Cover Snark (245): Snark in the Deep

Welcome to Cover Snark, where the people are snarky and the covers quiver in fear. Since I don’t write many snarky book reviews here on A Reader of Fictions, Cover Snark is my outlet. If you click on the title of the book, where possible, I’ve linked to Goodreads. Clicking on the cover itself will show you the cover in a larger size, in most cases. Feel free to love covers I hate and vice versa. Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

Please note that you should by no means contact the author if you do not like their cover; they likely have ZERO control. Feel free to express opinions of the covers in the comments, but please do not @ an author on Twitter because of anything you’ve seen here.

Shiny and New:

1. Rage (Stormheart #2) – Cora Carmack

Thoughts: Looking down on 2017.

2. City of Lies (Poison Wars #1) – Sam Hawke

Thoughts: Really excellent work on that smoke effect, but a little bit generic.

3. The Strange Fascinations of Noah Hypnotik – David Arnold

Thoughts: You’re not supposed to stand this close to the television, Noah.

4. When Life Gives You Demons – Jennifer Honeybourn

Thoughts: Nife work!

5. The Boyfriend Bracket – Kate Evangelista

Thoughts: The background eyes upset me.

6. Twelve Steps to Normal – Farrah Penn

Thoughts: The top of this bottle is not unlike a penis.

7. Pretty Dead Girls – Monica Murphy

Thoughts: And the winner for most generic thriller cover and title of all time goes to!

8. The Traitor’s Ruin – Erin Beaty

Thoughts: What dork is drinking water out of this goblet. Maybe you’re ruined because you didn’t drink wine like a badass.

9. Airports, Exes and Other Things I’m Over – Shani Petroff

Thoughts: I haaaaaaate when the cover voting doesn’t end with the best cover winning. *harrumphs and pouts*

10. The Girl and the Grove – Eric Smith

Thoughts: Flux, you really need to step your game up.

11. Storm-Wake – Lucy Christopher

Thoughts: The storm loves me. The storm loves me not. The storm loves me….

12. Lovely, Dark and Deep – Justina Chen

Thoughts: Can’t decide if fluffy or sad.

13. Love Me, Love Me Not – S.M. Koz

Thoughts: Their hips are mountains.

14. The Handsome Girl and Her Beautiful Boy – B.T. Gottfred

Thoughts: *side-eyes*

15. Worth a Thousand Words – Brigit Young

Thoughts: Real talk: this has a massive created with WordArt and MS Paint vibe.

16. Ace of Shades – Amanda Foody

Thoughts: Pretty damn cool, even the title does weird things to my brain.

17. Rewind – Carolyn O’Doherty

Thoughts: I’d pout about being on this boring cover too.

18. To Kill a Kingdom – Alexandra Christo

Thoughts: OMG knife-wielding octopi attacking would be so gross and terrifyingggggg.

19. The Brightsiders – Jen Wilde

Thoughts: Jen Wilde’s brand is officially brightly-colored hair, and that’s not remotely a bad thing.

20. Missing at 17 – Christine Conradt

Thoughts: At first glance, I always think it says “Missing Oct 17” which also makes sense. Also, novels are now being made of Lifetime movies. WE HAVE COME FULL CIRCLE.

21. The Cheerleaders – Kara Thomas

Thoughts: Man, don’t you hate when your period takes you by surprise?

22. Sky in the Deep – Adrienne Young

Thoughts: Viking Clarke!

23. Risen (Blood Eternal #1) – Cole Gibsen

Thoughts: When we die, our bodies become the grass, and the antelope eat the grass. And so we are all connnected in the great Circle of Life.

24. Orphan, Monster, Spy – Matt Killeen

Thoughts: Those shoulders look really narrow compared to the head.

25. How to Breathe Underwater – Vicky Skinner

Thoughts: Do not buy this self-help guide. Humans cannot breathe underwater.

26. One Small Thing – Erin Watt

Thoughts: is the thing condensation

27. The Art of Escaping – Erin Callahan

Thoughts: Pretty awesome though my eyes feel like they’re playing leapfrog trying to read this title.

28. The Rebels of Gold (Loom Saga #3) – Elise Kova

Thoughts: She looks like a badass zombie person.

29. Ink, Iron, and Glass (Ink, Iron, and Glass #1) – Gwendolyn Clare

Thoughts: What they’re doing with the title there is really cool, though they’re not quite pulling off the ink, iron, and glass.

30. The Fandom – Anna Day

Thoughts: Fandom is a thorny business.

31. All This Has Nothing to Do With Me – Monica Sabolo

Thoughts: This really works. The facelessness fits the anonymity of the book, and the stripes have a criminal flair.

32. The Calculating Stars (Lady Astronaut #1) – Mary Robinette Kowal

Thoughts: This could not be more Hidden Figures.

33. The Fated Sky (Lady Astronaut #2) – Mary Robinette Kowal

Thoughts: And this one’s REALLY reminiscent of The Martian.

34. The Phoenix Empress (Their Bright Ascendency #2) – K. Arsenault Rivera

Thoughts: FUCK. THIS. WATER.

35. Rogue Protocol (Murderbot Diaries #3) – Martha Wells

Thoughts: Murderbot, I AM YOUR FATHER.

36. The Barrow Will Send What it May (Danielle Cain #2) – Margaret Killjoy

Thoughts: This cover is bamf, and Killjoy is such a perfect name for a horror author.

37. The Atrocities – Jeremy Shipp

Thoughts: But you, good sir, should be writing romance. (This cover’s boss though so I’ll allow it)

38. Emergency Contact – Mary H.K. Choi

Thoughts: OMG this reminds me of Kione and Mari so hard.

39. Constance Verity Saves the World (Constance Verity #2) – A. Lee Martinez

Thoughts: NOW KISS.

Cover Battles:

1. Hero at the Fall (Rebel of the Sands #3) – Alwyn Hamilton

UK vs. US: This really isn’t fair. I mean, just look at that UK cover.

WTF of the Week:

WTF of the Week began as a special category for one cover I saw, but was so popular it became a recurring feature. Here, I highlight covers, both new and old, that I’ve found, which, upon viewing, made me either snort or say something along the lines of “Dear God, what is that thing?”

1. Decoherence (Time & Shadows Mystery #3) – Liana Brooks

Thoughts: Just because it’s an ebook is no reason for this cover design.

2. Daybreak Rising (Daybreak Rising #1) – Kiran Oliver

Thoughts: Such real. Much design. Very fire.

3. My Zombie Fiancé (The Undead Canadian #2) – T. Strange

Thoughts: Less bothered by the fact that the fiancé is a zombie than by the fact that apparently the fiancé is maybe also a marshmallow peep?

7 responses to “Cover Snark (245): Snark in the Deep”

  1. Dahlia Adler says:

    I had so many comments to make then I just lost it at FUCK. THIS. WATER. and now I have no more thoughts.
    Dahlia Adler recently posted…Perpetual WIPs: Bookseller Edition, Part IIMy Profile

  2. Nori says:

    I just wanted to say that I love Cover Snark. I know it’s about covers, but it also introduces me to so many titles for the first time. And there are so many books I just added to my TBR. So, thanks for doing these! Also, I love Kione and Mari! They were my favorites.
    Nori recently posted…Pashmina by Nidhi ChananiMy Profile

    • Christina Franke says:

      That’s totally the point of Cover Snark!

      Kione and Mari were my faves too. Much as I love The Twins, I don’t think they should have beat K&M in the semi-final. That was the one spot where I really felt like the judges went for the better story rather than the better performance.

  3. Leah says:

    Your thought on Risen has me snorting with laughter.

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