Cover Snark (197): The Snark Granter

Welcome to Cover Snark, where the people are snarky and the covers quiver in fear. Since I don’t write many snarky book reviews here on A Reader of Fictions, Cover Snark is my outlet. If you click on the title of the book, where possible, I’ve linked to Goodreads. Clicking on the cover itself will show you the cover in a larger size, in most cases. Feel free to love covers I hate and vice versa. Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

Please note that you should by no means contact the author if you do not like their cover; they likely have ZERO control. Feel free to express opinions in the comments, but please do not @ an author on Twitter because of anything you’ve seen here. Let’s keep it kind.

So yeah, I’ve been on the strugglebus lately with Cover Snark but better late than never, right?

1. Pyromantic (Firebug #2) – Lish McBride
pyromantic-lish-mcbride
Thoughts: One of my favorite covers ever, I think.

2. We Are Okay – Nina LaCour
we-are-okay-nina-lacour
Thoughts: We are very pepto bismol.

3. The Outsiders – S.E. Hinton
the-outsiders-s-e-hinton-50th
Thoughts: Damn. This book is old.

4. Heartstone – Elle Katharine White
heartstone-elle-katharine-white
Thoughts: This execution leaves a lot to be desired (that brown on brown is not working for me AT ALL), but DRAGON/PRETTY DRESS COMBO OMG.

5. The Takedown – Corrie Wang
the-takedown-corrie-wang
Thoughts: Looks like she’s got a viral infection. BA DUM TISH.

6. Bookburners (Bookburners, #1.1-1.16) – Max Gladstone, Margaret Dunlap, Mur Lafferty, & Brian Francis Slattery
bookburners-bookburners-1-1-1-16-max-gladstone-margaret-dunlap-mur-lafferty-brian-francis-slattery
Thoughts: STAY AWAY FROM MY LIBRARY.

7. Princess Cora and the Crocodile – Laura Amy Schlitz
princess-cora-and-the-crocodile-laura-amy-schlitz
Thoughts: The crocodile is like “HEY CORA I LOOK GOOD ON THE COVER RIGHT?” and she’s like about to tell him “uh, yeah, you look fine” and they took the picture just then.

8. The Outs – E.S. Wesley
the-outs-e-s-wesley
Thoughts: You can actually see the lightbulb coming on over the designer’s head.

9. The Emperor’s Riddle – Kat Zhang
the-emperors-riddle-kat-zhang
Thoughts: Riddle me this: why are middle grade covers so awesome?

10. Secret Heart – Danielle Dreger
secret-heart-danielle-dreger
Thoughts: I’m surprisingly pleased by the cute purple title and author fonts, but that tagline font hurts me and the image is generic and boring.

11. The Possible – Tara Altebrando
the-possible-tara-altebrando
Thoughts: Fun fact, if you reverse image search this, Google WILL try to sell you snow globes.

12. The Wish Granter (Ravenspire #2) – C. J. Redwine
the-wish-granter-ravenspire-2-c-j-redwine
Thoughts: Did they redesign book one? It doesn’t look like it, but this doesn’t match. BUT WHY.

13. By Your Side – Kasie West
by-your-side-kasie-west
Thoughts: Well, it’s not my favorite Kasie West cover because I don’t think the font and the background really work together, with the end result being sloppy, but BOOK PILES BOOK PILES.

14. Fire in You (Wait for You #6) – Jennifer L. Armentrout
fire-in-you-jennifer-l-armentrout
Thoughts: FIRE IN THE HOLE.

15. Redux (Tricksters #2) – A.L. Davroe
redux-a-l-davroe
Thoughts: Back cleavage.

16. Spellbook of the Lost and Found – Moira Fowley-Doyle
spellbook-of-the-lost-and-found-moira-fowley-doyle
Thoughts: When you see a book on fire, PUT IT OUT, don’t just hug yourself omg.

17. Buried Heart (Court of Fives #3) – Kate Elliott
buried-heart-court-of-fives-3-kate-elliott
Thoughts: THERE IS A SPIDER IN YOUR HEART. SET YOURSELF ON FIRE. IT IS THE ONLY WAY.

18. Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them: The Original Screenplay – J.K. Rowling
fantastic-beasts-and-where-to-find-them-the-original-screenplay-j-k-rowling
Thoughts: Not sure why I’d want to read a screenplay rather than watch the film, but damn that’s lovely. IT’S A TRAP.

19. The Handmaid’s Tale – Margaret Atwood
the-handmaids-tale-margaret-atwood
Thoughts: A girl has no name. And no head.

20. Just Fly Away – Andrew McCarthy
just-fly-away-andrew-mccarthy
Thoughts: BORING.

21. Kill All Happies – Rachel Cohn
kill-all-happies-rachel-cohn
Thoughts: Not feeling a strong interest in the book itself but I would murder for some french fries rn.

22. Hello, Sunshine – Leila Howland
hello-sunshine-leila-howland
Thoughts: Packing light is overrated lbr.

23. Love Me Crazy – Camden Leigh
love-me-crazy-camden-leigh
Thoughts: Always a good idea to put ableist words on a cover, right?

24. What I Lost – Alexandra Ballard
what-i-lost-alexandra-ballard
Thoughts: Lost chocolate! This is the most tragic cover I’ve ever seen. ANYTHING BUT THAT.

25. Witchtown – Cory Putman Oakes
witchtown-cory-putman-oakes
Thoughts: Those are some weird looking candles.

26. Maybe In Paris – Rebecca Christiansen
maybe-in-paris-rebecca-christiansen
Thoughts: Listen, if Paris is actually in the title, you don’t need to put the Eiffel Tower on the cover to get the setting across to the reader.

27. The Bound (Ascension #2) – K.A. Linde
the-bound-ascension-2-k-a-linde
Thoughts: Something about this really screams Christian fiction.

28. The Operative (San Angeles #2) – Gerald Brandt
the-operative-gerald-brandt
Thoughts: In case the height alone didn’t look terrifying, she’s being chased by zombie ghosts.

29. Love, Ish – Karen Rivers
love-ish-karen-rivers
Thoughts: Cute, ish.

30. Enjoy the Dance (Dancing #2) – Heidi Cullinan
enjoy-the-dance-heidi-cullinan
Thoughts: *is buried under Dance Academy feels*

31. This Is Not the End – Chandler Baker
this-is-not-the-end-chandler-baker
Thoughts: That fonttttttt.

Cover Battles:

1. The House of Binding Thorns (Dominion of the Fallen #2) – Aliette de Bodard

The House of Binding Thorns (Dominion of the Fallen #2) - Aliette de Bodard
the-house-of-binding-thorns-dominion-of-the-fallen-2-aliette-de-bodard-us

UK vs. US: Well, it’s less boring than the UK cover, but only marginally so.

2. The Women in the Walls – Amy Lukavics

The Women in the Walls - Amy Lukavics
the-women-in-the-walls-amy-lukavics-uk

US vs. UK: I want to love the UK cover, but yeah no font fail. I’ll take the US one.

3. The Fairy-Tale Detectives (The Sisters Grimm #1) – Michael Buckley

the-sisters-grimm-michael-buckley-hb
the-sisters-grimm-michael-buckley-pb
the-sisters-grimm-michael-buckley

US Hardback vs. US Paperback vs. US 10th Anniversary Edition: The art on none of these is entirely to my tastes. I think I’d buy the hardcover just for the old school look. That said, I really like the redesign for the third book in particular (though I’m too lazy to include them all).

4. Windwitch (The Witchlands #2) – Susan Dennard

Windwitch (The Witchlands #2) - Susan Dennard
windwitch-susan-dennard

US vs. UK: The UK cover looks like the slightly less shiny version of the US one.

5. The Book Jumper – Mechthild Glaser

the-book-jumper-mechthild-glaser-german
the-book-jumper-mechthild-glaser-italian
the-book-jumper-mechthild-glaser

German vs. Italian vs. US: The US cover is just perfection. All other countries may cede victory.

6. Frost Blood – Elly Blake

Frostblood (The Frostblood Saga #1) - Elly Blake
frostblood-elly-blake-final

ARC vs. Hardback: The ARC cover of Frostblood circulated a bit, but they’ve changed their design from then. The final cover definitely looks a bit cleaner, though it’s not quite as amazing as I’d hoped.

7. Freeks – Amanda Hocking

Freeks - Amanda Hocking
freeks-amanda-hocking-uk

US vs. Australian: I may not be the target consumer since I don’t think I would buy a book called “freeks” in the first place, but, if I wanted to and lived in the UK, I’d order the US edition.

8. The Spark (Extrahumans #3) – Susan Jane Bigelow

the-spark-susan-jane-bigelow-original
the-spark-susan-jane-bigelow

Original Self-Pub vs. Book Smugglers: Srsly, everyone let’s give the Book Smugglers a standing ovation.

9. The Dragon with a Chocolate Heart – Stephanie Burgis

the-dragon-with-a-chocolate-heart-stephanie-burgis
the-dragon-with-a-chocolate-heart-stephanie-burgis-us

US vs. Australian: The UK cover almost looks like a picture book. I’d go for the US because it looks like it’s aiming for an older audience.

WTF of the Week:

WTF of the Week began as a special category for one cover I saw, but was so popular it became a recurring feature. Here, I highlight covers, both new and old, that I’ve found, which, upon viewing, made me either snort or say something along the lines of “Dear God, what is that thing?”

1. Whipped (Decadent #3) – Kelly Collins
whipped-kelly-collins
Thoughts: This is an old version of the cover, but enjoy how creamy.

2. Killian – Elizabeth Kelly
killian-elizabeth-kelly
Thoughts: Nothing says SEXYTIMES like bug wings.

3. Ember – Rachel Van Dyken
ember-rachel-van-dyken
Thoughts: Is his penis a phoenix? PHOENIS.

2 responses to “Cover Snark (197): The Snark Granter”

  1. Gillian says:

    2. still see that penis, damn you

    4. underwhelming considering regency dress plus DRAGONS

    12. they’re companions more than sequels, so maybe they weren’t trying to match as closely? idk

    17. NO WHY GIANT SPIDER WHY

    18. still gonna buy it because i have a problem

    19. PRETTYYY

    20. wtf where’s the rest of it

    22. her luggage is so fucking cute omg gimme

    31. oo love that lettering

    CB1. US is beyond cheesy

    CB6. I’m glad they changed this because the angle of the ice spike drove me crazy

    CB9. You messed up the labelling of the covers but I thiiiink the one I like is the pretty kinda glowy US one (the second one)

    WTF2. BUG WINGS

    WTF3. PHOENIS!!!
    Gillian recently posted…Empire of Storms #MaasThirteen Blog Tour + Giveaway!My Profile

  2. love The Takedown’s cover!

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