Cover Snark (237): They Both Snark at the End

Welcome to Cover Snark, where the people are snarky and the covers quiver in fear. Since I don’t write many snarky book reviews here on A Reader of Fictions, Cover Snark is my outlet. If you click on the title of the book, where possible, I’ve linked to Goodreads. Clicking on the cover itself will show you the cover in a larger size, in most cases. Feel free to love covers I hate and vice versa. Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

Please note that you should by no means contact the author if you do not like their cover; they likely have ZERO control. Feel free to express opinions of the covers in the comments, but please do not @ an author on Twitter because of anything you’ve seen here.

Shiny and New:

1. R is for Rebel – J. Anderson Coats

Thoughts: Some of the girls didn’t get the message that it was go time.

2. Black Moon (The Broken Trilogy #3) – L.A. Weatherly

Thoughts: If the rebellion’s hope is scorpions, I want no part of it.

3. The Armored Saint (The Sacred Throne #1) – Myke Cole

Thoughts: This is like when Gimli puts on the human chainmail armor in Two Towers. But she looks fierce as hell even dwarfed by that armor.

4. The Nine (Thieves of Fate #1) – Tracy Townsend

Thoughts: Graphic novel style. I dig it.

5. Markswoman (Asiana #1) – Rati Mehrotra

Thoughts: I like the coloring, but otherwise pretty generic. However, with that title and tagline, you have my attention.

6. Robots vs. Fairies – Dominik Parisien & Navah Wolfe, eds.

Thoughts: OMFG.

7. Miles Away From You – A.B. Rutledge

Thoughts: He is slowly turning into a forest from the top down. That must make dating difficult.

8. Artemis – Andy Weir

Thoughts: The Y in his name is a martini glass.

9. Paris Adrift – E. J. Swift

Thoughts: Les Miserable Smog.

10. The Flash: Hocus Pocus – Barry Lyga

Thoughts: Is his symbol lightning? This is just so subtle I can’t tell.

11. Supergirl: Age of Atlantis – Jo Whittemore

Thoughts: I don’t understand why the Batman/Wonder Woman YA covers are gorgeous and these look like this.

12. Sourdough – Robin Sloan

Thoughts: Is this a transubstantiation metaphor?

13. Outpost – W. Michael Gear

Thoughts: Ex-skull-ent.

14. The Uploaded – Ferrett Steinmetz

Thoughts: You can basically see them thinking “aw fuck, do we have to take the stairs?”.

15. Mapping the Bones – Jane Yolen

Thoughts: If you couldn’t guess this was going to be sad, you just need to squint and read the faded text to know for damn sure.

16. The Smoke – Simon Ings

Thoughts: This guy’s covers are all so cool I want to buy the book even though they don’t really seem like books I’ll enjoy. It’s a problem.

17. Head On (Lock In #2) – John Scalzi

Thoughts: *claps* Head off.

18. Batman: Nightwalker (DC Icons, #2) – Marie Lu

Thoughts: That’s one sexy batman. Damn it, he’s a teen. But he’s animated so it’s okay? Oh god. Do not tell me.

19. We All Fall Down – Natalie D. Richards

Thoughts: Spoiler: It’s the plague.

20. Blood and Sand – C. V. Wyk

Thoughts: I thought it was boring, but then I saw the girl, which should have made it more interesting but somehow didn’t.

21. Fix Me – Lisa M. Cronkhite

Thoughts: She looks so distressed that it actually upsets me to look at this cover.

22. The Radical Element: 12 Stories of Daredeviles, Debutantes, and Other Dauntless Girls (A Tyranny of Petticoats #2) – Jessica Spotswood, ed.

Thoughts: I have a minor preference for Tyranny & Petticoats’ cover, but this one’s also delightful. I especially like the colors they used.

23. Hiding Lies (Eleanor Ames #2) – Julie Cross

Thoughts: These look so much like the Brigid Kemmerer Elemental covers.

24. All the Wrong Chords – Christine Hurley Deriso

Thoughts: There’s no need to guitar and feather it anyway.

25. Switch – Kat Helgeson & Hannah Moskowitz

Thoughts: It’s better than the Gena/Finn cover, but I don’t know why you’d keep this style. Or why you’d want to remind people of that book.

26. The Dangerous Art of Blending In – Angelo Surmelis

Thoughts: Covering yourself in sprinkles will not help you blend in fyi.

27. Someone to Love – Melissa de la Cruz

Thoughts: This looks so sappppppy.

28. The Way the Light Bends – Cordelia Jensen

Thoughts: THE SIDE OF HER FACE HAS A FACE.

29. Children of Blood and Bone – Tomi Adeyemi

Thoughts: Fierce AF.

30. Inferno (Talon Saga #5) – Julie Kagawa

Thoughts: In this volume, the dragons begin to molt.

31. Slay (Freya #2) – Matthew Laurence

Thoughts: I can take these zero percent seriously.

Cover Battles:

1. One Dark Throne (Three Dark Crowns, #2) – Kendare Blake

US vs. German vs. UK: And I thought the US snake looked fake. The German cover looks like a GOT poster.

2. The Call (The Call #1) – Peadar O’Guilin

US Hardback vs. US Paperback: A++++.

3. La Belle Sauvage (The Book of Dust #1) – Philip Pullman

UK vs. US: I guess, despite the long wait, this was the best they could blue. Also, I still LOATHE when the series title is larger than the book title because it is CONFUSING.

4. Almost Midnight: Two Festive Stories – Rainbow Rowell

UK vs. UK Take 2?: Okay, so this second cover showed up in a cover reveal post, and I like it better, but I’m not sure which country it’s for so bear with my best guess here (if you know, comment and I’ll update). I did try to figure it out!

5. Godsgrave (The Nevernight Chronicle #2) – Jay Kristoff

US vs. UK: Both covers feature fantastic illustrations and the color palettes on both are amazing. In general, I’d go for the UK probably, but since I know this series, the US cover fits the content way too perfectly for my heart to be anywhere else. Also, it wins on title font.

6. The Last Namsara (Iskari #1) – Kristen Ciccarelli

US vs. UK: Take my money, UK. Also, why the fuck did the US redesign to a more generic, sparkly vampire with a knife cover whyyyyyy. Though I still would want the UK one but COME ON.

7. They Both Die at the End – Adam Silvera

US vs. UK: Mateo, Rufus, you need to jump ship and go into a Becky Albertalli book. I hear Silvera’s don’t end so happily. Where I got that idea, I can’t imagine.

8. Oathbringer (The Stormlight Archive #3) – Brandon Sanderson

US vs. UK: You know, generally I’m in the camp that prefers the US editions of Sanderson, but this one’s amazing in a horror movie she’s-going-to-eat-your-face way. As much as I love the US one (rare, that), it’s a tough choice.

9. Spindle (A Thousand Nights #2) – E.K. Johnston

US Hardback vs. US Paperback: Look at your life, look at your choices.

WTF of the Week:

WTF of the Week began as a special category for one cover I saw, but was so popular it became a recurring feature. Here, I highlight covers, both new and old, that I’ve found, which, upon viewing, made me either snort or say something along the lines of “Dear God, what is that thing?”

1. Thunderlord – Marion Zimmer Bradley & Deborah J. Ross

Thoughts: ‘ll do anything for book cover but I won’t do that.

2. Ghost Maven – Tony Lee Moral

Thoughts: Those fonts are physically painful. And omg the floating face with ship.

3. Cry of the Fish Eagle (Piet Van Zyl Adventures) – Paul Zunckel

Thoughts: That is a pterodactyl.

One response to “Cover Snark (237): They Both Snark at the End”

  1. Shae says:

    The Atheneum marketing department pitches R IS FOR REBELS as “Princess Academy meets Megan Whalen Turner…”

    *squinting Leo gif*

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