Cover Snark (246): Not the Snark You’re Looking For

Welcome to Cover Snark, where the people are snarky and the covers quiver in fear. Since I don’t write many snarky book reviews here on A Reader of Fictions, Cover Snark is my outlet. If you click on the title of the book, where possible, I’ve linked to Goodreads. Clicking on the cover itself will show you the cover in a larger size, in most cases. Feel free to love covers I hate and vice versa. Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

Please note that you should by no means contact the author if you do not like their cover; they likely have ZERO control. Feel free to express opinions of the covers in the comments, but please do not @ an author on Twitter because of anything you’ve seen here.

Shiny and New:

1. All Out: The No-Longer-Secret Stories of Queer Teens Throughout the Ages – Saundra Mitchell, ed.

Thoughts: HOLY FUCK. This may be the most gorgeous Harlequin Teen cover ever.

2. The Brink of Darkness (The Edge of Everything #2) – Jeff Giles

Thoughts: Purple cloud rapunzel.

3. The Struggle Is Real – Maggie Ann Martin

Thoughts: I’d prefer the top of her head not being cut off, but otherwise I’m thoroughly delighted.

4. Whisper of the Tide (Song of the Current #2) – Sarah Tolcser

Thoughts: YES to the gold title and the purple. No to the cheesy coins.

5. Toil & Trouble: 16 Tales of Women & Witchcraft – Jessica Spotswood & Tess Sharpe, eds.

Thoughts: Patriarchy burn and cover bubble!

6. Give Me Some Truth – Eric Gansworth

Thoughts: Give me your guitar.

7. Broken Beautiful Hearts – Kami Garcia

Thoughts: This cover says, “I very much want to be dark and edgy, but actually I’m cheesy af.”

8. Finding Yvonne – Brandy Colbert

Thoughts: The fact that she wears a necklace with her name on it ought to make this a bit easier.

9. Void Black Shadow (The Voidwitch Saga #2) – Corey J. White

Thoughts: God forbid ladies not look sexy af in spacesuits.

10. Picture Us in the Light – Kelly Loy Gilbert

Thoughts: So meta.

11. The Game Can’t Love You Back – Karole Cozzo

Thoughts: I live for her “taking none of your shit” stare. The font’s a tragedy, but it can’t quite spoil the fun of the models.

12. Ghost Boys – Jewell Parker Rhodes

Thoughts: Anyone feeling like they just walked into a Peyton Sawyer poem?

13. Medusa Uploaded (The Medusa Cycle #1) – Emily Devenport

Thoughts: IS THAT A MEDUSA WITH WIRES INSTEAD OF SNAKES OMG

14. Armistice (Amberlough Dossier #2) – Lara Elena Donnelly

Thoughts: My but you’re a peacocky, handsome bastard.

15. The Unfortunates – Kim Liggett

Thoughts: Tying ties is really hard okay

16. Hope Nation: YA Authors Share Personal Moments of Inspiration – Rose Brock, ed.

Thoughts: I can practically feel the tears running down my face tbh.

17. American Hippo (River of Teeth #1-2) – Sarah Gailey

Thoughts: HippOMG

18. The Warrior Within – Angus McIntyre

Thoughts: Throw a couple of dinosaurs on there and that’s Dinotopia.

19. Gods, Monsters, and the Lucky Peach – Kelly Robson

Thoughts: MY BODY WAS NOT READY.

20. Not the Girls You’re Looking For – Aminah Mae Safi

Thoughts: STAR WARS REFERENCE. YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY THE GIRLS I AM LOOKING FOR. THIS MAY HAVE BACKFIRED. OR DID IT???

21. Ozland (Everland #3) – Wendy Spinale

Thoughts: She’s re-enacting Harry’s catch of the key in Sorcerer’s Stone.

22. Cross Fire (Exo #2) – Fonda Lee

Thoughts: This looks like a badass supersuit.

23. Skyjacked – Paul Griffin

Thoughts: So was it the lightning or a hijacking that’s crashing this plane?

24. Screenshot – Donna Cooner

Thoughts: Basic.

25. Stone Mad (Karen Memery #2) – Elizabeth Bear

Thoughts: “I can kill you with my brain.”

26. I Felt a Funeral in My Brain – Will Walton

Thoughts: And that is why you do not drink mysterious orange beverages.

27. Hullmetal Girls – Emily Skrutskie

Thoughts: I want to love this so much more than I do, but at least it’s a vast improvement over The Abyss Surrounds Us; I’ll never be over that cover.

28. Your Destination Is on the Left – Lauren Spieller

Thoughts: Good try, GPS. That’s a lake.

29. Deep Roots (The Innsmouth Legacy #2) – Ruthanna Emrys

Thoughts: She looks about 1/10 as freaked out as I would be if that tail/tentacle/thing came at me.

30. Bloody Rose (The Band #2) – Nicholas Eames

Thoughts: GIRLS HAVE FUN BY CUTTING DOWN THE PATRIARCHY

31. The Shape of Water – Guillermo Del Toro & Daniel Kraus

Thoughts: Two men writing a book with a girl sexing a sea monster on the cover. 😟

32. Starless – Jacqueline Carey

Thoughts: Stardust to the nth power.

33. Girl at the Grave – Teri Bailey Black

Thoughts: Momentarily thought this was a redesigned The Girl and the Grove. This one’s better but they’re both green and leafy with very similar titles.

34. Guardian (Alternative Detective #3) – A. J. Hartley

Thoughts: Can the weeping angels get you if you’re rappelling down a building???

Cover Battles:

1. The Edge of Everything (The Edge of Everything #1) – Jeff Giles

US Hardback vs. US Paperback: As silly as these cloud people are to me on the redesign, I do find them more compelling than the white one that’s one fire. And I do think they better convey the genre, considering that til now I thought The Edge of Everything was a contemporary.

2. Carve the Mark (Carve the Mark #1) – Veronica Roth

US Hardback vs. US Paperback: If we slap some Divergent on it, we can make even MOAR MONEY.

3. Scarlet (Scarlet #1) – A.C. Gaughen

US Hardback vs. US 2017 Reprint: This redesign is actually not bad (and this is by far my favorite of the three, but I still love the original cover way too much to be happy with it, despite the bloody menace.

4. Lady Thief (Scarlet #2) – A.C. Gaughen

US Hardback vs. US 2017 Reprint: Okay, why is Scarlet a vampire?

5. Lion Heart (Scarlet #3) – A.C. Gaughen

US Hardback vs. US 2017 Reprint: No, really, she’s not a vampire

6. Amberlough (Amberlough Dossier #1) – Lara Elena Donnelly

US Hardback vs. US Paperback: Okay, this is awesome but also the hardback though.

WTF of the Week:

WTF of the Week began as a special category for one cover I saw, but was so popular it became a recurring feature. Here, I highlight covers, both new and old, that I’ve found, which, upon viewing, made me either snort or say something along the lines of “Dear God, what is that thing?”

1. Bulldog’s Girls – Ann Mayburn

Thoughts: Fonts like these get you sent directly to the pound.

2. Ball Peen Hammer – Lauren Rowe

Thoughts: I cannot stop laughing. A+

3. Sugar Daddies – Jade West

Thoughts: Ewwwwwwwww

3 responses to “Cover Snark (246): Not the Snark You’re Looking For”

  1. Katie says:

    Omg #11, I have two things to say about it: 1) thank god the athlete girl has meat on her bones! She’s not stick thin, but actually looks like she works out and eats food. 2) the downside of this cover is that the dude gazing at her looks like he could be her brother…

  2. Lesley says:

    For Carve the Mark, I think it’s weird that they emphasized the author’s initials in the title. Like, we know her name, it’s also on the cover.

  3. Bisma Loral says:

    Give me Some Truth by Eric Gansworth is a very good and neat cover. Words are nicely surrounded with a picture of guitar. Rest all are also good.
    Bisma Loral recently posted…We are Coming SoonMy Profile

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