Cover Snark (218): The Best Kind of Snark

Welcome to Cover Snark, where the people are snarky and the covers quiver in fear. Since I don’t write many snarky book reviews here on A Reader of Fictions, Cover Snark is my outlet. If you click on the title of the book, where possible, I’ve linked to Goodreads. Clicking on the cover itself will show you the cover in a larger size, in most cases. Feel free to love covers I hate and vice versa. Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

Please note that you should by no means contact the author if you do not like their cover; they likely have ZERO control. Feel free to express opinions of the covers in the comments, but please do not @ an author on Twitter because of anything you’ve seen here.

Shiny and New:

1. The Love Letters of Abelard and Lily – Laura Creedle

Thoughts: I find the concept a bit strange (it looks not remotely like a letter but like someone scratched the shit out of those hearts for some reason, and like why?), but oddly I dig it.

2. Red Dust and Dancing Horses: And Other Stories – Beth Cato

Thoughts: Mechanical unicorn = boss. Fonts = boring.

3. At the Bottom of the World (Jack and the Geniuses #1) – Bill Nye & Gregory Mone

Thoughts: I can nigh believe the cuteness. (homophone joke!)

4. Finding Mighty – Sheela Chari

Thoughts: That’s some massively impressive physicality and some beautiful artwork. I don’t think the title font brings things together quite, but excellent overall.

5. Hype – Jimmy Palmiotti & Justin Gray

Thoughts: HIGHpe.

6. Rooting for Rafael Rosales – Kurtis Scaletta

Thoughts: Playing baseball with a fox and a bunny!

7. Bronze and Sunflower – Cao Wenxuan

Thoughts: I’m guessing the boy’s head is shaved on the side, but it kind of looks like he’s got a sweet dye job.

8. Matylda, Bright & Tender – Holly M. McGhee

Thoughts: Generally it’s not a great idea to eat brightly colored reptiles, no matter how tender they are.

9. Yvain: The Knight of the Lion – M. T. Anderson

Thoughts: Looks like Yvain’s going to be battling a tornado.

10. Who Killed Christopher Goodman?: Based on a True Crime – Allan Wolf

Thoughts: That title font being sliced by the papers and shifted slightly at those joins hurts me.

11. Maid in the King’s Court – Lucy Worsley

Thoughts: THAT FONT.

12. The Fearless Travelers’ Guide to Wicked Places – Pete Begler

Thoughts: The strongest criticism I can offer for this beauty is that it’s a little bit difficult to read the author’s first name.

13. Get It Together, Delilah! – Erin Gough

Thoughts: Clearly the makers of those to-go cups needs to get it together too, since it shouldn’t have leaked.

14. Dream Magic (Shadow Magic #2) – Joshua Khan

Thoughts: I ship it. I also ship these spider creatures with death.

15. Xander and the Dream Thief (Momotaro #2) – Margaret Dilloway

Thoughts: Is that a green furry elephant?

16. The Best Kind of Magic (Amber Sand #1) – Crystal Cestari

Thoughts: It’s trying really hard, but ends up looking bland and leaving me with the vague feeling that I read a book with a cover just like this from the tiny teen section when I was a teen.

17. The Pearl Thief – Elizabeth Wein

Thoughts: She steals pearls so she can afford to replace her scarves.

18. The Boy on the Bridge – M. R. Carey

Thoughts: Seriously, just put a small note that it’s by the author of The Girl with the Gifts. The fact that Orbit keeps doing this infuriates me.

19. Crazy House – James Patterson & Gabrielle Charbonnet

Thoughts: How PC.

20. The Lost Kingdom of Bamarre (The Two Princesses of Bamarre #0.5) – Gail Carson Levine

Thoughts: She looks so serene and makes jumping in that get up look so easy. Clearly, she’s a queen. Probably of that lost kingdom.

21. Clayton Byrd Goes Underground – Rita Williams-Garcia

Thoughts: If he’s good at the harmonica, he’ll probably earn some money in the underground. He just needs to put his hat on the ground.

22. Gabby Garcia’s Ultimate Playbook – Iva-Marie Palmer

Thoughts: Love her so much already with her sporty get up combined with a skirt.

23. Zenith (The Androma Saga #1) – Sasha Alsberg & Lindsay Cummings

Thoughts: This looks like a shitty self-pub, not a title that’s going to be receiving a 150K first print run. lols.

24. Haunted – Alexandra Adornetto

Thoughts: I actually mostly like this cover, but I am loling at the fact that this sequel’s coming out years later and as a paperback original.

25. Confessions from the Principal’s Kid – Robin Mellom

Thoughts: Does this school have blackboard floors?

26. The League of American Traitors – Matthew Landis

Thoughts: The League of American Treetors.

27. The Victoria in My Head – Janelle Milanes

Thoughts: I quite like it, but this does make her look a bit like a cyclops.

28. Thornhill – Pam Smy

Thoughts: A Monster Calls. It wants its cover back.

29. Ready to Fall – Marcella Pixley

Thoughts: Of all the things to do an illustrated cover for, HANDS? And this sickly shade of blue with lots of colors that do not look awesome set against it. And the tagline/author font is awful. Just why.

30. The Innocence Treatment – Ari Goelman

Thoughts: Even just looking at this cover stresses me out.

31. Spinning – Tillie Walden

Thoughts: I immediately want to protect the girl with the glasses. Kind of from her cover tbh, though I love the purple.

32. The Equals – Daniel Sweren-Becker

Thoughts: And none for all.

33. The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora – Pablo Cartaya

Thoughts: It’s cute how he’s trying to push the fail out of the title to make it “The Epic of Arturo Zamora.”

Cover Battles:

1. Clade – James Bradley

Australian vs. UK: Bees versus utmost gorgeousness. HMM I WONDER.

2. More of Me – Kathryn Evans

US Take 1 vs. US Take 2: Tricked out title font seems worth the extra work.

3. The Haters – Jesse Andrews

US Hardback vs. US Paperback: The hardback wasn’t bad, but I love this.

4. A Single Stone – Meg McKinlay

Australian vs. US: They’ve removed a LOT of stones on that US cover, but hot damn it wins by the landslide they could end up causing.

5. The Emperor of Any Place – Tim Wynne-Jones

US Hardback vs. US Paperback: Conceptually, I greatly prefer the hardback cover. Visually, I don’t particularly like either.

6. The Girl Who Could Not Dream – Sarah Beth Durst

US Hardback vs. US Paperback: I know which one I would pick up.

7. This Raging Light – Estelle Laure

US Hardback vs. US Paperback: This does up the moody factor. I would probably never pick this one up, but I DNFed it with the original cover so maybe that’s a good thing.

WTF of the Week:

WTF of the Week began as a special category for one cover I saw, but was so popular it became a recurring feature. Here, I highlight covers, both new and old, that I’ve found, which, upon viewing, made me either snort or say something along the lines of “Dear God, what is that thing?”

1. Dark Sentinels Prequel (Dark Sentinels) – Dariel Raye

Thoughts: What a creative title! The wolf is as enthused about this whole cover sitch as I am.

2. When Nothing Is All You’ve Got – Kirsty Dallas

Thoughts: That’s when the totally believably-photoshopped butterflies come, obviously.

3. The Boy with Dinosaur Hands: Nine Tales of the Real and Unreal – Al Carusone

Thoughts: CURSE YOUR SUDDEN BUT INEVITABLE BETRAYAL.

One response to “Cover Snark (218): The Best Kind of Snark”

  1. Jessie says:

    I personally think the cover of “Ready to Fall” uses a very pretty shade of blue. Also, the tag line/author name font contrasts well to the blocky font of the title. The letting go thing in the tag line fits with the hands.

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