Welcome to Cover Snark, where the people are snarky and the covers quiver in fear. Since I don’t write many snarky book reviews here on A Reader of Fictions, Cover Snark is my outlet. If you click on the title of the book, where possible, I’ve linked to Goodreads. Clicking on the cover itself will show you the cover in a larger size, in most cases. Feel free to love covers I hate and vice versa. Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

Please note that you should by no means contact the author if you do not like their cover; they likely have ZERO control. Feel free to express opinions of the covers in the comments, but please do not @ an author on Twitter because of anything you’ve seen here.

No WTF this week because I was so behind. Should be back next week!

Shiny and New:

1. Flower Moon – Gina Linko

Thoughts: Holy shit, I would not have believed this was Sky Pony. Congrats on finally stepping up in cover game! Keep it up!

2. Snow & Rose – Emily Winfield Martin

Thoughts: The subtle horror of their hair defying gravity like Elpheba.

3. Threads of Blue – Suzanne LaFleur

Thoughts: This does not look remotely safe.

4. Skyborn (Thrones and Bones #3) – Lou Anders

Thoughts: Is that a minotaur riding a gigantic spider???????

5. Jubilee – Patricia Reilly Giff

Thoughts: This looks like a perfect way to spend the summer.

6. Patina (Track #2) – Jason Reynolds

Thoughts: This reminds me of the “like a girl” commercial and I have feelings.

7. Little Bigfoot, Big City (Littlest Bigfoot #2) – Jennifer Weiner

Thoughts: Still puzzled by this turn in Jennifer Weiner’s career.

8. Time Jumpers (Five Kingdoms #5) – Brandon Mull

Thoughts: For a middle grade cover, this is deeply unfortunate.

9. The Fourth Ruby (Section 13 #2) – James R. Hannibal

Thoughts: The vertigo is strong with this one.

10. Pick the Plot (Story Thieves #4) – James Riley

Thoughts: Picking the plot of Jurassic Park was a rookie mistake.

11. The Assassin’s Curse (The Blackthorn Key #3) – Kevin Sands

Thoughts: These covers are fine, but I also can only get so excited about them because they’re so similar.

12. The Player King – Avi

Thoughts: This baby king’s advisers must want him dead. Like, “yes, king, you should absolutely lead the charge alone.”

13. Children of Refuge (Children of Exile #2) – Margaret Peterson Haddix

Thoughts: Not sure if this is dystopian, but it looks it and do not want.

14. Hatchet – Gary Paulsen

Thoughts: You know you’ve made it if the book’s so popular you don’t even have to put the title or author name on there.

15. Forest World – Margarita Engle

Thoughts: The tree is slowly consuming the title.

16. Under the Bottle Bridge – Jessica Lawson

Thoughts: Someone leaves bottles under the Bottle Bridge. That’s a bit on the nose.

17. A Little Taste of Poison (Uncommon Magic #2) – R.J. Anderson

Thoughts: This cover looks like the Twelve Dancing Princesses and I love it.

18. Molly in the Middle – Ronni Arno

Thoughts: Must all middle grade cover kids be cooler than I even am now?

19. Breaker Boy – Joan Hiatt Harlow

Thoughts: I absolutely look as stressed out about this as that dog does.

20. Baylor’s Guide to Dreadful Dreams (Beyond Baylor #2) – Robert Imfeld

Thoughts: The least purchased guide of all time. And why does that sidewalk look like it’s made of mega-old gum?

21. Super Max and the Mystery of Thornwood’s Revenge – Susan Vaught

Thoughts: Seriously, why are all the middle grade heroines SO COOL. Don’t you know middle school is meant to be made of awkwardness and zits?

22. Light Years – Emily Ziff Griffin

Thoughts: Massive snore.

23. Cookie Cutters & Sled Runners – Natalie Rompella

Thoughts: THAT PUPPY. Though lbr the puppy would be eating the spilled food.

24. Pumpkin Spice Secrets (Swirl) – Hillary Homzie

Thoughts: Ah, now here’s one that looks like what I’m used to from Sky Pony. That orange border hurts me.

25. Brooding YA Hero: Becoming a Main Character (Almost) as Awesome as Me – Carrie DiRisio

Thoughts: That’s an excellent smirk.

26. Without Merit – Colleen Hoover

Thoughts: I mean they said it first.

27. Out of the Wild Night: A Ghost Story – Blue Balliett

Thoughts: Like, I know I should be getting the creeps but it’s so pretty that I would totally go to there.

28. The Journey of Little Charlie – Christopher Paul Curtis

Thoughts: Warning: Soft Shoulder.

29. Two’s a Crowd (Pug Pals #1) – Flora Ahn

Thoughts: This reminds me of the part of The Sword in the Stone where they turn into squirrels.

Cover Battles:

1. Once Upon a Time in the North (His Dark Materials #0.5) – Philip Pullman

US Original vs. US Redesign: This seems like the set up to a bad joke: A cowboy, a rabbit, and a polar bear walk into a bar…

2. Lyra’s Oxford – Philip Pullman

US Original vs. US Redesign: RH is ready to make SO MUCH MONEY off of The Book of Dust. This edition is totes adorbs though so I can’t be mad.

3. The Lost Property Office (Section 13 #1) – James R. Hannibal

US Hardback vs. US Paperback: This makes me really sad, because, despite the bug, the original was so beautiful, and I don’t feel like the elements of this one blend together at all.

4. His Royal Whiskers – Sam Gayton

UK vs. US: Mad King Fluffkins.

5. Baylor’s Guide to the Other Side (Beyond Baylor #1) – Robert Imfeld

US Hardback vs. US Paperback: Unless these books are massively dark, I really hate this cover change. The art’s nice, but the vibe really doesn’t seem right for middle grade.

6. Silent (But Deadly) Night (Doctor Proctor #5) – Jo Nesbo

UK vs. US: I’ll be over here dying of laughter for years.
+1 boards

7. Tell Me Something Real – Calla Devlin

US Hardback vs. US Paperback: That was a backwards step.

8. Strange Truth (Strange Truth #1) – Maggie Thrash

US Hardback vs. US Paperback: The amount that I don’t get this redesign is a lot. A plain background with neon and some upside-down trees. What about this is meant to be appealing to anyone?

9. Wait for Me – An Na

US 2006 Hardback vs. US 2007 Paperback vs. US 2017 Paperback: It kind of looks like they were taking a test shot and the model was zoning out and waiting for them to be ready but then they were like “we’re done” and she walked away confused. But a vast improvement on the old covers, so hey.

10. The Beginning Woods – Malcolm McNeill

German vs. UK vs. US: I was really impressed with the US cover despite the difficulty of reading the text…but then I saw the UK cover. *heart eyes*

11. Dark Horses – Cecily von Ziegesar

US Hardback vs. US Paperback: Not great, but still a vast improvement.

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