Cover Snark (191): No Good Snark Goes Unpunished

Welcome to Cover Snark, where the people are snarky and the covers quiver in fear. Since I don’t write many snarky book reviews here on A Reader of Fictions, Cover Snark is my outlet. If you click on the title of the book, where possible, I’ve linked to Goodreads. Clicking on the cover itself will show you the cover in a larger size, in most cases. Feel free to love covers I hate and vice versa. Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

Please note that you should by no means contact the author if you do not like their cover; they likely have ZERO control. Feel free to express opinions in the comments, but please do not @ an author on Twitter because of anything you’ve seen here. Let’s keep it kind.

Shiny and New:

1. Spindle Fire – Lexa Hillyer
Spindle Fire - Lexa Hillyer
Thoughts: This IS a fairy tale.

2. Eclipse the Flame (Ignite the Shadows #2) – Ingrid Seymour
Eclipse the Flame - Ingrid Seymour
Thoughts: Let’s all yellow about the awesomeness of this.

3. Cursed (Fear Street Saga) – R.L. Stine
Cursed (Fear Street Saga) - R.L. Stine
Thoughts: Wasn’t building your house out of paper kind of asking for this?

4. Rise of Fire (Reign of Shadows #2) – Sophie Jordan
Rise of Fire (Reign of Shadows #2) - Sophie Jordan
Thoughts: *jams out to Nothing but Flowers*

5. No Good Dragon Goes Unpunished (Heartstrikers #3) – Rachel Aaron
No Good Dragon Goes Unpunished (Heartstrikers #3) - Rachel Aaron
Thoughts: Will I ever tire of badass lady covers? NEVER.

6. Fall of Thrones and Thorns (Threats of Sky and Sea #3) – Jennifer Ellision
Fall of Thrones and Thorns (Threats of Sky and Sea #3) - Jennifer Ellision
Thoughts: In case it wasn’t already clear that these titles were inspired by Sarah J. Maas…

7. Etched in Bone (The Others #5) – Anne Bishop
Etched in Bone (The Others #5) - Anne Bishop
Thoughts: Meg’s got cool hair but these covers are mehhhh.

8. Gem & Dixie – Sara Zarr
Gem & Dixie - Sara Zarr
Thoughts: Gem and Dixie are both shockingly bad at putting down blankets.

9. Overexposed (In Focus #4) – Megan Erickson
Overexposed - Megan Erickson
Thoughts: Ironically, this guy is wearing the most clothing I have ever seen on a romance cover.

10. Show Me How (Thatch #2.5) – Molly McAdams
Show Me How - Molly McAdams
Thoughts: I swear I’ve seen this cover on a YA book. A digital cookie to anyone who can tell me what book! UPDATE: The digital cookies went to Rachel (Beauty and the Bookshelf). This cover was already used on The Truth About You and Me by Amanda Grace.

11. Devil in Spring (The Ravenels #1) – Lisa Kleypas
Devil in Spring - Lisa Kleypas
Thoughts: Put some mirrors there in place of trees, and this is a Selection cover.

12. At the Sign of the Crow and Moon (Sorcery Ascendant Sequence #0.5) – Mitchell Hogan
At the Sign of the Crow and Moon - Mitchell Hogan
Thoughts: Dualwielding in an awesome coat. Yessss.

13. The Mark of the King – Jocelyn Green
The Mark of the King - Jocelyn Green
Thoughts: The mark’s a tramp stamp under there, isn’t it?

14. The End of Our Story – Meg Haston
The End of Our Story - Meg Haston
Thoughts: Puts the kiss in kiss off.

15. 100 Hours (Untitled Trilogy #1)- Rachel Vincent
100 Hours - Rachel Vincent
Thoughts: This looks like a shitty reality show.

16. The Body Market (The Wired #2) – Donna Freitas
The Body Market (Unplugged #2) - Donna Freitas
Thoughts: She took the red pill.

17. Looking for Group – Rory Harrison
Looking for Group - Rory Harrison
Thoughts: Follow the swerving tire track road.

18. Beheld (Kendra Chronicles #4) – Alex Flinn
Beheld - Alex Flinn
Thoughts: Seriously, what is it with crows and fantasy covers? But whatever I want that dress and generally just this whole thing is boss.

19. Silver Stars (Soldier Girl #2) – Michael Grant
Silver Stars - Michael Grant
Thoughts: Tanks a lot.

20. Ones and Zeroes (Mirador #2) – Dan Wells
Ones and Zeroes - Dan Wells
Thoughts: How do you say YASSSS in binary?

21. Dare You (Nikki Kill #2) – Jennifer Brown
Dare You - Jennifer Brown
Thoughts: HOW DARE YOU ROOT FOR THAT SPORTSKETBALL TEAM?!?

22. Ronit & Jamil – Pamela L. Laskin
Ronit & Jamil - Pamela L. Laskin
Thoughts: I can open your eyes Take you wonder by wonder Over sideways and under On a magic cloud ride

23. Long May She Reign – Rhiannon Thomas
Long May She Reign - Rhiannon Thomas
Thoughts: If I could save Hogwarts in a bottle…

24. Freedom’s Slave (Dark Caravan Cycle #3) – Heather Demetrios
Freedom's Slave - Heather Demetrios
Thoughts: Was she kidnapped by a bird? Or is that just a really intense runway fashion?

25. Hunted (Hunted #1) – Meagan Spooner
Hunted - Meagan Spooner
Thoughts: Pretty weak fairy tale cover game with this one tbh. Keep hunting.

26. Run the Risk (On the Edge #3) – Allison van Diepen
Run the Risk - Allison van Diepen
Thoughts: The amount that these covers look like Simone Elkeles covers is painful.

27. The Freemason’s Daughter – Shelley Sackier
The Freemason's Daughter - Shelley Sackier
Thoughts: Hair on fleek for the Miss Freemason pageant.

28. Lucky Girl – Amanda Maciel
Lucky Girl - Amanda Maciel
Thoughts: Doesn’t it look like Marissa from The OC got super drunk and just woke up in this field confused?

29. Literally – Lucy Keating
Literally - Lucy Keating
Thoughts: It kills me that her shorts don’t match the title.

30. The Someday Birds – Sally J. Pla
The Someday Birds - Sally J. Pla
Thoughts: Two wings way way up.

31. A Good Idea – Cristina Moracho
A Good Idea - Cristina Moracho
Thoughts: Do not listen to this cover, kids. Bathing in that tub is bad idea bears.

32. Words in Deep Blue – Cath Crowley
Words in Deep Blue - Cath Crowley
Thoughts: Background in deep blue. Words in newsprint.

33. The Alchemists of Loom (Loom Saga #1) – Elise Kova
The Alchemists of Loom - Elise Kova
Thoughts: Probably my least favorite of the Kova covers because the shiny purple eyes make me think of all the purple-eyed book characters but still lovely artwork as always.

34. The Wall of Fame Game (The Magnificent Mya Tibbs #2) – Crystal Allen
The Wall of Fame Game (The Magnificent Mya Tibbs #1) - Crystal Allen
Thoughts: Her hat has eyebrows.

35. Snow Fright – Amie & Bethanie Borst
Snow Fright - Amie & Bethanie Borst
Thoughts: Instead of dwarves, she has seven zombie friends: Grrargh, Drooly, Dig, Hungry, Shambly, Shuffly, and Braaaaaaains.

36. Cupcake Overload – Bethany Lopez
Cupcake Overload - Bethany Lopez
Thoughts: Looks like this is about a girl who didn’t listen to her mom, ate ten cupcakes, went swimming, got a cramp, and drowned.

37. Hero Grown (Seeds of Destiny #2) – Andy Livingstone
Hero Grown - Andy Livingstone
Thoughts: I camel, I saw, I conquered.

38. King’s Cage (Red Queen #3) – Victoria Aveyard
King's Cage (Red Queen #3) - Victoria Aveyard
Thoughts: My least favorite of the three, I think, but these covers are all fantastic so oh well.

39. Venom and Steel (The Frey Saga #4) – Melissa Wright
Venom and Steel (The Frey Saga #4) - Melissa Wright
Thoughts: She’s wearing a buttflap.

40. 10 Things I Can See from Here – Carrie Mac
10 Things I Can See from Here - Carrie Mac
Thoughts: I love text-focused covers, but I don’t think this one’s quite interesting enough to pull off something so close to monochromatic. Though if the finished copy is textured right, this could still rock.

41. A Crown of Wishes (The Star-Touched Queen #2) – Roshani Chokshi
'A Crown of Wishes (The Star-Touched Queen #2) - Roshani Chokshi
Thoughts: So glad they didn’t put a crown on it. And really horses are underutilized on book covers

42. A Boy Called Bat – Elana K. Arnold
A Boy Called Bat - Elana K. Arnold
Thoughts: He’s gonna be called skunk forever if he gets sprayed.

Cover Battles:

1. The Silence of Six (SOS Thriller) – E.C. Myers

The Silence of Six - E.C. Myers
The Silence of Six (SOS Thriller) - E.C. Myers

US Hardback vs. US Paperback: Well, it’s definitely creepier.

2. Firebug (Firebug #1) – Lish McBride

Firebug – Lish McBride
Firebug - Lish McBride

US Hardback vs. US Paperback: BLESS THIS REDESIGN!

3. Dark Sons – Nikki Grimes

Dark Sons - Nikki Grimes 2007
Dark Sons - Nikki Grimes 2010
Dark Sons - Nikki Grimes 2017

US 2007 vs. US 2010 vs. US 2017: Though it’s not a big change, the blue background does make the cover pop a bit more.

4. Bleeding Earth – Kaitlin Ward

Bleeding Earth - Kaitlin Ward
Bleeding Earth - Kaitlin Ward

US Hardback vs. US Paperback: Bloody fantastic.

5. All We Left Behind – Ingrid Sundberg

All We Left Behind - Ingrid Sundberg original
All We Left Behind - Ingrid Sundberg

US Hardback vs. US Paperback: It’s more original but also OMFG BUGS WHY.

6. Belle (Once Upon a Time #14) – Cameron Dokey

Belle (Once Upon a Time) - Cameron Dokey
Belle (Once Upon a Time) - Cameron Dokey 2011
Belle (Once Upon a Time) - Cameron Dokey 2017

US 2008 vs. US 2011 vs. US 2017: Probably due for a modernization, but it does look a bit like it’s marketing for the people into Twilight, and it’s a bit late for that.

7. Duels & Deception – Cindy Anstey

Duels & Deception - Cindy Anstey
Duels & Deception - Cindy Anstey

US Take 1 vs. US Take 2: I love this because you can see how they took a good concept and really made it work.

8. Radio Silence – Alice Oseman

Radio Silence - Alice Oseman
Radio Silence - Alice Oseman

UK vs. US: It’s really hard to make a cover with a face on it stand out anymore, so I’ll take the US cover.

WTF of the Week:

WTF of the Week began as a special category for one cover I saw, but was so popular it became a recurring feature. Here, I highlight covers, both new and old, that I’ve found, which, upon viewing, made me either snort or say something along the lines of “Dear God, what is that thing?”

1. Bark to the Future (An Alpine Grove Romantic Comedy #5) – Susan C. Daffron
Bark to the Future - Susan C. Daffron
Thoughts: 1.21 gigawoofs?! 1.21 gigawoofs?! Great Scotty!

2. Cowboy Lust (Bakersville Saga #3-4) – Helen Hardt
Cowboy Lust (Bakersville Saga #3-4) - Helen Hardt
Thoughts: The love of a man and his horse.

3. Desert Rising (Desert Rising #1) – Kelley Grant
Desert Rising - Kelley Grant
Thoughts: They attached a cheetah head to another cat body.

7 responses to “Cover Snark (191): No Good Snark Goes Unpunished”

  1. Brittney says:

    #10. Same cover image as You Before Anyone Else by Julie Cross & Mark Perini

  2. Joanne Levy says:

    Is it just me or does #9 (taking the title and the art together) make you think it’s about a flasher? I mean, he looks like he’s about to take his hoodie off in the woods, maybe next to a schoolyard? What/who is he looking at so intently? *shiver* (I actually clicked through to the description, I was THAT convinced.)

    #10 she looks like she’s sucking something from his nose.

    #37 I don’t want to be all negative here, so I will say that I love this one. 🙂
    Joanne Levy recently posted…How to Show Love to an AuthorMy Profile

  3. Dahlia Adler says:

    OK I wanted to read that Amanda Maciel book anyway because I really liked TEASE but “Doesn’t it look like Marissa from The OC got super drunk and just woke up in this field confused?” made me want it a billion times more.

    Also, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a cover battle here as unanimous as BLEEDING EARTH, which is interesting because I actually like the original cover too. I just think the new one is cooler.

    I am obsessed with Roshani Chokshi’s covers. Just obsessed. And I’d never heard of THE SOMEDAY BIRDS but that is one of my faaaaves here. And that new Cristina Maracho book cover is creepy AF. That book sounds so good.

  4. Angie says:

    I kinda wanna make out with the Spindle Fire cover. Just a little bit. That’s totally normal right?

    The covers for The Others series are so blah. Hopefully Etched in Bone is good though. I was not impressed with the last book.

    Will I ever get tired of pretty dress covers (the answer is no, never)

    OMG NEW CATH CROWLEY BOOK FINALLY YAAAAAAS. And I don’t hate the cover so even better.

    I’m so bored by all the other covers except A Crown of Wishes because those colors and that dress and HORSE, I have such needs.

    I love the redesign for Firebug so much, I’m glad I waited to buy it.
    Angie recently posted…Monthly Wrap-Up: JuneMy Profile

  5. Lesley says:

    As far as King’s Cage is concerned, I like the darker blue but I could take or leave the crown. What really bugs me is the title doesn’t line up next to the others in the series. It just screws with my head!
    Lesley recently posted…Since We Last SpokeMy Profile

  6. At the Sign of the Crow and Moon; such an amazing cover for a novella!
    Alex Flinn has pretty covers for her retellings and it makes me want to give this a shot, even though I know I should not do it (her previous books also haven’t worked for me..)
    I’m obsessed with the cover from Spindle Fire. SO pretty and what I expect from a fairytale. But Hunted is disappointing. It does not look like a final cover.
    A crown of wishes: I loooove that purple dress and how it flows.
    The cover from Firebug is a big improvement!
    Mel@thedailyprophecy recently posted…Review 261. Brittany Cavallaro – A Study in Charlotte.My Profile

  7. 1. I love the Spindle Fire cover design, it’s fairy tale perfect! I’m not sure if I love the colors though.
    6. This looks more obviously photoshopped than the other covers in the series. Not a huge fan.
    7. Once upon a time I wanted my hair to look exactly like that.
    11. Umm. I’m in love with that dress and the sparkly background. I might have to buy this book.
    12. This is an awesome fantasy cover 😀
    14. Really cool, I love this cover. But I don’t like the sound of it, more kissing please hahah.
    18. I wish I liked this author’s books because THAT COVER. So Halloween and fairy taleish. Plus the back of that dress is exquisite.
    23. Hogwarts in a bottle omg.
    25. So massively disappointed in this cover.
    38. I still like the first cover best, they’re all too similar for me :/
    41. Really gorgeous, I love the colors. Now I need to read the first book!
    7. Yes, that’s an excellent way to put it! It’s like seeing a rough and final draft. Love.

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