Cover Snark (210): An Uninterrupted View of the Snark

Welcome to Cover Snark, where the people are snarky and the covers quiver in fear. Since I don’t write many snarky book reviews here on A Reader of Fictions, Cover Snark is my outlet. If you click on the title of the book, where possible, I’ve linked to Goodreads. Feel free to love covers I hate and vice versa. Let me know your thoughts in the comments! Also, keep in mind that I may love some covers I’m snarking. It’s all in fun!

Please note that you should by no means contact the author if you do not like their cover; they likely have ZERO control. Feel free to express opinions of the covers in the comments, but please do not @ an author on Twitter because of anything you’ve seen here.

Shiny and New:

1. Internet Famous – Danika Stone

Thoughts: Swoon Reads just keeps pulling me back in with cute premises and covers.

2. In Other Lands – Sarah Rees Brennan

Thoughts: Place to not wing it: cover design.

3. Bad Girl Gone – Temple Mathews

Thoughts: I’d like this more if I hadn’t read Gone Girl but now that combo of words is poisoned for me.

4. Day of Ice (A Crusoe Adventure #2) – Andrew Lane

Thoughts: Some cool elements individually that come together into a whelming whole.

5. The Backfield Boys – John Feinstein

Thoughts: Football terms always sound so dirty.

6. The Keep of Ages (The Vault of Dreamers #3) – Caragh M. O’Brien

Thoughts: The gold looks nice and ought to be better in person, but these aren’t the most exciting covers lbr.

7. Unraveling (Unblemished #1) – Sara Ella

Thoughts: The cover’s a bit cheesy but also lovely, not that I can feel anything but rage at something called “the unblemished trilogy” from a Christian imprint.

8. Alchemist (Orion Chronicles) – John Barrowman & Carole Barrowman

Thoughts: Being famous does not save you from awkward, ugly covers.

9. No Good Deed – Kara Connolly

Thoughts: Not sure why she’s trapped in concentric circles, but badass heroine is cool.

10. All the Ways the World Can End – Abby Sher

Thoughts: It could totally end with our heads exploding into bright colors. I mean, it’s a possibility. You can’t prove it’s not.

11. The Emperor of Mars (Secrets of the Dragon Tomb #2) – Patrick Samphire

Thoughts: Bluempa loompas versus the toothmonster.

12. Enhanced (Flying #2) – Carrie Jones

Thoughts: Her pom poms should be on fire.

13. Somebody’s Baby – Lurlene McDaniel

Thoughts: More like love story ends and a parenting story begins.

14. Generation One (Lorien Legacies Reborn #1) – Pittacus Lore

Thoughts: I want to believe the covers for these are so consistently boring bc the designers know what a piece of shit is behind this.

15. Toni (Blacktop #4) – LJ Alonge

Thoughts: I’m totally not a sports book person unless there’s a HEAVY romance component but I adore the covers for this series.

16. An Uninterrupted View of the Sky – Melanie Crowder

Thoughts: That looks pretty interrupted.

17. This Impossible Light – Lily Myers

Thoughts: She’s an interesting shape, but predictably I’m mostly a fan.

18. Julia Defiant (Witch’s Child #2) – Catherine Egan

Thoughts: She’s going to burn this place to the ground.

19. The Unlikelies – Carrie Firestone

Thoughts: *tries to eat book cover*

20. And Then There Were Four – Nancy Werlin

Thoughts: Agatha Christie. But less.

21. Trusting You & Other Lies – Nicole Williams

Thoughts: He agreed to a swimming vacation but is now confessing that he cannot swim.

22. Hell & High Water – Tanya Landman

Thoughts: Three hour tour, they said.

23. Breaking (Burning) – Danielle Rollins

Thoughts: Ironically, all this glass looks intact.

24. The Circus – Olivia Levez

Thoughts: I bet it’s even more intense doing those tricks above a pool of blood.

Cover Battles:

1. The Season – Jonah Lisa Dyer & Stephen Dyer

US Hardback vs. US Paperback: Both do capture the book pretty accurately. Both are not particularly eye-catching. *shrug*

2. Remember to Forget (Remember to Forget #1) – Ashley Royer

Original Blink Cover vs. Redesigned Blink Cover: You should be crying, cover dude. The covers are that bad.

3. Resist (Remake #2) – Ilima Todd

Shadow Mountain vs. Simon & Schuster: BLESS THIS REDESIGN.

4. Secrets of the Dragon Tomb (Secrets of the Dragon Tomb #1) – Patrick Samphire

US Hardback vs. US Paperback: He is so impressed by that glowing orb that his gasp may result in him accidentally inhaling it.

5. Love and Other Alien Experiences – Kerry Winfrey

The Studio vs. Feiwel & Friends: They’re making it look more sci fi, which is unfortunate since it’s not.

6. Haunt Me – Liz Kessler

UK vs. US: Clearly this old school style YA cover design will indeed continue to haunt me. We should be past this, US.

7. Mirage – Tracy Clark

US Hardback vs. US Paperback: *sighs*

8. Troy – Adèle Geras

US 2001 Hardback vs. US 2002 Paperback vs. US 2017 Paperback: Why does this new edition look like a coloring book?

9. The Museum of Heartbreak – Meg Leder

US Hardback vs. US Paperback: I’m a fan of the original, but this one may have a broader appeal. Two good covers for Meg Leder.

10. Twisted Summer – Willo Davis Roberts

US 1998 Paperback vs. US 2017 Paperback: It’s not that hard to beat a cover from 1998. :-p

11. Girl About Town – Adam Shankman & Laura L. Sullivan

US Hardback vs. US Paperback: Maybe if we make the dude’s name bigger than the woman’s and also make it look like a contemporary, more people will read this book.

12. Girl – Blake Nelson

US 1994 Paperback vs. US 1999 Paperback vs. US 2007 Paperback vs. US 2017 Paperback: I hope you guys enjoy this trip through the past as much as I do.

13. The Naming (The Books of Pellinor #1) – Alison Croggon

US 2005 Hardback vs. US 2006 Paperback vs. US 2017 Paperback: If I said I totally loved this redesign, I’d be a lyre.

14. The Riddle (The Books of Pellinor #2) – Alison Croggon

US 2006 Hardback vs. US 2007 Paperback vs. US 2017 Paperback: The dogs hate when their owner leaves them tied up while going to get his mead. COME BACK, they howl.

15. The Crow (The Books of Pellinor #3) – Alison Croggon

US 2007 Hardback vs. US 2008 Paperback vs. US 2017 Paperback: Someone’s been taking a bunch of potshots at this crow.

16. The Singing (The Books of Pellinor #4) – Alison Croggon

US 2009 Hardback vs. US 2010 Paperback vs. US 2017 Paperback: SWORD-WIELDING DISEMBODIED HAND RED ALERT

WTF of the Week:

WTF of the Week began as a special category for one cover I saw, but was so popular it became a recurring feature. Here, I highlight covers, both new and old, that I’ve found, which, upon viewing, made me either snort or say something along the lines of “Dear God, what is that thing?”

1. Always Ask a Man: The Key to Femininity – Arlene Dahl

Thoughts: They especially appreciate questions about menstruation.

2. The Duck Shack Agreement – Muriel Jensen

Thoughts: Ever since childhood, Pornstache and BalloonGirl have been meant to be.

3. How to Really Love Your Teenager – Ross Campbell

Thoughts: Either this is really uncomfortable or I’ve been watching too much GOT. No wait, it’s definitely creepy.

2 responses to “Cover Snark (210): An Uninterrupted View of the Snark”

  1. Always Ask a Man: The Key to Femininity hahahaha Oh, 60s.. you crazy.
    Bonnie @ For the Love of Words recently posted…Waiting on Wednesday – Hello, Sunshine by Laura DaveMy Profile

  2. Lesley says:

    9 – I think the concentric circles are supposed to be a target. Which maybe makes some sense?
    Lesley recently posted…Since We Last SpokeMy Profile

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