Cover Snark (243): A Flicker in the Snark

Welcome to Cover Snark, where the people are snarky and the covers quiver in fear. Since I don’t write many snarky book reviews here on A Reader of Fictions, Cover Snark is my outlet. If you click on the title of the book, where possible, I’ve linked to Goodreads. Clicking on the cover itself will show you the cover in a larger size, in most cases. Feel free to love covers I hate and vice versa. Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

Please note that you should by no means contact the author if you do not like their cover; they likely have ZERO control. Feel free to express opinions of the covers in the comments, but please do not @ an author on Twitter because of anything you’ve seen here.

Shiny and New:

1. My Lady’s Choosing: An Interactive Romance Novel – Kitty Curran & Larissa Zageris

Thoughts: Okay is it just me or does my lady choose another lady in the bottom left corner? This is adorable and silly and I love the hell out of it.

2. Brave (A Wicked Saga #3) – Jennifer L. Armentrout

Thoughts: You know, everyone tells kids not to swim for half an hour after they eat which doesn’t even matter, but clearly the warning kids actually need is not to go swimming in ball gowns. Also, SNERK.

3. Anger Is a Gift – Mark Oshiro

Thoughts: In that case, 2017 is a gift that keeps on giving. :-<

4. Legendary (Caraval #2) – Stephanie Garber

Thoughts: Surprise twist! The sequel is about…wait for it… Barney Stinson.

5. Grace and Fury – Tracy Banghart

Thoughts: GOSSIP GIRL: The dystopia.

6. Aru Shah and the End of Time (Pandava Quartet #1) – Roshani Chokshi

Thoughts: TOTES ADORBS.

7. If You Don’t Have Anything Nice to Say – Leila Sales

Thoughts: You can’t stop me, Thumper’s mom. This new look for Sales’ books irritates the shit out of me TBH. They’re mostly washed out and then stab you in the eye with neon.

8. Heart of Thorns – Bree Barton

Thoughts: The thorns are amaaaaaaaazing. A bit less sold on the other fonts but who even cares, my thorny heart. And OMG I JUST NOTICED THE BACKGROUND. Be still my bookish heart

9. Puddin’ – Julie Murphy

Thoughts: The sheer amount of sass they’re serving!!!

10. Listen to Your Heart – Kasie West

Thoughts: Absolutely everyone hates this couple with their matching heart shaped innertubes.

11. 9 Days & 9 Nights – Katie Cotugno

Thoughts: Little hipster teens living instagram lives but too cool for instagram so they’ve got polaroids.

12. Court of Shadows (House of Furies #2) – Madeleine Roux

Thoughts: Do you think this court and the Court of Thorns and Roses have a turf war going?

13. The Collide (The Outliers #3) – Kimberly McCreight

Thoughts: TBH I am burned out on the covers for this series, but Meg said this cover’s technically impressive so good on them.

14. Allied (Ruined #3) – Amy Tintera

Thoughts: I’d prefer if they served donuts tbh. Like, you know how revenge is best served cold? Maybe justice is best served with donuts. OMG IS THIS WHY THERE’S THE STEREOTYPE OF COPS AND DONUTS?!?!?!

15. The Lies They Tell – Gillian French

Thoughts: Those dudes absolutely just peed into that water because they could.

16. Onyx & Ivory – Mindee Arnett

Thoughts: The title font’s shininess looks rather gaudy against that gorgeous sculpted background. But ZOMG THAT TREE THO.

17. Questions I Want to Ask You – Michelle Falkoff

Thoughts: Question 1: Why do we always have to dress matchy matchy? Everyone at school hates us.

18. A Lite Too Bright – Samuel Miller

Thoughts: While absolutely lovely, this looks more like a picture book than YA.

19. The Academy – Katie Sise

Thoughts: Taylor Swift has to go all Cadet Kelly. (Pretty sure I got both these jokes from Gillian fyi)

20. We’ll Fly Away – Bryan Bliss

Thoughts: We’ll be MIA on our Paper Airplanes. And I bet today’s teenagers don’t get that reference. *weeps*

21. Eden Conquered – Joelle Charbonneau

Thoughts: The mirror of Eri-said you should have gotten that cleaned.

22. My Plain Jane – Cynthia Hand, Brodi Ashton, & Jodi Meadows

Thoughts: Look at them putting on eyres.

23. Always Forever Maybe – Anica Mrose Rissi

Thoughts: “The aesthetic should be ‘a shower that has literally never been cleaned.'”
“Yes, absolute genius!”

24. Monday’s Not Coming – Tiffany D. Jackson

Thoughts: That’s the dream. FOREVER WEEKEND.

25. Mariam Sharma Hits the Road – Sheba Karim

Thoughts: Seriously will never be over these instagram kids who are all retro with their polaroids. Do you know how excited we were about digital photos, you hooligans?!?!

26. A Flicker in the Clarity – Amy McNamara

Thoughts: On (needle)point!

27. Summer of Salt – Katrina Leno

Thoughts: Are you the f/f ship I’ve been looking for????

28. Now You See Her – Lisa Leighton & Laura Stropki

Thoughts: This has been done befooooore and those eyes look so incredibly fake and just why to this whole thing tbh.

29. Wild Blue Wonder – Carlie Sorosiak

Thoughts: Listen, they are totally playing to me here: it’s my favorite color (blue), font-centric, clever, illustrated, and the tagline’s promising a ship.

30. 99 Lies (100 Hours #2) – Rachel Vincent

Thoughts: I’ve got 99 problems and this cover is one.

31. A Thousand Beginnings and Endings – Ellen Oh & Elsie Chapman, eds.

Thoughts: Well, that’s just unfairly perfect.

32. Notes from My Captivity – Kathy Parks

Thoughts: Day 1: Trees. Day 2: More trees. Day 3: Oh hey guess what trees…Day 102: FUCK TREES.

33. Endless Water, Starless Sky (Bright Smoke, Cold Fire #2) – Rosamund Hodge

Thoughts: I still feel like the individual elements are all decent, but combined they look super cheesy. Still prettier than is deserved, however.

34. Contagion (Contagion #1) – Erin Bowman

Thoughts: I don’t know what’s on this cover but I know that I don’t want it anywhere near me. I feel like it takes special talent to make something so creepy also look beautiful.

35. Sea Witch – Sarah Henning

Thoughts: Rooting for Ursula this time around.

36. The Girl You Thought I Was – Rebecca Phillips

Thoughts: *sighs* If you want to do a cover that’s just a model’s face and have it feel remotely unique, do it for a book with a POC MC. There are 800 kajillian white girl face covers, and I can’t tell them apart anymore. It’s a nice shot, and the font treatment is lovely, but I’m bored of seeing covers exactly like this.

37. How We Learned to Lie – Meredith Miller

Thoughts: Not setting my world on fire but it’s fine. The matches are lit, but the fonts are a bit boring.

Cover Battles:

1. The Empress (The Diabolic #2) – S.J. Kincaid

US vs. UK: The orange title on this shade of blue background really isn’t working for me tbh.

2. Bygone Badass Broads: 52 Forgotten Women Who Changed the World – Mackenzi Lee

US Take 1 vs. US Take 2: Let’s see: we’ve added some snazziness around the title, made the title more colorful, and the lady with the hat traded out her plain dress for one with a funky print. Odds that Mackenzi will find a dress somewhere in an eerily similar print? HIGH.

3. The Loneliest Girl in the Universe – Lauren James

UK vs. US: One looks like a girl spontaneously combusting in space, and the other looks like a lonely girl trapped aboard a space ship. One guess which one I like better.

WTF of the Week:

WTF of the Week began as a special category for one cover I saw, but was so popular it became a recurring feature. Here, I highlight covers, both new and old, that I’ve found, which, upon viewing, made me either snort or say something along the lines of “Dear God, what is that thing?”

1. Brightly Burning – Alexa Donne

Thoughts: LOOK AT YOUR LIFE LOOK AT YOUR CHOICES. WHY ARE JANE AND ROCHESTER IN SOME SORT OF PURPLE NIGHTMARE OF A SPACE WOMB? WHAT THE ACTUAL SHIT IS THIS? See it hi res with EW’s stamp here, but it doesn’t get better.

10 responses to “Cover Snark (243): A Flicker in the Snark”

  1. That Thorns cover is so bad. I had to quint to read the title. I love the background and the thorns themselves but that font has got to go.
    Kristin (Book Sniffers Anonymous) recently posted…Sneak Peek Wednesday: Haven by Mary LindseyMy Profile

  2. Angie says:

    I will die on my hill of being the only person who likes the Brightly Burning cover.

    I’ve accepted this.

  3. Mary says:

    Honestly, I am so pissed right now at that stupid Brave cover. It doesn’t match the other two in the series. Different photo (when they HAD A PHOTOSHOOT FOR THE SERIES!!) and different font makes it a total hot mess. So angry.
    Mary recently posted…Waiting on Wednesday: Batman: NightwalkerMy Profile

    • Christina Franke says:

      I actually hadn’t noticed it was different, but that makes it even worse. I actually didn’t like the photoshoot ones either personally, but wow they didn’t even TRY.

  4. Yayyyy cover snark is back!! 🙂

    1. So adorable! I love the design.
    4. Very pretty but doesn’t stand out much…
    6. Love how colorful it is!
    8. It reminds me too much of Heartless but the thorns look genuinely sharp and scary, which I like!
    11. YOUR CAPTION HAH.
    14. The background is gorgeous.
    22. Love the cover and how it matches with My Lady Jane!
    25. Bahahah seriously. Digital pictures are the BEST. But I adore this cover and I want to eat that brownie.
    28. This is so jarring.
    35. The book sounds so goooood but this is a little too shiny. Maybe it’s the font.
    2. Ooh I like the Take 2 title design a lot!
    WTF: Literally terrible. How does a book with that good of a concept get that shitty of a cover.
    Morgan @ The Bookish Beagle recently posted…September & October Reading Challenge UpdateMy Profile

    • Christina Franke says:

      Oh man it was so hard to convince myself to bring Cover Snark back.

      1. My Lady Chooses to Read This
      4. I agree. I love all the elements, and I should be swooning. I think maybe the background is slightly too dark? Idk. This is where not being an actual designer really hurts me haha.
      6. Child me would have been all over this.
      8. I really like this one a lot, which is weird because I know some people don’t and I’m picky but whatevs I love it.
      14. Minus the brown one I LOVE these covers.
      22. These aren’t my fave covers, but I do like how they match and that they’re really committing to being what they are.
      25. This cover has me excited to read this book (even though I didn’t like the author’s debut).
      35. Gonna disagree here. I like the amount of shiny. I can’t stop staring into her eyes.
      CB2. I love both title designs, but it’s EVEN BETTER. Mackenzi should get her hair done in sunset colors for the release.

      WTF: SRSLY HOW COULD THEY

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