Cover Snark (127): The One with Spaghetti and Hot Dogs

CoverSnarkChristina2

Welcome to Cover Snark, where the people are snarky and the covers quiver in fear. Since I don’t write many snarky book reviews here on A Reader of Fictions, Cover Snark is my outlet. If you click on the title of the book, where possible, I’ve linked to Goodreads. Clicking on the cover itself will show you the cover in a larger size, in most cases. Feel free to love covers I hate and vice versa. Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

Shiny and New:

1. Forsaken (Otherworld Stories #13.3) – Kelley Armstrong
Forsaken (Otherworld) - Kelley Armstrong
Thoughts: The wolf looks like it came out of Studio Ghibli. So…kind of like? Also, is it just me or is 13.3 weirdly specific?

2. The Uninvited – Cat Winters
The Uninvited - Cat Winters
Thoughts: I want that dress and those shoes desperately. The cover’s something I’ve seen over and over, but done pleasantly enough.

3. The Girl at the Center of the World (Islands at the End of the World #2) – Austin Aslan
The Girl at the Center of the World - Austin Aslan
Thoughts: Oooh, a Girl with All the Gifts pose beneath a volcano. COME TO ME, LAVA.

4. The Wrath & the Dawn (The Wrath and the Dawn #1) – Renee Ahdieh
The Wrath & the Dawn (The Wrath and the Dawn #1) - Renee Ahdieh
Thoughts: At first glance, I like it, but the more I stare, the more I wish there was a bit more variation in color.

5. Triple Moon: Summer on East End – Melissa de la Cruz
Triple Moon - Melissa de la Cruz
Thoughts: HAPPY NEW YEAR. In East End, we celebrate it in the summer by holding sparklers in our hands.

6. Until the Beginning (After the End #2) – Amy Plum
Until the Beginning ( #2) - Amy Plum
Thoughts: Pretty landscape with what looks like Tris and Four about to jump off a cliff for funsies.

7. Torn (The Feuds #2) – Avery Hastings
Torn - Avery Hastings
Thoughts: JUMP for your love.

8. The Notorious Pagan Jones – Nina Berry
The Notorious Pagan Jones - Nina Berry
Thoughts: It’s like newsprint laid over a Luxe cover. Also, there is mention of the East German army and pagans. Hello, Christina trap.

9. Grave Phantoms (Roaring Twenties #) – Jenn Bennett
Grave Phantoms (Roaring Twenties #) by Jenn Bennett
Thoughts: I hate that I could never get my hair to do that. Also that men do not have such excellent vest game anymore.

10. Feral Pride (Feral #3) – Cynthia Leitich Smith
Feral Pride - Cynthia Leitich Smith
Thoughts: Maybe I’m lion but I didn’t think that large cats could jump that high.

11. Infandous – Elana K. Arnold
Infandous - Elana K. Arnold
Thoughts: Totally thought they’d misspelled “infamous,” but this is actually a word. Also, I find this visually unappealing. At least I learned something.

12. Love Hurts – Malorie Blackman, ed.
Love Hurts - Malorie Blackman, ed.
Thoughts: Adorbs. The chubby little birdy crying a tear is a nice touch. The ear worm is painful though.

13. The Worst Class Trip Ever – Dave Barry
The Worst Class Trip Ever - Dave Barry
Thoughts: This class trip has a dragon? That sounds like the best ever. Field trips rarely have enough dragon.

Cover Battles:

1. The Edge of the Shadows (Saratoga Woods #3) – Elizabeth George

The Edge of the Shadows - Elizabeth George
The Edge of the Shadows - Elizabeth George

German vs. US: Bored bored bored.

2. Half a King (Shattered Sea #1) – Joe Abercrombie

Half a King ( #1) - Joe Abercrombie UK
Half a King ( #1) - Joe Abercrombie

UK Hardcover vs. UK Mass Market: Looks like they’re trying to convince people this would make the next super popular fantasy TV show or film.

WTF of the Week:

WTF of the Week began as a special category for one cover I saw, but was so popular it became a recurring feature. Here, I highlight covers, both new and old, that I’ve found, which, upon viewing, made me either snort or say something along the lines of “Dear God, what is that thing?” If you would like to be part of the fun and have spotted a truly hilarious or horrifying cover, submit it and your snark to readeroffictions@gmail.com and you might be included, though I will filter through submissions and limit the number of entries per week.

1. Spaghetti Western (Delectable #5) – EM Lynley
Spaghetti Western (Delectable #) - EM Lynley
Thoughts: The best way to lasso a chef is with a rope of spaghetti.

2. Roll Up the Streets – John Bladek
Roll Up the Streets - John Bladek
Thoughts: DUUUUUUUDE

3. Cosmoe’s Wiener Getaway – Max Brallier and Rachel Maguire
Cosmoe’s Wiener Getaway - Max Brallier and Rachel Maguire
Thoughts: Cosmoe is living a guy’s worst nightmare.

Choose Your Favorite:

12 responses to “Cover Snark (127): The One with Spaghetti and Hot Dogs”

  1. Kayla Beck says:

    4. We can play Concentration with this cover!

    7. This is so excrutiatingly awful that I just LOL’d. Patrons are staring.
    Kayla Beck recently posted…Waiting on Wednesday (80): Magic Shifts by Ilona AndrewsMy Profile

  2. Gillian says:

    2. Yes give me her outfit please

    3. LOLOLOL WAS GOING TO SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT BUT YOU SAID IT BETTER

    4. I think it’s vair purdyful and unique for a YA cover

    5. WTF is this

    7. I thought she was a mermaid for a sec

    10. Make mine a cub sandwich

    11. I very do not like the rubber band letters

    12. SO CUUUUTE

    13. Holy shit that’s adorable

    WTF1. HAHAHAHHAAHHAHA

    WTF2. This hurts
    Gillian recently posted…The TBR TagMy Profile

    • Christina Franke says:

      2. I do believe you mean MY outfit, since I already claimed it.

      3. The lens flare also is the same color as the background, so it looks like someone hole-punched her head.

      5. Imagine the content. trololol.

      7. She’s a mermaid of the sky. Cloudmaid. I do not like that. THERE MUST BE A PUN SOMEWHERE.

      10. Try picking on somebody you’re own size!

      11. I hate all of it. It’s beige and grey and yuck.

  3. MJ says:

    1) Scarlet’s hoodie from the Lunar Chronicles, much?

    2) Sort of looks like Lady Mary from the distance.

    3) Well, I’m glad the king of the world pose has branched out with volcanos?

    4) Summary almost looks similar to Scheherazade. Not a huge fan of the cover but will be reading.

    5) This is suppose to tie up loose ends to the TV show which is completely different from the book. I’m wondering if the author is going to deny her own book cannon. Is this going to be in an AU. Ugh, making my own head explode.

    The WTF of the Week are truly priceless this edition.
    MJ recently posted…Do Judge A Book By Its Cover: I’m Thankful For…My Profile

  4. 4. This cover really stresses me out, because it looks like that game where you have to fit the shapes in the holes but if you don’t do it in time it POPS AND SCATTERS THEM EVERYWHERE.

    9. *presses nose to screen* Is… he… POC? A bajillion points to this cover if so!
    Shae/Shelver @ Shae Has Left The Room recently posted…Cover Love #80My Profile

  5. 2. It’s pretty and I agree, it’s a concept I’ve seen before, but it works.
    4. Mweeeh. I don’t like it. For some reason it doesn’t work for me.
    5. I really like the braided hair though!
    Mel@thedailyprophecy recently posted…Review 302. Kasie West – Pivot Point series.My Profile

  6. Lyn Kaye says:

    6. Almost died at your description!

    12. That cover is way too busy.
    Lyn Kaye recently posted…Movie Review: Mockingjay Pt 1My Profile

  7. 4. Yeah, that cover is not really my thing despite the fact the major color IS my thing and I like what I see of her outfit. The cover reveal post told me the evil king is called the Caliph and the borderline racism of that makes me go NOPE because why use a Muslim religious title for your villain why bad idea

    5. I want those outfits yet don’t want and I don’t understand. I think it’s the colors?

    6. Like Thelma and Louise except heterosexual and sans car.

    8. I liiiiiike what I see of her hair.

    12. If that cover illustrated the most depressing love dodecahedron ever, I’d be in love. E and like two other people like Gayle, who likes Maureen AND James but they’re asexual and don’t like anyone…

    Well, poo. Not many covers I had anything to say about. 🙁

  8. Angela says:

    Did anybody else notice the Photoshop fail on #5? The girl on the left has no shadow.

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