Cover Snark (179): It Snarks Like This

Welcome to Cover Snark, where the people are snarky and the covers quiver in fear. Since I don’t write many snarky book reviews here on A Reader of Fictions, Cover Snark is my outlet. If you click on the title of the book, where possible, I’ve linked to Goodreads. Clicking on the cover itself will show you the cover in a larger size, in most cases. Feel free to love covers I hate and vice versa. Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

Please note that you should by no means contact the author if you do not like their cover; they likely have ZERO control. Feel free to express opinions in the comments, but please do not @ an author on Twitter because of anything you’ve seen here. Let’s keep it kind.

Shiny and New:

1. As I Descended – Robin Talley
As I Descended - Robin Talley
Thoughts: Tree chic.

2. The Cat King of Havana – Tom Crosshill
The Cat King of Havana - Tom Crosshill
Thoughts: This really doesn’t appeal to me(ow) despite cats so let’s hope I’m not the target audience.

3. I’m Not Your Manic Pixie Dream Girl – Gretchen McNeil
I'm Not Your Manic Pixie Dream Girl - Gretchen McNeil
Thoughts: Love the title; not so much a fan of the artwork orrr the fonts. Also, why is she eating Tweety Bird?

4. Rose & Thorn (Ash & Bramble #2) – Sarah Prineas
Rose & Thorn (Ash & Bramble #2) - Sarah Prineas
Thoughts: This is a much better pretty dress cover than Ash & Bramble got.

5. Fellside – M.R. Carey
Fellside - M.R. Carey
Thoughts: Listen, The Girl with All the Gifts was awesome but this is too much.

6. Of Fire and Stars – Audrey Coulthurst
Of Fire and Stars - Audrey Coulthurst
Thoughts: FONT. GIRLS HOLDING HANDS. THAT CASTLE. GAHHHHH.

7. The Black Key (The Lone City #3) – Amy Ewing
The Black Key - Amy Ewing
Thoughts: This one manages not to me by cover crack like the others, maybe because she’s staring off in a random direction and we’re looking at her from such a strange angle?

8. Spare and Found Parts – Sarah Maria Griffin
Spare and Found Parts - Sarah Maria Griffin
Thoughts: Brings new meaning to the term “pothead.”

9. Saving Red – Sonya Sones
Saving Red - Sonya Sones
Thoughts: Red’s smelling her hair. Meanwhile the title and author name blend together because they’re in the same font and so close together. Saving Red Sonya Sones.

10. Replica – Lauren Oliver
Replica - Lauren Oliver
Thoughts: You know the publishers expect to make a shit ton of money off a book when they do a gif cover reveal for it.

11. Three Dark Crowns – Kendare Blake
Three Dark Crowns - Kendare Blake
Thoughts: What I like about this is that, though there are a preponderance of crown covers, these crowns look nothing like those. MOTHERFUCKING SNAKE CROWN.

12. A Million Worlds with You (Firebird #3) – Claudia Gray
A Million Worlds with You - Claudia Gray
Thoughts: Gah, the covers for this series are ridiculoussssss. I mean, look at it.

13. Aerie (Magonia #2) – Maria Dahvana Headley
Aerie - Maria Dahvana Headley
Thoughts: Maybe that’s what killed the dinosaurs.

14. Gamescape: Overworld (The Nova Project, #1) – Emma Trevayne
Gamescape Overworld (The Nova Project, #1) - Emma Trevayne
Thoughts: Fake-looking fire never improves a cover; it completely undermines the goal of looking intense.

15. 9 Letters – Blake Austin
9 Letters - Blake Austin
Thoughts: MANBUN.

16. Playing Defense (Corrigan Falls Raiders #2) – Cate Cameron
Playing Defense - Cate Cameron
Thoughts: Whatever, who wants him when you have a cute coat.

17. It Looks Like This – Rafi Mittlefehldt
It Looks Like This - Rafi Mittlefehldt
Thoughts: Indeed it does.

18. Frost Like Night (Snow Like Ashes #3) – Sara Raasch
Frost Like Night - Sara Raasch
Thoughts: I mean, I know that the COLD THING LIKE HOT THING titles were ridiculous, but, like, what happened to commitment to a theme?

19. You In Five Acts – Una LaMarche
You In Five Acts - Una LaMarche
Thoughts: Not my favorite color palette, and I don’t like the fonts, but YASSS ballet.

20. Like a River Glorious (The Gold Seer Trilogy #2) – Rae Carson
Like a River Glorious - Rae Carson
Thoughts: Look at her arm placement. She is clearly model-strutting across that river like the second coming of fabulous.

21. Crooked Kingdom (Six of Crows #2) – Leigh Bardugo
Crooked Kingdom - Leigh Bardugo
Thoughts: Let’s all just admit that Leigh Bardugo has the best covers ever. She can go ahead and crow about this to the world, because it is truth.

22. Journey’s End – Rachel Hawkins
Journey's End - Rachel Hawkins
Thoughts: Oh my god, I love how the title looks on that background.

23. Our Chemical Hearts – Krystal Sutherland
Our Chemical Hearts - Krystal Sutherland
Thoughts: Pretty fishies, even if they do have chemical hearts.

24. The Midnight Sea (Fourth Element #1) – Kat Ross
The Midnight Sea (Fourth Element #1) - Kat Ross
Thoughts: So this series is about Beryllium?

25. The Waking Fire (The Draconis Memoria #1) – Anthony Ryan
The Waking Fire - Anthony Ryan
Thoughts: This cover is on fire.

26. Georgia Peaches and Other Forbidden Fruit – Jaye Robin Brown
Georgia Peaches and Other Forbidden Fruit - Jaye Robin Brown
Thoughts: Rude.

27. The Female of the Species – Mindy McGinnis
The Female of the Species -Mindy McGinnis
Thoughts: Love the concept. Hate the color palette with a fiery passion, since it legit looks vomitous.

28. Return Fire (Moving Target #2) – Christina Diaz Gonzalez
Return Fire (Moving Target #2) - Christina Diaz Gonzalez
Thoughts: Middle grade covers don’t steer us wrong.

29. Iron Cast – Destiny Soria
Iron Cast - Destiny Soria
Thoughts: Looks like potentially a historical paranormal with a POC MC? WANT.

30. An Accident of Stars (The Manifold Worlds #1) – Foz Meadows
An Accident of Stars (The Manifold Worlds #1) - Foz Meadows
Thoughts: KANGAROO STEEDS!

31. The Stars Are Legion – Kameron Hurley
The Stars Are Legion - Kameron Hurley
Thoughts: Spaaaaaaaaace.

32. Sticks and Stones (Upside-Down Magic #2) – Sarah Mlynowski, Lauren Myracle, & Emily Jenkins
Sticks and Stones (Upside-Down Magic #3) - Sarah Mlynowski, Lauren Myracle, & Emily Jenkins
Thoughts: Honey, I blew up the kitten.

33. Between the Bleeding Willows (The Demon Hunter #1) – D.A. Roach
Between the Bleeding Willows (The Demon Hunter #1) - D.A. Roach
Thoughts: She’s clearly not surrounded by trees, bleeding or no, but I appreciate the fierce model strut.

34. Wake the Hollow – Gaby Triana
Wake the Hollow - Gaby Triana
Thoughts: Let sleeping hollows lie.

35. The Secret of a Heart Note – Stacey Lee
The Secret of a Heart Note - Stacey Lee
Thoughts: wtf is a heart note. I’m assuming it’s a note left by a serial killer, written on the disembodied hearts of their victims, but somehow the cover makes me question this.

36. Crushing It -Joanne Levy
Crushing It -Joanne Levy
Thoughts: The title has a pun and she’s doing the Princess Diaries foot pop. <3

37. In Shining Armor (Pax Arcana #4) – Elliott James
In Shining Armor (Pax Arcana #4) - Elliott James
Thoughts: That armor actually seems more to absorb darkness.

38. The Queen’s Poisoner (The Kingfountain Series #1) – Jeff Wheeler
The Queen's Poisoner (The Kingfountain Series #1) - Jeff Wheeler
Thoughts: How sweet of you to offer me fountain water, but I’m not feeling so thirsty rn.

39. Seven Surrenders (Terra Ignota #2) – Ada Palmer
Seven Surrenders - Ada Palmer
Thoughts: Not so wild about the people, but the artwork of that building has me ready to surrender my money.

40. The Nature of a Pirate – A. M. Dellamonica
The Nature of a Pirate - A. M. Dellamonica
Thoughts: Pretty sure her nature is boss bitchness.

41. The Queen of Blood (The Queens of Renthia #1) – Sarah Beth Durst
The Queen of Blood (The Queens of Renthia #1) - Sarah Beth Durst
Thoughts: The font’s really letting down the lovely Rivendellesque background.

42. Jonah (The Styclar Saga #3) – Nikki Kelly
Jonah - Nikki Kelly
Thoughts: You can almost see him wondering what he’s done to deserve this.

Cover Battles:

1. All My Dangerous Friends – Sonya Hartnett

All My Dangerous Friends - Sonya Hartnett  hb
All My Dangerous Friends - Sonya Hartnett

Australian 1998 vs. Australian 2016: Holy shit. That original cover is horrid and the new one is everything I’ve ever wanted. I’ve never heard of this book but I want it just for this cover.

2. Forest – Sonya Hartnett

Forest - Sonya Hartnett 2001
Forest - Sonya Hartnett aus
Forest - Sonya Hartnett

Australian 2001 vs. Australian 2004 vs. Australian 2016: Okay the cat is slightly less cool but I still love this.

3. Stripes of the Sidestep Wolf – Sonya Hartnett

Stripes of the Sidestep Wolf - Sonya Hartnett aus
Stripes of the Sidestep Wolf - Sonya Hartnett

Australian 1999 vs. Australian 2016: I just cannot get over the amazingness of these covers.

4. Sleeping Dogs – Sonya Hartnett

Sleeping Dogs - Sonya Hartnett aus
Sleeping Dogs - Sonya Hartnett

Australian 1995 vs. Australian 2016: Funny looking dog.

5. Me Before You (Me Before You #1) – Jojo Moyes

Me Before You - Jojo Moyes
Me Before You - Jojo Moyes movie tie-in

US Hardback vs. US Movie Tie-In: As movie tie-in covers go, this isn’t so bad, but I’m partial to the lettering covers. And, of course, how I feel about this will depend on whether the movie sucks or not.

6. Lightless (Lightless #1) – C. A. Higgins

Lightless - C. A. Higgins hardback
Lightless - C. A. Higgins

US Hardback vs. US Paperback: Huh, the hardback’s kind of boring but the paperback screams VAMPIRES IN SPACE.

7. Girl Out of Water – Nat Luurtsema

Goldfish - Nat Luurtsema
Girl Out of Water - Nat Luurtsema

US vs. UK: I like how the UK has adopted this unique style; I knew this had to be a UK cover before I actually clicked the link. However, it also looks like a middle grade so idk.

8. Run – Kody Keplinger

Run - Kody Keplinger
Run - Kody Keplinger

US Take 1 vs. US Take 2: Still don’t love but it’s an improvement so I’ll take it.

WTF of the Week:

WTF of the Week began as a special category for one cover I saw, but was so popular it became a recurring feature. Here, I highlight covers, both new and old, that I’ve found, which, upon viewing, made me either snort or say something along the lines of “Dear God, what is that thing?”

1. Hellfighters (The Devil’s Engine #2) – Alexander Gordon Smith
The Devil's Engine (Hellfighters) - Alexander Gordon Smith
Thoughts: Macmillan, you really need to be better than Bleeding Cowboy, and that’s not even the only issue.

2. The Son of Neptune (Heroes of Olympus #2) – Rick Riordan
The Son of Neptune (Heroes of Olympus #2) - Rick Riordan
Thoughts: This cover has the same effect as Medusa’s gaze.

3. The Crown of Ptolemy (Percy Jackson & Kane Chronicles Crossover #3) – Rick Riordan
The Crown of Ptolemy - Rick Riordan
Thoughts: His books make so much fucking money. Spend some on a decent cover. There’s just no excuse for this. None of those figures looks remotely like Percy or Annabeth. Just nope. This gets no points.

5 responses to “Cover Snark (179): It Snarks Like This”

  1. Dahlia Adler says:

    I cannot get over how freaking stunning some of these covers are. Claudia Gray’s trilogy has my favorites in all of YA, though Rae Carson’s newest series is giving it a run for its money, oh my God. And I am dying dying dying for both OF FIRE AND STARS and AS I DESCENDED, so to see them get covers that are actually worthy of their premises is like THAAAANK GODDDDD. And totally agree that ROSE & THORN >>> ASH & BRAMBLE, though I did like the latter’s fine. I also love Amy Ewing’s covers – absolutely among my all-time fave GiGs.
    Dahlia Adler recently posted…Release Day for Right of First Refusal is Here!My Profile

  2. Angela says:

    Heroes of Olympus – WTF? That’s the best Medusa-being they can do? Seriously? With how popular Riordan is, and how much money his books make? You’ve got to be kidding me!

    Also, SO MANY PRETTEH COVERS this week!

    I know I shouldn’t judge books by their covers, but I can’t help but want them!
    Angela recently posted…Review: Harry Potter and the Goblet of FireMy Profile

  3. Angie says:

    Huh. I kinda dig the Not Your Manic Pixie Dream Girl cover although I’m still once the fence about the book. BUT OMG Christina have you never eaten a tweety bird ice cream from an ice cream truck?

    I feel like I’m forever the only person who loved the Ash & Bramble cover. I liked it so much more than the Rose & Thorn cover.

    OBSESSED with the Of Fire and Stars font and GIRLS HOLDING HANDS

    I like the simplicity of the Three Dark Crowns cover. Nothing too elabarote. PLUS SNAKE CROWN.

    OOOOH I am intrigued by Iron Cast

    The Styclar covers are just all so awful

    OMG THOSE NEW SONYA HARTNETT COVERS. I don’t even care what the books are about I WANT

    BUT OMG WHAT ARE THOSE RIORDAN COVERS? WHO. HOW? W H Y?
    Angie recently posted…Disquoteus: The Song of Achilles by Madeline MillerMy Profile

  4. LG says:

    I couldn’t believe it when I saw the author’s name on the last two “WTF of the Wekk” covers. Considering how much money his books must be making, why do his publishers hate him so much? WTF #2 is especially horrible. I saw that bad Medusa Photoshop and my first thought was “someone incorporated their family members into their self-published book cover.”

    Sonya Hartnett, on the other hand, was blessed by the cover gods the second time around. My favorites are #1 and #3.
    LG recently posted…A Thousand Leagues of Wind, the Sky at Dawn (e-book) by Fuyumi Ono, translated by Eugene WoodburyMy Profile

  5. 1. I like the color palette and how creepy/gothic this looks!
    4. I love this!! It’ll look really good on my shelf contrasted with the white A&B cover 🙂
    6. EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS IS THE BEST. The font is sooooo gorgeous, I hope it’s raised on the finished copy.
    11. I can’t decide what I think! It’s kind of boring but I love the detailed, different crowns.
    12. I need to read (and hopefully love) this series just so I can have all the pretty covers.
    18. I have a hard time telling all three books apart :/
    20. So beautifullllllll I only wish that I liked the first book more.
    24. Oh wow that fiery, sparkly font treatment! I love it SO much. I actually love everything about this, even though it’s another symbol cover. I like the colors and pattern peeking out in the background!
    26. The peach pit bothers me LOL. But maybe that’s the point. I like the color palette at least!
    35. This is so cute! Seems weird to have a December release for such a springy cover though.
    41. Rivendell!!!! Totally! I am intrigued.
    5. It’s definitely a good movie cover!
    7. You are SO right, it just looks like a UK book! I’d love to see the Georgia Nicholson books redesigned with this style.

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