Size Doesn’t Matter (47): Mini Reviews by a Lazy Blogger

Size Doesn’t Matter (47): Mini Reviews by a Lazy BloggerA Week to Be Wicked by Tessa Dare
Series: Spindle Cove #2
Published by Avon on March 27, 2012
Genres: Historical, Romance, Humor
Pages: 356
Format: Paperback
Source: Gifted
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four-half-stars

When a devilish lord and a bluestocking set off on the road to ruin... time is not on their side.

Minerva Highwood, one of Spindle Cove's confirmed spinsters, needs to be in Scotland.

Colin Sandhurst, Lord Payne, a rake of the first order, needs to be... anywhere but Spindle Cove.

These unlikely partners have one week to
• fake an elopement
• convince family and friends they're in "love"
• outrun armed robbers
• survive their worst nightmares
• travel four hundred miles without killing each other
All while sharing a very small carriage by day and an even smaller bed by night.

What they don't have time for is their growing attraction. Much less wild passion. And heaven forbid they spend precious hours baring their hearts and souls.

Suddenly one week seems like exactly enough time to find a world of trouble. And maybe... just maybe... love.

I got Gillian addicted to Tessa Dare by sending her When a Scot Ties the Knot. She then proceeded to outstrip me in Tessa Dare reading. She even sent me the first two Spindle Cove books as a subtle nudge to FUCKING READ THEM ALREADY OMG. A Week to Be Wicked was one of her tippy top favorites, so it’s no surprise to find out it’s one of mine as well.

Plotwise, A Week to Be Wicked is definitely not my favorite Dare novel, but the ship is on point. Ironically ship is often where she’s a bit weaker. Her books are funny, but the ships are often more like “yes, that’s quite pleasant” rather than a frenzy of flailswooning as they should be. Colin and Minerva have just the perfect grumpy banter to send me into that sort of frenzy. They are so cute and I love them.

The frame plot of Minerva, the blue stocking obsessed with rocks, accepting scandal in order to present her findings to a geological society I very much love. However, it’s also basically embarrassment porn, along with some regular porn. So many completely absurd and terrible things happen to Miranda and Colin on the way. I think I probably would have preferred the book that was actually more about the conference, but then again I wouldn’t have gotten the delightful scene where Min plays his mistress so who knows. It just got a bit overdramatic for me at times, but there’s no denying how funny this book is.

A Week to Be Wicked is one of Dare’s best ships and it’s absolutely hysterical. Seriously, why does everyone in the world not read Spindle Cove and Castles Ever After?

I received this book for free from Publisher in exchange for an honest review. This does not affect my opinion of the book or the content of my review.

Size Doesn’t Matter (47): Mini Reviews by a Lazy BloggerMy Lady Jane by Cynthia Hand, Brodi Ashton, Jodi Meadows
Published by HarperTeen on June 7, 2016
Genres: Alternate History, Romance, Humor
Pages: 512
Format: ARC
Source: Publisher
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three-half-stars

For fans of The Princess Bride comes the comical, fantastical, romantical, (not) entirely true story of Lady Jane Grey.

Lady Jane Grey, sixteen, is about to be married to a total stranger—and caught up in an insidious plot to rob her cousin, King Edward, of his throne. But that’s the least of Jane’s problems. She’s about to become Queen of England. Like that could go wrong.

My Lady Jane obviously had me salivating, even though I wasn’t sure how on earth this premise could really work. Turns out it works like a blend of The Princess Bride, Reign, and Ladyhawke.

Comparisons aren’t always on point in marketing, but they got it on the nose with The Princess Bride. Only imagine more nudity. A lot more. I think they do a really nice job with the humor, ranging from clever references that not everyone will get to wordplay to baser humor. The book made me chuckle on many an occasion. I did find my interest waning a bit towards the end as it got more into the plot and less into the sillies.

Throw history out the window before you read this. Seriously, defenestrate that fucker. Otherwise, you might find My Lady Jane frustrating, even though the authors do warn you over and over with their many asides. The one that got me was Gifford being Shakespeare, which was both funny but also grated a bit. Obviously people who live who should have died. But also they’re shifters so I mean what did we really expect?

Full points for being original and funny, but I wasn’t really attached to any of the characters. The romance between Gifford and Jane could have been really shippy, but I found that, as they liked each other more, the cute joking banter subsided a bit. I just wasn’t really there for the romances, which is weird for me.

If you’re looking for a laugh, you won’t go wrong with My Lady Jane.

I received this book for free from Publisher in exchange for an honest review. This does not affect my opinion of the book or the content of my review.

Size Doesn’t Matter (47): Mini Reviews by a Lazy BloggerChimera by Mira Grant
Series: Parasitology #3
Published by Orbit on November 24, 2015
Pages: 496
Format: Hardcover
Source: Publisher
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two-stars

The final book in Mira Grant's terrifying Parasitology trilogy.

The outbreak has spread, tearing apart the foundations of society, as implanted tapeworms have turned their human hosts into a seemingly mindless mob.

Sal and her family are trapped between bad and worse, and must find a way to compromise between the two sides of their nature before the battle becomes large enough to destroy humanity, and everything that humanity has built...including the chimera.

The broken doors are closing. Can Sal make it home?

If I wanted to, I could probably write a long rant about Chimera and Parasitology as a whole. But I’m too disappointed and I just don’t fucking care enough, which is really the biggest problem. After finally being won over by book one, books two and three frustrated me no end, and I’m left just glad that it’s over.

The plot of both Symbiont and Chimera can be summed up in one word: kidnapping. For 1000 pages, someone is always getting kidnapped. Then they have to go rescue them. Then they’re all so happy to be together again for like two chapters. Then someone gets kidnapped. Usually it’s Sal, but sometimes it’s other people for variety (see: Tansy, see most of Dr. Cale’s team). I’m sick of the kidnapping, and I’m sick of Sal’s stupid sacrificial rescue plans. I’m sick of it all.

After Parasite, I was riding high. I loved the whole cast so much. That held in through much of Symbiont, but by just a bit of the way into Chimera, I no longer gave a shit about anyone. There’s no character development. They all end the same way they were at the start. Basically the only change anyone goes through is Sal finding a chimera kid and deciding she has major mom feels. OH BOY WHAT A NECESSARY PLOT ELEMENT. The villains are boring and flat. The heroes are too.

Read the hell out of Newsflesh. Maybe don’t read this.

One response to “Size Doesn’t Matter (47): Mini Reviews by a Lazy Blogger”

  1. Gillian says:

    COLIN AND MIN 5 EVAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

    lol the plot is obviously the most absurd but it’s basically an excuse for hilariousness and shippy ship and sexy sex so what do I even care

    IM STILL SO FRIGHTENED OF MY LADY JANE. GAHHH. I know it’s so very much my jam but also so very much NOT which is confusing so idkkk your review did not make me less stressed with that Gifford/Guildford as Shakespeare thing which OKAY, I WILL TRY IT, WE SHALL SEE, PRAY FOR ME
    Gillian recently posted…Top Ten Reasons I Love High FantasyMy Profile

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