD.

      WTF3. This cover is basically my favorite thing.

  3. 17. This is SO COOL. GOSH I wish this were a Shae book. This one. This one right here. WINNER.
    Shae/Shelver @ Shae Has Left The Room recently posted…Cover Love #76My Profile

    • Christina Franke says:

      Interesting. It looks like it’s probably too hardcore of a sci fi for me, but it is pretty. I love space covers.

  4. 13. SO SO PRETTY. This will look great next to Cruel beauty. I love it when authors get similar looking covers and this will work with a lot of fairy tale retellings. I can’t wait 🙂
    19. And what is she holding in her hands?
    Mel@thedailyprophecy recently posted…20 things you probably didn’t know about me – tag.My Profile

    • Christina Franke says:

      13. I love it too, but it IS going to confuse everyone into thinking they’re a series, which is the one bad thing.

      19. Your heart.

  5. 1. I think the yellow ones are the leaves maybe? I really like this cover – the falling feathers, the colour scheme, the shadow of the boy in the wheelchair, the diversity.

    2. It’s fine, I guess.

    3. Plain, but I also like what they did here (interesting interview with cover designers and pub on Book Smugglers!)

    4. LOL it does! Love the fonts though.

    5. YIKES!

    6. This feels like there needed to be a pop of colour. Too monochromatic for me.

    7. Ohh, I like this! Feels Instagrammy and I’m digging the cellphone case.

    8. The colours just seem way too heightened in this… and the pink doesn’t fit.

    9. The swirly and vignette effect don’t work for me.

    10. Meh.

    11. What?! This is a pretty cool cover. Love the illustration.

    12. Oh, yes – the episode where there are flashbacks to prom night and they are taking videos on the beach!

    13. I’ll admit, not a fan of these covers for the series but I do really like the tagline.

    14. The muddled colours on these covers befuddles me.

    15. Not as striking as the first, but I think it still pulls you in.

    17. Woah that makes me dizzy, haha!

    18. It looks to me like two big puffy mitts trying to grasp the sword, hehe

    19. Woah. I’m intrigued!

    20. Creepy dude in the background!

    21. Be careful kids, yikes!

    22. I do not like but it does give me the heebie jeebies

    23. Seems overdone (the title, cover, tagline…)

    24-26. Reminds me of that Summer series (my mind is blanking on the full title, haha). Woah, they just released all the covers for the entire series? That’s different!

    27. Those scars! *shudders*

    28. I hate vignette effects. Like the font though.

    29. OMG the lobster! Such a cute chubster!

    30. OOOH I Like the mix of anatomical and cutesy hearts and the textured look.

    31. This reminds me of another cover but I can’t put my finger on it.

    32. Kinda like this except for the blue.

    33. BEAUTIFUL! Doesn’t tell me anything but it IS pretty.

    34. The top is super weird. It’s like bokeh effect or something.

    35. Looks kinda dated.

    Cover Battles.

    4. HOLY FUCK THAT IS SOME CREEPY MESSED UP DOLL HEAD!
    Rachelia (Bookish Comforts) recently posted…{Review} Dark Triumph by Robin LaFeversMy Profile

    • Christina Franke says:

      1. Ohhhh, they are leaves. That look oddly similar to feathers. And I would still like to know where they came from.

      4. I agree that the fonts are cute.

      6. I sometimes like the monochromatic thing, but it does feel like something’s missing on this one.

      8. Wrong instagram filter.

      12. Exactly! And then Veronica goes skinny dipping at the end of the episode.

      15. Agree.

      18. BAHAHHAHA. Or two goldfish crackers made out of water bubbles.

      24-26. It does remind me of the Jenny Han covers for the Summer books.

      30. Me too! I just hate that <3 in the title.

      35. It is very nineties.

      CB4. ISN'T IT. NOT OKAY, CANDLEWICK.

  6. I think I specifically like the cover for The Golden Specific, but it’s trying to be The Golden Compass a bit too much.
    -Jon from Bookish Antics!
    Jon @ Bookish Antics recently posted…Giveaway: Rooms by Lauren OliverMy Profile

  7. Ohhh Crimson Bound is STUNNING. And I love how it matches the other one with the swirly staircase thing. Now I just need to read Cruel Beauty so I can stay on top of that whole series.
    Kayla @ The Thousand Lives recently posted…ARC Review: Throwaway Girl by Kristine ScarrowMy Profile

    • Christina Franke says:

      I definitely encourage reading Cruel Beauty, because amazing, but they’re actually not a series or even companions! The matching covers are brilliant, but also confusion-making.

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