Cover Snark (196): The Architect of Snark

Welcome to Cover Snark, where the people are snarky and the covers quiver in fear. Since I don’t write many snarky book reviews here on A Reader of Fictions, Cover Snark is my outlet. If you click on the title of the book, where possible, I’ve linked to Goodreads. Clicking on the cover itself will show you the cover in a larger size, in most cases. Feel free to love covers I hate and vice versa. Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

Please note that you should by no means contact the author if you do not like their cover; they likely have ZERO control. Feel free to express opinions in the comments, but please do not @ an author on Twitter because of anything you’ve seen here. Let’s keep it kind.

Shiny and New:

1. Home (Binti #2) – Nnedi Okorafor
Binti Home - Nnedi Okorafor
Thoughts: SFF used to have the worst covers ever and it’s very obviously over that.

2. Terry Pratchett’s Discworld Colouring Book: The Artist’s Edition – Paul Kidby
Terry Pratchett's Discworld Coloring Book - Paul Kidby
Thoughts: Just when I’m like WHOA WHOA we need to calm down on these coloring books (i mean, I haven’t even started on the ones I have), THEY PULL ME BACK IN.

3. Fireworks – Katie Cotugno
Fireworks - Katie Catugno
Thoughts: Who thinks the girls have more chemistry than the girl and the guy?

4. The King of Rats (The Sin Eater’s Daughter #0.5) – Melinda Salisbury
The King of Rats - Melinda Salisbury
Thoughts: Does that make her the sugarplum fairy?

5. Nemesis – Brendan Reichs
Nemesis - Brendan Reichs
Thoughts: Tagline = winning. Cover = eh.

6. Wires and Nerve, Volume 1 (Wires and Nerve) – Marissa Meyer
Wires and Nerve (The Lunar Chronicles) - Marissa Meyer
Thoughts: OMG, I love how this still has the feel of the other Lunar Chronicles art but graphic novelified.

7. Dear Reader – Mary O’Connell
Dear Reader - Mary O'Connell
Thoughts: The brocade cityscape’s pretty cool, but without a more exciting font or color scheme, I don’t think this is quite working.

8. The Architect of Song (Haunted Hearts Legacy #1) – A.G. Howard
The Architect of Song (Haunted Hearts Legacy #1) - A.G. Howard
Thoughts: The phantom of the graveyaaaard is here.

9. Consumed (Barren #2) – Elizabeth Miceli
Consumed - Elizabeth Miceli
Thoughts: The tragic story of a girl slowly being eaten by her hair.

10. Of Sand and Storm‏ (Fairy Queens #5) – Amber Argyle
Of Sand and Storm‏ (Fairy Queens #5) - Amber Argyle
Thoughts: Not the best Argyle cover but respectable enough.

11. Royally Roma (The Royals #1) – Teri Wilson
Royally Roma (The Royals #1) - Teri Wilson
Thoughts: The tricolor title was clearly intended to make this book stand out from every other romance book set in Italy with a Vespa-cuddling couple. It fails.

12. Fair Rebel (Fourlands #5) – Steph Swainston
Fair Rebel - Steph Swainston
Thoughts: I’m very bored. Could maybe be saved irl by texture/shininess.

13. Empire Games (Empire Games #1) – Charles Stross
Empire Games - Charles Stross
Thoughts: Empire games sound TAXIng.

14. The Star Thief – Lindsey Becker
The Star Thief - Lindsey Becker
Thoughts: PEGASTARSUS.

15. Grendel’s Guide to Love and War: A Tale of Rivalry, Romance, and Existential Angst – A. E. Kaplan
Grendel's Guide to Love and War A Tale of Rivalry, Romance, and Existential Angst - A. E. Kaplan
Thoughts: I’m not sure if I’m more amused at a contemporary Beowulf retelling or the girl mowing this guy’s hair.

16. City of Saints and Thieves – Natalie C. Anderson
City of Saints and Thieves - Natalie C. Anderson
Thoughts: They had a ball with this one.

17. The Last Thing You Said – Sara Biren
The Last Thing You Said - Sara Biren
Thoughts: Why is the sunny orange coming from both the top left and bottom right?

18. So For Real – Rebekah Weatherspoon
So For Real - Rebekah Weatherspoon
Thoughts: Cakes are very for real.

19. The Goal (Off-Campus #4) – Elle Kennedy
The Goal (Off Campus #4) - Elle Kennedy
Thoughts: If the goal was abs, it has been thoroughly met.

20. Sucktown, Alaska – Craig Dirkes
Sucktown, Alaska - Craig Dirkes
Thoughts: This is why you don’t let teenagers name towns.

21. The Door to January – Gillian French
The Door to January - Gillian French
Thoughts: The new year lies through this icy lake.

22. Charlotte Sometimes – Penelope Farmer
Charlotte Sometimes - Penelope Farmer
Thoughts: This looks like a horror retelling of Charlotte’s Web.

23. Terminate (Retribution #1) – Natasha Deen
Terminate (Retribution) - Natasha Deen
Thoughts: Get em, girl!

24. Nantucket Summer: A Collection (Nantucket Red #1-2) – Leila Howland
Nantucket Summer A Collection (Nantucket Red #1-2) - Leila Howland
Thoughts: Seriously, who thought people wanted to look at feet?

25. Man’s Search for Meaning: A Young Adult Edition – Viktor E. Frankl & John Boyne
Man's Search for Meaning A Young Adult Edition - Viktor E. Frankl, John Boyne
Thoughts: I really hate this trend of dumbing books down with “young reader’s editions.” I find it really insulting to teens.

26. The Best Medicine – Christine Hamill
The Best Medicine - Christine Hamill
Thoughts: Do you think he’s writing the Reader’s Digest column?

27. Frogkisser! – Garth Nix
Frogkisser! - Garth Nix
Thoughts: She must just like kissing frogs, because it’s pretty obvious which one’s the money frog.

28. Wild Lily- K.M. Peyton
Wild Lily- K.M. Peyton
Thoughts: Tragic, tragic Mockingjay flashbacks.

29. Velocity – Chris Wooding
Velocity - Chris Wooding
Thoughts: Looking for those Mad Max fans obvs.

30. Freeks – Amanda Hocking
Freeks - Amanda Hocking
Thoughts: I wonder if this is supposed to be the classy version of freaks, like spelling vampire with a y.

31. Drawn Away – Holly Bennett
Drawn Away - Holly Bennett
Thoughts: Their cover design still needs ummm work, but at least Orca’s trying something aside from their standard issue cover.

32. Forever, Again – Victoria Laurie
Forever, Again - Victoria Laurie
Thoughts: You’ve gotta put your behind in your past.

33. Until I Break – Kara Bietz
Until I Break - Kara M. Bietz
Thoughts: Yo, tagline, putting a period at the end doesn’t make something a full thought.

34. The Door in the Alley (The Explorers #1) – Adrienne Kress
The Door in the Alley (The Explorers #1) - Adrienne Kress
Thoughts: CAAAAAYUTE.

35. Soldier Boy – Keely Hutton
Soldier Boy - Keely Hutton
Thoughts: Middle grade covers really do just win.

36. The Burning World (Warm Bodies #3) – Isaac Marion
The Burning World - Isaac Marion
Thoughts: Not sure how many adooring fans this cover will attract. Also, hilariously, I wasn’t aware book two had already happened.

Cover Battles:

1. The Song Rising (The Bone Season #3) – Samantha Shannon

The Song Rising (The Bone Season #1) - Samantha Shannon UK
The Song Rising - Samantha Shannon collector's

UK Hardback vs. UK Collector’s Edition: If you’re willing to go to the effort to obtain the Collector’s Edition, you can have covers that match. That’s cool, I guess. I do like the Collector’s cover more.

2. Wing Jones – Katherine Webber

The Heartbeats of Wing Jones - Katherine Webber
Wing Jones - Katherine Webber

US vs. UK: Neither cover’s quite my style, but I think I’d go for the whimsy of the shoelace title over the oil splash.

3. The Absoluteness of Nothing – C. G. Watson

Ascending the Boneyard - C. G. Watson
The Absoluteness of Nothing - C. G. Watson

US Hardback vs. US Paperback: Well, that’s a direction change. I love the new cover and hate the old one, so that’s a win for me.

4. Sunkissed (Ladybirds) – Jenny McLachlan

Sunkissed (Ladybirds) - Jenny McLachlan uk
Sunkissed (Ladybirds) - Jenny McLachlan us

UK vs. US: This series has a really strong, reliable design in both countries, but I like the illustrated US covers more than the UK model covers.

5. Everything Beautiful Is Not Ruined – Danielle Younge-Ullman

Everything Beautiful Is Not Ruined - Danielle Younge-Ullman
Everything Beautiful Is Not Ruined - Danielle Younge-Ullman

US vs. Canadian: Don’t love either one tbh.

6. The Movie Version – Emma Wunsch

The Movie Version - Emma Wunsch
The Movie Version - Emma Wunsch

US Take 1 vs. US Take 2: Marginal improvement but I still don’t think it quite works.

WTF of the Week:

WTF of the Week began as a special category for one cover I saw, but was so popular it became a recurring feature. Here, I highlight covers, both new and old, that I’ve found, which, upon viewing, made me either snort or say something along the lines of “Dear God, what is that thing?”

1. The Upside of Letting Go – Nacole Stayton
The Upside of Letting Go - Nacole Stayton
Thoughts: While I am quite impressed that these models managed a kiss in this scenario, I’m laughing at the fact that they photoshopped out the top of the swing’s chain, so it looks like she’s floating. Not to mention how obviously they’ve been photoshopped clearly into a new background.

2. Taming Me (Cover to Covers #5) – Alexandrea Weis
Taming Me ( Cover to Covers #5) by Alexandrea Weis
Thoughts: Yeah, her proportions look just right.

3. The Fall (Tales of Tolari Space #3) – Christie Meierz
The Fall (Tales of Tolari Space #3) - Christie Meierz
Thoughts: Sims in space.

4 responses to “Cover Snark (196): The Architect of Snark”

  1. 3. I want to read this book but I’m really not feeling the cover. At all.
    4. She looks so grumpy hahah. And a little like Jenna Dewan-Tatum.
    6. Love this, especially the bold colors!
    11. So boring!
    14. Shiny galaxy covers always catch my eye.
    17. I kind of like this but it also feels super dated somehow.
    19. THE GOAL. These covers are ridic but god I love this series. And yes, those are nice abs.
    24. Hahaha at least they’re nice feet.
    34. MG covers are the best. I love browsing the children’s section of bookstores!

  2. S. C. Flynn says:

    I read the title as Tanning Me”,ans rhe guy seems.to have spent a lot of time under the sun lamp.

  3. Steph says:

    Chances of it being saved IRL by texture/shininess: very low.

  4. Steph says:

    ↑ Hey, I got an icon cuter than most of these covers.

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