Cover Snark (194): The Luckiest Snark on Earth

Welcome to Cover Snark, where the people are snarky and the covers quiver in fear. Since I don’t write many snarky book reviews here on A Reader of Fictions, Cover Snark is my outlet. If you click on the title of the book, where possible, I’ve linked to Goodreads. Clicking on the cover itself will show you the cover in a larger size, in most cases. Feel free to love covers I hate and vice versa. Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

Please note that you should by no means contact the author if you do not like their cover; they likely have ZERO control. Feel free to express opinions in the comments, but please do not @ an author on Twitter because of anything you’ve seen here. Let’s keep it kind.

Shiny and New:

1. The Silver Gate (Untitled #1) – Kristin Bailey
The Silver Gate - Kristin Bailey
Thoughts: Prince Charming stumbles across the humble Cinderella and her Chicken.

2. Forever, or for a Long Time – Caela Carter
Forever, or for a Long Time - Caela Carter
Thoughts: All the dead kings from the past are up there.

3. The Charming Life of Izzy Malone – Jenny Lundquist
The Charming Life of Izzy Malone - Jenny Lundquist
Thoughts: Her life’s going to be quite a bit less charming when she grows a couple inches and doesn’t fit in her sweet tree house anymore.

4. Secret Origins (Story Thieves #3) – James Riley
Secret Origins (Story Thieves) - James Riley
Thoughts: The fonts let down the amazingness of the art a bit, but those kids are adorbs.

5. Rebels (Randoms #2) – David Liss
Rebels - David Liss
Thoughts: If he showed up to school like that, he would get picked on like whoa. Maybe by the cat lady.

6. Silence Fallen (Mercy Thompson #10) – Patricia Briggs
Silence Fallen - Patricia Briggs
Thoughts: I whip my hair back and forth.

7. Congress of Secrets – Stephanie Burgis
Congress of Secrets - Stephanie Burgis
Thoughts: A white rose. How ordinary.

8. One Size Fits All: A Romantic Comedy Anthology
One Size Fits All A Romantic Comedy Anthology
Thoughts: Don’t you love how she’s super excited to look at someone/something else. Good try, Mr. Muscles. She ain’t want none.

9. Honestly Ben (Openly Straight #2) – Bill Konigsberg
Honestly Ben (Openly Straight #2) - Bill Konigsberg
Thoughts: Okay for once I am positive this is ACTUALLY a bisexual love triangle. YAS.

10. The Luckiest Scar on Earth – Ana Maria Spagna
The Luckiest Scar on Earth - Ana Maria Spagna
Thoughts: You may think so now, but wait until Simba comes back and your hyenas turn on you.

11. Given to the Sea – Mindy McGinnis
Given to the Sea - Mindy McGinnis
Thoughts: I feel like the concept is great, but the execution is poor. As it is, it looks a bit like I cover I’d expect to find on a fantasy novel from the 1980s.

12. The Valiant – Lesley Livingston
The Valiant - Lesley Livingston
Thoughts: Not totally sure how I feel about that title font, but badass woman with a fist of don’t fuck with me yessss.

13. The Roanoke Girls – Amy Engel
The Roanoke Girls - Amy Engel
Thoughts: They’ve lost it.

14. The Summer Before Forever (Before Forever #1) – Melissa Chambers
The Summer Before Forever - Melissa Chambers
Thoughts: “OTHERS GIVE YOU THE TOOLS TO MEND [YOUR HEART]” *covers book in barf and loathing*

15. Hear the Wolves – Victoria Scott
Hear the Wolves - Victoria Scott
Thoughts: The font trembling in the cold is a neat idea but not so great in execution.

16. Definitions of Indefinable Things – Whitney Taylor
Definitions of Indefinable Things - Whitney Taylor
Thoughts: I smell a ship in the way they obviously cannot stand to look at one another.

17. The House of Binding Thorns (Dominion of the Fallen #2) – Aliette de Bodard
The House of Binding Thorns (Dominion of the Fallen #2) - Aliette de Bodard
Thoughts: *snores*

18. Guardian of Secrets (Library Jumpers #2) – Brenda Drake
Guardian of Secrets (Library Jumpers #2) - Brenda Drake
Thoughts: His superhero name is THE PURPLETRATOR.

19. Just Friends – Monica Murphy
Just Friends - Monica Murphy
Thoughts: Bitch better buy me a new lollipop.

20. A Psalm for Lost Girls – Katie Bayerl
A Psalm for Lost Girls - Katie Bayerl
Thoughts: It’s a performance psalm. Must be for those Roanoke girls.

21. Fire Color One – Jenny Valentine
Fire Color One -Jenny Valentine
Thoughts: This makes me want to set paintrbushes on fire to see what happens.

22. Bull – David Elliot
Bull -David Elliot
Thoughts: Love the adorable little song and the U in the title as the nosering. Very clever cover.

23. Cold Summer – Gwen Cole
Cold Summer – Gwen Cole
Thoughts: Clearly this has been created by the conservative agenda. :-p

24. Only Fools Jump – K.P. Haigh
Only Fools Jump - K.P. Haigh
Thoughts: Unless some kid used the pool as a bathroom, only fools don’t jump in.

25. Vial Things (Resurrectionist #1) – Leah Clifford
Vial Things - Leah Clifford
Thoughts: A for title. B- for cover.

26. The Sweet Sister – C. David Belt
The Sweet Sister - C. David Belt
Thoughts: Fluffy!

27. When a Marquess Loves a Woman – Vivienne Lorret
When a Marquess Loves a Woman - Vivienne Lorret
Thoughts: The ton will not approve one bit.

28. The Odds of Loving Grover Cleveland – Rebekah Crane
The Odds of Loving Grover Cleveland - Rebekah Crane
Thoughts: Given how long he’s been dead, the odds are pretty low.

29. A Crack in the Sea – H.M. Bouwman
A Crack in the Sea - H.M. Bouwman
Thoughts: Is this a Biblical reference?

30. The Adventures of Henry Whiskers – Gigi Priebe
The Adventures of Henry Whiskers - Gigi Priebe
Thoughts: Looks like someone ratted on Henry’s location.

31. The Harlem Charade – Natasha Tarpley
The Harlem Charade - Natasha Tarpley
Thoughts: My secret is that I am petrified of fire escapes.

32. The Homework Strike – Greg Pincus
The Homework Strike - Greg Pincus
Thoughts: NO EXAMINATION WITHOUT REPRESENTATION

33. Me and Marvin Gardens – A.S. King
Me and Marvin Gardens - Amy Sarig King
Thoughts: Is Marvin Gardens the name of a kid, of that pig or of the garden he’s broken into?

34. The Case of the Counterfeit Criminals (The Wollstronecraft Detective Agency #3) – Jordan Stratford
The Case of the Counterfeit Criminals (The Wollstronecraft Detective Agency #3) - Jordan Stratford
Thoughts: I want to mary this cover design.

35. The Lotterys Plus One – Emma Donoghue
The Lotterys Plus One - Emma Donoghue
Thoughts: I would so have claimed that tower room.

36. The Goldfish Boy – Lisa Thompson
The Goldfish Boy - Lisa Thompson
Thoughts: Goldfish testimony is rarely accepted in court.

37. The Wizard’s Dog – Eric Kahn Gale
The Wizard's Dog - Eric Kahn Gale
Thoughts: This dog could literally not be more excited about being a wizard’s dog.

38. The Icarus Show – Sally Christie
The Icarus Show - Sally Christie
Thoughts: I believe a boy could fly but also that gravity’s very powerful.

39. Otherwise Known as Possum – Maria D. Laso
Otherwise Known as Possum - Maria D. Lason
Thoughts: Cousin Itt tries out braids.

40. Interborough (Five Boroughs #4) – Santino Hassell
Interborough (Five Boroughs #) - Santino Hassell
Thoughts: Okay, so I’m it’s not the most original cover ever but those abs are damn fine, and he’s not as overly muscled as most romance cover dudes. Yum.

41. This Above All – Lindsey Roth Culli
This Above All - Lindsey Roth Culli
Thoughts: The cover’s the thing.

42. Painless – Jamie Mayer
Painless - Jamie Mayer
Thoughts: Anyone else thinking about the Fearless series?

Cover Battles:

1. Game On (Lewis Creek #2) – Michelle Smith

Game On (Lewis Creek #2) -Michelle Smith
Game On - Michelle Smith

Spencer Hill vs. Bloomsbury: Publisher change mid-series. Intriguing… I like the new cover, but I liked the old one too. I think this one’s more marketable, since it clearly says “hey, Kenneally fans, come and get it!”

2. The Goose Girl (The Books of Bayern #1) – Shannon Hale

The Goose Girl - Shannon Hale
The Goose Girl - Shannon Hale
The Goose Girl - Shannon Hale redesign

US Original vs. US Redesign 1 vs. US Redesign 2: Nothing will ever beat the original for me. But I love that title font.

3. Enna Burning (The Books of Bayern #1) – Shannon Hale

Enna Burning (The Books of Bayern #1) - Shannon Hale
Enna Burning (The Books of Bayern #1) - Shannon Hale pb
Enna Burning (The Books of Bayern #1) - Shannon Hale redesign

US Original vs. US Redesign 1 vs. US Redesign 2: Fire is rarely done well on book cover, but this is excellent. The figure of the girl on the other hand…

4. River Secrets (The Books of Bayern #1) – Shannon Hale

River Secrets (The Books of Bayern #1) - Shannon Hale hb
River Secrets (The Books of Bayern #1) - Shannon Hale pb
River Secrets (The Books of Bayern #1) - Shannon Hale

US Original vs. US Redesign 1 vs US Redesign 2: Okay I’m pretty well won over. THESE TITLE FONTS.

5. Forest Born (The Books of Bayern #1) – Shannon Hale

Forest Born
Forest Born (The Books of Bayern #1) - Shannon Hale special

US Hardback vs. US Special Edition vs. US Redesign: I can’t take it anymore. *swoons* (Though holy shit I didn’t know about that special edition gah must resist).

6. Opposition (Lux #5) – Jennifer L. Armentrout

Opposition - Jennifer L. Armentrout
Opposition (Lux #5) - Jennifer L. Armentrout

US Original vs. US Redesign: He’s checking out the cameraman and she’s looking for her purse to get out of her.

7. Dreaming the Bear – Mimi Thebo

Dreaming the Bear - Mimi Thebo uk
Dreaming the Bear - Mimi Thebo

UK vs. US: The question is whether dream bears can still eat you.

8. The Impossible Clue – Sarah Rubin

The Impossible Clue - Sarah Rubin uk
The Impossible Clue - Sarah Rubin

UK vs. US: Girl detective getting shit done and rocking at math and science. Holla.

WTF of the Week:

WTF of the Week began as a special category for one cover I saw, but was so popular it became a recurring feature. Here, I highlight covers, both new and old, that I’ve found, which, upon viewing, made me either snort or say something along the lines of “Dear God, what is that thing?”

1. Secrets Revealed (The MysticSeeker Series #3) – N.L. Greene
Secrets Revealed - N.L. Greene
Thoughts: Hey girl, how you like my shiny ball?

2. No More Regrets – Tamra Lassiter
No More Regrets - Tamra Lassiter
Thoughts: Nah, they’ll definitely regret putting their kissy faces in the wedding ring eventually.

3. Conviction – Lesley Jones
Conviction - Lesley Jones
Thoughts: EDWINA SCISSORBODY.

5 responses to “Cover Snark (194): The Luckiest Snark on Earth”

  1. lissa says:

    #1 – I like it though I’m wondering why they do not have eyes…

    #39 – cute cover

    not many good covers though the goose girl series have pretty font titles

    have a lovely day.
    lissa recently posted…Top Ten Thursday: 80’s SongsMy Profile

  2. 1. I don’t know what’s with all these grayish blue fantasy covers. I’m not a fan. But I love the illustration and design.
    2. LION KIIIING. Cute (I like the illustrations) but it doesn’t grab me for some reason.
    3. Adorable.
    8. Oh my LORD.
    9. Cute!! I need to read Openly Straight.
    11. YES. Very disappointed. I like the idea but not the blurriness or radioactive color of the water.
    12. I am SO EXCITED for this book.
    16. The main character’s name is Snake……. no.
    18. He reminds me a little of a grown up Casper.
    22. This is really interesting and unique, I like it a lot! It would definitely catch my eye.
    24. I am super into this adorable summery cover. Meep.
    25. CONSTANT VIGILANCE.
    34. It’s so prettyyyyy, especially the title box!
    3. I would buy this book just for the new cover. Prettyyyyy.
    4. MORE PRETTY OMG.
    5. Guess I need this series.

  3. 1. I am so into this style lately – I’m loving it! The book also sounds really great. Preface to my next question: I hardly ever read MG unless it is to reread childhood favourites. When did MG get to be so long? 320 pages is a lot of pages for that age group!

    2. This style is interesting too! I love the way the title is written. And reading the description, this looks like it would be a book to make you weep!

    3. Cuuuute

    8. LOL! How did this not end up in the WTF? section 😉

    10. For some reason the title makes me feel icky!

    11. This is a photoshop mess.

    Cover Battles

    5. I think the new cover was left off?

    Also if you take any submissions, I saw that Walk Two Moons by Sharon Creech has a new cover for its 20th anniversary (https://www.amazon.ca/Walk-Two-Moons-Sharon-Creech/dp/0330397834)
    Rachelia (Bookish Comforts) recently posted…{Review} Orange is the New Black by Piper KermanMy Profile

  4. Pamela says:

    I can’t get over #1 and how the girl is half the size of the guy. Is she just very short? Is he very tall? That would be awkward kissing if they are supposed to be together…

  5. THE PURPLETRATOR

    *laughing forever*

    Seriously though thank youuuu for bringing the Opposition redesign to my attention. Now I can finally complete my series o_o I was dreading it this whole time because all my books are signed and I had the old design. I think I totally want to do a reread and finish the series this year. That was some good crack.
    Debby (Snuggly Oranges) recently posted…ARC Book Review: Vicarious by Paula StokesMy Profile

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