Cover Snark (208): The Snark Support Group

Welcome to Cover Snark, where the people are snarky and the covers quiver in fear. Since I don’t write many snarky book reviews here on A Reader of Fictions, Cover Snark is my outlet. If you click on the title of the book, where possible, I’ve linked to Goodreads. Clicking on the cover itself will show you the cover in a larger size, in most cases. Feel free to love covers I hate and vice versa. Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

Please note that you should by no means contact the author if you do not like their cover; they likely have ZERO control. Feel free to express opinions in the comments, but please do not @ an author on Twitter because of anything you’ve seen here. Let’s keep it kind.

Shiny and New:

1. The Playbook: 52 Rules to Aim, Shoot, and Score in This Game Called Life – Kwame Alexander
the-playbook-52-rules-to-aim-shoot-and-score-in-this-game-called-life-kwame-alexander
Thoughts: That basketball of words is so cute and clever.

2. The Day of the Duchess (Scandal & Scoundrel #3) – Sarah MacLean
the-day-of-the-duchess-scandal-scoundrel-3-sarah-maclean
Thoughts: She’s bringing sexy back.

3. When It’s Real – Erin Watt
when-its-real-erin-watt
Thoughts: You’ll get a gold star. Love is a lot like elementary school that way.

4. The Breakup Support Group – Cheyanne Young
the-breakup-support-group-cheyanne-young
Thoughts: LOVING all the POCs on this cover.

5. Stand (Southern Heartbeats #1) – Jennifer Rebecca
stand-jennifer-rebecca
Thoughts: Now that’s a sexy cover. That font and that dress and the dancing. Too bad you can’t trust people with two first names.

6. Off Base – Annabeth Albert
off-base-annabeth-albert
Thoughts: More like Getting Off on Base.

7. The World’s Greatest Adventure Machine – Frank L. Cole
the-worlds-greatest-adventure-machine-frank-l-cole
Thoughts: Chitty Chitty Barf Barf.

8. One Shadow on the Wall – Leah Henderson
Thoughts: How did it take me so long to see the giant woman???

9. Magic for Nothing (InCryptid #6) – Seanan McGuire
magic-for-nothing-incryptid-seanan-mcguire
Thoughts: The amount that she looks like she’s just chilling in this situation is impressive. No one should mess with this girl.

10. Hail Mary – Nicola Rendell
hail-mary-nicola-rendell
Thoughts: Raise your hand if you’re horrified at the size of his balls.

11. The Crown’s Dog (Golden Guard #1) – Elise Kova
the-crowns-dog-air-awakens-elise-kova
Thoughts: Kova for self-pub cover queen.

12. Between Two Skies – Joanne O’Sullivan
between-two-skies-joanne-osullivan
Thoughts: *shrugs*

13. Bad News (Bad #3) – Pseudonymous Bosch
bad-news-pseudonymous-bosch
Thoughts: If the news is that they live in a volcano, that really shouldn’t come as a surprise.

14. Unconventional – Maggie Harcourt
unconventional-maggie-harcourt
Thoughts: Adorable. Like, so cute that I immediately want to read this book.

15. Funny Girl: Funniest. Stories. Ever – Betsy Bird, ed.
funny-girl-funniest-stories-ever-betsy-bird-ed
Thoughts: That’s not what they meant when they asked if you could read upside down.

16. Lost in Hollywood – Cindy Callaghan
lost-in-hollywood-cindy-callaghan
Thoughts: The appropriate Hollywood footwear is Chuck Taylor All-Stars.

17. The Jamie Drake Equation – Christopher Edge
the-jamie-drake-equation-christopher-edge
Thoughts: I wish middle grade covers would stop making me think I love middle grade books.

18. The Matilda Effect – Ellie Irving
the-matilda-effect-ellie-irving
Thoughts: Wait, I know all about this because I just listened to Mara Wilson’s memoir.

19. Thanks a Lot, John LeClair – Johanna Parkhurst
thanks-a-lot-john-leclair-johanna-parkhurst
Thoughts: DAMMIT JOHN.

20. Princesses, Inc. – Mari Mancusi
princesses-inc-mari-mancusi
Thoughts: Toilet it go, kid.

21. A Human Stain – Kelly Robson
a-human-stain-kelly-robson
Thoughts: Natalie Portman Meets Zombies.

22. The Thing About Growing Up in Jokertown (Wild Cards) – Carrie Vaughn
the-thing-about-growing-up-in-jokertown-wild-cards-carrie-vaughn
Thoughts: This poor greyhound will never live this down.

23. The Someday Suitcase – Corey Ann Haydu
the-someday-suitcase-corey-ann-haydu
Thoughts: That’s the saddest little snow globe.

24. Best. Night. Ever. A Story Told from Seven Points of View – Jen Malone, ed.
best-night-ever-a-story-told-from-seven-points-of-view
Thoughts: I love these priorities. Seven points of view, and only one dude.

25. The Romeo Catchers (The Casquette Girls #2) – Alys Arden
the-romeo-catchers-alys-arden
Thoughts: Romeo, Romeo, trapped art thou, Romeo.

26. Solo – Kwame Alexander & Mary Rand Hess
solo-kwame-alexander-mary-rand-hess
Thoughts: Based on the crown in the corner, I guess he’s rocKING?

27. Baker Street Irregulars – Michael A. Ventrella & Jonathan Maberry, eds.
baker-street-irregulars-michael-e-ventrella-jonathan-maberry-eds
Thoughts: He’s a brick HOUSE. (There’s a song you never expected to be about Sherlock, I’ll bet.)

28. Lord of Shadows (The Dark Artifices #2) – Cassandra Clare
lord-of-shadows-the-dark-artifices-2-cassandra-clare
Thoughts: He looks like Prince Eric fighting against Ursula, except that the ocean is the air and there is no enemy.

29. Ash and Quill (The Great Library #3) – Rachel Caine
ash-and-quill-the-great-library-3-rachel-caine
Thoughts: As lovely as anything can be while looking like books on fire.

30. The Alice Network – Kate Quinn
the-alice-network-kate-quinn
Thoughts: Totally pretending this is Phryne off to get shit done.

31. We’re All Wonders – R.J. Palacio
were-all-wonders-r-j-palacio
Thoughts: I wonder if Palacio will ever write anything not related to her debut.

32. The Fog – Kyo MacLear
the-fog-kyo-maclear
Thoughts: omg the cuteness of the bird staring back with its own mini binoculars. I’m also in love with this color palette.

33. Anchor Leg – Jack Croxall
anchor-leg-jack-croxall
Thoughts: What with all the space and the suit, I think we could have put together the sci-fi novel bit on our own.

34. The Steam Tycoon – Golden Czermak
the-steam-tycoon-golden-czermak
Thoughts: Hipsters liked steam before it was cool.

35. Everything but the Truth – Gillian McAllister
everything-but-the-truth-gillian-mcallister
Thoughts: At least you’re not with a tiger.

36. Royce Rolls – Margaret Stohl
royce-rolls-margaret-stohl
Thoughts: She has an unbelievably stupid name, but I would like to own everything she’s wearing. Also, I want that rainbow hair.

Cover Battles:

1. Waking Gods (Themis Files #2) – Sylvain Neuvel

waking-gods-themis-files-2-sylvain-neuvel
waking-gods-sylvain-neuvel

US vs. UK: On the one hand, you get an awesome cover. On the other hand, you do not get to have your name on it.

2. Before I Fall – Lauren Oliver

Before I Fall - Lauren Oliver
before-i-fall-lauren-oliver

US Hardback vs. US Movie Tie-In: Underwhelming as the original cover is, I can’t say I like the movie tie-in that much more.

3. With Blood Upon the Sand (The Song of the Shattered Sands #2) – Bradley P. Beaulieu

with-blood-upon-the-sand-the-song-of-the-shattered-sands-bradley-p-beaulieu
blood-upon-the-sand-the-song-of-the-shattered-sands-bradley-p-beaulieu

US vs. UK: The art on both is brilliant, but I’d maybe go UK just because I feel like the font chosen for the US cover doesn’t quite fit with the background.

4. Heartless – Marissa Meyer

heartless-marissa-meyer-original
heartless-marissa-meyer

UK Original vs. UK Redesign: I do not <3 heart lips.

WTF of the Week:

WTF of the Week began as a special category for one cover I saw, but was so popular it became a recurring feature. Here, I highlight covers, both new and old, that I’ve found, which, upon viewing, made me either snort or say something along the lines of “Dear God, what is that thing?”

1. Nympho Librarian – Les Tucker
nympho-librarian-les-tucker
Thoughts: Only if you return your books on time.

2. Taken by the Tetris Blocks: An Erotic Short Story (Digital Desires #1) – Leonard Delaney
taken-by-the-tetris-blocks-an-erotic-short-story-leonard-delaney
Thoughts: OUCH

3. Conquered by Clippy: An Erotic Short Story (Digital Desires #2) – Leonard Delaney
conquered-by-clippy-an-erotic-short-story-leonard-delaney
Thoughts: When Tetris blocks just aren’t doing it anymore. (And, yes, this guy has a lot more. Look on GR if you dare.)

3 responses to “Cover Snark (208): The Snark Support Group”

  1. Dahlia Adler says:

    I am in instalove with the girl on the cover of that Seanan Maguire book.

    Also, super loving the iconic covers of these Kwame Alexander books <3

    And yay for adding a few new ones to my TBR!
    Dahlia Adler recently posted…Ten Books I’ve Added To My TBR LatelyMy Profile

  2. Heather says:

    Yay, another Kwame Alexander book!

  3. Leah says:

    Nympho Librarian is a real thing. My life will never be the same.

    On a more serious note, I’m looking forward to Ash and Quill. The Jamie Drake Equation looks so cute, too!

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