Cover Snark (190): The Snark Beyond Time

Welcome to Cover Snark, where the people are snarky and the covers quiver in fear. Since I don’t write many snarky book reviews here on A Reader of Fictions, Cover Snark is my outlet. If you click on the title of the book, where possible, I’ve linked to Goodreads. Clicking on the cover itself will show you the cover in a larger size, in most cases. Feel free to love covers I hate and vice versa. Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

Please note that you should by no means contact the author if you do not like their cover; they likely have ZERO control. Feel free to express opinions in the comments, but please do not @ an author on Twitter because of anything you’ve seen here. Let’s keep it kind.

Shiny and New:

1. A Pizza My Heart: An Anthology – Jolene Haley, ed.
A Pizza My Heart An Anthology - Jolene Haley
Thoughts: SAUCY.

2. Once Broken Faith (October Daye #10) – Seanan McGuire
Once Broken Faith (October Daye #) - Seanan McGuire
Thoughts: The title font makes me cringe, but, if I ignore it, I’m a fan.

3. Level Grind (The Twenty-Sided Sorceress #1-4) – Annie Bellet
Level Grind (The Twenty-Sided Sorceress #1) - Annie Bellet
Thoughts: The orange is a bit much and the author’s name looks like part of the title, but otherwise YES.

4. Boss Fight (Twenty-Sided Sorceress #5-7) – Annie Bellet
Boss Fight (Twenty-Sided Sorceress #5-7) - Annie Bellet
Thoughts: Now she has a lightsaber!

5. The Surrendered – Case Maynard
The Surrendered - Case Maynard
Thoughts: This country is going to the birds.

6. Spectacle (Menagerie #2) – Rachel Vincent
Spectacle (Menagerie #2) - Rachel Vincent
Thoughts: Clearly this designer is very TALONted.

7. Blood of the Prophet (The Fourth Element #2) – Kat Ross
Blood of the Prophet (The Fourth Element #2) - Kat Ross
Thoughts: This bracelet features winged goats forever butting heads.

8. American Street – Ibi Zoboi
American Street - Ibi Zoboi
Thoughts: Another amazing profile cover. These may be my new catnip.

9. Realm Breaker (The Last Dragon Charmer #3) – Laurie McKay
Realm Breaker (The Last Dragon Charmer #) - Laurie McKay
Thoughts: The horse galloping after like “HOLD ON, YOU FORGOT ME!”

10. Piecing Me Together – Renée Watson
Piecing Me Together - Renee Watson
Thoughts: Looks like the cover was all done and then a kid got hold of it and added some stickers and they just decided to roll with it.

11. Blood Rose Rebellion – Rosalyn Eves
Blood Rose Rebellion - Rosalyn Eves
Thoughts: This looks like an alternate cover idea for Red Queen.

12. A Season of Daring Greatly – Ellen Emerson White
A Season of Daring Greatly - Ellen Emerson White
Thoughts: TFW the moon aspires to being a baseball.

13. The Candymakers and the Great Chocolate Chase (The Candymakers #2) – Wendy Mass
The Candymakers and the Great Chocolate Chase - Wendy Mass
Thoughts: Very few things are worth a literal chase but great chocolate definitely is.

14. The Ship Beyond Time (The Girl from Everywhere #2) – Heidi Heilig
The Ship Beyond Time (The Girl from Everywhere #2) - Heidi Heilig
Thoughts: Interesting counterpoint to The Girl from Everywhere. I definitely prefer this one as it doesn’t have a face on it and the water is making an interesting hook shape.

15. Just a Girl – Carrie Mesrobian
Just a Girl - Carrie Mesrobian
Thoughts: Oh, I’ve had it up to here!

16. Showing Off (Upside Down Magic) – Sarah Mlynowski, Lauren Myracle & Emily Jenkins
Showing Off (Upside Down Magic) - Sarah Mlynowski, Lauren Myracle & Emily Jenkins
Thoughts: That’s the exact expression Ollie makes when I force him to dance around (aka lift him up and wiggle him around).

17. Blood of Wonderland (Queen of Hearts Saga #2) – Colleen Oakes
Blood of Wonderland - Colleen Oakes
Thoughts: Creepy skirt-sniffers!

18. Escape (The Territory #2) – Sarah Govett
Escape (The Territory #2) - Sarah Govett
Thoughts: Ironically the only thing there is no escape from are these shitty dystopian covers.

19. The Hidden Memory of Objects – Danielle Mages Amato
The Hidden Memory of Objects - Danielle Mages Amato
Thoughts: That pair of scissors spends much of it’s time thinking about that time it got to cut silk. So smooth.

20. The Last of August (Charlotte Holmes #2) – Brittany Cavallaro
The Last of August (Charlotte Holmes #2) - Brittany Cavallaro
Thoughts: August 31.

21. The Release (The Prey #3) – Tom Isbell
The Release - Tom Isbell
Thoughts: If the cable car isn’t extreme enough, release the door, jump out, and swing along the cables. (note: do not do this)

22. The Other F-Word – Natasha Friend
The Other F-Word - Natasha Friend
Thoughts: I know that it wants me to think “family” bc picture and it’s even on that dude’s shirt, but also “friend” does seem like a possibility.

23. Life in a Fishbowl – Len Vlahos
Life in a Fishbowl - Len Vlahos
Thoughts: Probably a bitch to insure a house in that location.

24. Teen Hyde (High School Horror Story #2) – Chandler Baker
Teen Hyde - Chandler Baker
Thoughts: Hyde your children, hyde your wives.

25. The Weight of Memories – Cixin Liu
The Weight of Memories - Cixin Liu
Thoughts: TFW you’ve been impregnated by the sun.

26. Her Scales Shine Like Music – Rajnar Vajra
Her Scales Shine Like Music - Rajnar Vajra
Thoughts: Is this unshiny a cover a joke about how music doesn’t literally shine?

27. Ratspeak – Sarah Porter
Ratspeak - Sarah Porter
Thoughts: “BRING ME CHEESE”

28. The Key to the Coward’s Spell – Alex Bledsoe
The Key to the Coward's Spell - Alex Bledsoe
Thoughts: Gotta get the key to the coward quickly or they’ll run off and hide.

29. Chasing Truth – Julie Cross
Chasing Truth - Julie Cross
Thoughts: Looks like a lost book from the Kemmerer Elemental series.

30. The Great Pursuit (Eurona Duology #2) – Wendy Higgins
The Great Pursuit - Wendy Higgins
Thoughts: NO NECK MONSTER

31. Kindred: A Graphic Novel Adaptation – Damian Duffy, Octavia E. Butler, John Jennings
Kindred A Graphic Novel Adaptation - Damian Duffy, Octavia E. Butler, John Jennings
Thoughts: The handcuffs forming an infinity symbol is such subtle, strong commentary.

32. The Lost Girl of Astor Street – Stephanie Morrill
The Lost Girl of Astor Street - Stephanie Morrill
Thoughts: If you’re going to be lost, be lost in fabulous clothing.

33. Yours Truly (Pumpkin Falls Mystery #2) – Heather Vogel Frederick
Yours Truly ( Pumpkin Falls Mystery #1) - Heather Vogel Frederick
Thoughts: The raccoon would like to know why it has not been invited along.

34. Dalston Monstazz – Dilraj Mann
Dalston Monstazz - Dilraj Mann
Thoughts: That girl is 100% swag.

35. Optimists Die First – Susin Nielsen
Optimists Die First - Susin Nielsen
Thoughts: I want this sweater.

36. Finders Keepers (Rebels of the Lamp #2) – Peter Speakman & Michael Galvin
Finders Keepers (Rebels of the Lamp #2) - Peter Speakman & Michael Galvin
Thoughts: This looks like a Rick Riordan cover, and that’s not a compliment.

37. Missing – Kelley Armstrong
Missing - Kelley Armstrong
Thoughts: I can’t beleaf how boring this is.

38. The White Road of the Moon – Rachel Neumeier
The White Road of the Moon - Rachel Neumeier
Thoughts: *tries to rotate head in full circle*

39. Toward a Secret Sky – Heather Maclean
Toward a Secret Sky - Heather Maclean
Thoughts: These fonts are so overdone.

Cover Battles:

1. I’d Tell You I Love You, But Then I’d Have to Kill You (Gallagher Girls #1) – Ally Carter

I'd Tell You I Love You, But Then I'd Have to Kill You - Ally Carter
I'd Tell You I Love You, But Then I'd Have to Kill You - Ally Carter redesign

US Original vs. US 10th Anniversary Edition: This series was obviously due for a modernized look, but these new editions look more middle grade than YA to me, though I do like the style.

2. Summer of Supernovas – Darcy Woods

Summer of Supernovas - Darcy WoodsSummer of Supernovas - Darcy Woods german

US vs. German: Try harder, Germany. (If you’re curious, the title translates to Between You and Me the Stars.)

3. The Blade Itself (The First Law #1) – Joe Abercrombie

The Blade Itself - Joe Abercrombie pb
The Blade Itself - Joe Abercrombie mm
The Blade Itself - Joe Abercrombie 10th

UK Paperback vs. UK Mass Market vs. UK 10th Anniversary Edition: Wow, those original covers are unfortunate.

4. The Lies of Locke Lamora (Gentleman Bastard #1) – Scott Lynch

The Lies of Locke Lamora (Gentleman Bastard #1) - Scott Lynch hb
The Lies of Locke Lamora (Gentleman Bastard #1) - Scott Lynch pb
The Lies of Locke Lamora (Gentleman Bastard #1) - Scott Lynch

UK Original vs. UK Redesign vs. UK 10th Anniversary Edition: Well, the originals here are putting up more of a fight at least.

5. The Final Empire (Mistborn #1) – Brandon Sanderson

The Final Empire (Mistborn #1) - Brandon Sanderson uk pb
The Final Empire (Mistborn #1) - Brandon Sanderson

UK Original vs. UK 10th Anniversary Edition: While I like the city on the original cover, I do not like the blue swirly stuff or the font, so the 10th anniversary edition is the winning cover in my book.

6. The Stormcaller (Twilight Reign #1) – Tom Lloyd

The Stormcaller - Tom Lloyd uk original
The Stormcaller - Tom Lloyd

UK Original vs. UK 10th Anniversary Edition: I’m not massively impressed with the redesign, but it does have a dragon. I really hope they don’t just do book one for all of these series because MAN do these series need redesigns.

7. Rani Patel in Full Effect – Sonia Patel

Rani Patel in Full Effect - Sonia Patel
Rani Patel in Full Effect - Sonia Patel

US Take 1 vs. US Take 2: I like the close up on Rani and the brighter background.

8. Invisible Allies: Microbes That Shape Our Lives – Jeanette Farrell

Invisible Allies Microbes That Shape Our Lives - Jeanette Farrell original
Invisible Allies Microbes That Shape Our Lives - Jeanette Farrell

US Original vs. US Redesign: Seriously, how do they make microbes look so cute. Also, now I’m hungry.

9. Almost Autumn – Marianne Kaurin

Almost Autumn - Marianne Kaurin norwegian
Almost Autumn - Marianne Kaurin

Norwegian vs. US: Hmmmm, they’re both interesting in different ways. The Norwegian cover looks more badass though imo.

10. Spurt – Chris Miles

Spurt - Chris Miles UK
Spurt - Chris Miles

UK vs. US: Subtle, the US is not.

11. The Great Wave of Tamarind (The Book of Tamarind #3) – Nadia Aguiar

The Great Wave of Tamarind (The Book of Tamarind) - Nadia Aguiar uk
The Great Wave of Tamarind (The Book of Tamarind) - Nadia Aguiar

UK vs. US: Our wave is greater than your wave.

WTF of the Week:

WTF of the Week began as a special category for one cover I saw, but was so popular it became a recurring feature. Here, I highlight covers, both new and old, that I’ve found, which, upon viewing, made me either snort or say something along the lines of “Dear God, what is that thing?”

1. Returned (Forbidden #3) – Kimberley Griffiths Little
Returned - Kimberley Griffiths Little
Thoughts: The return of whitewashing. Wait, no, jk it never left.

2. The Tokyo Cover Girls (The Tokyo Cover Girls #1) – Jackie Amsden
The Tokyo Cover Girls (The Tokyo Cover Girls #1) - Jackie Amsden
Thoughts: If the whitewashing wasn’t upsetting enough, have some cultural appropriation.

3 responses to “Cover Snark (190): The Snark Beyond Time”

  1. lissa says:

    I didn’t quite like any of the covers plus I’m wondering if writing series is the norm now, but I do hate it when the series do not match.

    another fun read, thank you. have a lovely day.
    lissa recently posted…Three things: fan mails & summer morningsMy Profile

  2. I had no idea that was a talon. How bad is it if I thought that was a boat? Like, one of those ferryman type boats that are curved at the ends? But now that you’ve pointed it out, a talon makes a lot more sense lol.

    Haha, the moon does look like a baseball on that one cover.

    I love the cover for the Hyde book though! Mostly because red and black are my favorite colors. But it also caught my attention because I’ve been looking for Jekyll/Hyde retellings, so yay, you helped me find a book for my TBR 😀

    Btw I’m dying at your US subtlety comment lol.
    Kristen @ Metaphors and Moonlight recently posted…Bookish Randomness: Ten Awesomely Interesting Book TitlesMy Profile

  3. Jolene says:

    Hehehe, I happened upon this blog and your commentary on the covers is hilarious! Well done.

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