Cover Snark (228): It Had to Be Snark

Welcome to Cover Snark, where the people are snarky and the covers quiver in fear. Since I don’t write many snarky book reviews here on A Reader of Fictions, Cover Snark is my outlet. If you click on the title of the book, where possible, I’ve linked to Goodreads. Clicking on the cover itself will show you the cover in a larger size, in most cases. Feel free to love covers I hate and vice versa. Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

Please note that you should by no means contact the author if you do not like their cover; they likely have ZERO control. Feel free to express opinions of the covers in the comments, but please do not @ an author on Twitter because of anything you’ve seen here.

Shiny and New:

1. The Explorer – Katherine Rundell

Thoughts: This is exactly how Lord of the Flies started.

2. Charlie Numbers and the Man in the Moon – Ben & Tonya Mezrich

Thoughts: Coming soon from Pixar!

3. The Stolen Crown (League of Archers #2) – Eva Howard

Thoughts: Middle grade cover girls are disconcertingly cool. No middle school aged person should be so cool. THESE ARE THE AWKWARD YEARS.

4. The Peculiar Incident of Shady Street – Lindsay Currie

Thoughts: Scary Poppins?

5. Quinsey Wolfe’s Glass Vault (Glass Vault, #1) – Candace Robinson

Thoughts: This is one display you can’t just walk past.

6. How Oscar Indigo Broke the Universe (and Put it Back Together Again) – David Teague

Thoughts: Whoopsie daisy.

7. I Hate Everyone But You – Gaby Dunn & Allison Raskin

Thoughts: Wow, that’s ugly. Just wow.

8. The Whiz Mob and the Grenadine Kid – Colin Meloy

Thoughts: Looks like there are going to be more vocabulary-defying middle grade novels from Meloy.

9. Piper – Jay Asher & Jessica Freeburg

Thoughts: This is a departure for Asher. I guess he’s hoping that the pretty boy’s piping will lure all his teen readers to this new genre and format.

10. The Doldrums and the Helmsley Curse (The Doldrums #2) – Nicholas Gannon

Thoughts: These doldrums are anything but dull.

11. Jaya and Rasa: A Love Story – Sonia Patel

Thoughts: *recoils in horror*

12. Not Your Villain (Sidekick Squad #2) – C.B. Lee

Thoughts: Love the fierce expression in that kid’s eyes.

13. Nice Try, Jane Sinner – Lianne Oelke

Thoughts: Nice cover, Jane Sinner.

14. The Cruel Prince (The Folk of the Air #1) – Holly Black

Thoughts: The font’s pretty fantastic, but it can’t save the cover from the fakeness of everything else.

15. Uncanny – Sarah Fine

Thoughts: It’s truly uncanny how the fake eye color trend never ever seems to end.

16. A Chosen War – Carly Eldridge

Thoughts: Isn’t this the Amity symbol from Divergent?

17. Don’t Forget Me – Victoria Stevens

Thoughts: This is a memorable, albeit impractical method whereby to give someone flowers.

18. It Had to Be You (Brokemore Academy, #1) – Lizzy Charles

Thoughts: I totally ship the cover models, but also the girl’s name in this is EDELWEISS. And she’s bookish. I can’t.

19. The Immortalists – Chloe Benjamin

Thoughts: Just leaf me here.

20. The Speaker (Sea of Ink and Gold #2) – Traci Chee

Thoughts: An improvement on The Reader’s cover, though I can’t say I really get the styling.

21. A Dangerous Year (Riley Collins #1) – Kes Trester

Thoughts: This is a definite step up for Curiosity Quills.

22. Shadowhouse Fall (Shadowshaper #2) – Daniel José Older

Thoughts: While it clearly matches Shadowshaper, I don’t think it achieves the brilliance of that cover. I miss therainbow hair, and the font looks much worse here.

23. The Smallest Thing – Lisa Manterfield

Thoughts: Mind over Hazmatter.

24. Another D for DeeDee – Bibi Belford

Thoughts: DeeDee by Bibi.

25. As She Fades – Abbi Glines

Thoughts: I hate how much I like this.

26. The Midnight Front (Dark Arts #1) – David Mack

Thoughts: Harry Potter, infantryman.

27. The Brightest Fell (October Daye #11) – Seanan McGuire

Thoughts: This is one of those series I love so much that I adore the covers. Pretty sure this is one of the best, though this horror font is truly horrorshow.

28. The White-Throated Transmigrant – E. Lily Yu

Thoughts: That little doll is creepy af. I guess it’s intended to keep the bird on its claws.

29. Elsie Mae Has Something to Say – Nancy J. Cavanaugh

Thoughts: I love that she’s doing the Hermione hand-raise.

30. In a Dark Land (Changlings) – Christina Soontornvat

Thoughts: Perhaps we otter read this.

31. How to Catch a Dino Thief (Dino Riders) – Will Dare

Thoughts: My childhood self would have been ALL over this. Loving the fierce expression from that triceratops.

32. We Can’t Be Friends: A True Story – Cyndy Etler

Thoughts: We used to be friends. A long time ago.

33. Water in May – Ismee Amiel Williams

Thoughts: HARD PASS, TAGLINE. HARD PASS.

34. She, Myself, and I – Emma Young

Thoughts: Noggin with girls?

35. House of Ash – Hope Cook

Thoughts: Talk about your fixer uppers.

36. The Dragons of Nova (Loom Saga #2) – Elise Kova

Thoughts: Kova’s covers are generally on point, but this one really isn’t doing it for me. The blue guy and the weird wallpaper in the background just aren’t working.

37. Ahimsa – Supriya Kelkar

Thoughts: *gives cover high ten it’s asking for and deserves*

Cover Battles:

1. The Beauty – Aliya Whiteley

Unsung Stories vs. Titan Books UK: THOSE FINGERNAILS SKEEVE ME OUT. ALSO, COSMIC FECUNDITY AND FUNGAL WEIRDNESS (WHICH YOU CAN SEE ON THE ORIGINAL COVER AND JUST OH MY GOD WHYYYYYY).

2. Protected – Claire Zorn

Australian vs. German vs. US: It’s sort of remarkable how different all of these covers are. The Australian cover looks like a thriller. The German cover looks like a summery contemporary promising an HEA. The US cover is either a REALLY dark contemporary or dystopian something or other.

3. Unnatural Deeds – Cyn Balog

US Hardback vs. US Paperback: There’s nothing more natural than a moth and a light.

WTF of the Week:

WTF of the Week began as a special category for one cover I saw, but was so popular it became a recurring feature. Here, I highlight covers, both new and old, that I’ve found, which, upon viewing, made me either snort or say something along the lines of “Dear God, what is that thing?”

1. Lyin’ Heart (Grayslake: More Than Mated Universe) – Erika Masten

Thoughts: 😂😂😂😂

2. A Painful Dilemma (Scottish Wearbear #5) – Lorelei Moone

Thoughts: It’s definitely going to be painful.

3. Mrs. Allen on All Fours: Develop the Perfect Relationship with Your Pet – Barbara A. Allen

Thoughts: Oh my dog.

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