posted at Friday, March 17th, 2017 at 8:00 AM | Cover Snark, Other Bloggishness
Welcome to Cover Snark, where the people are snarky and the covers quiver in fear. Since I don’t write many snarky book reviews here on A Reader of Fictions, Cover Snark is my outlet. If you click on the title of the book, where possible, I’ve linked to Goodreads. Clicking on the cover itself will show you the cover in a larger size, in most cases. Feel free to love covers I hate and vice versa. Let me know your thoughts in the comments!
Please note that you should by no means contact the author if you do not like their cover; they likely have ZERO control. Feel free to express opinions of the covers in the comments, but please do not @ an author on Twitter because of anything you’ve seen here.
Shiny and New:
1. Speak Easy, Speak Love – McKelle George
Thoughts: *keyboard smash of excitement commencing* [39qyt902yufg90ygh8923yclksd-vp[i0q9why
2. Rise of the Jumbies (The Jumbies #2) – Tracey Baptiste
Thoughts: Time to grab the gillyweed and save these kids.
3. Forest of a Thousand Lanterns (Rise of the Empress #1) – Julie C. Dao
Thoughts: What a disappointment. That snake looks fake as fuck, the colors, don’t really work together, and that font is from The Selection. How about a redo with forest lanterns?
4. The Caledonian Gambit – Dan Moren
Thoughts: Sci fi with covers like this is basically always too heavy for me, but OMG GORGEOUS SPACE AND SPACESHIPS I love these covers.
5. Mabel Opal Pear and the Rules for Spying – Amanda Hosch
Thoughts: That name really doesn’t roll off the tongue. The art’s cute, though the proportions of her face are off despite the adorable freckles.
6. The Hiding Places – Katherine Webb
Thoughts: Dandy-lion cover.
7. Being Fishkill – Ruth Lehrer
Thoughts: Totally not my art style, but it’s definitely artfully arranged, except that I can’t stop laughing at the green blob person in the window.
8. Waters of Salt & Sin (Uncommon World #1) – Alisha Klapheke
Thoughts: The cover art is absolutely lovely, though the title font leaves something to be desired.
9. Behind the Song – K.M. Walton, ed.
Thoughts: Do teens these days know what any of these things on the cover actually are?
10. Windows – Julia Denos
11. Girlhood – Cat Clarke
Thoughts: Cover’s kinda boring; matches are getting to be overdone for “issue” books. But that tagline is fabulous.
12. One Italian Summeer – Keris Stainton
Thoughts: If there’s a book set in Italy that doesn’t have a Vespa on the cover, did it happen?
13. The Guggenheim Mystery – Robin Stevens
Thoughts: Really nifty art style and way of handling the author treatment!
14. American Gods Graphic Novel – Neil Gaiman
Thoughts: What bull.
15. Assassin’s Fate (The Fitz & the Fool Trilogy #3) – Robin Hobb
Thoughts: Could this BEE any more gorgeous?
16. The Legion of Flame (The Draconis Memoria #2) – Anthony Ryan
Thoughts: Flames aren’t too fake looking and a fucking badass dragon, so I am obligated to love this.
17. Watching the Detectives (The Country Club Murders #5) – Julie Mulhern
Thoughts: My brain is convinced this is a Watchmen reference. Like, the owl totally clenches it, right?
18. Say Goodbye to Hollywood – Jenny Trout
Thoughts: Totally get the concept and it’s clever and all, but it’s not exactly a visual feast. And damn I want some coffee.
19. A Court of Thorns and Roses Coloring Book – Sarah J. Maas
Thoughts: You will need to invest in a lot of mayonnaise-colored crayons.
20. Refugee – Alan Gratz
Thoughts: At least you’re not escaping with a tiger?
21. The Afterlife of Holly Chase – Cynthia Hand
Thoughts: Even Scrooge has to approve of this, right?
22. Dare Mighty Things (Untitled Duology #1) – Heather Kaczynski
Thoughts: Looks like it was made with Word Art effects.
23. Before She Ignites (Fallen Isles Trilogy #1) – Jodi Meadows
Thoughts: The model’s lovely, and the forest is lovely, and the silver snakedragon thing is super cool, but put them all together and this is mad awks.
24. One Dark Throne (Three Dark Crowns #2) – Kendare Blake
Thoughts: In the war for most uncomfortable throne, this even beats the GOT throne. Like, sure, swords aren’t cushy to sit on, but like CROTCH SNAKE.
25. Ringer (Replica #2) – Lauren Oliver
Thoughts: If the title weren’t different, I wouldn’t even know this wasn’t just the PB of Replica.
26. Into the Bright Unknown (The Gold Seer Trilogy #3) – Rae Carson
Thoughts: The font treatment on this series is so fantastic, but I consistently loathe the models with explodey firework skirts thing.
27. Monster (Gone #7) – Michael Grant
Thoughts: Portrait of the author as an internet troll.
28. Neighborhood Girls – Jessie Ann Foley
Thoughts: Illustrated covers for YA are ♥.
29. Madness – Zac Brewer
Thoughts: Creeptastic. Not a huge fan of the fonts but that art is absurdly cool.
30. The Dark Assassin (The Starblade Chronicles #3) – Joseph Delaney
Thoughts: This poor, sad little cover surrounded by gorgeousness.
31. Joyride (A Class Novel) – Guy Adams
Thoughts: There is so much attribution happening here.
32. Among the Red Stars – Gwen C. Katz
Thoughts: Here for lady pilots! (And srsly is it the season of illustrations for YA trending??? I HOPE SO.)
33. The Closest I’ve Come – Fred Aceves
Thoughts: Clearly you have to read the book to find out what it’s the closest he’s come to.
35. Now Is Everything – Amy Giles
Thoughts: Outlook cloudy. Ask again later.
36. Good and Gone – Megan Frazer Blackmore
Thoughts: These illustrations make me want to do a sedance.
37. Three Sides of a Heart: Stories About Love Triangles – Natalie C. Parker, ed.
Thoughts: I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE.
UK 2017 Redesign vs. UK Hardback Gift Edition: The hardback edition reminds me of that “this is your brain on drugs” ad where the girl smashed the shit out of some eggs with a frying pan.
UK vs. US: *attempts headstand to look at cover* *falls over* SEND HELP
US Original vs. US 2017 Redesign: It was also the summer she sold sea shells down by the seashore.
WTF of the Week:
WTF of the Week began as a special category for one cover I saw, but was so popular it became a recurring feature. Here, I highlight covers, both new and old, that I’ve found, which, upon viewing, made me either snort or say something along the lines of “Dear God, what is that thing?”
1. Naked Came the Farmer – Philip José Farmer, ed.
Thoughts: Enjoy the double entendre of the title.
2. Full Moon (Secrets of the Moon Saga #3) – Kristy Centeno
Thoughts: My favorite part is how the O’s in moon are clearly the cheeks of that full moon.
3. Mismatched – Lydia Sharp
Thoughts: Well, now I get why romance novels talked about the dude spreading her petals.