Cover Snark (231): Lights, Camera, Snark!

Welcome to Cover Snark, where the people are snarky and the covers quiver in fear. Since I don’t write many snarky book reviews here on A Reader of Fictions, Cover Snark is my outlet. If you click on the title of the book, where possible, I’ve linked to Goodreads. Clicking on the cover itself will show you the cover in a larger size, in most cases. Feel free to love covers I hate and vice versa. Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

Please note that you should by no means contact the author if you do not like their cover; they likely have ZERO control. Feel free to express opinions of the covers in the comments, but please do not @ an author on Twitter because of anything you’ve seen here.

Shiny and New:

1. The Night Masquerade (Binti #3) – Nnedi Okorafor

Thoughts: These covers are so gorgeous. It almost makes me want snake hair.

2. Busted – Gina Ciocca

Thoughts: Oh look, something new and different: a photographer heroine. And god those fonts are horrendous.

3. Love Songs & Other Lies – Jessica Pennington

Thoughts: Seriously, why are polaroid photos a cover trend? I WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND. How many teens use polaroid cameras? They use their damn phones my god.

4. White Rabbit – Caleb Roehrig

Thoughts: This is why you don’t make dates on CraigsList.

5. A Dragon of a Different Color (Heartstrikers #4) – Rachel Aaron

Thoughts: Easily my least favorite of the covers for this series. There’s something super awkward about this one, and that A on the title is atrocious.

6. Smart Cookie – Elly Swartz

Thoughts: Do not give your dogs chocolate chip cookies, kiddies. Chocolate is poison for doges.

7. Sunshine After the Rain – Daisy James

Thoughts: I would like to go there. Wearing exactly that.

8. Almost Midnight – Rainbow Rowell

Thoughts: A little cartoon would liven this up a bit, but I love the colors.

9. Podkin One-Ear (Longburrow #1) – Kieran Larwood

Thoughts: Off to Zootopia to join the police force.

10. Ghosts of Greenglass House (Greenglass House #2) – Kate Milford

Thoughts: That moment when you realize the pretty background is mostly made of skull.

11. The Vanderbeekers of 141st Street – Karina Yan Glaser

Thoughts: James Van Der Beek’s #1 fans all get a house together. Hijinks ensue.

12. Tru and Nelle: A Christmas Tale (Tru & Nelle #2) – G. Neri

Thoughts: *scratches head*

13. Lights, Camera, Cook! (Next Best Junior Chef #1) – Charise Mericle Harper

Thoughts: RamSAY WHAT?

14. The Heat Is On (Next Best Junior Chef #2) – Charise Mericle Harper

Thoughts: In this competition, egg on your face isn’t automatically a sign of embarrassment.

15. Playing Atari with Saddam Hussein: Based on a True Story – Jennifer Roy & Ali Fadhil

Thoughts: That’s clearly football, but also adorably illustrated so.

16. Tentacle & Wing – Sarah Porter

Thoughts: I feel like she’s playing peek-a-boo with me.

17. Lily’s Mountain – Hannah Moderow

Thoughts: You think you own whatever land you land on.

18. A Sky Full of Stars (Rose Lee Carter #2) – Linda Williams Jackson

Thoughts: A Sky Full of Leaves.

19. Snapstreak – Suzanne Weyn

Thoughts: Somehow the cutting edge technology books always look like they’re trying so damn hard.

20. I Never – Laura Hopper

Thoughts: Just peachy.

21. Ascent (Peak #3) – Roland Smith

Thoughts: Somebody loved Into the Wild.

22. Game Change – Joseph Monninger

Thoughts: Down with football. Up with badminton!

23. A Conspiracy in Belgravia (Lady Sherlock #2) – Sherry Thomas

Thoughts: While I wouldn’t pair that purple cape with the olive dress, I would very much like that purple cape.

24. Auma’s Long Run – Eucabeth Odhiambo

Thoughts: I want to buy this girl some sneakers.

25. The Notations of Cooper Cameron – Jane O’Reilly

Thoughts: Oh deer.

26. The Shanghai Incident (Master Diplexito and Mr. Scant) – Bryan Methods

Thoughts: *cringes*

27. On the Free – Coert Voorhees

Thoughts: *feels strong urge to go to bed*

28. Greetings from Witness Protection! – Jake Burt

Thoughts: This is weirdly cute and amusing looking for something about being in witness protection…

29. In the Country of Queens – Cari Best

Thoughts: Getting clotheslined off a bicycle must be painful.

30. Better off Undead – James Preller

Thoughts: You know he’s wearing a red shirt for a reason.

31. Oddity – Sarah Cannon

Thoughts: LITTLE MONSTERS IN BUNNY SUITS. Did she just use riddikulus on a bunch of boggarts?

32. Open If You Dare – Dana Middleton

Thoughts: Guys, I’ve read this myth, and you’re never going to live this down.

33. Laura Ingalls Is Ruining My Life – Shelley Tougas

Thoughts: So like I’m assuming that she gets sucked into the novels but also she’s a giant in the past.

34. Hellwalkers (The Devil’s Engine #3) – Alexander Gordon Smith

Thoughts: GRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAHOIIHDRRRRRRRRRRR

35. My New Crush Gave to Me – Shani Petroff

Thoughts: The tags look so incredibly fake against that sweater, which looks so real I feel like I could touch it.

36. The Great Shelby Holmes Meets Her Match (The Great Shelby Holmes #2) – Elizabeth Eulberg

Thoughts: That title is such ship bait tbh.

37. The Daybreak Bond – Megan Frazer Blakemore

Thoughts: Sara Bareilles would be proud.

Cover Battles:

1. Hear the Wind Blow: A Novel of the Civil War – Mary Downing Hahn

US Hardback vs. US Paperback: Very intriguing that these look so tonally different and also that the paperback is coming out 14 years later.

2. Devil in Ohio – Daria Polatin

US Take 1 vs. US Take 2: Now with more creeps.

3. The Librarian of Auschwitz – Antonio Iturbe

Spanish vs. Portuguese vs. Czech vs. Italian vs. Romanian US: The US may have arrived late to this party, but it’s dressed to the nines.

WTF of the Week:

WTF of the Week began as a special category for one cover I saw, but was so popular it became a recurring feature. Here, I highlight covers, both new and old, that I’ve found, which, upon viewing, made me either snort or say something along the lines of “Dear God, what is that thing?”

1. Dragons Need Love, Too (I Like Big Dragons #2) – Lani Lynn Vale

Thoughts: The cover’s just weird, even for paranormal. But OMG that series title had me spitting out water.

2. Revelations (Dracones #2) – Sheri-Lynn Marean

Thoughts: All fear the deadly and sexy dragonpine

3. Betrayal of the Covenant (Dragon-Called #2) – Peter Cruikshank

Thoughts: Such realistic Weasleys with baby dragons, amirite?

3 responses to “Cover Snark (231): Lights, Camera, Snark!”

  1. Alexandra says:

    I really want Busted (the second book on the list) to not be sideways. It’s a nice enough image, albeit not particularly memorable, but that orientation – just looking at it makes me twitch.
    And my, MC on the cover of Oddity (#31) is one capable looking kid.

  2. lissa says:

    it’s just sad #16 isn’t about mermaids in hiding which would have been more fun but I really like the colors of the cover

    dragons need love – sounds like someone is in angst mode or maybe begging mode? it just sounds silly to me and the series name is ‘I like big dragons’ – is that like a joke?

    sadly, I didn’t care for any of these covers but it’s fun to see them

    have a lovely day.
    lissa recently posted…Top Ten Thursday: Favorite PlaceMy Profile

  3. 6. I love this cover so much and you know why 😉 BEAGLES AND COOKIES (and plus the composition is cute and I like the teal).
    9. This is cute! Makes me want to read Redwall.
    11. I love this! Charming and good colors.
    15. Most random title of the year?
    19. Agreeeed. They date themselves so fast.
    1. this is a good cover redesign
    Morgan @ The Bookish Beagle recently posted…Mini Review Monday: Murderous Fae and Adventurous GentlemenMy Profile

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