posted at Thursday, March 9th, 2017 at 8:00 AM | Cover Snark
Welcome to Cover Snark, where the people are snarky and the covers quiver in fear. Since I don’t write many snarky book reviews here on A Reader of Fictions, Cover Snark is my outlet. If you click on the title of the book, where possible, I’ve linked to Goodreads. Clicking on the cover itself will show you the cover in a larger size, in most cases. Feel free to love covers I hate and vice versa. Let me know your thoughts in the comments!
Please note that you should by no means contact the author if you do not like their cover; they likely have ZERO control. Feel free to express opinions of the covers in the comments, but please do not @ an author on Twitter because of anything you’ve seen here.
Shiny and New:
1. An Enchantment of Ravens – Margaret Rogerson
Thoughts: Clearly this wins all the things.
2. Wild Bird – Wendelin Van Draanen
Thoughts: Priscilla, wild bird of the desert.
3. Too Shattered for Mending – Peter Brown Hoffmeister
Thoughts: If you jump and/or fall off of that, you definitely would be too shattered. So how about you not? Also, these fonts are awful. And I’m not really a fan of the color strips they’re on either.
4. Haunting the Deep (How to Hang a Witch #2) – Adriana Mather
Thoughts: Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Meh.
5. Lemons – Melissa Savage
6. The Last Panther – Todd Mitchell
Thoughts: Genderswapped Jungle Book retelling?
7. The Bone Thief – Alyson Noel
Thoughts: Little Shop of Horrors (And Bunnies).
8. One Mixed-Up Night – Catherine Newman
Thoughts: Well, that’s the cutest room ever. And I ship it.
9. Like Water – Rebecca Podos
Thoughts: Lipstick game on point. It’s also definitely unique, though I’m still deciding how much I like it.
10. The Unlikely Story of a Pig in the City – Jodi Kendall
Thoughts: This is just fucking precious.
11. This Darkness Mine – Mindy McGinnis
Thoughts: This whiteness mine.
12. The Glass Spare (The Glass Spare #1) – Lauren DeStefano
Thoughts: *twitches at how the title font isn’t aligned*
13. Here We Are Now – Jasmine Warga
Thoughts: Not my fave illustrated cover, but the fonts and diversity are fabulous.
14. Top Ten – Katie Cotugno
Thoughts: Apparently Cotugno cover style is white boxes, between this and 99 Days. Blahhhhhh.
15. Foolish Hearts – Emma Mills
Thoughts: The design is once again intricate, creative, and colorful. If only the colors didn’t look like a dog ate a bunch of string and barfed it up.
16. They Both Die at the End – Adam Silvera
Thoughts: Me: LOOK HOW CUTE Also me: Hold on, is the sky a skull? Also me: Oh god and their shadow is a grim reaper oh no.
17. Calling My Name – Liara Tamani
Thoughts: Now this is what I was talking about re: illustrated covers.
18. The Grave Keepers – Elizabeth Byrne
Thoughts: This is the cutest graveyard that ever was.
19. Eight Days on Planet Earth – Cat Jordan
Thoughts: The silhouette cover trend can really end any time now.
20. Waking in Time – Angie Stanton
Thoughts: Either this bed is truly massive or most of her’s awkwardly falling off the bed.
21. Garden of Thorns – Amber Mitchell
Thoughts: Thorns is quickly mounting the list of words not to use in a title. Basically, if it’s been in an SJM title, just leave it be.
22. Vanilla – Billy Merrell
Thoughts: If your vanilla is blue and purple, maybe don’t eat it.
23. Odd & True – Cat Winters
Thoughts: Only the title treatment mars perfection.
24. Echo After Echo – Amy Rose Capetta
Thoughts: That lighting designer has tasted the rainbow.
25. Godblind – Anna Stephens
Thoughts: Holy crow!
26. Far from the Tree – Robin Benway
Thoughts: A+ cover treetment. I cannot leaf it alone.
27. The Princess in Black and the Mysterious Playdate (The Princess in Black #5) – Shannon Hale & Dean Hale
Thoughts: Oh my god, I’m dying, because the kid on the right totally looks like a tiny Mr. Rochester dressed up as a gypsy.
28. The Girl with the Red Balloon (The Balloonmakers #1) – Katherine Locke
Thoughts: Huh, it’s beautiful, obviously, but I wasn’t expecting manga-style art on a book set in late1980s Berlin. That font’s super cheery too. Maybe this book is fluffier than I thought it would be?
29. The First Rule of Punk – Celia C. Pérez
Thoughts: THE SASS!
30. The Silver Mask (Magisterium #4) – Holly Black & Cassandra Clare
Thoughts: In which the kids take on the big giant head.
31. The Glass Town Game – Catherynne M. Valente
Thoughts: YA is trying to bring it with the illustrated covers, and this is MG delivering a smackdown like “bitch, you thought.”
32. The Ravenous – Amy Lukavics
Thoughts: Totally thought this was a self-pub cover for an adult horror/mystery at first.
33. Wedlocked (PresLocke #3) – Ella Frank & Brooke Blaine
Thoughts: That font is hellish, but omg those grooms are so fucking cute.
UK vs. US: Love the title and background, but loathe silhouettes to the degree I’d probably buy the UK over the US cover.
Russian vs. US: Oh damn. The US cover wins, I think, but the Russian cover’s amazing (minus the fonts and the face).
UK vs. US: A valiant effort but like that UK cover.
US Hardback vs. US Paperback: Could this BE any more pretentious?
US Hardback vs. US Paperback: Love this redesign, because it actually looks like a fantasy now.
US Hardback vs. US Paperback: Following standard wrestling advice, they gave it the chair.
US vs. UK: The German cover comes closest, but yeah I’m not hugely impressed with anything happening here.
WTF of the Week:
WTF of the Week began as a special category for one cover I saw, but was so popular it became a recurring feature. Here, I highlight covers, both new and old, that I’ve found, which, upon viewing, made me either snort or say something along the lines of “Dear God, what is that thing?”
1. Whispers in Eternity (Eternity #1) – Jacinda Buchmann
Thoughts: You can play patty cake for all time.
2. Never Fall for a Warlock (Beware of Warlocks #2) – Marilyn Vix
Thoughts: The placement of that two makes me wonder if the reason to beware of warlocks is that they have two penises.
3. Let Them Eat Cake (Creatures of Myth Series #1) – Ravyn Wilde