Cover Snark (213): Snark, Magic, and What We Wore

Welcome to Cover Snark, where the people are snarky and the covers quiver in fear. Since I don’t write many snarky book reviews here on A Reader of Fictions, Cover Snark is my outlet. If you click on the title of the book, where possible, I’ve linked to Goodreads. Clicking on the cover itself will show you the cover in a larger size, in most cases. Feel free to love covers I hate and vice versa. Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

Please note that you should by no means contact the author if you do not like their cover; they likely have ZERO control. Feel free to express opinions of the covers in the comments, but please do not @ an author on Twitter because of anything you’ve seen here.

Shiny and New:

1. Murder, Magic, and What We Wore – Kelly Jones

Thoughts: PRIORITIES ON POINT.

2. The Loneliest Girl in the Universe – Lauren James

Thoughts: ‘Cause baby you’re a firework Come and show ’em what you’re worth Make ’em go “oh, oh, oh!” As you shoot across the sky-y-y

3. I Will: A Christmas Novella (Capital Theatre #2.5) – Lisa Kleypas

Thoughts: Cute shoes and color scheme. I will give this my approval.

4. The Scattering (The Outliers #2) – Kimberly McCreight

Thoughts: Nice touch making the title font look like matches. Saves this cover from being totally generic.

5. Dating Ryan Alback – J.E. Birk

Thoughts: The photoshop work doesn’t look perfect when I look too closely, but omg this is so cute.

6. All About Mia – Lisa Williamson

Thoughts: That one puzzle piece clearly does not belong. You know your puzzle collection is fucked when this happens.

7. The Impossible Story of Olive in Love – Tonya Alexandra

Thoughts: And since folks here to an absurd degree seem fixated on your verdigris…

8. Becoming Bonnie – Jenni L. Walsh

Thoughts: Pretty sure she doesn’t meet a good end, but at least she gets a fab dress.

9. The Wicked Heir (The Spare Heirs #) – Elizabeth Michels

Thoughts: What a believable looking library! Such excellent photoshopping.

10. Duke with Benefits (Studies in Scandal #2) – Manda Collins

Thoughts: The keys to a good romance cover are a sassy expression and a gorgeous dress. This passes.

11. A Stardance Summer (Eternity Springs #13) – Emily March

Thoughts: Looks like a bit of a fire hazard, but I would totally relax in that hammock and pet the cute puppy.

12. Akata Warrior (Akata Witch #2) – Nnedi Okorafor

Thoughts: Oh god, now there is a SPIDER IN YOUR HAIR. I’M AFRAID WE NEED TO BURN IT ALL DOWN.

13. Worldshaker (The Grudgebearer Trilogy #3) – J.F. Lewis

Thoughts: Fontwork’s a bit unfortunate, but badass woman and dragons are yes yes.

14. A Kiss Before Doomsday (Dru Jasper #2) – Laurence MacNaughton

Thoughts: Might as well, right?

15. The Secret Science of Magic – Melissa Keil

Thoughts: oh. em. gee. squee.

16. Spirit Hunters – Ellen Oh

Thoughts: Oh my.

17. Let’s Pretend We Never Met – Melissa Walker

Thoughts: I ship it.

18. June Sparrow and the Million Dollar Penny – Rebecca Chace

Thoughts: She’s looking fierce, and her piggy is smizing.

19. Like a Memory – Abbi Glines

Thoughts: This guy’s totally wishing he was Chris Pine.

20. After the Fall – Dan Santat

Thoughts: Humpty Ever After.

21. Strangers in Atlantis (Seaborne #2) – Matt Myklusch

Thoughts: Don’t think Sebastian was right about life under the sea, perhaps.

22. The Corner of Forever and Always (Everland, Georgia #2) – Lia Riley

Thoughts: Is this how people think Georgia girls dress? I mean, those shoes are straight out of the 90s.

23. The Lady Travelers Guide to Scoundrels & Other Gentlemen (The Lady Travelers Guide #1) – Victoria Alexander

Thoughts: I so very desperately need there to be an apostophe in “Travelers.”

24. The Lawrence Browne Affair – Cat Sebastian

Thoughts: Sexy men snuggling while pretending to be bored. Here for it.

25. Girls Who Code: Learn to Code and Change the World – Reshma Saujani

Thoughts: Very cute and features POC faces. Do approve.

26. The Friendship Code (Girls Who Code #1) – Stacia Deutsch

Thoughts: They can also play football and have awesome style and fun sleepovers. Girls can do everything basically. This is why the patriarchy tries to keep us down.

27. The Sand Warrior (5 Worlds #1) – Mark Siegel & Alexis Siegel

Thoughts: There’s a strong Miyazaki feel to that girl and the city.

28. Reign of Serpents (Blood of Gods & Royals #3) – Eleanor Herman

Thoughts: You’d think gods and royals could afford a more interesting cover.

29. Beauty and the Beast: Lost in a Book – Jennifer Donnelly

Thoughts: Bitches love libraries.

30. The Seafarer’s Kiss – Julia Ember
Thoughts: The really awesome art is wasted by the bland white framing and subpar font-work.

31. Pushing the Boundaries (Off Limits #1) – Stacey Trombley

Thoughts: Interracial romance? *stares intently at the dude’s arm*

32. Mr. 60% – Clete Barrett Smith

Thoughts: Life isn’t graded. Thank Zeus.

33. Cheesus Was Here – J. C. Davis

Thoughts: !!!! It’s really boring as a cover but CHEESUS WAS HERE. GOUDA TITLE.

34. The Merciless III: Origins of Evil (The Merciless #3) – Danielle Vega

Thoughts: *snores loudly*

35. Orphan, Agent, Prima, Pawn – Elizabeth Kiem

Thoughts: It took me so long to put together the ballerina in the text. Oof.

36. The Agony of Bun O’Keefe – Heather Smith

Thoughts: It’s like her parents said “We’ve got a bun in the oven” and decided to stick with that.

37. Birdy Flynn – Helen Donohoe

Thoughts: It’s got to be tough to be yourself when you’re eight million times larger than buildings. How would you even stay fed?

38. Sasquatch, Love, and Other Imaginary Things – Betsy Midredge & Carrie DuBois-Shaw

Thoughts: So Sasquatch is like god and that stupid one set of footprints thing.

Cover Battles:

1. Behind the Scenes (Daylight Falls #1) – Dahlia Adler

US vs. Spanish: Well, that’s incredibly adorable.

2. Akata Witch (Akata Witch #1) – Nnedi Okorafor

US Original vs. US Redesign: Girl, there’s a little something on your forehead. Don’t freak out.

WTF of the Week:

This week I’m featuring some covers that are actually decently put together but that made me laugh my head off for one reason or another. I hope they put a smile in your week. 🙂

1. Full Mountie (Frisky Beavers) Ainsley Booth & Sadie Haller

Thoughts: FULL MOUNTIE FRISKY BEAVERS I AM SO HAPPY

2. Clam Jam – RC Boldt

Thoughts: Clam jam sounds dirty in the not good way, which is a shame because I enjoy the unifying bright pops of red on this cover a lot.

c

3. Hipster Brothel – K.A. Merikan

Thoughts: *giggles endlessly*

One response to “Cover Snark (213): Snark, Magic, and What We Wore”

  1. Ohhhhhh! That Beauty and the Beast book! I’m skeptical but tempted.
    Bonnie @ For the Love of Words recently posted…Stacking the Shelves (159)My Profile

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CommentLuv badge