Cover Snark (227): Snark from the Funny Farm

Welcome to Cover Snark, where the people are snarky and the covers quiver in fear. Since I don’t write many snarky book reviews here on A Reader of Fictions, Cover Snark is my outlet. If you click on the title of the book, where possible, I’ve linked to Goodreads. Clicking on the cover itself will show you the cover in a larger size, in most cases. Feel free to love covers I hate and vice versa. Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

Please note that you should by no means contact the author if you do not like their cover; they likely have ZERO control. Feel free to express opinions of the covers in the comments, but please do not @ an author on Twitter because of anything you’ve seen here.

Shiny and New:

1. The Unbinding of Mary Reade – Miriam McNamara

Thoughts: C: Mary Reade’s gonna be getting some on a pirate ship.

2. The Calculus of Change – Jessie Hilb

Thoughts: C: How cute is this cover?
G: The limit does not exist.

3. Noah Can’t Even – Simon James Green

Thoughts: G: I can’t even.
C: Squishy penis feels.

4. Just Dreaming (Silver #3) – Kerstin Gier

Thoughts: C: I always wander around ponds in my slip.

5. Another Place – Matthew Crow

Thoughts: G: And at last I see the liiiiiight

6. A Very, Very Bad Thing – Jeffery Self

Thoughts: G: What are they throwing on his face? It’s distressingly yellow.
C: I too was wondering if he was getting a golden shower.

7. Sparrow – Sarah Moon

Thoughts: C: My heart is twittering like a happy little bird.

8. Love from the Funny Farm – Jenny Fran Davis

Thoughts: G: This is a really shit scrapbooker.

9. Subject to Change – Karen Nesbitt

Thoughts: G: If only this cover was subject to change.

10. The Build-Up Season – Megan Jacobson

Thoughts: C: I think she’s supposed to be in a storm, but the water’s only coming down from the tree…??? Is it crying on her?

11. Like Love – Leah Konen

Thoughts: C: My love for this cover is real love.

12. The Gatekeepers – Jen Lancaster

Thoughts: C: Red rover, red rover, send reader right over.

13. A Taxonomy of Love – Rachael Allen

Thoughts: G: I love illustrated adorableness.
C: HEART SWELLS

14. All That Was – Karen Rivers

Thoughts: G: There are too many elements.
C: The tagline also is hard to read and just no.

15. Meet Cute – Various Authors

Thoughts: C: A+ for diversity, but this style of art really doesn’t do it for me.

16. Gertie Milk & the Keeper of Lost Things – Simon Van Booy

Thoughts: C: There are so many different art styles going on here and they just do not fit together.
G: Such a waste of dragon.

17. The Night Garden – Polly Horvath

Thoughts: C: The gate thing has been done so many times.
C&G (in chorus): But it’s so pretty!

18. Monster, Human, Other – Laurel Gale

Thoughts: C: The Others look like the little dust mites in Spirited Away.
G: I ship it.

19. The Great Hibernation – Tara Dairman

Thoughts: G: Another winning middle grade illustrated cover.
C: YA is trying. Give it a chance to catch up, guys, geez.

20. We Are Party People – Leslie Margolis

Thoughts: C: They party to a scale humans cannot handle. Don’t flipper out if you can’t keep up. Fin.
G: This cover does not make a splash.

21. The Incredible Magic of Being – Kathryn Erskine

Thoughts: G: It’s a lot prettier without the marshmallow.
C: But the connect the dots title is so clever.

22. The Witch Boy – Molly Ostertag

Thoughts: G: I looooooove it.
C: I think it’s fab that he’s called a witch, not a wizard.

23. Lost Boys – Darcey Rosenblatt

Thoughts: C: I love this but it’s going to be the saddest thing ever.
G: This is mega super gorgeous.

24. The Secret Sheriff of Sixth Grade – Jordan Sonnenblick

Thoughts: C: *shrugs*

25. The Summer of Owen Todd – Tony Abbott

Thoughts: C: You know if a water cover is by sunset, it’s going to be a sad fucking book.
G: Those silhouettes spell tragedy.

26. The Wolf Hour – Sara Lewis Holmes

Thoughts: C: I love how the wolf got caught picking flowers.
G: I love how she’s both riding hood and the woodsman.

27. Penelope March Is Melting – Jeffrey Michael Ruby

Thoughts: C: This seems like a commentary on global warming.

28. The Quest to the Uncharted Lands (World of Solace #3) – Jaleigh Johnson

Thoughts: G: Why bugs?
C: Even the most ornate and lovely of beetles is unpleasant.

29. Once You Know This – Emily Blejwas

Thoughts: This looks like the perfect little magical realism middle grade cover.

30. Hide from Me – Mary Lindsey

Thoughts: G: Hide it from me.
C: Hilariously, this (ugly) pretty dress cover is supposed to be a gritty book. And omg that tagline.

31. Wish You Were Here – Renee Carlino

Thoughts: C: Every instagrammer in twenty miles would flock to this spot.

32. An Oath of Dogs – Wendy Wagner

Thoughts: G: This is gorgeous.
C: It’s sci FINE.

33. Above the Timberline – Gregory Manchess

Thoughts: C: Dude, that polar bear is about to eat your butt.

34. Sweetlings – Lucy Taylor

Thoughts: G: Those tor.com covers are always lovely.
C: If only people put this much effort into full length novels consistently.

35. Shape Without Form, Shade Without Color – Sunny Moraine

Thoughts: C: You can see my halo (halo).

36. The Crowns of Croswald (Croswald #1) – D.E. Night

Thoughts: G: This is a weird twist on the red light district.

37. A Girl Like That – Tanaz Bhathena

Thoughts: G: Her lipstick is ridiculous.
C: She is altogether too perfect, although she did get a little Jodi Picoult on her forehead.

38. The Ship of the Dead (Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard #3) – Rick Riordan

Thoughts: C: ….Doesn’t that face kind of look like Abraham Lincoln?

39. Piglettes – Clementine Beauvais

Thoughts: C: The pig shade of pink really upsets me.
G: The aesthetics of this are gorgeous but wut even.

Cover Battles:

1. The League of American Traitors – Matthew Landis

US Take 1 vs. US Take 2: C: It’s gone from Hamilton-inspired to…
G: accurately reflecting the future of our nation. Hahaha sob.

WTF of the Week:

WTF of the Week began as a special category for one cover I saw, but was so popular it became a recurring feature. Here, I highlight covers, both new and old, that I’ve found, which, upon viewing, made me either snort or say something along the lines of “Dear God, what is that thing?”

1. Kyle (Legacy Ranch #1) – RJ Scott

Thoughts: C: The forbidden love of Kyle and his horse.

2. The Empty Jar – M. Leighton

Thoughts: C: You know it’s hot when you focus on an empty jar over the sexing couple.

3. Never Lose Hope (Williams & Company #1) – Anne Stone

Thoughts: G: Hope = lost
C: Abandon hope all ye who enter here.

3 responses to “Cover Snark (227): Snark from the Funny Farm”

  1. Dahlia says:

    I’m so torn on covers like SPARROW, because on the one hand, I LOVE THEM AND OH MY GOD THAT COVER IS STUNNING. (I’d also never heard of the book before, and it went on my TBR so fast.) But also, I feel like designers discover this one trick and keep using it. It has a completely different palette from AMERICAN STREET, which is one of my fave covers of this year, but…it’s still exactly the same idea as AMERICAN STREET, and not the only one since. There has GOT to be a way to mix it up a little more than that…

  2. Dahlia says:

    Oh, also love: A GIRL LIKE THAT (I would kill to rock that lipstick that well), WISH YOU WERE HERE (and spot-on comment about Bookstagrammers), THE INCREDIBLE MAGIC OF BEING (totally disagree about the marshmallow, but I’m 9 months pregnant – all food is beautiful to me now), LOVE FROM THE FUNNY FARM, A TAXONOMY OF LOVE (and I am sooo excited for More Rachael Allen, OMG), and THE GATEKEEPERS. Yay designers!!
    Dahlia recently posted…Your First Chapter is a Promise to Your Reader: Great Opening Pages in Diverse YA, by Eric Smith)My Profile

  3. Oh wow the cover for Sparrow is gorgeous!

    Also, I’ve never heard of Meet Cute but now I want to read it, so job well done.

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