Cover Snark (223): Before the Snark Breaks You

Welcome to Cover Snark, where the people are snarky and the covers quiver in fear. Since I don’t write many snarky book reviews here on A Reader of Fictions, Cover Snark is my outlet. If you click on the title of the book, where possible, I’ve linked to Goodreads. Clicking on the cover itself will show you the cover in a larger size, in most cases. Feel free to love covers I hate and vice versa. Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

Please note that you should by no means contact the author if you do not like their cover; they likely have ZERO control. Feel free to express opinions of the covers in the comments, but please do not @ an author on Twitter because of anything you’ve seen here.

Shiny and New:

1. The Color Project – Sierra Abrams

Thoughts: A+ project.

2. Rebel Rising – Beth Revis

Thoughts: REVISiting Rogue One.

3. Elektra’s Adventures in Tragedy – Douglas Rees

Thoughts: Spoiler: daddy issues. (Also, holy fuck that font is awful.)

4. No Saints in Kansas – Amy Brashear

Thoughts: I hope this includes the romance between Capote and Perry Smith.

5. The State of Grace – Rachael Lucas

Thoughts: That emoji really sums up my feelings.

6. Girls Can’t Hit – T.S. Easton

Thoughts: The tagline’s fantastic. Pretty sure I also dance like a horse though.

7. Devils & Thieves (Devils & Thieves #1) – Jennifer Rush

Thoughts: Skullduggery.

8. Project Pandora (The Olympus Experiments #1) – Aden Polydoros

Thoughts: Do you want your books to do poorly, Entangled? If not, why would you do this to them?

9. Becoming Betty – Eleanor Wood

Thoughts: Am I the only one who’s thinking about Ugly Betty rn?

10. Stargazing for Beginners – Jenny McLachlan

Thoughts: The fonts aren’t my fave, but the colors and art are lovely.

11. Kaleidoscope Song – Fox Benwell

Thoughts: A rainbow record looks like a knitted pot holder.

12. When I Cast Your Shadow – Sarah Porter

Thoughts: This title is giving me a headache. The cover’s VERY reminiscent of Liars, Inc.

13. The First to Know – Abigail Johnson

Thoughts: I really hope actual teens don’t hitchhike as often as book covers indicate.

14. The Devils You Know – M.C. Atwood

Thoughts: I got so excited thinking Margaret Atwood was writing YA for teens, but yeah no. The cover is nothing to crow about.

15. The Knowing (The Forgetting #2) – Sharon Cameron

Thoughts: These covers are such treets.

16. The Epic Crush of Genie Lo – F.C. Lee

Thoughts: Get it, girl.

17. All Things New – Lauren Miller

Thoughts: What a terrible acid trip.

18. Prince of Pot – Tanya Lloyd Kyi

Thoughts: Too bad they didn’t weed out this cover.

19. Munro Vs. The Coyote – Darren Groth

Thoughts: This is hands down the best cover Orca has ever put forward. Holy shit. Props, guys.

20. Going Viral (The Potion Diaries #3) – Amy Alward

Thoughts: It’s so funny when they put “a whole new adventure” in taglines, like no shit, guys, I thought it was going to be book two with a new cover.

21. Love Is Both Wave and Particle – Paul Cody

Thoughts: I like the nerdiness of the title and the boy.

22. Enigma (Schrodinger’s Consortium #2) – Tonya Kuper

Thoughts: Why they chose this cover is certainly enigmatic.

23. The Right Kind of Rogue (Playful Brides #8) – Valerie Bowman

Thoughts: Absolutely love that it’s her undressing HIM.

24. To the Duke, with Love – Amelia Grey

Thoughts: Her lush red dress would stand out more if they weren’t against a red background.

25. The Scandalous Flirt – Olivia Drake

Thoughts: THAT DRESS. I also am super amused by how she has one slipper, like he came back and Cinderellaed it onto her foot and then they retired to the couch for some sexytimes.

26. Third Son’s a Charm – Shana Galen

Thoughts: Ooooh, they totally stole The Devil in Spring‘s concept.

27. A Man of Shadows – Jeff Noon

Thoughts: If Escher designed book covers.

28. The Cocktail Guide to the Galaxy – Andy Heidel

Thoughts: I drink I like it. Or maybe that’s just the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster talking.

29. Excerpts from a Film (1942-1987) – A.C. Wise

Thoughts: The art on these. I can’t get over it. The fonts are kind of bland but like can you even care?

30. When Stars Are Scattered – Spencer Ellsworth

Thoughts: I pull my feathered hair whenever I see floating cloth.

31. Mental Diplopia – Julianna Baggott

Thoughts: I’ve googled more words I’ve seen on Tor.com covers than I’ve had to in a single book ever.

32. The Overneath – Peter S. Beagle

Thoughts: Clever title and font like whoa. Not quite a unicorn but close.

33. The Emerald Circus – Jane Yolen

Thoughts: Absinthely beautiful.

34. The Broken Heavens (The Worldbreaker Saga #3) – Kameron Hurley

Thoughts: “Did I do that?” says the Worldbreaker.

35. The Bakersville Dozen – Kristina McBride

Thoughts: Still not quite phenomenal, but it does feel like there’s been a significant uptick in Sky Pony cover quality all of a sudden.

36. Before the Devil Breaks You (The Diviners #3) – Libba Bray

Thoughts: Absolutely all of us knew this was coming. And none of us is happy. This cover is assuredly the best of the new designs, though it doesn’t capture the mood or era of the book. Let’s all just pray that they’re saving their best concepts for the inevitable book four redesign coming in 2020 or 2021.

Cover Battles:

1. The Sidekicks – Will Kostakis

Australian vs. US: Okay but do they also kiss each other.

2. Honey Girl (Honey Girl #1) – Lisa Freeman

US Hardback vs. US Paperback: It’s a leap above the hardback.

3. The Diviners (The Diviners #1) – Libba Bray

US Design 1 vs. US Design 2 vs. US Design 3: Of the American covers (the UK and Australia both have some great covers), I’m team original design. That said, none of them is anywhere close to fabulous, which, with so many attempts, is sad. What’s saddest is that this third attempt is by far the worst of them all. That string of ripped in the pearls makes it look like some sort of erotica cover. Seriously, mentally change that background to a more somber palate and it could be a new Fifty Shades of Grey cover.

4. Lair of Dreams (The Diviners #2) – Libba Bray

US vs. Australian: Ah yes, that acid, neon green really captures the 1920s. And that silhouette sure integrates realistically into that misty background. Seriously, as much as I hate the original design for Lair of Dreams (which does kinda fit the book but holy boring batman), they managed to make it worse, which HOW.

WTF of the Week:

WTF of the Week began as a special category for one cover I saw, but was so popular it became a recurring feature. Here, I highlight covers, both new and old, that I’ve found, which, upon viewing, made me either snort or say something along the lines of “Dear God, what is that thing?”

1. APB: Baby (The Precinct: Bachelors in Blue #1) – Julie Miller

Thoughts: What’s more romantic than a man who has stolen your baby?

2. The Wiener Strikes Back (Galactic Hot Dogs #2) – Max Brallier, Rachel Maguire, Nichole Kelley

Thoughts: I will never ever be done laughing about this and how much it looks like that boy is holding a penis balloon.

3. God, the Rod, and Your Child’s Bod: The Art of Loving Correction for Christian Parents – Larry Tomczak

Thoughts: RUN CHILD, DO NOT ACCEPT THE OFFER OF CANDY OR COOKIES.

2 responses to “Cover Snark (223): Before the Snark Breaks You”

  1. Tez Miller says:

    20. The Poison Diaries: Going Viral – Amy Alward

    Interesting to note that the cover blurb by Zoella? Amy Alward edited (and, rumour has it, co-wrote) Zoella’s books.

    Which is almost as funny as James Patterson blurbing his own book, though their situations are different 😉
    Tez Miller recently posted…28th March 2017 ReleasesMy Profile

  2. 1. I love that shiny foil look!
    7. Thieves in general really love birds and crows, don’t they haha.
    9. Super cute! I love that it’s neon but not too bright.
    20. Bahahaha you’re the best.
    33. Ohh not a fan. It reminds me of Sprite and hurts my eyes.
    Morgan @ The Bookish Beagle recently posted…The Totally Should’ve TagMy Profile

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