Cover Snark (240): Snark at the Gates

Welcome to Cover Snark, where the people are snarky and the covers quiver in fear. Since I don’t write many snarky book reviews here on A Reader of Fictions, Cover Snark is my outlet. If you click on the title of the book, where possible, I’ve linked to Goodreads. Clicking on the cover itself will show you the cover in a larger size, in most cases. Feel free to love covers I hate and vice versa. Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

Please note that you should by no means contact the author if you do not like their cover; they likely have ZERO control. Feel free to express opinions of the covers in the comments, but please do not @ an author on Twitter because of anything you’ve seen here.

Shiny and New:

1. Love Double Dutch! – Doreen Spicer-Dannelly

Thoughts: THAT SIDELONG SMIZE!!! ♥

2. The Case of the Perilous Palace (The Wollstonecraft Detective Agency #4) – Jordan Stratford & Kelly Murphy

Thoughts: Puppy found a clue! Or a creepy man in a painting. You know.

3. The Piper’s Apprentice (The Secrets of the Pied Piper #3) – Matthew Cody

Thoughts: This cover is piping hot. See what I did there? (Actually, it looks pretty fucking cold but leave me my pun, gdi.)

4. The Lifters – Dave Eggers

Thoughts: Oh boy, an adult lit fic author doing middle grade. This should be fun.

5. Sneak Thief – Faith Harkey

Thoughts: Not what I would steal but everyone’s got their own tastes.

6. Fragments of the Lost – Megan Miranda

Thoughts: Well, this is unpleasant to look upon.

7. The Last Gargoyle (Goyle, Guardian #1) – Paul Durham

Thoughts: Here’s another one that looks like an anime. I wonder if that’s a new trend?

8. A Reaper at the Gates (An Ember in the Ashes #3) – Sabaa Tahir

Thoughts: Penguin’s just fucking with all of you at this point.

9. Samantha Spinner and the Super-Secret Plans – Russell Ginns

Thoughts: This reminds me so much of the end of The Emperor’s New Groove, only there’s a pug instead of a cat.

10. The Reckless Rescue (The Explorers #2) – Adrienne Kress

Thoughts: How much do I love that the girl is fearlessly exploring, and the boy is falling? Powerful representation of girls, hollaaaa.

11. Sticky Notes – Dianne Touchell

Thoughts: To stand out at his elementary school reunion, he decided to claim that he invented post-its.

12. Max and the Millions – Ross Montgomery

Thoughts: This is just weird for me, because this is totally what my dad and his brothers looked like as kids, albeit slightly less blond.

13. The Science of Breakable Things – Tae Keller

Thoughts: In this scenario, most breakable would be my nose when I dropped the hardcover on it. Trust me, this is not a safe way to read.

14. American Heart – Laura Moriarty

Thoughts: Yeah, I can’t snark about this one. Nothing about current politics is remotely funny to me.

15. The Truth as Told by Mason Buttle – Leslie Connor

Thoughts: Oh man, that is not a name you want to have in elementary school.

16. Mez’s Magic (The Lost Rainforest #1) – Eliot Schrefer

Thoughts: I WANT A MAGIC JUNGLE CAT! (sorry, Percy)

17. A Dash of Trouble (Love Sugar Magic, #1) – Anna Meriano

Thoughts: This is altogether too cute. My heart is melting down into sugar.

18. The Problim Children – Natalie Lloyd

Thoughts: There’s a werewolf on the roof and Peter Pan’s ship busting out of the trees.

19. The 11:11 Wish – Kim Tomsic

Thoughts: *meows approvingly*

20. The Wishmakers – Tyler Whitesides

Thoughts: They did not enjoy the land of the Carebears as much as they anticipated.

21. The Oceans Between Stars (Chronicle of the Dark Star #2) – Kevin Emerson

Thoughts: *swoons*

22. Midnight in the Piazza – Tiffany Parks

Thoughts: I really dislike that font treatment. It makes the whole thing look sloppy.

23. The Sky at Our Feet – Nadia Hashimi

Thoughts: Adorable, and a great use of the reflection. And I love how the brightness makes the splashing puddle look like a sparkler.

24. You Go First – Erin Entrada Kelly

Thoughts: Scrabble, the unsinkable board game.

25. The Last of the Lost Boys (Outlaws of Time #3) – N. D. Wilson

Thoughts: DON’T LET GO, JACK!

26. Into the Nightfell Wood – Kristin Bailey

Thoughts: I want to go to there.

27. Warrior Genius (Geniuses #2) – Michael Dante DiMartino

Thoughts: It really is a genius idea to have your pegasus fitted for a headlamp.

28. Betty Before X – Ilyasah Shabazz & Renee Watson

Thoughts: Super cute. I really like the ribbon title font.

29. Snow Lane – Josie Angelini

Thoughts: Another YA author leaves for middle grade. The snow is always bluer, I guess?

30. Winterhouse (Winterhouse #1) – Ben Guterson

Thoughts: This makes me feel like my teen self, visiting Pemberley for the first time (okay it was only in a book but WHATEVER).

31. Magic, Madness, Mischief – Kelly McCullough

Thoughts: He stole this fire-bunny from the ocean, and the ocean is NOT PLEASED.

Cover Battles:

1. Wonder – R. J. Palacio

US Hardback vs. US Movie Tie-In: It low-level bothers me that they’re not the exact same shade of blue. Neither cover totally lights my world on fire, but I’d definitely go for the hardback.

2. The Island at the End of Everything – Kiran Millwood Hargrave

UK vs. US: Variations on a theme here. I like the way the darker background of the UK cover makes the butterflies pop.

3. An Ember in the Ashes (An Ember in the Ashes #1) – Sabaa Tahir

US Hardback vs. US 2016 Redesign vs. US 2017 Redesign: I do think I like this redesign, but it does feel like something’s missing, though I’m not sure what. They’re like almost perfect but not quite KAPOW AMAZINGNESS.

4. A Torch Against the Night (An Ember in the Ashes #2) – Sabaa Tahir

US Hardback vs. US Paperback: They’re like Sarah Maas’ covers met the de Castell covers.

5. Strange Star – Emma Carroll

UK vs. US: Little purple riding hood!

6. The Unlikely Hero of Room 13B – Teresa Toten

US vs. Australian: The new cover is literally garbage. The hardback definitely grabs my attention more, but it also looks weird, so maybe they wanted something really neutral. Like paper scraps.

7. A Totally Awkward Love Story – Tom Ellen & Lucy Ivison

US Hardback vs. US Paperback: THANK APHRODITE!

8. Staying Fat for Sarah Byrnes – Chris Crutcher

US 1993 Hardback vs. US 1995 Mass Market vs. US 2003 Hardback vs. US 2018 Paperback: I was going to say they could have done better after 25 years, but after looking at the old covers, I have a new appreciation for the redesign.

9. Whale Talk – Chris Crutcher

US 2001 Hardback vs. US 2009 Paperback vs. US 2018 Paperback: These whales, however, are ADORBS. And, seriously, it’s no wonder YA wasn’t really a thing when I was a teen; look how ugly all the covers were. O_O

4 responses to “Cover Snark (240): Snark at the Gates”

  1. 1. Super cute!
    2. Omg that painting is super creepy but I love it.
    8. Like…. I love the models but why is it all green?!
    11. Aww I like the composition of this.
    16. I love jaguars!! Gimmeeeee.
    17. Sometimes I wish I was a kid again so I could discover books like these in Barnes & Noble.
    26. Ooooh I like this! Which reminds me I need to read The Silver Gate.
    3.-4. I feel the same way- I think I’d like if there was a background like the hardcover with a closeup of the character on the new redesign. And again, what’s with the monochromatic bright colors?! Not a fan.
    Morgan @ The Bookish Beagle recently posted…Review: The Simplicity of CiderMy Profile

  2. Shae says:

    Christina, the boy in 25 HAS SNAKES ON HIS ARMS AND THEY LOOK LIKE THEY’RE BITING HIS HANDS WHY ARE WE NOT TALKING ABOUT THIS?????

    • Christina Franke says:

      I couldn’t tell what that actually was. O_O

      I’d expect you to be okay with that, given that you had a GIANT FURRY MONSTER SPIDER for a pet and put it on YOUR FACE.

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