Cover Snark (201): One of Us Is Snarking

Welcome to Cover Snark, where the people are snarky and the covers quiver in fear. Since I don’t write many snarky book reviews here on A Reader of Fictions, Cover Snark is my outlet. If you click on the title of the book, where possible, I’ve linked to Goodreads. Clicking on the cover itself will show you the cover in a larger size, in most cases. Feel free to love covers I hate and vice versa. Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

Please note that you should by no means contact the author if you do not like their cover; they likely have ZERO control. Feel free to express opinions in the comments, but please do not @ an author on Twitter because of anything you’ve seen here. Let’s keep it kind.

Shiny and New:

1. Little & Lion – Brandy Colbert
little-lion-brandy-colbert
Thoughts: I’m in love with the font colors. So much so that I can’t question whether I like the fonts or the background. Just leave me here with these colors.

2. Ferocious (Vicarious #2) – Paula Stokes
ferocious-paula-stokes
Thoughts: Her eyes glow out of the shadows on her face and holy shit is that creeptastic.

3. One Of Us Is Lying – Karen McManus
one-of-us-is-lying-karen-mcmanus
Thoughts: All of us are notebooks masquerading as people.

4. Beanstalker and Other Hilarious Scarytales – Kiersten White
beanstalker-and-other-hilarious-scarytales-kiersten-white
Thoughts: That Little Red Riding Hood is almost enough to make you feel bad for the Big Bad Wolf.

5. Cold Counsel – Chris Sharp
cold-counsel-chris-sharp
Thoughts: GRAAAAAAR

6. The Massacre of Mankind – Stephen Baxter
the-massacre-of-mankind-stephen-baxter
Thoughts: HOW RUDE.

7. Forever Geek (Geek Girl #6) – Holly Smale
forever-geek-geek-girl-6-holly-smale
Thoughts: What an awkward mouth shape.

8. Say No to the Bro – Kat Helgeson
say-no-to-the-bro-kat-helgeson
Thoughts: Always a good life policy.

9. Brother’s Ruin (Brother’s Ruin #1) – Emma Newman
brothers-ruin-emma-newman
Thoughts: DOWN WITH THE PATRIARCHY.

10. The Story of Kao Yu – Peter S. Beagle
the-story-of-kao-yu-peter-s-beagle
Thoughts: Damn, but tor.com does art right.

11. Passing Strange – Ellen Klages
passing-strange-ellen-klages
Thoughts: Illustration of a still from a Taylor Swift video.

12. Buffalo Soldier – Maurice Broaddus
buffalo-soldier-maurice-broaddus
Thoughts: Hot damn.

13. Riveted (Saints of Denver #3) – Jay Crownover
riveted-saints-of-denver-jay-crownover
Thoughts: The cover may not be great, but that man’s cheekbones and stubble do things to me. I mean he looks like Theo James.

14. The Witch’s Tears (The Witch’s Kiss #2) – Katharine & Elizabeth Corr
the-witchs-tears-katharine-elizabath-corr
Thoughts: Accurate depiction of my heart.

15. Lucky in Love – Kasie West
lucky-in-love-kasie-west
Thoughts: Doesn’t really have the pop of some of the Kasie West covers, but carousel and interracial couple = I’ll take it.

16. Bad Guy – Hannah Barnaby
bad-guy-hannah-barnaby
Thoughts: Maximum badness only achieved by those with cat sidekicks. Bonus points if they’re white.

17. Tash Hearts Tolstoy – Kathryn Ormsbee
tash-hearts-tolstoy-kathryn-ormsbee
Thoughts: Tolstoy would be so pissed.

18. From Duke Till Dawn (The London Underground #1) – Eva Leigh
from-duke-till-dawn-eva-leigh
Thoughts: Punny romance titles = my fave.

19. This Is Just a Test – Madelyn Rosenberg & Wendy Wan-Long Shang
this-is-just-a-test-madelyn-rosenberg-wendy-wan-long-shang
Thoughts: Anyone else thinking of Holes?

20. Another Word for Happy – Agay Llanera
another-word-for-happy-agay-llanera
Thoughts: Look at that adorable polkadot bowtie.

21. Aftercare Instructions – Bonnie Pipkin
aftercare-instructions-bonnie-pipkin
Thoughts: Man, this looks like the cover for some boring, pretentious adult novel.

22. The Opposite of Ordinary – Jessica Sorensen
the-opposite-of-ordinary-jessica-sorensen
Thoughts: Whimsy fail.

23. Violet Grenade – Victoria Scott
violet-grenade-victoria-scott
Thoughts: “Thanks for this bouquet! Wait, why are you running away…?” *explodes*

24. The Wood – Chelsea Bobulski
the-wood-chelsea-bobulski
Thoughts: I wood not like to visit this bloody place.

25. Thirteen Rising (Zodiac #4) – Romina Russell
thirteen-rising-romina-russel
Thoughts: More amorphous clouds. Oh boy.

26. Tiger’s Watch (Ashes of Gold #1) – Julia Ember
tigers-watch-julia-ember
Thoughts: The fonts do not do this cover any favors.

27. Vanguard (Razorland) – Ann Aguirre
vanguard-ann-aguirre
Thoughts: Looks pretty cool, though I’m not sure why a compass is all chained up.

28. Proof of Lies (Anastasia Phoenix #1) – Diana Wallach Rodriguez
proof-of-lies-diana-wallach-rodriguez
Thoughts: *Takes normal picture of a girl walking in a city and adds dark filters and fucktons of lensflare*

29. Ashes of Fire (Woodwalker #2) – Emily B. Martin
ashes-of-fire-emily-b-martin
Thoughts: Martin illustrated her own cover, which basically means she has an unfair amount of talent.

30. The Fireproof Girl – Loretta Lost
the-fire-proof-girl-loretta-lost
Thoughts: Looks like a historical fiction novel about a survivor of the Triangle Shirtwaist fire. Is not that.

31. Because You Love to Hate Me: 13 Tales of Villainy – Ameriie, ed.
because-you-love-to-hate-me-ameriie
Thoughts: I’m pretty over the cover flower trend, but the color palette breathes new life into an otherwise unoriginal cover.

32. Refuge for Masterminds (Stranje House #3) – Kathleen Baldwin
refuge-for-masterminds-stranje-house-3-kathleen-baldwin
Thoughts: Pretty dress cover fan 4 lyfe.

33. Such a Good Girl – Amanda K. Morgan
such-a-good-girl-amanda-k-morgan
Thoughts: Are we trying to hang the queen with a ribbon?

34. Be the One: Six True Stories of Teens Overcoming Hardship with Hope – Byron Pitts
be-the-one-byron-pitts
Thoughts: They really committed to terrible font.

35. Bang – Barry Lyga
bang-barry-lyga
Thoughts: Ellen Hopkins wants her cover art back.

36. Down Among the Sticks and Bones (Wayward Children #2) – Seanan McGuire
down-among-the-sticks-and-bones-wayward-children-2-seanan-mcguire
Thoughts: What a lovely cover for a book that looks like it’s about either burying someone alive or graverobbing.

37. Chalk – Paul Cornell
chalk-paul-cornell
Thoughts: Let’s chalk this one up to a lack of inspiration.

38. Mind the Gap – Phil Earle
mind-the-gap-phil-earle
Thoughts: Incredibly moving. Because it’s a transit system. I see what Kevin Brooks did there.

Cover Battles:

1. Thanks for the Trouble – Tommy Wallach

Thanks for the Trouble - Tommy Wallach
thanks-for-the-trouble-tommy-wallach

US Hardback vs. US Paperback: Not only did Tommy Wallach once again prove himself an asshat with his commentary on this cover (which I don’t want to go into), but it’s really not visually appealing either.

2. Flower – Elizabeth Craft & Shea Olsen

flower-elizabeth-craft-shea-olsen-german
flower-elizabeth-craft-shea-olsen-russian
flower-elizabeth-craft-shea-olsen-spanish
flower-elizabeth-craft-shea-olsen

German vs. Russian vs. Spanish vs. US: Was not impressed with the bland Ellen Hopkins vibe of the US cover, but now that I’ve seen the foreign editions it looks a bit better.

3. Something Strange and Deadly (Something Strange and Deadly #1) – Susan Dennard

Something Strange and Deadly
something-strange-and-deadly-susan-dennard

US Original vs. US Redesign: Here for Eleanor’s parasol, even if, once again, I don’t think they got Eleanor’s body type quite right.

4. The Bear and the Nightingale – Katherine Arden

The Bear and the Nightingale - Katherine Arden
the-bear-and-the-nightingale-katherine-arden-uk

US vs. UK: They’re both pretty cool, but I feel like the UK cover’s on some drugs that the US cover eschewed.

WTF of the Week:

WTF of the Week began as a special category for one cover I saw, but was so popular it became a recurring feature. Here, I highlight covers, both new and old, that I’ve found, which, upon viewing, made me either snort or say something along the lines of “Dear God, what is that thing?”

1. The Druid Knight Tales: A Short Story (Druid Knights #1.5) – Ruth A. Casie
the-druid-knight-tales-ruth-a-casie
Thoughts: This is a truly impressive fire fail.

2. Sword Hax – Joey Kirby
sword-hax-joey-kirby
Thoughts: Just because you can doesn’t mean you should.

3. Bleed – Dax Varley
bleed-dax-varley
Thoughts: Um, is she doing a sexy dance routine on the bloody floor of a high school?

4 responses to “Cover Snark (201): One of Us Is Snarking”

  1. 4. Adorable and a little creepy, I love it.
    7. All of these covers look the same to me, aside from sunglass color. It’s hard to tell them apart.
    11. I like the paint quality of this. It’s lovely.
    12. Ooh striking!!
    12. That’s one of the hotter cover models I’ve seen. Hellooooo 😀
    15. I know what you mean but I still really like it!
    24. Creeptastic.
    31. It does look villainy!
    32. Saaaame. Give me all the pretty dresses!
    38. This is adorable.
    4. I vastly prefer the US cover. It gives me that fairy tale feel- not sure if I’d even pick up the other cover.
    3. Eww. Disturbing on a variety of levels.

    • Christina Franke says:

      4. It’s fun. I wonder if the heroes of the tales will be the bad guys? That could be quite fun.

      7. Especially since there are SIX books in this series. Holy cow.

      11. tor.com does a high percentage of my favorite covers.

      13. He’s gorgeous. I wish she weren’t blocking him but oh well.

      15. Same. I’m excited she’s finally trying for diversity!

      32. These books are fun too. 🙂

      4. On some level, I do think the UK cover is really awesome, but yeah I have a strong personal preference for the US one. It’s dark and foreboding but lovely and welcoming all at once.

  2. Danielle says:

    1. With the title and tag I thought this was a romance about rival lit agents at Little Brown and Lion Hudson and I made myself sad that its not.
    6. Hard stop. Absolutely no. You leave Wells the fuck alone. (Which is a shame, because I’d love this art as a rerelease of TWotW)
    7. I came down here to write that this is exactly the same as the last book, but I see Morgan beat me to it.
    10. I ADORED this until I looked too hard at the beard and now all I see is the way its shaded makes it look like a female face with a hand towel wrapped around it.
    22. I love green. Lime green is my favorite color. To see it so badly done makes me v. ragey.
    31. Are the leaves…razor blades? Purple color yes, leaves no.
    38. This is my fave.
    2. I understand all weapons except the spiked football? Wha?
    Danielle recently posted…Backlist Review: Say Yes to the Marquess by Tessa DareMy Profile

    • Christina Franke says:

      1. HAHAHAHAHAHA. I’ve not heard of Lion Hudson, but now I want a book about rival lit agents fighting over an author.

      6. The art’s cool. I don’t really have strong Wells feels, but I don’t really love calling something a sequel when it’s not BY the same person.

      22. You must have loved Eat Dirt, though. And Grasshopper Jungle. Those both rock the lime green well.

      31. I’m not sure. They sort of just look like they’re sewed on with metal or something?

      38. Funny. You and Morgan both love this one. I’m pretty meh on it. My fave of the week is….Little & Lion, I think. Or Down Among the Sticks and Bones.

      2. It’s how you take down an unsuspecting football player, I guess? idk.

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