Top Ten Popular Characters I Want to Punch in Their Fictional Faces

Top Ten Tuesday is hosted by The Broke and the Bookish

Top Ten Tuesday is hosted by The Broke and the Bookish

Sure, I wouldn’t actually punch anyone in the face but, were I the sort and were they with me, I would totally punch these guys in the face. But, like, to knock sense into them. It’s a friendly punching in the grand scheme of things.

gif rafiki hit lion king

Tris – Divergent by Veronica Roth

Now I know Tris isn’t the most popular heroine out there, but I know many people still had an emotional attachment to her, and you’re certainly meant to. I hated Tris deeply from early on in book one, when she criticized another character for crying, since apparently large males should never do that. Fuck that. Things did not improve from there. The best thing she ever did as a character View Spoiler ».

Oh, and, she and Four were never ever going to work.

gif what tris

Piper – Heroes of Olympus by Rick Riordan

piper mclean fan art
Fan art by wolfpawsandwarpaint on tumblr

Piper annoyed me from the start tbh, but she officially crossed over into massive loathing when Riordan decided to make her the true hero of the last couple books, probably because he realized the strongest people were still all the white characters. All of a sudden Piper gets awesome new powers and Annabeth requires her assistance for planning; I fucking think not.

Everyone – The Selection by Kiera Cass

america_singer_by_hantinexd-d7jis0b
Fan art by hantinexd on DeviantArt

No, really. All of them.

Ash – Iron Fey by Julie Kagawa

Ash Iron fey
Fan art by @BlueFeyTrisha, as found on Julie Kagawa’s website

Why oh why would anyone ever want Ash, the grim and boring, over Puck, who’s funny and NOT boring? I will never understand this romance or this series. Like, I think Ash is supposed to be a “still waters run deep” sort, all brooding and sexy, like a fairy Darcy. But he’s not. He’s really not. He bores me to tears, and Meghan ends up suffering in my estimation for choosing him.

Shay – Nightshade by Andrea Kremer AND

Will – Firelight by Sophie Jordan

Second love interest syndrome strikes again. I’m combining these two because there’s basically the same characters and romantic arcs. Both are the sexy new guy that the heroine cannot resist falling for, and they’re both love rivals with her “intended.” The latter is a douche in book one, but by book two Shay and Will are both the biggest dipshits and the intended has become a nice supportive guy. Shay and Will can fuck right off. Also WHY do I still have so many feelings about this? WHY?

Jace and Clary – The Mortal Instruments by Cassandra Clare

GET. A. FUCKING. BLOOD. TEST. YOU. LIVE. IN. NEW. YORK. FUCKING. CITY.

gif i will protect you with my life tmi
But I won’t pay for a blood test

Sophie and Agatha – The School for Good and Evil by Soman Chainani

sophie and agatha school for good and evil fan art
Source: Pinterest—says the fanart is by Neno (Alex Isip)

Just fucking admit that you two are in romantic, sexual love with one another and stop being the fucking brattiest brats fighting over idiotic boys. I cannot even.

Mal – The Grisha by Leigh Bardugo

Mal grisha
From Grace P. Fong’s amazing Grisha Portrait Series

Don’t come at me with Ruin & Rising; I know his behavior is fairly inoffensive in that book but, honestly, I don’t find him that changed. My issues with Mal are twofold: 1) he’s a shitty friend and 2) he only loves Alina when he’s stronger than she is.

View Spoiler »

Dimitri – Vampire Academy by Richelle Mead

Listen, way back in the day when I first read these like eight years ago, I was SO into it (partially because I edited out the horrid ponytail and creepy cowboy duster—so not swoon). I was into it. Until Blood Promise. And there literally is no coming back from what happens in that books, strigoi or not. Nope nope nope. Dimitri is no romantic hero of mine, especially not when there’s Adrian.

gif insubordinate vampire academy

St. Clair – Anna and the French Kiss by Stephanie Perkins

home is a person anna and the french kiss
Fan art by dear Gillian, who disagrees with me

Yeah, this will probably be the one that makes people really sad, and I’m sorry for that. Silver lining: I won’t fight you over him; he’s all yours.

My review for this book devolves into a long rant about St. Clair, which you can check out if you’re curious so I won’t repeat it here. Tldr: St. Clair is both a shitty friend and boyfriend. Like, I really really really tried to like him and ship it but the degree to which he is the worst about the situation was too much for me to forgive, and my good opinion once lost is lost forever.

Rochester – Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte

HE FAILED TO TELL JANE ABOUT HIS CRAZY WIFE IN THE ATTIC LIKE NBD JUST TRIED TO COMMIT BIGAMY. DUDE JUST BE HONEST SHE WOULD GET IT JANE IS MAD CHILL YO. HE FUCKING LIED, WHICH IS A BIGGER PROBLEM THAN BERTHA.

ALSO THE ONLY WAY HE COULD TREAT HER LIKE AN EQUAL WAS IF HE WAS BLINDED AND HAD A NUB. SO.

YOU CAN DO SO MUCH BETTER, JANE.

gif what fault do you find with me jane eyre

Are you waiting in line to smack some sense into any of these characters?

(If not, it’s totally cool. I have dear, dear friends who disagree with me heartily in some of these cases.)

19 responses to “Top Ten Popular Characters I Want to Punch in Their Fictional Faces”

  1. Bekka says:

    I HATE ST CLAIR SO FUCKING MUCH I HATE HIM I HATE HIIIIIIIIIM
    Bekka recently posted…Top Ten Tuesday: Beloved Characters We DislikeMy Profile

  2. ROCHESTER. That guy. Jane Eyre is one of my favorite books for some reason, but the whole thing just goes way the hey downhill super quick after the disastrous near-bigamy. Jane deserves so much more….
    looloolooweez recently posted…Trimming the ol’ TBR listMy Profile

  3. So fun to see that most of these are relate to the love stories on the books.
    Deyse @ Bound with Words recently posted…Arrows by Melissa Gorzelanczyk Book Trailer ReleaseMy Profile

  4. Mariah Smith says:

    I’m LOVING all the Mal haters out there today. I’ll never understand what Alina saw in him, especially when compared to Nikolai and The Darkling. He was literally the only person to not accept Alina and her sun summoning abilities, and yet. AND YET. That was the most disappointing ending of my entire life.
    I agree heartedly on The Selection and had that on my list too, though I choose to narrow it down to just America since she’s the worst character I’ve ever read about. And hell YES to Tris being horrible and unemotional. The only reason why I cried in Allegiant was because I felt bad for Tobias, not cause of her. I was absolutely outraged. How selfish do you have to be to repeatedly put your life in danger, knowing there are people who love you and would miss you?
    Great list! And sorry this is so long hahaha.

  5. St Clair stayed with Ellie so long to the point where it ICKED me out. And that definitely brought the ending of the book DOWN for me because I just didn’t like him as much as I did the rest of the time. And when Anna and he appeared in the Lola book, I wanted to punch both of them in the face…. can you NOT EVER be apart for one freaking second. Like, you have to even work together?? It was BLAH!!
    Michelle @ Pink Polka Dot Books recently posted…Top Ten Tuesday- Top Ten Characters Everybody Loves But I Didn’t “Get”My Profile

  6. Angela says:

    Okay, I won’t read The Mortal Instruments, but I’m really curious about the blood test?? What’s that about?
    Angela recently posted…Review: FirstlifeMy Profile

  7. Brianna says:

    Yessss to Jace and Clary. Cannot stand them. I didn’t even finish the first book. And I’m glad someone else felt icky about Mal too. I haven’t finished the series yet but I didn’t really love him in book one.

  8. OKAY MS CHRISTINA DARCY lololol. I became more lukewarm towards Tris as the series went on, everyone in the Selection is so dumb about so much and omg YES MR ROCHESTER. I think he’s the main reason I’m not a huge Jane Eyre fan. For all the reasons you mentioned. I didn’t like anything or anyone in City of Bones. Wasn’t impressed with Dimitri in VA.

  9. Great list – I agree with so many of these! Tris just grew irritating throughout the books, and by the end I just wasn’t as attached to her as I should have been. I also agree so much with Mal – I’ve only read Shadow and Bone so far, but I already find him so annoying and just not a great friend, particularly as the book progresses.
    Alice @ A Reader’s Fiction recently posted…Top Ten Tuesday Forty TwoMy Profile

  10. Rochester was on my list too, and I definitely see what you mean about Tris. I didn’t hate her, but I didn’t like her either. There’s just something about her that rubs me the wrong way.
    Kate @ Parchment Girl recently posted…I’m Just Not That Into You: 10 Literary Heroes I Would Never DateMy Profile

  11. Meg says:

    I am actually crying tears of laughter, I love this and I love you.
    Meg recently posted…Review: A Study in Charlotte by Brittany CavallaroMy Profile

  12. Allyson says:

    I was going to say my blogmate would absolutely love your list til we got to Dimitri :p I was happily surprised that he hadn’t made too many lists this week.

    My TTT.
    Allyson recently posted…Upcoming Releases: March 8thMy Profile

  13. Angie says:

    So much agree on Tris. So. Much. Agree.

    EVERYONE IN THE SELECTION IS TERRIBLE TERRIBLE TERRIBLE

    *kicks self for forgetting Jace & Clary*

    Everything about your Mal thoughts gives me life because YES YES FUCKING YES. He only loves Alina when she’s weaker than him and that ending still sends me into rage palpatations.

    I definitely understand your reasons for wanting to punch Dimitir and St. Clair but *holds my babies close*

    I have seen Jane Eyre characters mentioned so much and this is going to forever be the classic I never read.
    Angie recently posted…Top Ten Tuesday: Top Ten Characters Everyone Loves But I Just Don’t GetMy Profile

  14. Hahaha, I wasn’t really sure what character’s I’d pick if I had done this but OMG Tris and Piper would be at the top of my list too. And Dmitry. Rose too though, in my case.
    Debby (Snuggly Oranges) recently posted…Book Review: Grounded: The Adventures of Rapunzel by Megan MorrisonMy Profile

  15. JJ says:

    Tris was on my list this week too.
    JJ recently posted…Top Ten Tuesday #47My Profile

  16. I love that you just put “EVERYONE” for The Selection, because I agree! Nobody knows how to communicate in that series, and it’s so frustrating seeing them go through all the unfortunate situations when all they had to do was just TELL one another what’s going on.
    Amaris (amarisafloria.com) recently posted…February 2016 RecapMy Profile

  17. OH YES TO THE BLOODTEST. Why did I never think of that? I didn’t really like that series but I read the first 4 books I believe.

    Great list!
    Jolien @ The Fictional Reader recently posted…Review: Honor’s KnightMy Profile

  18. OMG yes! I love Jane, but I can’t stand Rochester either!

    Check out my TTT.
    Lauren @ Always Me recently posted…The Friday 56 (With Book Beginnings): Thief of Lies (Library Jumpers #1) by Brenda DrakeMy Profile

  19. That rogue Rochester! He was a complete scum bag the whole book. You’re right for giving him a virtual punch in the face.
    Alisa @ Papercuttts recently posted…Reading Journal || January & FebruaryMy Profile

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