Top Ten Bookish Dealbreakers

Top Ten Tuesday is a weekly meme hosted by The Broke and the Bookish.

Top Ten Tuesday is a weekly meme hosted by The Broke and the Bookish.

Liz Lemon explained dealbreakers to us on 30 Rock. With someone you’re attracted to, it’s like everything is golden until they utter that little phrase “I don’t like to read” and then it’s all over.

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Something similar happens with blurbs. Sometimes, I’ve fallen in love with the blurb or the cover or even the first half, but then THAT THING, that incredibly annoying idiosyncracy that makes you want to stab your eyeballs out in a Oedipal rage, strikes and you and the book are done. You may already have committed, but you will surely be filing for an annulment as soon as that book shuts.

1. You are a character in this book.
For the most part, I’m pretty open to narrative techniques. First person, third person. Multiple POVs. Past tense, present tense. The thing I cannot really handle is second tense. Though I did manage to get past it in All the Truth That’s in Me, I’m fairly certain I would have liked it MORE if it weren’t in second person. Using “you” doesn’t draw me in. I KNOW that’s not me, so it throws me out every time.

2. When the sentences. Are like. You know. Not complete. And stuff.0
Some books have nary a complete sentence. *cough* Lisa McMann *coughs* Sure, people do not tend to speak or think exclusively in complete sentences, but they also don’t speak and think exclusively in fragments. Simplistic writing I generally hate, and fragments outnumbering the sentences guarantees I will be NOT IMPRESSED.

Ugh, as if! photo asif_zps50911141.gif

3. The love interest is the hottest blah in the history of blah.
Listen up, y’all. I LOVE watching hot people okay. It’s one of my joys in life. I mean, there’s a reason the programs on the CW are so addictive, and it’s not the plots. For real, I can watch hot people for ages. However, when I’m reading a book, I want more realism than I do from television. I’m sick of every hero and heroine having perfect skin, non-frizzy hair, great style and more money than Midas. Like, it’s almost to the point where an ugly guy would be hotter just because he wouldn’t look like EVERY. OTHER. CHARACTER.

I do not like children. I like babies even less. They freak me out and do not interest me. In both books and tv shows, odds are high that I will be bowing out when someone has a baby. Even pregnancy is questionable, but, unless they totally ignore the baby once it comes out, I’m over it.

I hate children! photo ihatechildren_zps8e10b312.gif

5. When a book tries to make me sympathize with cheating scumbags.
There is like one acceptable reason for infidelity: when the spouse was presumed dead but then came back. If you thought you were a widow/widower, then I have no issue with you. James Garner’s character in Move Over, Darling gets a full pass. Oh, also, it’s different in situations of arranged marriages. In contemporary American stories, there’s no excuse for it. Either you love your significant other enough not to cheat, leave your significant other to cheat, or come to an arrangement with your spouse whereby they agree to renegotiate the terms of the relationship. Anything else and, in my opinion, you’re a douchebag. Cheaters can gain redemption, but I will never ever ship them with either the person they cheated on or WITH, since they clearly didn’t respect either of those people.

6. Oh, look, my ship got together and the book is OVER. NO. IS THAT IT?
I understand the appeal of the ship coming together at the end. A lot of authors aren’t good at maintaining the sexual tension and banter if the couple is together and happy. I’d rather them get together right at the end than get together and make each other miserable as a way to create tension. However, you don’t have a declaration of feelings and close the curtain. You give them SOMETHING. A grand kiss. An adorable bantery chat of couple-y-ness. An epilogue about them being happy a couple months in the future. SOMETHING.

Kiss the girl photo kissthegirl_zps98852ded.gif

7. When a heroine highlights her perfection by tearing down every other female character.
There are two books that perfectly exemplify this one, both by the same author: How My Summer Went Up in Flames and Famous Last Words. Both of these had so much promise. The author’s clearly talented, but both heroines immediately hate every other young, attractive female in the vicinity. They judge them as sluts and drunks, while engaging in the same sorts of behaviors, no less. Nope. I love bitches, but only if they’ve embraced who they are. Try to play the holier than thou card while being a bitch and I will cut you…right out of my heart.

8. Totally didn’t see that twist coming, now will you please take it back?
Ugh, so, sometimes I’m reading this awesome contemporary novel and I’m totally grooving on it. It’s a total mindfuck and everything is confusing perfection. Then, though, there’s a MINDBLOWING TWIST…that takes all the things I was loving and throws them right out the window. Now you have aliens or Greek gods or whatever. Same goes for fantasy or sci-fi things that end with a twist like the character waking up from a dream. Nope. Stop. We’re done.

What the fuck is going on? photo whatthefuckisgoingon_zpsadd8636d.gif

9. A fuzzy adorable creature just died.
Success! You have made this hard-hearted reader weep openly. However, you have done so with the laziest trick in the book. I’m not a psychopath, so I’m obviously going to weep when a kitten dies. Now, if you can make me sob over your human characters? THAT is talent, my friends. I can sort of accept that sometimes non-human animals have to die, but sometimes authors do this for kicks and easy feels-manipulation, and that shit is not acceptable.

10. Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but HEA with me maybe?
Nothing takes a book that I was totally in love with and turns it into a 2.5 star or lower faster than instalove. IN NO WAY IS IT LESS SWOONY FOR THEM TO NOT BE ALL “OMG I LURVE YOU” “NO I LURVE YOU MORE”!!!! This makes me want to throw up everywhere and makes me immediately question their relationship. Let them take it a day at a time. It’s not like the stability of a relationship is inversely proportional to the number of days it takes to say “I love you.” Make us YEARN and BURN for the declaration of feelings. BUILD UP SOME DAMN TENSION. Instalove is almost always accompanied with lazy writing. You CAN sell this to me as a reader, or at least you can sell to me that the CHARACTERS believe they’re in love, but there has to be a lot of character development to make it work. Though instalove may seem like an easy writing technique, it’s only for experts.


that's a dealbreaker photo dealbreakerladies_zps587f139e.gif

What bookish tropes/plots/narrative styles totally nullify any deal you had with the book? What are YOUR dealbreakers?

72 responses to “Top Ten Bookish Dealbreakers”

  1. Sarah says:

    I have nothing to say other than that this post made me laught so hard. Awesomeness πŸ˜›
    Sarah recently posted…Top Ten Tuesday (13)My Profile

  2. Kala says:

    hahaha awesome list!

  3. Yup! Agree with most of these. Excellent GIF usage here. I almost mentioned Lisa McMann in my TTT when I was talking about writing and flow. Freaky shit!
    Kara @ Great Imaginations recently posted…Book Review: The Explanation for Everything by Lauren GrodsteinMy Profile

    • Christina Franke says:

      Her writing makes me want to whack myself on the head with a pot. What really got me was that her middle grade novel wasn’t like that. She can do it, but apparently teens aren’t as bright as middle graders? Must be the hormones. It suspends the ability to think in complete sentences. Seeing through that haze of lust is hard, man.

  4. Okay so I didn’t write one this week but I just read Gillian’s and then I realized I didn’t have to write one because she freaking READ MY MIND! Cheating is a BIG one for me. As is abusive behavior, douche-y/controlling male leads.Also when a girl becomes ALLL about her significant other. Insta-love obviously.
    Alexia @ Adventures in Reading recently posted…Review: Thicker Than Blood: A Collection of Short Stories by K.N. LeeMy Profile

    • Christina Franke says:

      Gillian reads my mind on a regular basis. And then adds all the Disney lyrics I can’t quite remember to make something brilliant.

      Controlling male leads. *kicks them in the balls* TRY TO CONTROL ME NOW, DUDE.

  5. Allison L says:

    OMG! This list is genius! I love the way you put it together.
    Allison L recently posted…Allison: Top Ten Book Turn-OffsMy Profile

  6. Elizabeth says:

    I’m totally with you on #7. It’s like…ladies…sexism is especially depressing when it’s coming from the same gender. You should know better!
    Elizabeth recently posted…Top Ten Book Turn-OffsMy Profile

  7. Carrie-Anne says:

    Your #2 is a pet peeve for me too. Since when did it become acceptable, esp. in YA, to have so many micro-sentences and one-line paragraphs? Give teens more credit for having normal attention spans and reading ability beyond a basic level!
    Carrie-Anne recently posted…Top Ten Tuesdayβ€”Top Ten Book Turn-OffsMy Profile

  8. Katie says:

    Ooooo good ones! Some of these aren’t dealbreakers for me (like the baby thing, though it’s not my fav), but a lot of them irritate me nonetheless. Instalove, obviously. I also really dislike it when the heroine tears down every other female character. Or has no girl friends. Like, I get that some girls don’t get along with other girls. But there HAS to be SOME female in her life that she likes. A sister? A mother? A teacher?!
    Katie recently posted…Reading Wishlist: Books I Wish Existed, Pt. 2My Profile

    • Christina Franke says:

      Yeah, me being me, I don’t DNF much for these things usually, but if I know they happen, I’ll try to avoid the book. Basically the only thing I really DNF for if I’m far into the book is being bored to tears.

      Exactly! There have been times in my life where I didn’t have many female friends, but it wasn’t like I hated all women. It just happened that way.

  9. Ellis says:

    You would make the worst mother. Ignoring babies and shit. That’s pretty heartless, Christina. I actually hate it when getting together is as far as a bookish relationship goes. I really wish more (YA) books would feature an MC that’s already in a relationship. Maybe they break up, maybe one of them has other problems to deal with and they’re just there for each other, it’s all good. I’m just getting a bit tired of the single person trying to be together with the other single person for almost the entire book.
    Ellis recently posted…Top Ten Tuesday – Book, If You Do This, We’re Through. Sincerely, Me.My Profile

    • Christina Franke says:

      I so would. Thank you for understanding me. My kid would be so neurotic, based off of how my cat turned out. And that’s WITH affection. I have trouble showing affection to people. X_X This is the real reason why I’m single. Affection feels like I’m making a promise or something.

      Also, yes, I want more books that show a healthy, functioning couple. This isn’t impossible to write. There’s a manga series I love, even though it’s definitely not the best, because the couple gets together in the first volume and stays together for ten. THAT IS SO RARE.

      • Ellis says:

        Ha, we’ve had this conversation before, about your codependent cat. It’s pretty stupid if you’re getting flack over this. The entire purpose of this meme is that you express YOUR preferences.

        You’re not exactly declaring war on babies (it’s close, but there’s enough room for reasonable doubt, so you’re good). If they creep you out, that’s your prerogative. When I think of babies, the only thing that comes to mind is how ugly they are. Seriously, all those people saying how beautiful newborns are are LYING.

        “I have trouble showing affection to people. X_X This is the real reason why I’m single. Affection feels like I’m making a promise or something.” Probably the same reason I still am. The problem is, sometimes people read anything they want to in the slightest sign of affection, so I generally just back away entirely.

        Exactly. I mean, I can identify with these single characters because that has grosso modo been my relationship status since birth, but it wasn’t the norm. So many times I’ve been in the “everyone has a boy/girlfriend but me” spot. There’s so many interesting things you can do with a relationship that’s still growing. Sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn’t. Just… getting together is not endgame for me. I want to see what happens after.
        Ellis recently posted…Top Ten Tuesday – Book, If You Do This, We’re Through. Sincerely, Me.My Profile

        • Christina Franke says:

          Nah, not flack really. It’s just interesting that pretty much everyone had to comment on the babies part of the list, whether for or against. I don’t think anyone was like “fuck this monster”, but who knows really.

          Bahaha, the gif may have been a bit much, but it’s so funny. I regret nothing. I’ve never physically harmed a baby, and I wish them all the luck in the world (though hopefully I will never have to be around them). One did attack me once though (described in my response to Olivia), so I’m right to be wary.

          THAT. Like, if I kiss you now, it tells you that I am a certain degree of interested and you will expect this to continue, but I’m not really sure that I actually like LIKE you or if I’ll still think you’re cute tomorrow. So. Maybe we should just not and say we never will. And with “I love you,” I almost never say it irl, because I feel like LOVE is something you can’t take back. Love is forever, so if there are any conditions, I shouldn’t say it or it’s a lie. This is not healthy or normal, but ugh.

          Plus, I want books to give me hope in a realistic way. The relationships can have tension and problems without breaking up continually or infidelity or outside issues. THEY REALLY CAN.

  10. Shelly says:

    I totally agree with most of these! But the babies thing… not a deal breaker for me. I love babies and little children but it only annoys me when the children are portrayed as smarter than they would actually be in real life. Great list! πŸ™‚
    Shelly recently posted…September Wrap-upMy Profile

    • Christina Franke says:

      Ha, I know not everyone has the same dealbreakers, and that’s fine. Actually, pretty much the only middle grade and juvenile books I like are the ones about far above average children. Haha. :-p

  11. Great choices – I’m with you on the cheaters. I do disagree with the babies, but they shouldn’t be gratuitous.
    Christina @ Allodoxophobia recently posted…Top Ten Tuesday: Book Turn-OffsMy Profile

  12. Alessandra says:

    I hate number 7 and 9 too. Insta-love, too, but not so much lately. I’ve been reading a couple of new adult books with insta-love and it didn’t bother me all that much. Even though, in the book I’ve just finished, the guy falls in love with the girl by seeing her photograph on a job application. I mean, I can understand love at first sight when you meet, but when you see a picture? No. Just no.
    Alessandra recently posted…Book review: Freak of Nature by Julia CraneMy Profile

    • Christina Franke says:

      Oh wow. That must have been a GREAT picture. I mean, come on. People do NOT always look like their pictures. Also, hitting on someone applying for employment? Creepy.

  13. Vilia says:

    #7 is just awful. I also hate it when the author makes the ex out to be the most heinous creature ever just so the heroine looks good in comparison.
    Vilia recently posted…Top Ten Tuesday: Book Turn-offsMy Profile

  14. #4, 5, 7, & 8? SO WITH YOU. I don’t always mind cheating as a plot point in theory, but so often it’s used as a way to show the character actually belong with the other love interest “more”. NO. Can’t you at least break up with the person you don’t love anymore(assuming this is just about couples who are dating, the whole marriage thing is another topic), before hooking up with your ‘true love?”

    And babies. . . yeah, not a fan. Though I think I’m slightly more okay with babies than with pregnancy. I just. . . don’t like reading about pregnancy. Or watching it.

    • Christina Franke says:

      I’m not a very forgiving person and, for me, it’s generally very black and white. There’s no reason to cheat. You can end it first. Lying to someone is a sign that you do not love or respect them. It’s over. Admit it and end it. Step up.

      I can deal with pregnancy unless it goes into details. Then I’m like NOPE. GROSS.

  15. Andi says:

    This cracked me up! Love it. HAHA
    Andi recently posted…Top Ten Tuesday – Book Turn OffsMy Profile

  16. Anya says:

    The cheating scumbags! So agreed! I don’t even want to give them a break because they’re pathetic. They should lose completely.

    Hehe, while none of the Lisa McMann I’ve read has the fragments problem quite to that extent, I have to admit it doesn’t bother me when she does do that πŸ˜‰
    Anya recently posted…Top Ten (Or Five…) Book Turn-OffsMy Profile

    • Christina Franke says:

      They can overcome it, and shape up later. They can learn. However, there’s no way that I would ever take someone back who treated me that way. It sets a bad pattern. They’re not learning if they’re not punished with the loss of the person they treated so badly. That’s suggesting their behavior was acceptable.

      Oh man, I remember the first page of the third book in the wake series had like two sentences and a bajillion fragments. Ugh.

  17. Katie says:

    #2 is the only one I don’t MIND on this list. The others: YES! Dude, I love babies/kids and want to have one someday and all but I can’t stand it as a plot. Especially since I read mostly YA it’s…uncomfortable. Unless it’s specifically like, a ‘Teen Mom’ sitch book. But I still wouldn’t read that. So NO TO BABIES.

    • Christina Franke says:

      Yay! I’m glad it’s not just me and also not just people who don’t want kids who don’t like kids as a plot. I mean, I have no issue with people wanting them and I don’t want to kill babies or anything, but that doesn’t mean I have to want to read or watch them, you know? Just like I have no issue with people loving football, but I’m generally going to avoid that in books/movies.

  18. BETTY says:

    ha! i agree with you for sure on the whole ‘GO ON AND KISS THE GIRL’ thing… haha kills me when a book is loaded with tension.. and then the characters have a “moment” and NOTHING HAPPENS!
    BETTY recently posted…TTT- Top Ten Book Turn-OffsMy Profile

  19. #2 for sure. What’s worse about that one (for me) is that even if all other aspects of the book were good, like characterization and plot, I can’t concentrate on them because I want to go to New York, find their editor, and SHAKE THEM. The use of sentence fragments where a perfectly good, complete, sense-making sentence would have done better just baffles me. Are they trying to prove something? Are they trying to convey a certain aspect of that character’s emotional state or something?

    Then I rant and use the Thor-flipping-table gif again.
    Terri @ Starlight Book Reviews recently posted…Top 10 Tuesday: Book Turn OffsMy Profile

    • Christina Franke says:

      The occasional sentence fragment is totally fine. I’ve used them myself when writing, but the actual sentences should outnumber them, and there should be more than just Subject verb direct object sentences.

      Simple writing CAN be used effectively, but almost never for me. For example, I had to audio the Dairy Queen series, even though the writing is perfect for the character. It just grates on my brain.

  20. Whitley says:

    Much props to your whole list, but especially number 7. I have so much hate for the girl-on-girl auto-rivalries, but I also hate it in general when a character is only smart because everyone else is willfully ignorant.
    Whitley recently posted…Top Ten Tuesday: Book Turn-offsMy Profile

  21. Octavia says:

    Your blog is pretty. Stop by mine at:

    Kidding! Kidding!

    After all your bellyaching I had to drop by and see what all the fuss was about. And yes, you are fabulous. No I am not offended by your hatred of babies. Of course this post is hilarious. Please continue with the fantabulous gif usage. πŸ˜‰
    Octavia recently posted…Fallen by Lauren Kate ~ A live Review!My Profile

    • Christina Franke says:

      *narrows eyes*

      Ha, I didn’t really think anyone was offended by my dislike of babies, though maybe. The gif may have pushed them over the edge, but it’s so funnnyyyyy. Never have I harmed a baby. Just, you know, for information. Actually, a baby hurt me once. I was shelving books in children’s and it crawled over and touched me, which surprised and terrified me so much I whacked my head on the shelf. Youch. Babies are vicious. So are their parents, because they just laughed. RUDE.

  22. Danielle says:

    Christina, I am so there with you on the baby thing! I can sometimes get past it in a straight up romance, but pregnancy in, say, an action fantasy? Nopenopenope. I can deal with just about anything else, but that really grinds my gears.

  23. Lesley says:

    Wow, that’s quite a list! (I haven’t done one because I couldn’t narrow it down to just ten things. Also, I’m incredibly lazy. Especially when it comes to blogging) I actually agree with every single one, but I think the one I most agree with is number 8. I HATE when I start a book thinking it’s one genre and then suddenly something happens and it’s totally different. Even if it’s still good, it annoys me because it’s not the book I thought I was going to be reading. Two that come straight to mind are The Unbecoming of Mara Dyer (I was really into the PTSD thing because it was different) and the first Burn for Burn book. It didn’t bother me so much in the second because I was expecting it, so I’m thinking maybe I need to give the second Mara Dyer a try.
    Lesley recently posted…FIRE WITH FIREMy Profile

    • Christina Franke says:

      Hmmm, I expected Mara Dyer to do something else, so I was ready for that twist. The one that really bothered me was Ultraviolet. X_X

      Didn’t know Burn for Burn had a twist. I totally thought those were just Gossip Girl-ish contemps. No?

      • Lesley says:

        Nope. I thought the same, that it was kind of a frothy high school revenge drama – actually Gossip Girl is what popped into my head as well when I read the synopsis – but it was something quite different. I still recommend the series, I liked both books overall. They just weren’t what I expected and it was a massive turn-off for me at the time.
        Lesley recently posted…FIRE WITH FIREMy Profile

  24. Meg says:

    I totally agree that all of these things are super annoying, but #6 absolutely kills me. Unfortunately its one of those things that you don’t always see coming and by the time you realize what’s happening you’re emotionally invested and then its over and you die because What? No more? But…but…what? It’s the worst and not fair and I hate it. *stamps foot*

    • Christina Franke says:

      Yup, you’re already committed by the time you realize. For example, When You Were Here reveals a big twist partway through that didn’t genre-change, but did add in one of my dealbreakers here and I was so not up for that. πŸ™

  25. Jenn says:

    ALL OF THESE! On #1, I haven’t read a book in second person, but that would drive me nuts. On a related note, I hate books where the author can’t decide what tense/POV they’re writing it and flip it all around throughout the book. I recently DNFed a book for that reason. For #3, I definitely agree with you about the pretty people part, but I’m more annoyed by super amounts of wealth. It just feels like a lazy way to explain away things in most instances. With #4 I love babies. I babysit my little cousins frequently and adore them to pieces. That being said, I hate pregnancy plotlines and babies in books. I don’t know what it is, but they irk me. #5 Cheating scumbags are the absolute worst! I love your gif for #8 because it’s one of my dealbreakers that you didn’t mention. I hate when books have no point or I can’t figure out what the hell is going on because the author doesn’t tell the reader anything at all. Slowly revealing information can work to build suspense like in All Our Yesterdays. I can’t stand it when nothing happens and nothing is revealed. I can’t puzzle out things if you give me zero information and zero context for things. I’m pretty sure #10 is going to be on a lot of lists for this week’s TTT. Instalove is so ridiculous and, as you said, is usually accompanied by lazy writing.

    • Christina Franke says:

      1. I’ve only read a couple that I can remember, aside from Choose Your Own Adventure: The Archived and All the Truth. It’s just puzzling, and I don’t see that it adds anything to the reading experience, merely detracts.

      4. You’re not the only one to say you love babies…but not in books. It’s totally a thing. Babies just don’t do all that much, so they don’t make a fascinating plot.

      8. You mean like Maze Runner? Or LOST (which did explain it, but it was the biggest cop out that I call bullshit)?

      10. I almost didn’t put it because it’s so obvious, but I’m hoping if we all keep harping on it, authors will freaking stop.

      • Jenn says:

        Exactly like Maze Runner and LOST! I was specifically thinking of Nevermore by Kelly Creagh. It’s 500+ pages of nothing happening. The premise sounded so cool with nightmares coming to life and Poe.

  26. Oh my gosh, no they can’t kill off cute, fuzzy adorable animal babies. It’s not right, and I hate that too. With a PASSION. Especially if the cutie is a dog.
    Quinn @ Quinn’s Book Nook recently posted…Top Eight Book Turn-OffsMy Profile

  27. Nice! I have issues with second person pov as well. Very few times has it worked for me – though in the cases that have worked, it’s not the only POV.
    Becky LeJeune recently posted…Top Ten Tuesday: Book Turn-OffsMy Profile

  28. Celine says:

    I HAVE FOUND A KINDRED SPIRIT. I do not like babies – at all. Or little children. My friends all think I’m weird and that babies are adorable, and they often joke about how I would be the worst mother in the world πŸ˜› I’m so glad I’m not the only one who thinks babies are just, well, ew.

    Also agreed on the rest – especially the fragmented sentences. I do think in short or incomplete sentences, but I also think in complete and sometimes lengthy and complicated sentences. I can’t stand choppy sentences (I feel like I use the word ‘sentences’ too much) because in my head, I pause at every comma or period. Which. Is. Really. Annoying.
    Celine recently posted…Top Ten TuesdayMy Profile

    • Christina Franke says:

      Nope. Babies are not adorable. They look like aliens. And they’re ugly for so long. Most animals are miniature versions of their grown up selves within a couple days and humans take years. What the eff?

      Yup. I have to stop or pause at each period or comma. Sigh. I also struggle with verse, because I WILL pause at the end of each line.

  29. I wish I’d been able to get past Judith talking to me like I was her love interest, but nope. I gave up after part one because I knew I wasn’t going to like it. It worked much better with Stolen because… Well, it was a letter to her captor. And that book was powerful as hell.

    UGH. THE BABIES. It will hopefully make you happy to know there are no babies in Cinderbeard. There might be a pregnancy (still trying to figure out if I want that as a quick plot point), but the general attitude to pregnancy is OH SHIT NO, THIS GOTTA GO due to who it’s related to. (Also, that gif looks really, really familiar.)

    And for fragment hatred, stay as far away from Alyson Noel as possible. Even if she writes something that sounds awesome, DON’T. IT’S A TRAP. I should try a Lisa McMann novel sometime to see if one is worse than the other.

    But yeah, I hear you on every single one of these dealbreakers, girl.
    Ashleigh Paige recently posted…Review: Fault Line by C. DesirMy Profile

    • Christina Franke says:

      Finally managed to get over it, but it was a struggle, and I would have liked it more without that. And, yes, in a letter it makes sense. Also in epistolary or diary formats.

      CINDERBEARD. You keep taunting me with this. Also, sometimes I read it as CINDERBREAD. Which would not be delicious.

      Ha, I read the first one in that Ever something series a while back. It wasn’t good. I mostly remember it being tropey and boring. Of course, this was in 2008, so I’m sure I’d have much more to say now.

  30. LOVE the gifs for children!
    Because of one of your posts, one of my turn offs is overused phrases… I cannot un-see them now!!!! Drives me crazy πŸ™‚

    I agree with killing off the cute and cuddly creature, I did not even think about until I read your post. I was reading a popular Dystopian and when they killed the dog I was one unhappy camper!

    Our TTT

    Ashley @ The Quiet Concert
    Ashley @The Quiet Concert recently posted…Top Ten Tuesday (37) – October 1stMy Profile

    • Christina Franke says:

      You are welcome. Every time you read them, you release a breath you didn’t realize you were holding, right?

      Ha, every time I mention animal death, that book comes up. Even worse than the death for me, though, was all the abuse hurled the dog’s way PRE-DEATH. That poor dog.

  31. Ugh, #9 for sure. KNIFE OF NEVER LETTING GO, I’m thinking of you….

  32. Your meme choices are great! Also, I completely agree that books should have complete sentences. I am big on grammar, and choppy sentences get on my nerves. They also make the text difficult to follow.
    Check out my TTT list:

  33. Katy says:

    I don’t like reading about babies or children either! If I know a baby is involved, I will shy away. I don’t plan to read How to Love. I don’t want to hear about how awful pregnancy is. Babies are loud and messy. And ultrasound pictures are creepy. I can usually handle surprise pregnancy or babies, but I will frown a lot. I’m glad I’m not the only one who feels this way!

    I agree with some of the others (like #6 and #10) but mainly I wanted to comment on babies! Haha.
    Katy recently posted…Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe by Benjamin Alire SΓ‘enz [book review]My Profile

    • Christina Franke says:

      I picked up How to Love at BEA, and was GOING to try it, but then I heard the guy is also an asshole, and the double whammy was just no, so I’m skipping it. ULTRASOUNDS. The special hell to the people who put their ultrasounds up on facebook. I DO NOT NEED TO SEE YOUR VAGINA. They’re something out of a horror novel.

  34. Sunny says:

    HAHA. “I love watching hot people” is like my motto in life. Ewwww on 2nd person and cheating scumbags. Those can go die now, thanks. Eh I’m iffy on babies. I don’t really see the point of them in books. Well, except if it’s centered around teenage pregnancy, but that’s a been there, done that plot.

  35. pabkins says:

    I hate the cheaters and the token violent backgrounds, also slow moving plots. And yeah the whole “chosen one” thing – it gets so tired after awhile.
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  36. Molli says:

    Instalove makes me want to vomit. It’s so LAZY. Sure, teens fall in love fast – I did a time or two, but not within days. And instalove just BOTHERS me so much because it’s…NOT love. It’s just attraction that never develops into anything. BOO.
    Molli recently posted…Cover Reveal: The Most Wonderful Time of the Year by Marie LandryMy Profile

    • Christina Franke says:

      You know how I feel about this. It just seems like authors want them to be in love for the plot and the lengths to which they go for each other, but they don’t want to have to take the time to develop. Add some staring at one another with an unbreakable gaze, a “connection” and a couple of sappy lines about being in love and BAM you’re done. Just no. Fault Line had them falling in love in a little over a month, but I thought it was well done. They DID have chemistry and they backed it up with actions and being respectful of one another, until things happened. Plus, a month can be a long time if you hang out a lot. And they’re young. Teens will think they’re in love and that’s cool, but there needs to be something there. You can’t just say it and make me believe it. Declaring it makes me even more skeptical.

      • Molli says:

        From a realistic standpoint you know, I can see it… I was in a relationship once where within about two months we said “I love you.” Did we understand it? Oh no, no, no, but we THOUGHT we did. I think I was 20 and he was 19. Love is scary when it happens fast and you’re young. So insta-love to an extent I think I can “get” like how you described it in Fault Line sounds more like insta-LIKE and then a relationship developed. It can be fast and still organic, but it can’t be fast, no deeper than the surface lingering glance, never deepen, AND be organic.

        Exactly, you can’t TELL me these two beautiful people are in love but not back it up with conversation, getting to know one another, sharing interests and goals, and TIME. That was one of my issues with Twilight, looking back. Like SM told us the whole series how much E and B loved each other but man, I need to FEEL that shit. (Oops my potty mouth is showing.)

        However I will say if an author is tongue-in-cheek about insta-love, it makes me giggle. Buuut that doesn’t happen often enough.

        Christina (from C Reads YA) was commenting on my slow burn post and she was wondering why isnta-love is still so darned trendy. It just…makes me think. Are publishers pushing it? Are authors including it because they think an overwhelming amount of teens will relate? If so, it seems like there could be a balance perhaps, since such a large amount of 20-somethings and older read YA and will find it harder to relate to insta-love.

        / word vomit (you know you love me anyway.)
        Molli recently posted…Review: Fangirl by Rainbow RowellMy Profile

  37. Lyn Kaye says:

    3. The love interest is the hottest blah in the history of blah.

    I hate this with the passion of a thousand suns. I know if you are attracted to someone, they are going to be attractive to you, but they do not have to be the MOST BEAUTIFUL THING EVER, MARBLE STATUES AND GODS AND SHIT.
    No, just, no more.

    You baby gif makes me stare and laugh for a minute straight.
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  38. Anna says:

    Insta-love and cheating are both on my list because I can’t STAND THEM! πŸ™‚ Insta-love especially, because it usually signals lazy writing and means the author didn’t bother to take the time & build the relationship. Y’all don’t love each other, you just want in the other one’s pants!!! Quit trying to convince me otherwise! LOL Great list!

    My TTT:
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  39. Sarah M says:

    That GIF with the baby is how I feel about every child who comes in to where I work (a pet store) and whose parents think we are a babysitter! I want to tell them, no we aren’t a here to babysit your child and make sure they don’t drop animals as you shop at Safeway!
    SO I definitely agree with the children/baby things.

    Also agree about the Fuzzy creature thing. I love animals (especially dogs). I hate to read about their deaths or abuse or anything! Especially unnecessary animal deaths.

  40. 1. I can’t remember the last time I read a novel told in second person narrative. I’m pretty sure there were poems like that when I was doing my GCSEs, but… Yeah. Hmm.

    2. This only works if it’s Gannicus, because no one else can compare and they should just stop trying. And hey, Supernatural is a fabulous TV show! Although that was WB first.

    4. Who is that guy in the gif? I need to know. For science.

    7. How My Summer… That. Bloody. Book. I, too, often love bitches, but the author did an awful job of creating a bitchy main character. She came across as up herself, hateful, and I thought she should have been run over during that roadtrip.

    8. I love twists, but switching genres on me like that is not cool.

    9. I would agree, but Patrick Ness ruined my life in the best way.
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  41. Jessie says:

    I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone post both Liz Lemon and Cher Horowitz in the same post, but you make it make sense.’

    1. Booo hissss at second person. I would almost completely give up on it but a few books have made it work. Still, for the most part, this is a sign that I won’t like the book.

    #3. The CW is really good at casting beautiful eye candy. I think that was how they cast Supernatural and TVD. “let’s get these unnaturally pretty people TOGETHER on the same channel!”

    #4. AGH YES. Remember that book we were flailing over a few weeks ago about? I HOPE HE CAN PULL THAT WHOLE SITUATION OFF. Cause [spoiler] pregnant?! WHAAAT

    #5. I have no idea what Move On, Darling is and that’s probably a goodo thing. Cheating is a big “no, thank you” for me as well. I will never like a character that thinks that type of behavior is worthy of sympathy.

    #7. This is said perfectly. I hate that. It’s just…. ugh. So tired of seeing this in so many YA novels!

    #9. ARGH THIS. There are some authors that are notorious for it and yet I keep reading their books but THIS IS THE WORST. I immediately get more upset over animal characters. Especially if they talk!

    #10 — PREACH IT
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