Cover Snark (214): All Systems Snark

Welcome to Cover Snark, where the people are snarky and the covers quiver in fear. Since I don’t write many snarky book reviews here on A Reader of Fictions, Cover Snark is my outlet. If you click on the title of the book, where possible, I’ve linked to Goodreads. Clicking on the cover itself will show you the cover in a larger size, in most cases. Feel free to love covers I hate and vice versa. Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

Please note that you should by no means contact the author if you do not like their cover; they likely have ZERO control. Feel free to express opinions of the covers in the comments, but please do not @ an author on Twitter because of anything you’ve seen here.

Shiny and New:

1. The Strange Case of the Alchemist’s Daughter – Theodora Goss

Thoughts: God forbid the title not reference the heroine in relation to a male, but the cover’s gorgeous.

2. Come Sundown – Nora Roberts

Thoughts: OO ER

3. Into the Water – Paula Hawkins

Thoughts: Spoiler: terrible things will happen to the woman in this novel.

4. The Dark Prophecy (The Trials of Apollo #2) – Rick Riordan

Thoughts: Gryphons flying above a horde of helmeted ostriches????

5. In Evil Times (The Imperials Saga #2) – Melinda Snodgrass

Thoughts: Yes to lady in space; meh to the actual cover.

6. The Prey of Gods – Nicky Drayden

Thoughts: The robot holding an umbrella over her is adorable, but I’m afraid she wants to murder me.

7. The Virtual Swallows of Hog Island – Julianna Baggott

Thoughts: More like hug island.

8. The Greenest Gecko – Ploy Pirapokin

Thoughts: I believe I speak for everyone when I say, “wuh.”

9. The Atonement Tango – Stephen Leigh

Thoughts: ABSolutely up in arms over this cover.

10. Extracurricular Activities – Yoon Ha Lee

Thoughts: I wish this guy was facing forward so I could appreciate this art more.

11. Microbiota and the Masses: A Love Story – S. B. Divya

Thoughts: Such romance.

12. The Old Dispensation – Lavie Tidhar

Thoughts: Mr. Burns has been eaten by Elmo.

13. Archangel (Spectre War #2) – Margaret Fortune

Thoughts: Mad sexy cover.

14. And Then We Ran – Katy Cannon

Thoughts: And we raaaan, we ran so far away. We just ran. We ran all night and day. We couldn’t get away.

15. Everything You – Elizabeth McPike

Thoughts: LOOK AT THE LITTLE TIGERRRRR

16. True North (True Born Trilogy #2) – L.E. Sterling

Thoughts: I can’t say this cover didn’t take a lot of skull to create.

17. A Recipe for Romance (Bachelor Bake-Off #) – Lara Van Hulzen

Thoughts: A cooking show for cannibals.

18. Not Now, Not Ever – Lily Anderson

Thoughts: That’s awfully yellow. The various shades clash with each other, and everything but the lovely models is piss poor tbh.

19. Lost and Found Sisters – Jill Shalvis

Thoughts: Golden sands and retrievers.

20. Fireblood – Elly Blake

Thoughts: A song of ice and fire.

21. Anything You Can Do – R.S. Grey

Thoughts: Admiral Ackbar rates this one a trap.

22. A Poison Dark and Drowning (Kingdom on Fire #2) – Jessica Cluess

Thoughts: Drowning in purple paint.

23. All Systems Red (The Murderbot Diaries #1) – Martha Wells

Thoughts: You had me at “Murderbot.”

24. Wishtree – Katherine Applegate

Thoughts: Isn’t Lauren Myracle already doing this?

25. The Tiger’s Daughter (Their Bright Ascendency #1) – K. Arsenault Rivera

Thoughts: Bitching.

26. The Gravedigger’s Son – Patrick Moody

Thoughts: Delightfully moody cover.

27. Horizon (Bone Universe #3) – Fran Wilde

Thoughts: I would marry the covers for this series if I could.

28. Give a Girl a Knife: A Memoir- Amy Thielen

Thoughts: Give a girl a knife and she’ll need to slash some patriarchy with it.

29. Wild Beauty – Anna-Marie McLemore

Thoughts: Take that, Disney!

30. The Black Witch (The Black Witch Chronicles #1) – Laurie Forest

Thoughts: So over feather covers, despite the trees coming out of it. Meh.

31. Here Lies Daniel Tate – Cristin Terrill

Thoughts: And there’s a bit more of him. And there’s his eye over there.

32. Seeking Mansfield – Kate Watson

Thoughts: This is just sad.

33. Off the Ice (Juniper Falls #1) – Julie Cross

Thoughts: Sexy times happen off the ice, because otherwise you get frostbite in weird places.

34. Finding You – Lydia Albano

Thoughts: Always awkward when a YA cover looks like it could be a BDSM cover.

35. The Midnight Dance – Nikki Katz

Thoughts: I swear I’ve seen a cover like this before but it’s still lovely.

36. Berserker – Emmy Laybourne

Thoughts: Stranger Things: Season 5.

Cover Battles:

1. A World Without You – Beth Revis

US Hardback vs. US Paperback: Talk to the left hand, because you ain’t right.

2. Flamecaster (Shattered Realms #1) – Cinda Williams Chima

US Hardback vs. US Paperback: I’m simultaneously totally falling for this and judging it for being such a TOG rip off.

3. Shadowcaster (Shattered Realms #2) – Cinda Williams Chima

US Take 1 vs. US Take 2: It’s a shame because I absolutely loved the first take of this one, but if the covers do the selling, CWC is about to be the new SJM.

4. The Unexpected Everything – Morgan Matson

US Hardback vs. US Paperback: More dogs are superior to less dogs.

WTF of the Week:

WTF of the Week began as a special category for one cover I saw, but was so popular it became a recurring feature. Here, I highlight covers, both new and old, that I’ve found, which, upon viewing, made me either snort or say something along the lines of “Dear God, what is that thing?”

1. No Trouble at All – Lisa Acerbo

Thoughts: Ironically troubles abound, starting and ending with the font choices, but with a bunch of shit in the middle.

2. The Seer – Sonia Lyris

Thoughts: I spy with my little eye: a hot mess.

3. The Girl Who Wasn’t There – K. Morris

Thoughts: SIMSply not good.

3 responses to “Cover Snark (214): All Systems Snark”

  1. Dahlia Adler says:

    The MIDNIGHT DANCE cover reminds me a lot of JLA’s DON’T LOOK BACK, but I don’t even care, I love it.

    I’m obsessed with the cover of WILD BEAUTY – I love all her covers but I’m always drawn to more color, so this one is especially a fave. And is it weird how much I like the Paula Hawkins one?

    And I totally like the SEEKING MANSFIELD and NOT NOW, NOT EVER covers more than you do; at this point I am just so excited when I can look at a cover and not be like “Oh, it’s like this one, but if they did this!” (Plus I am living for the girl on the latter, and I love the theater background in the former.)

    I know it’s not such a Dahlia Book premise (except for the ladylove) but OH MY GOD THE TIGER’S DAUGHTER I NEED IT.

  2. Anya says:

    Wow, I really hope that they do all the Shattered Realm covers in this girl with a weapon style. I loved the old covers, don’t get me wrong, but I just feel so much more pumped about these!
    Anya recently posted…Martians Abroad by Carrie Vaughn {4 Stars}My Profile

  3. Joanne Levy says:

    4. I did not realize those were ostrich heads until I saw your caption. I was like, “What’s with the weird worms?”
    9. Huh?
    11. Very intrigued.
    12. Um, am I the only one who thinks this looks like…uh…Elmo’s mom’s lady bits? Just me? Okay, moving on…
    Joanne Levy recently posted…CRUSHING IT Launch Party!My Profile

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