posted at Thursday, November 28th, 2013 at 6:00 AM | Uncategorized
Welcome to Cover Snark, where the people are snarky and the covers quiver in fear. Since I don’t write many snarky book reviews here on A Reader of Fictions, Cover Snark is my outlet. If you click on the title of the book, where possible, I’ve linked to Goodreads. Clicking on the cover itself will show you the cover in a larger size, in most cases. Feel free to love covers I hate and vice versa. Let me know your thoughts in the comments!
Shiny and New:
1. Sparrow Hill Road (Ghost Stories #1) – Seanan McGuire
Thoughts: Oh man, are they racing for ghostly pink slips on Sparrow Hill Road?
2. The Year of Chasing Dreams – Lurlene McDaniel
Thoughts: Wait! Dreams! COME BACK. LET ME LOVE YOUUUUUUUU.
3. A Little Too Hot (A Little Too Far #3) – Lisa Desrochers
Thoughts: Then maybe you should move to the North Pole. Or the South Pole. I’m easy. Like you guys.
5. Something Real – Heather Demetrios
Thoughts: I enjoy how silly and unique this one is. Also, is it set in the past, because those televisions.
6. Out of Control – Sarah Alderson
Thoughts: Oh hey, is the hot guy actually going to be a villain? That’s intriguing. Also, that color scheme. I cannot.
8. Oblivion (Nevermore #3) – Kelly Creagh
Thoughts: LOL, his face and her prom dress. I cannot.
9. Big Fat Disaster – Beth Fehlbaum
Thoughts: Oh my goodness, is it a cover with a girl who is obviously not super skinny, even if they’re just showing the arms? Progress. Someday maybe they’ll actually show the model.
10. Last Day of Love (Teardrop #1.5) – Lauren Kate
Thoughts: Wow, the novella cover is a million times better than the actual book’s. Wah wah. Awkward.
11. Misunderstandings (Woodfalls Girls #2) – Tiffany King
Thoughts: WHY IS THIS GUY ON EVERY COVER? GO AWAAAAAAY.
12. The Screaming Divas – Suzanne Kamata
Thoughts: I do not think you’re meant to kiss the microphone when singing. Maybe that’s the ship. A girl and her microphone. THE TENSION. Somehow I do not expect positive FEEDBACK on that.
13. Ignited (Sense Thieves #3) – Corrine Jackson
Thoughts: Whenever I am on the run, I like to wear my high top Chuck Taylors. They won’t catch you then. FIRE FEET. Also, you should confuse them with red smoke.
14. The Virgin’s Guide to Misbehaving – Jessica Clare
Thoughts: Rage rising. VIRGINS DO NOT NEED GUIDES TO MISBEHAVING. IT IS NOT THAT WE DO NOT KNOW HOW THE WORLD WORKS. *flips tables*
15. The Legend of Me – Rebekah L. Purdy
Thoughts: I am SO glad this says “no one should go into the woods” and not a gendered statement. Also, I feel bad for this girl. She has one hell of a heavy flow. And her poor dress! Could not deal with that once a month.
16. The Winter People – Rebekah L. Purdy
Thoughts: YOU DON’T KNOW, JON SNOW. WINTER IS COMING.
17. Draw Me In – Megan Squires
Thoughts: The old bait and switch tagline. Very helpful. We’re playing process of elimination on plot. One down, eighty million to go.
18. Unite Me: The Shatter Me Stories (Shatter Me #1.5, 2.5) – Tahereh Mafi
Thoughts: Wow, this one’s so…anticlimactic. Just bleeding mascara smoky eyes. Huh.
19. Emergent (Annex #2) – Rachel Cohn
Thoughts: Look at that creeper watching their watery sexy times! SKEEVY.
20. Music Box (Dollhouse #4) – Anya Allyn
Thoughts: I do not think this is how you are meant to wear a corset.
22. The Magician’s Land (The Magicians #3) – Lev Grossman
Thoughts: Apparently the magician really fucking loves snow.
23. Lords of Trillium (Nightshade Chronicles #3) – Hilary Wagner
Thoughts: I am so creeped out right now. Is that one rat going to save the others from animal testing? *cries*
24. Mistress of the Wind – Michelle Diener
Thoughts: Is this a continuation to His Dark Materials?
25. The Shadow Throne (The Shadow Campaigns #2) – Django Wexler
Thoughts: I am Yao, king of the rock.
26. Full Fathom Five – Max Gladstone
Thoughts: Diversity win. I would also like to know what is going on with her arm. Is she about to Hulk out?
27. Rushing Amy (Love and Football #2) – Julie Brannagh
Thoughts: Don’t you just love when giant men rush at you? Better hope Amy is a fast runner.
28. Little Green Men at the Mercury Inn – Greg Leitich Smith
Thoughts: Those are some grumpy kids, except for the one with the HUGE camera.
29. Binary (®Evolution #2) – Stephanie Saulter
Thoughts: Intriguing. Probably just a stock photo flipped, but there are so many weird things happening and I like it.
30. Under Different Stars (Kricket #1) – Amy A. Bartol
Thoughts: Seems like she should be more worried about the water she is under, and not the stars. That’s just me though.
31. Chasing Stars (After Eden #2) – Helen Douglas
Thoughts: It’s nice when taglines tell me I probably won’t like a book. Generally trusting your heart is code for making illogical choices in the name of “love.”
32. Heart Break Girl – Malorie Blackman
Thoughts: Huh, it’s weird how it sort of look like Noughts & Crosses, but also incredibly different. Is this a companion to Boys Don’t Cry? That circle is not very specific.
1. Exposure (Virals #4) – Kathy Reichs
US vs. UK: Ah, the UK cover is so much cooler, though Brendan is getting totally shafted with his font size and treatment.
2. Pretty When She Dies (Pretty When She Dies #1) – Rhiannon Frater
Self-pub vs. Permuted Press: Well, that’s gruesome. The original cover is more to my personal tastes, but I suppose this has an appeal. Though some people might wish she had BREASTWINGS. *cough* Inside joke *cough*
3. Out of the Easy – Ruta Sepetys
Hardback vs. Paperback: HARDBACK HARDBACK HARDBACK. I wouldn’t even identify this one as YA at a glance, which maaaay be the point.
4. Catherine – April Lindner
Hardback vs. Paperback: Big shrug. I guess maybe the paperback, since the setting is so grimy and non-romantic, which pretty much sums up Catherine and Heathcliff.
5. Illusion (Chronicles of Nick #5) – Sherrilyn Kenyon
US vs. UK: Ummm, they sure look similar. US for no tagline, I guess.
6. Das Mädchen das Geschichten fängt – Victoria Schwab
US vs. Hungarian vs. German: OH MY GOODNESS, I LOVE THE GERMAN COVER SO MUCH. Not sure that it fits with the book one bit, but soooo cute.
WTF of the Week:
WTF of the Week began as a special category for one cover I saw, but was so popular it became a recurring feature. Here, I highlight covers, both new and old, that I’ve found, which, upon viewing, made me either snort or say something along the lines of “Dear God, what is that thing?” If you would like to be part of the fun and have spotted a truly hilarious or horrifying cover, submit it and your snark to email@example.com and you might be included, though I will filter through submissions and limit the number of entries per week.
1. Close Call – Eloise March
Thoughts: THIS BOOK CONTAINS TALKING GENITALS. *is scarred for life*
2. Knitting with Dog Hair – Kendall Crolius & Anne Montgomery
Thoughts: So…this is a thing. Incidentally, another edition (there’s more than one!) has the subtitle: “Better A Sweater From A Dog You Know and Love Than From A Sheep You’ll Never Meet”
3. The Princess Bride – William Goldman
Thoughts: I…Is she an octopus? And what? And huh? And have they read this book? Also, AHHHHHHHHHH. (OMFG, RANDOM HOUSE MADE THIS. WHAT WHAT WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?
Outstanding Cover of the Week:
Something Real by Heather Demetrios
The Outstanding Cover of the Week is chosen by a Cover Snark reader. They are free to pick any of the week’s covers, whether they’re to my personal tastes or not. If you’d like to choose the cover for a week, either email or tweet me. You will need to be available Wednesday evening to consult.
Today, welcome Lili (Lili’s Reflections), who has selected Something Real by Heather Demetrios. Here’s why:
“SOMETHING REAL is my favorite. It’s totally quirky and unique and I love the concept of the older televisions which I’ve yet to see on a cover, but if I had to pick a favorite for overall prettiness it’s the German cover of The Archived. It’s just so visually appealing!”