Cover Snark (247): Queen of Air and Snarkness

Welcome to Cover Snark, where the people are snarky and the covers quiver in fear. Since I don’t write many snarky book reviews here on A Reader of Fictions, Cover Snark is my outlet. If you click on the title of the book, where possible, I’ve linked to Goodreads. Clicking on the cover itself will show you the cover in a larger size, in most cases. Feel free to love covers I hate and vice versa. Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

Please note that you should by no means contact the author if you do not like their cover; they likely have ZERO control. Feel free to express opinions of the covers in the comments, but please do not @ an author on Twitter because of anything you’ve seen here.

Shiny and New:

1. Zen and Gone – Emily France

Thoughts: I can’t beleaf how adorable this is.

2. The Queen of All Crows (The Map of Unknown Things #1) – Rod Duncan

Thoughts: Grade A Skullduggery.

3. Save the Date – Morgan Matson

Thoughts: I really want to love this cover but it’s sloppy and the photoshop really shows. I mean the background is black despite the sun on the grass. Just why? And a slice is cut out of the cake before they’ve done the first bite swap which no.

4. Queen of Air and Darkness (The Dark Artifices #3) – Cassandra Clare

Thoughts: When you feeling fly but also dead

5. Leah on the Offbeat – Becky Albertalli

Thoughts: Easily my least favorite of Albertalli’s covers, bc I find this color combo a bit eye-gouging (though I adore all the colors individually) and don’t love the movie promo for a different book (much as I am DYING to see that movie). But I love her dress and the fat heroine getting to be all bamf on the cover.

6. Love & Other Carnivorous Plants – Florence Gonsalves

Thoughts: Sadly not as awesome as the cover or as badass as Audrey II.

7. Time Bomb – Joelle Charbonneau

Thoughts: Is that an old beat up armchair in front of lockers???? Does anyone’s school look like this???

8. Hiding – Henry Turner

Thoughts: Living life in the dropshadow.

9. State of Sorrow (Untitled #1) – Melinda Salisbury

Thoughts: “The ripples.” “So small at first, then look how they grow. But someone has to start them.”

10. The Supervillain and Me (Morriston Superheroes #1) – Danielle Banas

Thoughts: These fonts are certainly villainous.

11. Sinless (Eye of the Beholder #1) – Sarah Tarkoff

Thoughts: Let those without sin cast the first skin.

12. The Summer of Jordi Perez (And the Best Burger in Los Angeles) – Amy Spalding

Thoughts: I hate the fonts, and I’m grossed out by the blurry close-up of the burger.

13. The Impossibility of Us – Katy Upperman

Thoughts: Pretty generic with a sort of “this was popular on WattPad” look to it. They’re lil cuties tho.

14. For Everyone – Jason Reynolds

Thoughts: They hope to keep interest from flagging. (See what I did there?)

15. Surviving Adam Meade (Surviving Adam Meade #1) – Shannon Klare

Thoughts: Pretty cute, though it’s a little strange that their shoes match the truck.

16. I Am Thunder – Muhammad Khan

Thoughts: Rolling like thunder right over that patriarchy.

17. Neanderthal Opens the Door to the Universe – Preston Norton

Thoughts: Chickawut

18. Goodbye, Perfect – Sara Barnard

Thoughts: That is a lot of that font.

19. The Summer of Us – Cecilia Vinesse

Thoughts: The bright yellow title’s a bit much but the paper city’s cute.

20. Like Never and Always – Ann Aguirre

Thoughts: I’m pretty sure I’m literally never impressed with these face meldy covers.

21. The Accidental Bad Girl – Maxine Kaplan

Thoughts: OMG, she spilled nail polish. What a fuckin’ rebel. Also, I find this deeply unpleasant looking on every level.

22. In Your Light – Annalie Grainger

Thoughts: If Eeyore were a cover.

23. Sam & Ilsa’s Last Hurrah – Rachel Cohn & David Levithan

Thoughts: They died trying to complete the latest YouTube challenge: drinking glitter.

24. Someday, Somewhere – Lindsay Champion

Thoughts: Couples’ hair is the new thing.

25. Bookish Boyfriends – Tiffany Schmidt

Thoughts: P&P represent! Tolerable, I suppose.

26. Nothing But Sky – Amy Trueblood

Thoughts: It looks like her head got propellered off her body.

27. The Disturbed Girl’s Dictionary – NoNieqa Ramos

Thoughts: It looks like the cover vomited on itself.

28. Ironheart (Valentine #2) – Jodi McAlister

Thoughts: Sooooo it’s a fairy tale.

29. The Opposite of Here – Tara Altebrando

Thoughts: If you’re trying to hide somewhere, maybe don’t have a custom necklace made with the coordinates?

30. I’m Not Missing – Carrie Fountain

Thoughts: For a moment I wasn’t sure who the author was because the title looks like I’m Not Missing Carrie Fountain.

31. The Upside of Falling Down – Rebekah Crane

Thoughts: Outlook cloudy. Ask again later.

32. Antipodes – Michele Bacon

Thoughts: *googles “Antipodes”*

33. Freak ‘N’ Gorgeous – Sebastian J. Plata

Thoughts: Unless this is like Avenue Q, I hate it.

34. The Foreseeable Future – Emily Adrian

Thoughts: Is it the apocalypse

Cover Battles:

1. Into the Fire (Vatta’s Peace #2) – Elizabeth Moon

US vs. UK: As much as I want to love the US cover, the fonts lend it a self-published feel. The UK cover’s just so much sleeker.

2. One Way – S.J. Morden

UK vs. US: They’re both great, but the US cover is subtly funny and the UK covers is trying a wee bit too hard to be The Martian.

3. Swarm (Zeroes #2) – Scott Westerfeld, Margo Lanagan, & Deborah Biancotti

US Hardback vs. US Paperback: What were you thinking? This right here is a perfect example of why I mostly hate silhouettes.

4. Nexus (Zeroes #3) – Scott Westerfeld, Margo Lanagan, & Deborah Biancotti

Australian vs. US: Seriously, why? The original design, copied off of the Australian covers isn’t amazing, but jesus these redesigns suck.

5. The Harper Effect – Taryn Bashford

Australian vs. US: Oh my god, that heart tennis ball would be the biggest dick to try to play with. Still better than the eye-gouging hot pink by a landslide.

6. Kissing Games (Aurora Skye #2) – Tara Eglington

UK vs. US: Okay so I didn’t love the US cover for the first one, but I really don’t like this one and it doesn’t even MATCH. WHY???

WTF of the Week:

WTF of the Week began as a special category for one cover I saw, but was so popular it became a recurring feature. Here, I highlight covers, both new and old, that I’ve found, which, upon viewing, made me either snort or say something along the lines of “Dear God, what is that thing?”

1. Dirty Vows (Beautifully Dirty #5) – Paige Steele

Thoughts: This concept is tired.

2. 5 Chances (Outcast, #2) – B. Austin

Thoughts: The cover has been redesigned since its cover reveal last year (good choice), but we can still enjoy the symbol just plopped on this guy’s hoodie sleeve.

3. Mage Against the Machine (Nocturnal Academy #5) – Ethan Somerville

Thoughts: This one too has been redesigned but hoo boy is it worth a gander.

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