posted at Thursday, February 9th, 2017 at 8:00 AM | Cover Snark, Other Bloggishness
Welcome to Cover Snark, where the people are snarky and the covers quiver in fear. Since I don’t write many snarky book reviews here on A Reader of Fictions, Cover Snark is my outlet. If you click on the title of the book, where possible, I’ve linked to Goodreads. Clicking on the cover itself will show you the cover in a larger size, in most cases. Feel free to love covers I hate and vice versa. Let me know your thoughts in the comments!
Please note that you should by no means contact the author if you do not like their cover; they likely have ZERO control. Feel free to express opinions of the covers in the comments, but please do not @ an author on Twitter because of anything you’ve seen here.
Shiny and New:
1. The Prince’s Rogue (Golden Guard #2) – Elise Kova
Thoughts: Never stop using this cover artist.
2. Skeleton Tree – Kim Ventrella
Thoughts: The problem with how gorgeous middle grade covers are as a rule is a perfectly respectable one like this ends up looking subpar.
3. There’s Something About Cornwall – Daisy James
Thoughts: I’m guessing the something is that it’s massively windy in Cornwall.
4. Caleb and Kit – Beth Vrabel
Thoughts: I’m kind of in love with the title treatment, but I have to say to Kit that if he’s ashamed of being your friend he’s not a good friend.
5. Myth of the Maker – Bruce R. Cordell
Thoughts: An alternate universe Rivendell ruled by Anubis.
6. The Woman Who Met Her Match – Fiona Gibson
Thoughts: I sincerely hope someone else is driving this vehicle. Also I’m now growling at this cover, which is about a fat heroine and of course this girl is skinny.
7. Ready to Run (I Do, I Don’t #1) – Lauren Layne
Thoughts: Okay, so I kind of hate this cover, but I am amused that she actually looks a bit like a Dixie Chick.
8. Littler Women: A Modern Retelling – Laura Schaefer
Thoughts: IMPORTANT: DO LAURIE AND JO END UP TOGETHER IN TINY MIDDLE GRADE ADORABLE FASHION?
9. Weave a Circle Round – Kari Maaren
Thoughts: Instaloving on the font and the sparkle. Upside down house is…there.
10. Royal Bastards – Andrew Shvarts
Thoughts: The placeholder looked basically exactly like this, so, while lovely, I’m a bit underwhelmed by the final reveal.
11. Greedy Pigs (Sin du Jour #5) – Matt Wallace
Thoughts: Why doesn’t Boston know where butts are located?
12. Starfish – Akemi Dawn Bowman
Thoughts: Poor Starturtle doesn’t get even get billing.
13. The Switch – Justina Robson
Thoughts: Britain’s Next Top Modelland.
14. The Red Threads of Fortune (Tensorate #1) – JY Yang
Thoughts: Holy shit. That’s the prettiest chicken dragon bird thing (Update: apparently it’s a phoenix; forgive me, I’m dumb.) I’ve ever seen. I mean, okay, I’ve only seen the one but like damn.
15. The Black Tides of Heaven (Tensorate #2) – JY Yang
Thoughts: This guy’s totally grumps because he doesn’t have as sweet of a ride. He just has a cloud.
16. Retribution Rails (Vengeance Road) – Erin Bowman
Thoughts: Excellent companion to the first cover. Boss title too.
17. St. David’s Day is Cancelled! – Wendy White
Thoughts: This guarantees I’ll be spelling “cancelled” the UK way even more than usual.
18. 27 Hours (The Nightside Saga #1) – Tristina Wright
Thoughts: I definitely like the color scheme and the art. The fonts are a bit whelming, and the tagline makes me laugh for some reason. (The reason might be the super deep and dramatic voice I simply MUST read it in.)
19. Satellite – Nick Lake
Thoughts: You’re my satellite. You’re riding with me tonight. Passenger side, lighting the sky, always the first star that I find, you’re my satellite.
20. The Girl in Between – Sarah Carroll
Thoughts: Is she in between illustration and being a real girl?
21. The Breathless – Tara Goedjen
Thoughts: At least we know they won’t release the breaths they didn’t know they were holding.
22. Nyxia (The Nyxia Triad #1) – Scott Reintgen
Thoughts: Not sure if this is meant to be a black hole or icky space goo or what.
23. Beneath the Shine – Sarah Fine
Thoughts: Brings new meaning to “sunflower.”
24. Girl in a Bad Place – Kaitlin Ward
Thoughts: Fuck the woods.
25. This Time Around – Tawna Fenske
Thoughts: This is so close to being fucking adorable, but the execution isn’t quite there.
26. Zero Repeat Forever (Zero Repeat Forever #1) – Gabrielle Prendergast
Thoughts: In Soviet Russia, dandelion sniffs you.
27. The Broken Ones (The Malediction Trilogy #0.6) – Danielle L. Jensen
Thoughts: I love the covers in this series. Her dress is so fucking on point, and that necklace is making one hell of a statement..
28. Hook’s Tale: Being the Account of an Unjustly Villainized Pirate Written by Himself – John Leonard Pielmeier
Thoughts: Decent but not quite enough to hook me. The fonts really keep this one looking pedestrian.
29. The Stone in the Skull (Lotus Kingdoms #1) – Elizabeth Bear
Thoughts: BADASS BLOODY DRAGON.
30. Nutcracked – Susan Adrian
Thoughts: Taking out the patriarchy one grand jete at a time.
31. A Short History of the Girl Next Door – Jared Reck
Thoughts: Why do all of these people have curtains or something only on the lower part of their windows?
32. Release – Patrick Ness
Thoughts: A test: how long did it take you to notice the faces in profile?
33. Genuine Fraud – E. Lockhart
Thoughts: Another blonde heroine, apparently. Albeit one with shorter hair.
34. The Sky Throne – Chris Ledbetter
Thoughts: Zeus doesn’t want to be on this cover, and, god, I can’t blame the dude.
35. Wreck – Fleur Ferris
Thoughts: The cover’s not quite a wreck, but it’s pretty generic.
36. Driven – MB Mulhall
Thoughts: Is anyone else concerned about his disappearing arms?
US vs. UK: It’s the battle of pterodactyls versus dragons and I never knew I needed that in my life.
UK vs. US: This is a major step up from the US cover for book one and a leap up from the UK covers imo.
US Take 1 vs. US Take 2: Well, take 2 is less reminiscent of other covers, and it’s beautiful, but I still love take 1 the best. *shrugs*
US vs. UK: A burning flower. That’s never been done before.
WTF of the Week:
WTF of the Week began as a special category for one cover I saw, but was so popular it became a recurring feature. Here, I highlight covers, both new and old, that I’ve found, which, upon viewing, made me either snort or say something along the lines of “Dear God, what is that thing?”
1. Soul Bound (The Realm of the Claimed #1) – Linda Foster
Thoughts: BUTT WINGS.
2. The Rats of Midnight – Sean Munger
Thoughts: Enjoy this nightmare fuel.
3. Hammer of Thor – S. Evan Townsend
Thoughts: Weatherman falls for lightning god. Report at 5.