Size Doesn’t Matter (87): Boy Meets Girl; Snow Like Ashes

Size Doesn’t Matter (87): Boy Meets Girl; Snow Like AshesBoy Meets Girl by Meg Cabot
Series: Boy #2
Published by William Morrow on February 17, 2009
Genres: Contemporary, Humor, Romance
Pages: 400
Format: Paperback
Source: Purchased
AmazonThe Book Depository
Goodreads
three-half-stars

Meet Kate Mackenzie. She:
-works for the T.O.D. (Short for Tryannical Office Despot, also known as Amy Jenkins, Director of the Human Resources Divison at the New York Journal),
- Is sleeping on the couch because her boyfriend of 10 years refuses to commit,
-cant find an affordable studio apartment anywhere in New York City,
-thinks things cant get worse
They Can. Because
-the T.O.D is making her fire the most popular employee in the paper's senior staff dinning room,
-that employee is now suing Kate for wrongful termination, and
-Kate has to give a deposition in front of Mitch Hertzog, the scoin of one of Manhattan's wealthiest law families, who embraces everything Kate most despises...but also happenes to have a nice smile and a killer body!

The last thing anybody-least of all Kate Mackenzie- expects to find in a legal abritration is love. But that's the kind of thing that can happen when...Boy Meets Girl!

As long as the book’s funny and light-hearted, Meg Cabot doesn’t go too wrong. Keep that in mind when I say Boy Meets Girl isn’t my favorite of hers. I mean, I’ll still reread it throughout my life, because when you read the good Cabot books, your day is better.

The reason this one didn’t work quite as well for me is that the ship wasn’t anything special. Mitchell and Kate instalove on one another. The short time span of the book is problematic, given that they move in together at the end and Mitch is already thinking marriage. But it could have worked, except they barely spent any time together during the book.

Cabot did make a good adjustment to the format of the Boy series with this one. In The Boy Next Door, the documents used were only emails and official documents, but here she adds in journal entries, notes scribbled on things like receipts, and phone messages. The email formatting is also more legit.

Towards the end, leaving a bad taste in my mouth, Amy and Stuart, the villains of the piece, get genetically tested before getting married and having children. This test reveals that Stuart has Jewish heritage and the anti-semitism of their response is not something I expected here. Yes, the book’s clearly judging them for that and their horrid response to the youngest Hertzog coming out as a lesbian but eesh still not pleasant to read. There are also a couple of outdated, offensive references to transgender people.

Fun like you can always expect from Meg Cabot but not her shippiest work and you have to read way more Stuart and Amy than anyone should ever have to.

Tl;dr – Review in a GIFfy:

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Size Doesn’t Matter (87): Boy Meets Girl; Snow Like AshesSnow Like Ashes by Sara Raasch
Series: Snow Like Ashes #1
Published by Balzer + Bray on October 14, 2014
Genres: Fantasy
Pages: 416
Format: Hardcover
Source: Borrowed
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Goodreads
half-star

A heartbroken girl. A fierce warrior. A hero in the making.

Sixteen years ago the Kingdom of Winter was conquered and its citizens enslaved, leaving them without magic or a monarch. Now, the Winterians’ only hope for freedom is the eight survivors who managed to escape, and who have been waiting for the opportunity to steal back Winter’s magic and rebuild the kingdom ever since.

Orphaned as an infant during Winter’s defeat, Meira has lived her whole life as a refugee, raised by the Winterians’ general, Sir. Training to be a warrior—and desperately in love with her best friend, and future king, Mather — she would do anything to help her kingdom rise to power again.

So when scouts discover the location of the ancient locket that can restore Winter’s magic, Meira decides to go after it herself. Finally, she’s scaling towers, fighting enemy soldiers, and serving her kingdom just as she’s always dreamed she would. But the mission doesn’t go as planned, and Meira soon finds herself thrust into a world of evil magic and dangerous politics – and ultimately comes to realize that her destiny is not, never has been, her own.

I want you guys to listen closely and know that I mean it when I say: Snow Like Ashes is one of the worst books I’ve ever had the misfortune to read from cover to cover. In general, I try not to say that books are bad, but this one really is, in every respect. The writing, the world building, the plot and the characters are all terrible, but especially the writing. Reading Snow Like Ashes, I was actually constantly struck by how much better The Selection was. That’s how fucking awful this book is.

Raasch started this book when she was 12. It shows. What doesn’t show is all the editing and rewriting it supposedly got. I would one hundred percent believe they just blew the dust off the floppy disk this was on, formatted it for publication, and printed this shit out.

I’m sure that sounds incredibly cruel, but I’ve never read movement described as “flying” so many fucking times in a single book. There are so many other words for moving at a swift pace, ones that don’t make it seem like all your characters are soaring through the air. Expect people to cock their brows a million times too. And to get several references to adrenaline, which really makes perfect sense in a medievalish fantasy world.

Raasch’s writing is so repetitive, both in diction and subject matter. Meira doesn’t have a single thought that she doesn’t repeat. Generally many more times than just once. It’s excruciating, since her thoughts weren’t interesting the first time. Snow Like Ashes routinely repeats infodumps and re-covers territory. Picture me reading this book and yelling “WE KNOW. YOU JUST FUCKING TOLD US THAT.” over and over. If all the repetition of content was removed, I suspect this book would easily be half the length.

Meanwhile, there’s almost no dialog in this book. It’s mostly just Meira trying to think, and good lord save me from the idiocy of Meira. It would be fine if the plot were more complex and she was reasoning things that weren’t obvious from the very first pages, but no. Meira’s grand revelation comes about 300 pages in, and the reader knew from the start. Doing this always makes the main character seem like a total idiot, and it doesn’t help when the MC alternates between saying she will do ANYTHING for Winter and then whining about what she’s asked to do for Winter and how unfair it is.

Oh right, Winter. The Rhythm kingdoms and the Season kingdoms. That’s some shit. I can’t even expend the energy on this shit. And of course the heroes are the white haired, whiter-than-milk Winterians and the evil dudes are from Spring and are darker skinned. Like, fucking of course.

I need some serious brain bleach. Do not read this. Spare your brain cells. It took me a full month to read Snow Like Ashes. That is unprecedented. And in case you’re like “why did you read this, Christina?”, it was because somebody made me. Ain’t friends grand?

Tl;dr – Review in a GIFfy:

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2 responses to “Size Doesn’t Matter (87): Boy Meets Girl; Snow Like Ashes”

  1. Michelle Roberts says:

    I tried reading SNOW LIKE ASHES when it first came out. The author lived just a couple hours from my hometown. Then I found out that she literally took the name of my hometown and dropped one of the letters and called it a country . . .

  2. The Evil Friend says:

    *whistles*

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