Cover Snark (226): Snark, Unlimited

Welcome to Cover Snark, where the people are snarky and the covers quiver in fear. Since I don’t write many snarky book reviews here on A Reader of Fictions, Cover Snark is my outlet. If you click on the title of the book, where possible, I’ve linked to Goodreads. Clicking on the cover itself will show you the cover in a larger size, in most cases. Feel free to love covers I hate and vice versa. Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

Please note that you should by no means contact the author if you do not like their cover; they likely have ZERO control. Feel free to express opinions of the covers in the comments, but please do not @ an author on Twitter because of anything you’ve seen here.

Shiny and New:

1. Ever the Brave (Clash of Kingdoms #2) – Erin Summerill

Thoughts: Ever the SWOON.

2. The Bloodprint (The Khorasan Archives #1) – Ausma Zehanat Khan

Thoughts: I need that tagline illustrated and framed on my wall ASAP. (The cover’s a bit boring and brown but who cares)

3. Jane, Unlimited – Kristin Cashore

Thoughts: We’ve been waiting LITERAL YEARS, and we get a cover that looks like a textbook. SMH.

4. Rebel Seoul – Axie Oh

Thoughts: Why does this already have a sticker? I also wish we could actually SEE the POC. And the buildings. And really anything.

5. The Girl in the Tower (The Bear and the Nightingale #2) – Katherine Arden

Thoughts: *happy sighs*

6. Truthers – Geoffrey Girard

Thoughts: Apparently this is about 9/11 and conspiracy culture. *backs away slowly* TOO SOON.

7. The November Girl – Lydia Kang

Thoughts: Just when you thought protagonists couldn’t get any whiter.

8. On the Spectrum – Jennifer Gold

Thoughts: The spectrum goes from 1 to Eiffel Tower.

9. Winter of Ice and Iron – Rachel Neumeier

Thoughts: Winter has come.

10. Leia, Princess of Alderaan (Journey to Star Wars – The Last Jedi) – Claudia Gray

Thoughts: It freaks me out that she ALMOST looks like Carrie Fisher but not quite.

11. The Temptation of Adam – Dave Connis

Thoughts: A novel about a teen boy’s porn addiction, titled with classic woman-blaming. Fab.

12. Phasma – Delilah S. Dawson

Thoughts: Is that what the mechanical breathing sound is called? Like asthma + phasers or something?

13. Kingdom of Sleep (A Thousand Nights #2) – E.K. Johnston

Thoughts: The title’s lovely, but the backdrop’s like a less gorgeous version of the The Girl in the Tower (above) or A Crown of Wishes.

14. The City of Brass – S.A. Chakraborty

Thoughts: It looks a bit, well, brassy online, but I bet IRL the shininess of this will be off the charts fantastic.

15. Heroine Worship (Heroine Complex #2) – Sarah Kuhn

Thoughts: I love the shit out of these covers, and, based on book one’s cover, this madcap scene probably actually happens in the book.

16. A Skinful of Shadows – Frances Hardinge

Thoughts: Owl need to think about this. I can bearly hand(le) it.

17. After the Fire – Will Hill

Thoughts: The red filter became very popular apparently.

18. Bad Girls with Perfect Faces – Lynn Weingarten

Thoughts: EW EW EW

19. Love & Luck – Jenna Evans Welch

Thoughts: They totally cheated at four leaf clover hunting.

20. Troublemakers – Catherine Barter

Thoughts: Was the choice to shatter a mirror and then draw with highlighters?

21. The Truth Beneath the Lies – Amanda Searcy

Thoughts: Unless you look really closely, it just looks like she plopped a really greasy wig over her long blonde hair and it’s not pleasant.

22. Don’t Kiss the Messenger (Edgelake High School #1) – Katie Ray

Thoughts: Disregard. Do kiss the messenger.

23. Inevitable and Only – Lisa Rosinsky

Thoughts: Mostly I’m just disappointed by how perfect this cover would be for an f/f ship, but it’s about sisters instead. *sighs*

24. The Town Built on Sorrow – David Oppegaard

Thoughts: Hard pass. The profile with the mountain effect is lovely, but the fonts and the background skull make this look shoddy.

25. Showstopper – Hayley Barker

Thoughts: That butterfly with a human face is so much creepier than the skull.

26. Your One & Only – Adrianne Finlay

Thoughts: That’s one way of spinning a yarn, I guess. Though I wouldn’t recommend it.

27. Curses and Warfare – Jeri Baird

Thoughts: What a waste of a horse cover. The fonts, the colors, the art. This is a hard pass all around.

28. The City of Sand – Tianxia Bachang

Thoughts: Dragons have two states: sheer badass or I AM JUST SO HAPPY TO BE HERE.

29. Who Runs the World? – Virginia Bergin

Thoughts: *succumbs to earworm infection*

30. Alice: The Wanderland Chronicles – J.M. Sullivan

Thoughts: The stabbiness is cool, but it’s really hard to read the red font.

31. Us Kids Know – JJ Strong

Thoughts: This hurts me on so many levels. Especially over the girl in the balaclava.

32. All the Forever Things – Jolene Perry

Thoughts: Buttons are so not forever. Just yesterday, I was putting on a button up and then GUESS WHAT SURPRISE MYSTERY MISSING BUTTON.

Cover Battles:

1. A Darker Shade of Magic (Shades of Magic #1) – V.E. Schwab

US Original vs. US Collector’s Edition: Tor wants your monies. TBH, though, I don’t think this looks nearly as nice in black.

2. Avenged (Ruined #2) – Amy Tintera

US Take 1 vs. US Take 2 vs. Australian: Though I’m glad they made the brown of the US cover less poopy, I think I might still go for the Australian cover.

3. Kids of Appetite – David Arnold

US Hardback vs. US Paperback: Tower viewers of appetite. It’s like the cover has been MST3Ked.

4. Our Dark Duet (Monsters of Verity #2) – Victoria Schwab

US vs. UK: Why does the K look like a shuriken?

5. Everything, Everything – Nicola Yoon

US Hardback vs. US Movie Tie-In: I’m not sure about the reflection, and lbr nothing is better than the original cover, no matter how amazing Amandla Stenberg is.

6. The Girl in Between – Sarah Carroll

US vs. UK: In general, the UK cover is more my style, but I do not like the way the text goes around the title at all.

7. Juniper Lemon’s Happiness Index – Julie Israel

US vs. UK: I mean, I like it more than the girl being attacked with confetti, but I don’t like the fonts on a font-focused cover sooooooo.

8. Sleeper – MacKenzie Cadenhead

US Take 1 vs. US Take 2: NO NO NO WHAT HAVE YOU DONE

WTF of the Week:

WTF of the Week began as a special category for one cover I saw, but was so popular it became a recurring feature. Here, I highlight covers, both new and old, that I’ve found, which, upon viewing, made me either snort or say something along the lines of “Dear God, what is that thing?”

1. The Bear King’s Captive (The Bear King #1) – Milly Taiden

Thoughts: Meanwhile that polar bear is like om nom nom tasty treats.

2. Redeemer of the Realm (The Ravanmark Saga #2) – Sandra Miller

Thoughts: That looks majorly painful.

3. Allure of the Gypsies (Legends of Windemere #3) – Charles E. Yallowitz

Thoughts: I think she’s melting.

2 responses to “Cover Snark (226): Snark, Unlimited”

  1. Leah says:

    The Girl In the Tower is SO goregous! I am so ready to return to that world.

  2. lissa says:

    #11 – I thought it said ‘the tempt action of adam’, guess that doesn’t make sense…

    don’t really like these covers much…

    have a lovely day.
    lissa recently posted…April A-Z : X QuestionsMy Profile

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