Cover Snark (198): Love and First Snark

Welcome to Cover Snark, where the people are snarky and the covers quiver in fear. Since I don’t write many snarky book reviews here on A Reader of Fictions, Cover Snark is my outlet. If you click on the title of the book, where possible, I’ve linked to Goodreads. Clicking on the cover itself will show you the cover in a larger size, in most cases. Feel free to love covers I hate and vice versa. Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

Please note that you should by no means contact the author if you do not like their cover; they likely have ZERO control. Feel free to express opinions in the comments, but please do not @ an author on Twitter because of anything you’ve seen here. Let’s keep it kind.

Shiny and New:

1. Spymaster (The Dragon Corsairs #1) – Margaret Weis & Robert Krammes
spymaster-the-dragon-corsairs-1-margaret-weis-robert-krammes
Thoughts: YASSSSSS

2. The Dinosaur Princess (The Dinosaur Lords, #3) – Victor Milán
the-dinosaur-princess-the-dinosaur-lords-3-victor-milan
Thoughts: Best kind of princess (although the cover itself is a bit blah, which is shocking since there’s a motherfucking dinosaur).

3. Proof of Concept – Gwyneth Jones
proof-of-concept-gwyneth-jones
Thoughts: This does indeed look more like a proof of concept than a finished product.

4. The Suffering Tree – Elle Cosimano
the-suffering-tree-elle-cosimano
Thoughts: No wonder it’s suffering considering that it’s a stump.

5. Love and First Sight – Josh Sundquist
love-and-first-sight-josh-sundquist
Thoughts: Eh and first sight.

6. Gauntlet (Arena #2) – Holly Jennings
gauntlet-holly-jennings
Thoughts: At first glance, she looks like a futuristic Frankenstein’s monster.

7. Bubbles – Abby Cooper
bubbles-abby-cooper
Thoughts: I’m really hoping her name isn’t bubbles. You never know with fiction.

8. Royally Matched (Royally #2) – Emma Chase
royally-matched-emma-chase
Thoughts: The question of the day is whether there are any pants covering those crown jewels.

9. Blush for Me (Fusion #3) – Kristen Proby
blush-for-me-fusion-3-kristen-proby
Thoughts: *barfs a little on title*

10. The Battlemage (Summoner #3) – Taran Matharu
the-battlemage-taran-matharu
Thoughts: The pose makes me lol, but it’s well done on the whole.

11. Prisoner of Ice and Snow – Ruth Lauren
prisoner-of-ice-and-snow-ruth-lauren
Thoughts: Kinda weird to give your prisoners a bow and arrow tbh.

12. Noteworthy – Riley Redgate
noteworthy-riley-redgate
Thoughts: Pitch Perfect meets Rocky Horror?

13. Firebrand (Alternative Detective #2) – A.J. Hartley
firebrand-a-j-hartley
Thoughts: Wow, I love the concept but the execution is shockingly bad.

14. Well, That Was Awkward – Rachel Vail
well-that-was-awkward-rachel-vail
Thoughts: BUNNY ON A LEASH.

15. Grace and the Fever – Zan Romanoff
grace-and-the-fever-zan-romanoff
Thoughts: I didn’t realize people still got yellow fever.

16. The Matchstick Castle – Keir Graff
the-matchstick-castle-keir-graff
Thoughts: I SEE YOU, PUMBAA.

17. See You in the Cosmos, Carl Sagan – Jack Cheng
see-you-in-the-cosmos-carl-sagan-jack-cheng
Thoughts: Zero hour, nine AM. And I’m gonna be high as a kite by then. I miss the earth so much, I miss my dog.

18. The Bone Snatcher – Charlotte Salter
the-bone-snatcher-charlotte-salter
Thoughts: DO NOT SNATCH HER BONES. SHE DOES NOT TAKE KINDLY TO IT.

19. Jasper and the Riddle of Riley’s Mine – Caroline Starr Rose
jasper-and-the-riddle-of-rileys-mine-caroline-starr-rose
Thoughts: These boys need to put on some coats. Oh god, I’m old, aren’t I?

20. Big and Little Questions (According to Wren Jo Byrd) – Julie Bowe
big-and-little-questions-according-to-wren-jo-byrd-julie-bowe
Thoughts: The kittttty and the kitty alarm clock. ♥

21. The Castle in the Mist – Amy Ephron
the-castle-in-the-mist-amy-ephron
Thoughts: It’s lovely but also I feel like middle grade covers have done all of these well so many times that I’m a little bored of this cover.

22. Ivy – Katherine Coville
ivy-katherine-coville
Thoughts: MASSIVELY FLUFFY WHITE CAT. DOG? WHATEVER.

23. Blooming at the Texas Sunrise Motel – Kimberly Willis Holt
blooming-at-the-texas-sunrise-motel-kimberly-willis-holt
Thoughts: It’s the small things that you fall in love with on a cover sometimes, and I’m so fucking in love with her hair. The flower in the title isn’t working as well for me though.

24. Counting Sheep: Calpurnia Tate, Girl Vet (Calpurnia Tate #4) – Jacqueline Kelly
counting-sheep-jacqueline-kelly
Thoughts: Counting actual sheep probably does make you more tired.

25. One Amazing Elephant – Linda Oatman High
one-amazing-elephant-linda-oatman-high
Thoughts: Samwise is so jealous rn.

26. One Hundred Spaghetti Strings – Jen Nails
one-hundred-spaghetti-strings-jen-nails
Thoughts: *eats cover*

27. Under the Ashes – Cindy Rankin
under-the-ashes-cindy-rankin
Thoughts: That’s super cool. Though I will never love the giant eyes over a city effect.

28. The Lost Staff of Wonders (Will Wilder #) – Raymond Arroyo
the-lost-staff-of-wonders-will-wilder-raymond-arroyo
Thoughts: Is he shooting fire into this thing’s mouth or is it breathing fire at him?

29. Blue Is a Darkness Weakened by Light – Sarah McCarry
blue-is-a-darkness-weakened-by-light-sarah-mccarry
Thoughts: Gahhhh, I am weakened by loving.

30. The One Memory of Flora Banks – Emily Barr
the-one-memory-of-flora-banks-emily-barr
Thoughts: Cue the Sara Bareilles.

31. Real Friends – Shannon Hale
real-friends-shannon-hale
Thoughts: This art style reminds me of Wayside school and other classic middle grades.

32. The Harbors of the Sun (The Books of the Raksura #5) – Martha Wells
the-harbors-of-the-sun-martha-wells
Thoughts: That’s a cool…dragon lady? You know, I’m not entirely sure what I’m looking at, but it’s cool.

33. I Believe in a Thing Called Love – Maurene Goo
i-believe-in-a-thing-called-love-maurene-goo
Thoughts: OH MY GOD OH MY GOD JUST LISTEN TO THE RHYTHM OF MY HEART.

Cover Battles:

1. Bone Gap – Laura Ruby

THE BONE GAP - Laura Ruby
bone-gap-laura-ruby-czech
bone-gap-laura-ruby-hungarian
bone-gap-laura-ruby-uk

US vs. Czech vs. Hungarian vs. UK: It’s really a toss up which is more terrifying: the US or the Czech. However, there’s no competition for most adorable. Good work, UK!

2. Caraval (Untitled #1) – Stephanie Garber

Caraval - Stephanie Garber
caraval-untitled-1-stephanie-garber-dutch
caraval-untitled-1-stephanie-garber

US vs. Dutch vs. UK: Why is the title crying?

3. Arena (Arena #1) – Holly Jennings

Arena - Holly Jennings
arena-holly-jennings

US Hardback vs. US Paperback: Well that look’s slicker. Even if those pants look massively uncomfortable.

4. Bone Jack – Sara Crowe

Bone Jack - Sara Crowe
bone-jack-sara-crowe

UK vs. US: Holy shit that’s fucking amazing.

5. Stinkbomb and Ketchup-Face and the Badness of Badgers – John Dougherty

stinkbomb-and-ketchup-face-and-the-badness-of-badgers-john-dougherty-uk
stinkbomb-and-ketchup-face-and-the-badness-of-badgers-john-dougherty-german
stinkbomb-and-ketchup-face-and-the-badness-of-badgers-john-dougherty

UK vs. German vs. US: *uses napkin to wipe the ketchup off* OH GOD, I AM OLD.

6. Defender of the Realm (Defender of the Realm #1) – Mark Huckerby & Nick Ostler

defender-of-the-realm-mark-huckerby-nick-ostler-uk
defender-of-the-realm-mark-huckerby-nick-ostler

UK vs. US: HOW DID HE GET INTO THAT ARMOR?

7. School Ship Tobermory – Alexander McCall Smith

school-ship-tobermory-alexander-mccall-smith-uk
school-ship-tobermory-alexander-mccall-smith

UK vs. US: This is a tight race. Who gets the trophy?

WTF of the Week:

WTF of the Week began as a special category for one cover I saw, but was so popular it became a recurring feature. Here, I highlight covers, both new and old, that I’ve found, which, upon viewing, made me either snort or say something along the lines of “Dear God, what is that thing?”

1. Steel & Bones (Steel & Bones #1) – Jessica Sorensen
steel-bones-jessica-sorensen
Thoughts: Him: I’ll show you a steely bone. *grinds suggestively* Her: *clenches*

2. Tiger Tracks (Alaskan Tigers #9) – Marissa Dobson
tiger-tracks-alaskan-tigers-marissa-dobson
Thoughts: Left tiger: “Can you believe what’s happening here?” Right tiger: “NO.”

3. He’s Just Knot That Into You – Nico Jaye
hes-just-knot-that-into-you-nico-jaye
Thoughts: Do knot want.

One response to “Cover Snark (198): Love and First Snark”

  1. Leah says:

    Thanks for doing these Cover Snarks–I add so many books to my TBR list because of it! 😀

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