Cover Snark (215): The Awkward Path to Getting Snarky

Welcome to Cover Snark, where the people are snarky and the covers quiver in fear. Since I don’t write many snarky book reviews here on A Reader of Fictions, Cover Snark is my outlet. If you click on the title of the book, where possible, I’ve linked to Goodreads. Clicking on the cover itself will show you the cover in a larger size, in most cases. Feel free to love covers I hate and vice versa. Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

Please note that you should by no means contact the author if you do not like their cover; they likely have ZERO control. Feel free to express opinions of the covers in the comments, but please do not @ an author on Twitter because of anything you’ve seen here.

Shiny and New:

1. Amberlough – Lara Elena Donnelly

Thoughts: This cover can make your hands clap.

2. Black Dawn – Mallory McCartney

Thoughts: How rose. Much original. Very fire. Wow.

3. Hiding till Dawn – E.M. Rinaldi

Thoughts: Every paranormal cover ever.

4. The Awkward Path to Getting Lucky – Summer Heacock

Thoughts: A breast of fresh air.

5. Black Bird of the Gallows – Meg Kassel

Thoughts: When he croaks, you croak.

6. Gray Wolf Island – Tracey Neithercott

Thoughts: Is this where all the red shirts go after they die?

7. Quidditch Through the Ages – Kennilworthy Whisp (J.K. Rowling)

Thoughts: Green like the money we no longer have.

8. The Tales of Beedle the Bard – J.K. Rowling

Thoughts: I wonder if the magic rabbit will pull a human out of a hat?

9. The Wicker King – K. Acrum

Thoughts: And then they sacrifice him to bees.

10. River of Teeth – Sarah Gailey

Thoughts: Not the river I would choose to ford.

11. Red Dirt – Anna Jarzab

Thoughts: She does her best justice-planning while she waits for the bus.

12. Ally (Nemesis #2) – Anna Banks

Thoughts: Appropriate or appropriation?

13. Hunger Makes the Wolf – Alex Wells

Thoughts: So fucking badass. She would be friends with the T100 crew.

14. Dark Goddess (Alpha Goddess #2) – Amalie Howard

Thoughts: Model: lovely; fonts: awful.

15. Moxie – Jennifer Mathieu

Thoughts: Ready to uppercut the patriarchy.

16. The Dark Intercept – Julia Keller

Thoughts: Tor’s been stepping up it’s covers on the whole but eesh this is some old school sci fi unfortunateness.

17. 16 Ways to Break a Heart – Lauren Strasnick

Thoughts: This looks more like a cover from the 90s.

18. Two Roads from Here – Teddy Steinkellner

Thoughts: This is freaking me the fuck out. Cute, but wut.

19. The Countdown Conspiracy – Katie Slivensky

Thoughts: Orange you glad I didn’t say spacesuit.

20. Ghost of a Chance (100 Dresses #2) – Susan Maupin Schmid

Thoughts: Looks like the heroine gets a newsie boyfriend!

21. The Trail – Meika Hashimoto

Thoughts: Pretty small bear if it’s right next to the tent, yet somehow still scary.

22. The Half-True Lies of Cricket Cohen – Catherine Lloyd Burns

Thoughts: Cricket has awesome glasses (and that’s all true).

23. Walking with Miss Millie – Tamara Bundy

Thoughts: Check your mg privilege.

24. Tumble & Blue – Cassie Beasley

Thoughts: My brain does not know how to process this title but the cover’s good.

25. Dog Trouble – Galia Oz

Thoughts: SQUIRREL

26. You May Already Be a Winner – Ann Dee Ellis

Thoughts: That font’s gorgeous. Excellent use of electric wires.

27. The Most Dangerous Duke in London (Decadent Dukes Society #1) – Madeline Hunter

Thoughts: A bit puzzled about why the whole cover’s wrapped like a present but that DRESS.

28. Valiant Dust – Richard Baker

Thoughts: How you doin’?

29. Mapping the Interior – Stephen Graham Jones

Thoughts: Tor Adult needs to share this magic with Tor Teen more.

30. The Changeling – Victor LaValle

Thoughts: Changelings come from the land of blue trees.

31. Mischief and Magnolias (Magnolia Branch #2) – Kristi Cook

Thoughts: They did a decent job matching the original, but the whole effect is not as well done. And I swear “mischief” is not properly centered.

32. Bannerless – Carrie Vaughn

Thoughts: Ironically, I don’t think this cover will cause people’s interest to flag.

33. Lost Boy: The True Story of Captain Hook – Christina Henry

Thoughts: Peter Pan becomes Hook too.

34. The Traitor’s Kiss (Traitor’s Trilogy #1) – Erin Beaty

Thoughts: I wonder if The Rose and the Dagger takes this personally.

35. Mask of Shadows (Untitled #1) – Linsey Miller

Thoughts: I have a few slight reservations online but this could be shiny perfection IRL.

36. Tortall: A Spy’s Guide: Compiled by George Cooper, Tortall’s Spymaster – Tamora Pierce, Julie Holderman, Timothy Liebe, & Megan Messinger

Thoughts: Much as I love shiny, this is the gaudy, cheap-looking kind. Really fancy presentation could save this irl, but oof.

37. Dear Martin – Nic Stone

Thoughts: I’m a bit whelmed all told, though the light effects do suggest cop lights nicely (as do the actual cop lights in the background).

Cover Battles:

1. The Roanoke Girls – Amy Engel

US vs. UK: Oh god, what taboo are the breaking?

2. Shattered Minds (False Hearts #2) – Laura Lam

UK vs. US: Blerghhhhh, cheesy overdone eye cover plus shatter effect plus blah font treatments. I am so disappointed.

3. A Court of Wings and Ruin (A Court of Thorns and Roses #3) – Sarah J. Maas

UK vs. US: Damn, that’s some gorgeous mayonnaise.

WTF of the Week:

WTF of the Week began as a special category for one cover I saw, but was so popular it became a recurring feature. Here, I highlight covers, both new and old, that I’ve found, which, upon viewing, made me either snort or say something along the lines of “Dear God, what is that thing?”

1. Update: Removed at request of author.

2. Travel Glasses (The Call to Search Everywhere #1) – Chess Desalls

Thoughts: The glasses can even take you to Lego castles. Or, in this case, to a redesign.

3. Spellbinding (Tales from the Magic University) – Cecilia Tan

Thoughts: The proportions are all wrong. So. Awkward. It actually is a redesign. Unsurprisingly, that one’s funny too.

2 responses to “Cover Snark (215): The Awkward Path to Getting Snarky”

  1. Hi – I was excited to see my cover on your blog…except it’s not my cover, LOL. What you’ve shown was one of the concepts the cover artist prepared that I rejected, pretty much for the reasons you mentioned. Plus the cover didn’t say “time travel” or “romance,” for that matter. I’d love it if you could show the real cover which you can find on Amazon or my website. It’s a beauty 🙂

  2. 3. Bahahaha SO TRUE
    5. Moar bird covers!
    6. Kind of blah :/ Although I am intrigued by the plot!
    9. Looking at this stresses me out, it’s so cluttered o_O
    14. I’m surprised but I like this a lot! I like the texture, colors, and title treatment.
    20. I love this! It’s just as cute as the first cover.
    26. So pretty and creative!
    31. Considering it’s set during Christmas break, I was hoping for a little more from the cover 🙁
    3. LOL. I do love the dress and the green color.

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