Cover Snark (236): The Snark That Remains

Welcome to Cover Snark, where the people are snarky and the covers quiver in fear. Since I don’t write many snarky book reviews here on A Reader of Fictions, Cover Snark is my outlet. If you click on the title of the book, where possible, I’ve linked to Goodreads. Clicking on the cover itself will show you the cover in a larger size, in most cases. Feel free to love covers I hate and vice versa. Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

Please note that you should by no means contact the author if you do not like their cover; they likely have ZERO control. Feel free to express opinions of the covers in the comments, but please do not @ an author on Twitter because of anything you’ve seen here.

Shiny and New:

1. The Poet X – Elizabeth Acevedo

Thoughts: I may not be into verse novels personally, but this cover makes me wish I was.

2. Starlight Nights (738 Days #2) – Stacey Kade

Thoughts: She’s just not that into you.

3. Secondborn (Secondborn #1) – Amy A. Bartol

Thoughts: That tagline font has been used too much and should not happen anymore. Otherwise, it’s blandly fine, albeit reminiscent of a million other covers.

4. The Dragon’s Curse (Transference #2) – Bethany Wiggins

Thoughts: These remain so sad. No dragon book deserves such inferior cover-work. She’s trying so hard to save it with her high cheekbones and strong brow, but the blurry sword, hazy orange background, and massively ugly green scale outfit, it’s just not possible.

5. The Invasion (The Call #2) – Peadar O’ Guilin

Thoughts: Clearly the invasion is by beings of unpredictable limb size.

6. Your Robot Dog Will Die – Arin Greenwood

Thoughts: The hell he will. You touch my robot dog, and YOU will die.

7. Shadowsong (Wintersong #2) – S. Jae-Jones

Thoughts: Break in case of floral emergency.

8. The Pros of Cons – Alison Cherry, Lindsay Ribar & Michelle Schusterman

Thoughts: Scabbers starts a band?

9. The Empress (The Diabolic #2) – S.J. Kincaid

Thoughts: “NOOOO, MY DOVE DISGUISE. DON’T FALL OFF. NOOOO.”

10. More Than We Can Tell – Brigid Kemmerer

Thoughts: What a strange text conversation. They must be writing a story one word at a time together.

11. Starry Eyes – Jenn Bennett

Thoughts: Not completely sold on this but grateful there’s no manipulation of a model’s eyes.

12. You’ll Miss Me When I’m Gone – Rachel Lynn Solomon

Thoughts: You’ll miss be my hair and by my leaf-clogged puddle.

13. The Young Queens (Three Dark Crowns #0.5) – Kendare Blake

Thoughts: This would look so much better without the snake, flower, and poisonous fumes. My god those look fake.

14. Rules of Rain – Leah Scheier

Thoughts: Man I hated when my spiral notebooks got messed up like that. It makes me twitchy even now.

15. I Stop Somewhere – T.E. Carter

Thoughts: Did you stop to look at some wallpaper?

16. Genesis (Project Nemesis #2) – Brendan Reichs

Thoughts: What are those tally marks tabulating?

17. Tempests and Slaughter (The Numair Chronicles #1) – Tamora Pierce

Thoughts: Gahhhhhh, there are too many feather covers. I want better for Tamora. But oh well. I NEEDS IT.

18. The Beauty That Remains – Ashley Woodfolk

Thoughts: Those better be actual cut-outs on the finished copy!

19. Shatter (Glitter Duology #2) – Aprilynne Pike

Thoughts: Fuck corsets!

20. Say You’ll Remember Me – Katie McGarry

Thoughts: A Katie McGarry without hot models on it? I don’t know how to process this.

21. Mick & Michelle – Nina Rossing

Thoughts: The cover bores me but those freckles are gorgeous.

22. Nothing Left to Burn – Heather Ezell

Thoughts: Humans do burn.

23. No Limits – Ellie Marney

Thoughts: No one would dare put limits on a lost Hemsworth.

24. The Queens of Innis Lear – Tessa Gratton

Thoughts: A lot of fantasy covers do this same basic thing, but the hands are in a creepy pose and that crown looks pretty badass.

25. The Wicked Deep – Shea Ernshaw

Thoughts: This looks a lot like something else I can’t remember the title of right now, but lbr it’s pretty.

26. Heart of Ash (Blood and Salt #2) – Kim Liggett

Thoughts: It’s hard to find friends when you have a pollen count.

27. The Prince and the Dressmaker – Jen Wang

Thoughts: I absolutely ship it.

28. Beneath the Sugar Sky (Wayward Children #3) – Seanan McGuire

Thoughts: Above the sugar sky is the doorway to Heaven, which is pretty pissed that the stairway takes all the credit.

29. The Beloved Wild – Melissa Ostrom

Thoughts: That’s her O face.

30. Breaking the Ice (Juniper Falls #2) – Julie Cross

Thoughts: Nerd casting = add glasses to model.

31. Weaver’s Lament (Industrial Magic #2) – Emma Newman

Thoughts: “I worked SO hard on that fabric, and you wear it out into the rain and the mud. NOOOOOO!”

32. Wandfasted (The Black Witch Chronicles #0.5) – Laurie Forest

Thoughts: That book cover clearly says Wand Fasted, perhaps for some form of religious observance.

33. Lost Crow Conspiracy – Rosalyn Eves

Thoughts: Take a mud bath, they said. It’s good for the feathers, they said.

34. The Complication (The Program #4) – Suzanne Young

Thoughts: What an honest title! Adding a new complication to extend this series yet another book.

35. Runebinder (The Runebinder Chronicles #1) – Alex R. Kahler

Thoughts: Oh man does Harlequin ever want that Taran Matharu money.

36. From the Earth to the Shadows (Valkyrie #2) – Amanda Hocking

Thoughts: This font is not great for this many words. It’s cute how they tried to quash that feeling by using another font just for “the.” Didn’t work.

37. Under the Pendulum Sun – Jeanette Ng

Thoughts: Amazingly intricate.

Cover Battles:

1. City of Bones (The Mortal Instruments #1) – Cassandra Clare

US Original vs. Movie Tie-In vs. 2015 Redesign vs. TV Tie-In vs. 10th Anniversary Edition: And I thought the 2015 redesign was cruelly beautiful.

2. The Hanging Girl – Eileen Cook

US Take 1 vs. US Take 2: I do like this title font, but the background’s rather boring, and they got rid of the POC, so I’m not really pleased with this.

3. A Conspiracy in Belgravia (Lady Sherlock #2) – Sherry Thomas

US Take 1 vs. US Take 2: Welcome to the bland side.

WTF of the Week:

WTF of the Week began as a special category for one cover I saw, but was so popular it became a recurring feature. Here, I highlight covers, both new and old, that I’ve found, which, upon viewing, made me either snort or say something along the lines of “Dear God, what is that thing?”

1. Branding Dade (Rough Riders #4) – Tatum Throne

Thoughts: Nothing says “I love you” like a cattle prod.

2. Wade: From the Shadows – Cara Addison

Thoughts: Did he just fall from the shadows of her vagina fully dressed and wearing a cowboy hat?

3. Where the (Blue) Grass Grows (That Healing Touch #2) – Marteeka Karland

Thoughts: Okay, so apparently his penis grows marijuana and he also supports breast cancer research, which is nice.

5 responses to “Cover Snark (236): The Snark That Remains”

  1. Dahlia says:

    Oh wow, I had never seen that Taran Matharu cover but now I am positively cringing at the similarity. That’s so sad because the Runebinder cover is so cool.

  2. Anya says:

    Wicked Deep reminds me of the Noctis Magicae series (https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/29496466-a-season-of-spells) like to the point that I thought it was part of that series ha
    Anya recently posted…Down Among the Sticks and Bones by Seanan McGuire eARC {3.5 Stars}My Profile

  3. 1. I feel the same way, this is striking!
    4. I like it way more than the first book at least.
    6. Why would someone say that?! Pass.
    8. This cover freaks me out.
    9. Moar…. birds…..
    10. I think I like this! Cute in a simplistic way.
    14. I used to be such a good note folder.
    23. Ahahaha he is TOTALLY a lost Hemsworth! Hubba hubba.
    24. Right! It’s basic but somehow still cool.
    25. The Midnight Queen? That’s what it reminds me of. But I like it a lot.
    Morgan @ The Bookish Beagle recently posted…The Hamilton Book TagMy Profile

  4. Hi there! I enjoyed reading your thoughts, your so cool! I am LOL especially on this one Where the (Blue) Grass Grows (That Healing Touch #2) Thanks for sharing!

  5. Hi there! I enjoyed reading your thoughts, you’re so cool! I am LOL especially on this one Where the (Blue) Grass Grows (That Healing Touch #2) Thanks for sharing!

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