Cover Snark (189): We Were on a Snark

Welcome to Cover Snark, where the people are snarky and the covers quiver in fear. Since I don’t write many snarky book reviews here on A Reader of Fictions, Cover Snark is my outlet. If you click on the title of the book, where possible, I’ve linked to Goodreads. Clicking on the cover itself will show you the cover in a larger size, in most cases. Feel free to love covers I hate and vice versa. Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

Please note that you should by no means contact the author if you do not like their cover; they likely have ZERO control. Feel free to express opinions in the comments, but please do not @ an author on Twitter because of anything you’ve seen here. Let’s keep it kind.

Shiny and New:

1. A Perilous Undertaking (Veronica Speedwell #2) – Deanna Raybourn
A Perilous Undertaking (Veronica Speedwell #2) - Deanna Raybourn
Thoughts: This is like the adult, enhanced version of the original Unspoken cover, and I love it.

2. Tournament of Champions (Rip and Red #3) – Phil Bildner
Tournament of Champions - Phil Bildner
Thoughts: I feel like that basketball is moving unreasonably fast, like Space Jam fast.

3. Wrath – (The Faithful and the Fallen #4) – John Gwynne
Wrath - ( #4) - John Gwynne
Thoughts: Does that weapon have wings?

4. We Were On a Break – Lindsey Kelk
We Were On a Break - Lindsey Kelk
Thoughts: Don’t listen to Ross. Once a cheater, always a cheater.

5. Until the Sun Burns Out – Amber Garza
Until the Sun Burns Out - Amber Garza
Thoughts: Seriously, are Polaroids cool with young people? They’re on so many contemporary covers.

6. Midnight Sky (Dark Sky #2) – Amy Braun
Midnight Sky (Dark Sky #2) - Amy Braun
Thoughts: Not the most original steampunk cover (*coughs*), but it’s pleasant on the eye.

7. Saint Death – Marcus Sedgwick
Saint Death - Marcus Sedgwick
Thoughts: Gambling is the patron skull of death?

8. The Witch’s Kiss- Katharine Corr & Elizabeth Corr
The Witch's Kiss- Katharine Corr & Elizabeth Corr
Thoughts: The darkest ones probably don’t have heart shapes on the cover. Anatomical hearts, maybe.

9. Angels of Music – Kim Newman
Angels of Music - Kim Newman
Thoughts: I’m sorry to all of you reading this on your phone who momentarily worry you’ve cracked your screens.

10. At First Blush – Beth Ellyn Summer
At First Blush - Beth Ellyn Summer
Thoughts: Every book about beauty gets this tagline, but the cover’s adorable so I guess I can forgive it.

11. Through the Mirror Door – Sarah Baker
Through the Mirror Door - Sarah Baker
Thoughts: The closet had Narnia, so I’m just going to hope I end up at Hogwarts or something.

12. Girl Code: Gaming, Going Viral, and Getting It Done – Andrea Gonzales & Sophie Houser
Girl Code Gaming, Going Viral, and Getting It Done - Andrea Gonzales, Sophie Houser
Thoughts: Loathe those avatars, but otherwise hell yes to all of this.

13. Because of the Sun – Jenny Torres Sanchez
Because of the Sun - Jenny Torres Sanchez
Thoughts: Did the sun kill the TV signal? That is not cool. (lol see what I did there?)

14. The Dragon’s Price (Transference #1) – Bethany Wiggins
The Dragon's Price (Transference #) - Bethany Wiggins
Thoughts: Why would you ALMOST line up the dragon eye on the person’s eye and then NOT? That’s also a terrible-looking dragon eye and it’s all washed out and basically just why.

15. Disruptor (Seeker #3) – Arwen Elys Dayton
Disruptor (Seeker #) - Arwen Elys Dayton
Thoughts: Stabbing three swords through an eagle while it’s flight would probably be pretty disruptive, yeah.

16. The Free – Lauren McLaughlin
The Free - Lauren McLaughlin
Thoughts: Now I’m always going to see chained-link fences as trapped birds.

17. The Best We Could Do: An Illustrated Memoir – Thi Bui
The Best We Could Do An Illustrated Memoir - Thi Bui
Thoughts: Settling for San Francisco.

18. Aftermath – Clara Kensie
Aftermath - Clara Kensie
Thoughts: Cloudy with a chance of ribbons.

19. Dream Forever (The Dream Walker #3) – Kit Alloway
Dream Forever (The Dream Walker Trilogy) - Kit Alloway
Thoughts: Her forever’s not going to be very long though, since she fell asleep in the ocean.

20. Nightlights – Lorena Alvarez Gomez
Nightlights - Lorena Alvarez Gomez
Thoughts: A girl from my own heart: she wants a nightlight so she can keep reading, not because she’s scared of the monsters.

21. To Catch a Killer – Sheryl Scarborough
To Catch a Killer - Sheryl Scarborough
Thoughts: She’s luring the killer into a false sense of security by pretending to be running away when in fact it’s a cunning trap.

22. The Rise of Io – Wesley Chu
The Rise of Io - Wesley Chu
Thoughts: Loving the badass girl, but not really digging the blue soldiers.

23. It Started with Goodbye – Christina June
It Started with Goodbye - Christina June
Thoughts: I like the title treatment, but otherwise my reaction to this starts with a shrug.

24. Dead Little Mean Girl – Eva Darrows
Dead Little Mean Girl - Eva Darrows
Thoughts: Lol at the chalk outline heels.

25. The Secrets of Billie Bright – Susie Day
The Secrets of Billie Bright - Susie Day
Thoughts: So freaking cute!

26. Kid Dark Against the Machine – Tansy Rayner Roberts
Kid Dark Against The Machine - Tansy Rayner Roberts
Thoughts: I feel like those girls can handle this without Kid Dark.

27. Overturned – Lamar Giles
Overturned - Lamar Giles
Thoughts: Well, I mean, once you’re murdered, it’s not like you can try to go somewhere else what with being dead and all.

28. Poison’s Kiss (Untitled #1) – Breeana Shields
Poison's Kiss (Untitled #1) - Breeana Shields
Thoughts: The kiss may be poisonous, but this snake isn’t.

29. From Sand and Ash – Amy Harmon
From Sand and Ash - Amy Harmon
Thoughts: This looks like a cover from when I was a teen.

30. Love and Music (and Missing Ted Callahan) – Amy Spalding
Love and Music (and Missing Ted Callahan) - Amy Spalding
Thoughts: Clearly ready to take a selfie to remember him by.

31. The Boy Is Back (Boy #4) – Meg Cabot
The Boy Is Back - Meg Cabot
Thoughts: That dress is too fabulous to just fade into the background.

32. Allegedly – Tiffany D. Jackson
Allegedly - Tiffany D. Jackson
Thoughts: The cover almost manages to look as bleak as the premise sounds.

33. Wait for Me – Caroline Leech
Wait For Me - Caroline Leech
Thoughts: I’m leavin’ on a jet plane, don’t know when I’ll be back again.

34. Unlocked – Margo Kelly
Unlocked - Margo Kelly
Thoughts: ARE YOU REALITY?

35. Shadowcaster (Shattered Realms #2) – Cinda Williams Chima
Shadowcaster (Shattered Realms #2) - Cinda Williams Chima
Thoughts: I’ve never looked at a brooch and thought WANT but this one I would like please and thank you.

36. The Upside of Unrequited – Becky Albertalli
The Upside of Unrequited - Becky Albertalli
Thoughts: That emoji strikes unexpected fear in my heart, but I love how it will look next to Simon on my shelf. ♥

Cover Battles:

1. A Curious Beginning (Veronica Speedwell #1) – Deanna Raybourn

A Curious Beginning (Veronica Speedwell #1) - Deanna Raybourn hardback
A Curious Beginning (Veronica Speedwell #1) - Deanna Raybourn paperback

US Hardback vs. US Paperback: The hardback is acceptable but the hardback is OMG GIVE.

2. Larger-Than-Life Lara – Dandi Daley Mackall

Larger-Than-Life Lara - Dandi Daley Mackall original
Larger-Than-Life Lara - Dandi Daley Mackall

Penguin vs. Tyndale House: Wow do I hate that dress floating in the wind cover for a novel about a fat girl, so I guess it goes to the carnival ride but yeesh.

3. Frozen Charlotte – Alex Bell

Frozen Charlotte - Alex Bell UK
Frozen Charlotte - Alex Bell

UK vs. US: Now I want a frozen chocolate beverage. I think I’m doing this wrong.

4. Maresi (The Red Abbey Chronicles #1) – Maria Turtschaninoff

Maresi (The Red Abbey Chronicles) - Maria Turtschaninoff swedish
Maresi (The Red Abbey Chronicles) - Maria Turtschaninoff romanian
Maresi (The Red Abbey Chronicles) - Maria Turtschaninoff UK
Maresi (The Red Abbey Chronicles) - Maria Turtschaninoff
Maresi (The Red Abbey Chronicles) - Maria Turtschaninoff us

Swedish vs. Romanian vs. UK vs. German vs. US: These are all really cool, except for the Romanian edition. Not sure how it got invited to this party.

5. Dial Em for Murder – Marni Bates

Dial Em for Murder - Marni Bates hungarian
Dial Em for Murder - Marni Bates

Hungarian vs. US: Her head looks absolutely enormous on her shoulders, right?

6. The Murderer’s Ape – Jakob Wegelius

The Murderer's Ape - Jakob Wegelius swedish
The Murderer's Ape - Jakob Wegelius

Swedish vs. US: Quit monkeying around.

7. Shadow Wave (Cherub #12) – Robert Muchamore

Shadow Wave (Cherub #12) - Robert Muchamore uk hb
Shadow Wave (Cherub #12) - Robert Muchamore uk pb
Shadow Wave (Cherub #12) - Robert Muchamore french
Shadow Wave (Cherub #12) - Robert Muchamore german
Shadow Wave (Cherub #12) - Robert Muchamore czech
Shadow Wave (Cherub #12) - Robert Muchamore danish
Shadow Wave (Cherub #12) - Robert Muchamore french 2
Shadow Wave (Cherub #12) - Robert Muchamore portuguese
Shadow Wave (Cherub #12) - Robert Muchamore

UK Hardcover vs. UK Paperback vs. French Original vs. German vs. Czech vs. Danish vs. French Redesign vs. Italian vs. US: Gosh, do you think they’re marketing to boys?

8. Spellbinder (Night World #3) – L.J. Smith

Spellbinder (Night World #3) - L.J. Smith original
Spellbinder (Night World #3) - L.J. Smith

US Original vs. US Redesign: Raise your hand if you feel like you’ve traveled back to the 90s just by looking at that original cover.

9. Invisible Enemies: Stories of Infectious Disease – Jeanette Farrell

Invisible Enemies Stories of Infectious Disease - Jeanette Farrell hb
Invisible Enemies Stories of Infectious Disease - Jeanette Farrell

US Original vs. US Redesign: If all nonfiction had covers this cute, maybe I would actually read some.

10. Ignite (Defy #2) – Sara B. Larson

Ignite (Defy #2) - Sara B. Larson
Ignite - Sara B. Larson

US vs. German: The German cover would definitely trick me into reading this book.

11. Three Dark Crowns – Kendare Blake

Three Dark Crowns - Kendare Blake
Three Dark Crowns - Kendare Blake flame
Three Dark Crowns - Kendare Blake snake
Three Dark Crowns - Kendare Blake flowers

US vs. UK Flames vs. UK Snake vs. UK Flowers: Quantity over quality, eh, UK?

12. Pea’s Book of Best Friends (Pea Llewellyn #1) – Susie Day

Pea's Book of Best Friends - Susie Day original
Pea's Book of Best Friends - Susie Day redesign

UK Original vs. UK Redesign: Much as I like these redesigns, I am not doing cover battles for all of them because this series is long. Check out the rest here.

13. Corruption (Disruption #2) – Jessica Shirvington

Corruption (Disruption #2) - Jessica Shirvington aus
Corruption (Disruption #2) - Jessica Shirvington

Australian vs. US: I always dislike the US covers for this series until I look at the Australian.

14. The Masked Truth – Kelley Armstrong

The Masked Truth - Kelley Armstrong
The Masked Truth - Kelley Armstrong

Canadian Hardback vs. Canadian Paperback: From boring to boringer.

WTF of the Week:

WTF of the Week began as a special category for one cover I saw, but was so popular it became a recurring feature. Here, I highlight covers, both new and old, that I’ve found, which, upon viewing, made me either snort or say something along the lines of “Dear God, what is that thing?”

1. Torn (A Wicked Saga #2) – Jennifer L. Armentrout
Torn (Wicked Trilogy #2) - Jennifer L. Armentrout
Thoughts: This looks like Little Mermaid nightmare.

2. Canyon Hearts (Echo Falls, Texas Cops #1) – Patti Ann Colt & Kelly McCrady
Canyon Hearts - Patti Ann Colt & Kelly McCrady
Thoughts: Nothing has ever looked more like a Lifetime movie. Even Lifetime movies.

3. Where Words Fail (Save Me #1) – Katheryn Kiden
Where Words Fail - Katheryn Kiden
Thoughts: WHY IS THIS SO WASHED OUT?

2 responses to “Cover Snark (189): We Were on a Snark”

  1. lissa says:

    I like #1 and also some of the redesigned covers, it used to be there’s only two choices – hardcover and paperback but now there’s just so many versions that I often seek out the better covers to purchase.

    anyway, have a lovely day.
    lissa recently posted…The postmistress’ tea forestMy Profile

  2. Ivan Jordon says:

    I love these covers… Snarky…
    Ivan Jordon recently posted…Baby Animals GameMy Profile

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