Cover Snark (244): Snark Like a Firestorm

Welcome to Cover Snark, where the people are snarky and the covers quiver in fear. Since I don’t write many snarky book reviews here on A Reader of Fictions, Cover Snark is my outlet. If you click on the title of the book, where possible, I’ve linked to Goodreads. Clicking on the cover itself will show you the cover in a larger size, in most cases. Feel free to love covers I hate and vice versa. Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

Please note that you should by no means contact the author if you do not like their cover; they likely have ZERO control. Feel free to express opinions of the covers in the comments, but please do not @ an author on Twitter because of anything you’ve seen here.

Shiny and New:

1. Letting Go of Gravity – Meg Leder

Thoughts: Okay listen those colorful birdies on that background just make my hard heart happy.

2. Scream All Night – Derek Milman

Thoughts: And this isn’t being released around Halloween because?!?!

3. If Only – Jennifer Gilmore

Thoughts: IDK, but I feel like the decision on whether to dive into the water is going to disappear when the island sneezes her off.

4. These Rebel Waves (Stream Raiders #1) – Sara Raasch

Thoughts: Me: Absolutely not reading another Raasch book after SLA.
Me, upon seeing the cover: Absolutely reading this book.

5. The Other Side of Lost – Jessi Kirby

Thoughts: I won’t tell this cover to take a hike, even though it wants me to.

6. Neverwake (Dreamfall #2) – Amy Plum

Thoughts: Carouhell no.

7. Heretics Anonymous – Katie Henry

Thoughts: “To toast! I love toast.”

8. Nine – Zach Hines

Thoughts: Nein.

9. The Truth Lies Here – Lindsey Klingele

Thoughts: Now this is how it’s done. There’s about a million thriller covers with a girl walking into a creepy forest, but this one looks unique and gorgeous and creepy. Excellent work.

10. The Last Best Story – Maggie Lehrman

Thoughts: That yellow polka dot dress is life. Someone buy it for me? I know I’m supposed to be snarking here but this cover is dapper af and I want to be best friends with it.

11. Fierce Like a Firestorm (Hibiscus Daughter #2) – Lana Papovic

Thoughts: WITH ALL THE STRENGTH OF A RAGING FIIIIIIIIIRE

12. In Another Time – Caroline Leech

Thoughts: So I really like that her outfit hasn’t been sexified, but there’s something I feel a bit bland about and idk what. Maybe the color palette? Or maybe it’s something about how the font looks like it goes with a cutesy contemp? halp

13. The Looking Glass – Janet McNally

Thoughts: Damn impressed that the butterfly clips don’t make her look straight out of the year 2000.

14. Hidden Pieces – Paula Stokes

Thoughts: It’s missing something.

15. Dating Disasters of Emma Nash – Chloe Seager

Thoughts: That poor girl just got a dick pic, didn’t she?

16. 2 Fuzzy, 2 Furious (The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl #2) – Shannon Hale & Dean Hale

Thoughts: 2 FUZZY 2 FURIOUS I AM SO HAPPY

17. Always Never Yours – Austin Siegemund-Broka & Emily Wibberley

Thoughts: Maybe try dating girls instead?

18. Beast: A Tale of Love and Revenge – Lisa Jensen

Thoughts: THE WOLF IN THE ROSE. THE TEXTURE. I wasn’t sold on first glance but it’s so intricate in high res.

19. Thunderhead (Arc of a Scythe #2) – Neal Shusterman

Thoughts: I can not stop staring that human-nose-shaped scythe handles. I didn’t see it at first but now I can’t unsee the phantom faces.

20. Restore Me (Shatter Me #4) – Tahereh Mafi

Thoughts: My eyes ITCH just looking at this. Nope nope nope.

21. From Twinkle, With Love – Sandhya Menon

Thoughts: Menon’s cover models stand out for being the absolute happiest. Like, doesn’t her smile just make you want to smile?

22. Not If I Save You First – Ally Carter

Thoughts: Oh snow.

23. Future Lost (Future Shock #3) – Elizabeth Briggs

Thoughts: She looks pretty ADAMant about it anyway.

24. Assassin of Truths (Library Jumpers #3) – Brenda Drake

Thoughts: Sprayer of perfumes.

25. Social Intercourse – Greg Howard

Thoughts: *snickers*

26. Phoebe Will Destroy You – Blake Nelson

Thoughts: Just picturing Phoebe Buffay’s reaction to this.

27. Four-Letter Word – Christa Desir

Thoughts: Blah.

28. Jazz Owls: A Novel of the Zoot Suit Riots – Margarita Engle

Thoughts: This cover is the bee’s knees.

29. All That I Can Fix – Crystal Chan

Thoughts: he amount of sadness I have about this animal cracker monkey looking at his dead tiger compatriot. 😢😢😢

30. See All the Stars – Kit Frick

Thoughts: What the frick is with the droopy space paint or wax or w/e under the title?

31. Our Stories, Our Voices – Amy Reed, ed.

Thoughts: I like to imagine they’re poking the patriarchy’s eyes out.

32. Splendor and Spark (Shimmer and Burn #2) – Mary Taranta

Thoughts: Here lies an unfortunate victim of Send Your Enemies Glitter.

33. Sanctuary – Caryn Lix

Thoughts: SO FAKE LOOKING

34. The Dead Enders – Erin Saldin

Thoughts: Jersey snore.

35. The Universe Is Expanding and So Am I (The Earth, My Butt, and Other Big Round Things #2) – Carolyn Mackler

Thoughts: Tag line is very fun.

36. Mirror, Mirror – Cara Delevingne & Rowan Coleman

Thoughts: Such edgy. Much famous.

37. Whisper – Lynette Noni

Thoughts: Bored now.

38. The Letting Go – Deborah Markus

Thoughts: I’m so proud of Sky Pony. They’re doing so much better!

39. Dive Smack – Demetra Brodsky

Thoughts: Backflop.

Cover Battles:

1. Let Me List the Ways – Sarah White

US vs. Australian: THEY EDITED HIS SHIRT OFF AND HER PANTS OFF AHAHAHA. But also, rude. Srsly, it’s even the same genre, and that book is only like 3-4 years old. We see you.

WTF of the Week:

WTF of the Week began as a special category for one cover I saw, but was so popular it became a recurring feature. Here, I highlight covers, both new and old, that I’ve found, which, upon viewing, made me either snort or say something along the lines of “Dear God, what is that thing?”

1. Bright Burns the Night – Sara B. Larson

Thoughts: Don’t piss off the royal crown-maker.

4 responses to “Cover Snark (244): Snark Like a Firestorm”

  1. Dahlia Adler says:

    Dying at the commentary on Sara Raasch’s cover because yeah there is zero chance of not reading a book with that cover, ever. I am obsessed. Also love that Meg Leder cover, and YES, I think that is probably my favorite Sky Pony cover ever? Wow, I had not seen that before! Obviously yes to Sandhya Menon having the greatest covers of all time, and OMG I am in LOVE with that BEAST cover. Like, it already looks like a Special Edition and I need it.

    ALL I WANT NOW IN LIFE IS FOR REBRANDED BOOKS TO HAVE CLOTHING PHOTOSHOPPED OFF BECAUSE THAT IS HILARIOUS.
    Dahlia Adler recently posted…Perpetual WIPs: Bookseller Edition, Part IIMy Profile

    • Christina Franke says:

      I hope it’s a vast improvement. I mean, Kiersten White wrote some not great books and her new stuff is PHENOMENAL, so it can happen. COME ON, RAASCH. Live up to this coveerrrrrrrr!

      The Meg Leder cover is perfection. The colors and the fonts and it all just plays together so nicely.

      Sky Pony had a nice middle grade one (I think Gina Linko?), but this is very much one of the best. They have to have hired a new designer.

      It does look like a special edition and I want to pet it.

      I was like “why does this look familiar????” Then I remembered and pulled it up and about died laughing.

  2. 2. That’s what she said. (I’m sorry.)
    4. Yep, pirates. I need it.
    9. I love the composition of this cover!!
    11. MYSTERIOUS AS THE DARK SIDE OF THE MOOOOOON.
    15. This looks very 2005.

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