Cover Snark (195): Empress of a Thousand Snarks

Welcome to Cover Snark, where the people are snarky and the covers quiver in fear. Since I don’t write many snarky book reviews here on A Reader of Fictions, Cover Snark is my outlet. If you click on the title of the book, where possible, I’ve linked to Goodreads. Clicking on the cover itself will show you the cover in a larger size, in most cases. Feel free to love covers I hate and vice versa. Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

Please note that you should by no means contact the author if you do not like their cover; they likely have ZERO control. Feel free to express opinions in the comments, but please do not @ an author on Twitter because of anything you’ve seen here. Let’s keep it kind.

Shiny and New:

1. Short – Holly Goldberg Sloan
Short - Holly Goldberg Sloan
Thoughts: Son of a nutcracker!

2. Rise of the Chosen – Anna Kopp
Rise of the Chosen - Anna Kopp
Thoughts: OY WITH THE EYE COVERS ALREADY.

3. A Certain Age – Beatriz Williams
A Certain Age - Beatriz Williams
Thoughts: This cover is Phryne-approved.

4. The Inconceivable Life of Quinn – Marianna Baer
The Inconceivable Life of Quinn - Marianna Baer
Thoughts: Inconceivably cute.

5. The Edge of the Blade (The Uncharted Realms #2) – Jeffe Kennedy
The Edge of the Blade (The Uncharted Realms) - Jeffe Kennedy
Thoughts: Her enemies are definitely about to meet the edge of her blades.

6. A Season of Spells (Noctis Magicae #3) – Sylvia Izzo Hunter
A Season of Spells (Noctis Magicae #3) - Sylvia Izzo Hunter
Thoughts: The cover, unlike the book, is a-bridged.

7. Wounded (Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter) – Laurell K. Hamilton
Wounded (Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter #24.5) - Laurell K. Hamilton
Thoughts: 1) This is massively ugly. 2) How has this series not finished yet, my god?

8. Clanless (Nameless #2) – Jennifer Jenkins
Clanless - Jennifer Jenkins
Thoughts: The clanless are not allowed to wash.

9. Immortal Writers – Jill Bowers
Immortal Writers - Jill Bowers
Thoughts: Another time where I like the idea, but find the execution poor. I mean, that font is horrid. And the color palette is quite bland.

10. Circuits & Slippers – Kaylee James, ed.
Circuits & Slippers - Kaylee James, ed.
Thoughts: Little red Cinderhood.

11. Feedback (Newsflesh #4) – Mira Grant
Feedback (Newsflesh #4) - Mira Grant
Thoughts: OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD (THE COVERS FOR THIS SERIES ARE MEH BUT OH MY GOD IT’S ALMOST HERE)

12. Done Dirt Cheap – Sarah Nicole Lemon
Done Dirt Cheap - Sarah Nicole Lemon
Thoughts: I ship it.

13. Infinity (The Infinity Division #1) – Jus Accardo
Infinity – Jus Accardo
Thoughts: I don’t know. Do you think they stressed the “infinity” element enough? I mean, they only mentioned it three times.

14. Empress of a Thousand Skies – Rhoda Belleza
Empress of a Thousand Skies - Rhoda Belleza
Thoughts: I’d be ever-so-slightly more into this without the face in the moon, but it manages to be gorgeous even with that caveat.

15. As Old as Time (Twisted Tales #3) – Liz Braswell
As Old as Time (Twisted Tales #3) - Liz Braswell
Thoughts: Doesn’t the Beast look like a Minotaur here?

16. Chloe Snow’s Diary: Confessions of a High School Disaster – Emma Chastain
Chloe Snow's Diary Confessions of a High School Disaster - Emma Chastain
Thoughts: Well, that’s relatable. I mean, who wasn’t a disaster in high school?

17. Midnight Jewel (Glittering Court #2) – Richelle Mead
Midnight Jewel (Glittering Court #2) - Richelle Mead
Thoughts: The model has the traditional look of wishing she was not on a Richelle Mead cover, but she’s lovely and it’s one of Mead’s better covers. There’s something about her neck position I find strange, but there’s good engagement and emotion in her eyes.

18. The Case of Beasts: Explore the Film Wizardry of Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them – Mark Salisbury
The Case of Beast Explore the Film Wizardry of Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them - Mark Salisbury
Thoughts: I want to feeeel on this book. I bet the textures are amazing. If not, this cover would be mad boring, so let’s hope so.

19. The Scarecrow Queen (The Sin Eater’s Daughter #3) – Melinda Salisbury
The Scarecrow Queen (The Sin Eater’s Daughter #3) - Melinda Salisbury
Thoughts: I’m a scarecrow in a bottle baby, you gotta rub me the right way honey. If you wanna scare the birds away, I can make your wish come true.

20. No One Left to Trust (Anastasia Phoenix #1) – Diana Rodriguez Wallach
No One Left to Trust - Diana Rodriguez Wallach
Thoughts: Is she a Transformer?

21. Till Death – Jennifer L. Armentrout
Till Death - Jennifer L. Armentrout
Thoughts: Well, that’s some shit.

22. Veiled (Ada Palomino #1) – Karina Halle
Veiled (Ada Palomino #) - Karina Halle
Thoughts: I’m surprising myself with how much I love this since face covers are generally not my fave, but I think it’s doing minimal well.

23. The Chupacabra Ate the Candelabra – Marc Tyler Nobleman
The Chupacabra Ate the Candelabra - Marc Tyler Nobleman
Thoughts: Look how cute and proud of itself it is about having eaten the candelabra!

24. Lucky Broken Girl – Ruth Behar
Lucky Broken Girl - Ruth Behar
Thoughts: Totes adorbs.

25. Penny in London – Fisher Amelie
Penny in London - Fisher Amelie
Thoughts: Penny clashes with her chair.

26. Saving Sophie – Sam Carrington
Saving Sophie - Sam Carrington
Thoughts: It’s like I can see them going “hmmm this cover’s kinda boring, so let’s just increase all of the font sizes.”

27. Daring the Bad Boy (Endless Summer) – Monica Murphy
Daring the Bad Boy (Endless Summer ) - Monica Murphy
Thoughts: Her: I DARE YOU TO PIGGY BACK ME!
Him: Is that some sort of sexual position?
Her: Ew. No.
Him: Eh, I bet we can figure something out.

28. Keeping Her Secret – Sarah Nicolas
Keeping Her Secret - Sarah Nicolas
Thoughts: You can almost here the Katy Perry blaring in the background.

29. The Daughter of the Night (The Girl in Between #4) – Laekan Zea Kemp
The Daughter of the Night (The Girl in Between #4) - Laekan Zea Kemp
Thoughts: Seriously just so lovely.

30. Where the Dead Lie (Sebastian St. Cyr #12) – C.S. Harris
Where the Dead Lie (Sebastian St. Cyr #12) - C.S. Harris
Thoughts: He is rocking dem breeches.

Cover Battles:

1. Truthwitch (The Witchlands #1) – Susan Dennard

Truthwitch - Susan Dennard
Truthwitch - Dennard

UK Hardback vs. UK Paperback: So what you’re saying is that I should get rid of my US hardcover and buy this, yes?

2. A Whole New World (Twisted Tales #1) – Liz Braswell

A Whole New World A Twisted Tale - Liz Braswell
A Whole New World (Twisted Tales #1) - Liz Braswell

US Hardback vs. US Paperback: This cover is 100% more Disney fun. I like how Jafar looks like an angry building.

3. Skullsworn – Brian Staveley

Skullsworn - Brian Staveley
Skullsworn - Brian Staveley

US vs. UK: I’m always immediately more interested in sword covers when I read that magic word “she.” Also, that’s a really pretty sword.

4. The Girl in Between (The Girl in Between #1) – Laekan Zea Kemp

The Girl in Between (The Girl in Between #1) - Laekan Zea Kemp original
The Girl in Between (The Girl in Between #1) - Laekan Zea Kemp

Original vs. Redesign: Yasss, redesign, yassss.

5. The Boy in Her Dreams (The Girl in Between #2) – Laekan Zea Kemp

The Boy in Her Dreams - Laekan Zea Kemp original
The Boy in Her Dreams - Laekan Zea Kemp

Original vs. Redesign: From self-pub ugly duckling to cover swan.

6. The Children of the Moon (The Girl in Between #3) – Laekan Zea Kemp

The Children of the Moon (The Girl in Between #3) - Laekan Zea Kemp original

The Children of the Moon (The Girl in Between #3) - Laekan Zea Kemp

Original vs. Redesign: What a pleasant new moon.

WTF of the Week:

WTF of the Week began as a special category for one cover I saw, but was so popular it became a recurring feature. Here, I highlight covers, both new and old, that I’ve found, which, upon viewing, made me either snort or say something along the lines of “Dear God, what is that thing?”

1. Castle of Sighs (Forest of Whispers #2) (Forest of Whispers #2) – Jennifer Murgia
Castle of Sighs - Jennifer Murgia
Thoughts: WARRRRGARBL

2. Southern Fried Wiccan – S.P. Sipal
Southern Fried Wiccan - S.P. Sipal
Thoughts: WHAT IS ON YOUR NECK? That’s overkill for hickey coverage. Bad attempt to dress like Queen Elizabeth? To gain empathy for your pet dog in a cone of shame?

3. Relapse of the Crystal Pubis (Shallow Giallo #2) – Creep Creepersin
Relapse of the Crystal Pubis (Shallow Giallo #2) - Creep Creepersin
Thoughts: Checked Amazon to make sure this was real. It IS.

3 responses to “Cover Snark (195): Empress of a Thousand Snarks”

  1. Gaby Salpeter says:

    Last last one, tho.

    Also, for Truthwitch I’m in a terrible “all of the above” corner and I don’t like it.

    “Is she a Transformer?” I sure as hell hope so.

  2. Angie says:

    The Anita Blake series will never end. And I will never stop reading it. I need a box of shame.

    That new Truthwitch cover though. So glad I haven’t bought a copy yet because I need it and I need it now.

  3. 2. My eyes, MY EYES. I hate this eye o_O
    3. The twenties aren’t really my thing but this cover is! I love it. So vibrant.
    6. This whole series has such appealing covers.
    13. So boringggggg.
    14. I’m not sure how I feel but I know I want to read it!
    19. Hahahahaha! I’m slightly concerned we haven’t seen the US version yet, I hope they’re still pubbing it here.
    23. Delightfully cute!

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