Cover Snark (177): Out on Snark Behavior

Welcome to Cover Snark, where the people are snarky and the covers quiver in fear. Since I don’t write many snarky book reviews here on A Reader of Fictions, Cover Snark is my outlet. If you click on the title of the book, where possible, I’ve linked to Goodreads. Clicking on the cover itself will show you the cover in a larger size, in most cases. Feel free to love covers I hate and vice versa. Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

Please note that you should by no means contact the author if you do not like their cover; they likely have ZERO control. Feel free to express opinions in the comments, but please do not @ an author on Twitter because of anything you’ve seen here. Let’s keep it kind.

Shiny and New:

1. Defending Taylor (Hundred Oaks #7) – Miranda Kenneally
Defending Taylor - Miranda Kenneally
Thoughts: Super wish this was about a gay or lesbian couple rather than another white cis/het couple but the cover’s cute and has me thinking about She’s the Man.

2. Perfect Liars – Kimberly Reid
Perfect Liars - Kimberly Reid
Thoughts: The unfocused face way too close up is freaking me the fuck out.

3. The Peculiar Night of the Blue Heart (Pram #2) – Lauren DeStefano
The Peculiar Night of the Blue Heart - Lauren DeStefano
Thoughts: Clearly he lost the rock paper scissors to see who had to poke the mysterious blue thing.

4. Gertie’s Leap to Greatness – Kate Beasley
Gertie's Leap to Greatness - Kate Beasley
Thoughts: Is Gertie the frog or the girl?

5. Vassa in the Night – Sarah Porter
Vassa in the Night - Sarah Porter
Thoughts: Looks Bardugo-y and has a Bardugo blurb. I sWANT IT.

6. The Secret Horses of Briar Hill – Megan Shepherd
The Secret Horses of Briar Hill - Megan Shepherd
Thoughts: Is that Briar because Breyer horses?

7. Bound by Blood and Sand (Untitled #1)- Becky Allen
Bound by Blood and Sand - Becky Allen
Thoughts: Bound by sand and more sand and some more sand and oh look sand.

8. My Unscripted Life – Lauren Morrill
My Unscripted Life - Lauren Morrill
Thoughts: Another cover/book I wish had diversity of some sort on/in it, but still cute.

9. Once, in a Town Called Moth – Trilby Kent
Once, in a Town Called Moth - Trilby Kent
Thoughts: There was a girl who wore braids?

10. Out on Good Behavior (Radleigh University #3) – Dahlia Adler
Out on Good Behavior - Dahlia Adler
Thoughts: F/F snuggles on an NA cover. I approve.

11. Gabriel and the Swallows (The Volatile Duology #1) – Esther Dalseno
Gabriel and the Swallows - Esther Dalseno
Thoughts: Dude, that swallow ate Gabriel’s head.

12. The Society – Jodie Andrefski
The Society - Jodie Andrefski
Thoughts: Clearly it’s not that well-kept of a secret if it’s on this book cover.

13. Saving Hamlet – Molly Booth
Saving Hamlet - Molly Booth
Thoughts: Here for it in spirit but I do not care for the style or colors at all.

14. Eden’s Escape (Eden of the Lamp #2) – M. Tara Crowl
Eden's Escape - M. Tara Crowl
Thoughts: Paris is a GENIE-us place to escape to.

15. The Mesmerist – Ronald L. Smith
The Mesmerist - Ronald L. Smith
Thoughts: The ghost says that “Christina is the best.” NO I DID NOT PUSH IT.

16. Chasing Danger – Sara Grant
Chasing Danger - Sara Grant
Thoughts: So her name is Danger and the boat is chasing her, right?

17. Race the Night – Kirsten Hubbard
Race the Night - Kirsten Hubbard
Thoughts: They left so fast all the paper in the world went a-fluttering Looney Tunes-style.

18. Empire Decayed (The Death and Life of Zebulon Finch #2) – Daniel Kraus
Empire Decayed (The Death and Life of Zebulon Finch #2) - Daniel Kraus
Thoughts: Even decayed it’s looking mighty fine.

19. Every Hidden Thing – Kenneth Oppel
Every Hidden Thing - Kenneth Oppel
Thoughts: No, don’t give up! You almost found the dinosaur skeleton!

20. When the Moon Was Ours – Anna-Marie McLemore
When the Moon Was Ours - Anna-Marie McLemore
Thoughts: I hung up all these other moons so we would always have some, so even when the moon isn’t ours we’re good.

21. For This Life Only – Stacey Kade
For This Life Only - Stacey Kade
Thoughts: Screw you in the next life, though.

22. Rebel Genius – Michael Dante DiMartino
Rebel Genius - Michael DiMartino
Thoughts: FIRE BEND THAT BIRD INTO NEXT WEEK.

23. Diplomatic Immunity – Brodi Ashton
Diplomatic Immunity - Brodi Ashton
Thoughts: I didn’t realize diplomatic immunity gave you the right to block traffic for a makeout session.

24. A Tail of Camelot (Mice of the Round Table #1) – Julie Leung
Mice of the Round Table A Tail of Camelot - Julie Leung
Thoughts: We’re the mice of the round table / we eat cheese whenever we’re able.

25. Mind Games (Lock & Mori #2) – Heather W. Petty
Mind Games (Lock & Mori #2) - Heather W. Petty
Thoughts: Are they really locked into this cover design or could they do something mori awesome?

26. Beast – Brie Spangler
Beast - Brie Spangler
Thoughts: I don’t know if I could love this cover more.

27. Blind Reality – Heidi McLaughlin
Blind Reality -Heidi McLaughlin
Thoughts: Based on the age of the television, I’m hoping this is about contestants on The Newlywed Game.

28. The Jewel and Her Lapidary – Fran Wilde
The Jewel and Her Lapidary - Fran Wilde
Thoughts: *googles “lapidary”*

29. Unhonored (The Nightbirds #2) – Tracy Hickman, Laura Hickman
Unhonored (The Nightbirds #2) - Tracy Hickman, Laura Hickman
Thoughts: Surely you jester.

30. Sea Spell (Waterfire Saga #4) – Jennifer Donnelly
Sea Spell (Waterfire Saga #4) - Jennifer Donnelly
Thoughts: Once again scratching my head at the photoshop on the covers for this series.

31. Girl Mans Up – M.E. Girard
Girl Mans Up - M.E. Girard
Thoughts: Graphic novel style covers = ♥

32. Olivia Decoded – Vivi Barnes
Olivia Decoded - Vivi Barnes
Thoughts: This cover doesn’t megabyte, but it’s also not great.

33. Foxheart – Claire Legrand
Foxheart - Claire Legrand
Thoughts: Foxy.

34. New Moon: The Graphic Novel, Vol. 2 (The Twilight Saga) – Stephenie Meyer, Young Kim
New Moon The Graphic Novel, Vol. 2 (The Twilight Saga) - Stephenie Meyer, Young Kim
Thoughts: How have the graphic novels only gotten this far? I mean, seriously, the series finished almost ten years ago.

35. We Are Still Tornadoes – Michael Kun, Susan Mullen
We Are Still Tornadoes - Michael Kun, Susan Mullen
Thoughts: Oh good, I was afraid you’d devolved into a mere gale.

36. Forever Doon (Doon #4) – Carey Corp, Lorie Langdon
Forever Doon (Doon ) - Carey Corp, Lorie Langdon
Thoughts: Is this series really not doon yet?

37. Tales from the Shadowhunter Academy – Cassandra Clare, Sarah Rees Brennan, Maureen Johnson, Robin Wasserman
Tales from the Shadowhunter Academy - Cassandra Clare, Sarah Rees Brennan, Maureen Johnson, Robin Wasserman
Thoughts: Shadowhunters are too cool for hairbrushes. And copyright infringement lawsuits.

38. The Monster War (The League of Seven ) – Alan Gratz
The Monster War (The League of Seven ) - Alan Gratz
Thoughts: You can tell she’s a villain because she’s grabbing her boob in front of chilluns.

39. Alone (The Generations Trilogy #3) – Scott Sigler
Alone (The Generations Trilogy #3) - Scott Sigler
Thoughts: I’m all alone / there’s no one here besiiiiiiide me.

40. Black Flowers, White Lies – Yvonne Ventresca
Black Flowers, White Lies - Yvonne Ventresca
Thoughts: Rather grave.

41. Genesis Girl (Blank Slate #1) – Jennifer Bardsley
Genesis Girl (Blank Slate #1) - Jennifer Bardsley
Thoughts: Roughly a third of dystopian covers look like this.

42. Enter a Glossy Web – McKenna Ruebush
Enter a Glossy Web - McKenna Ruebush
Thoughts: A couple people and a dragon are getting a golden shower? >.>

43. In the Shadow of the Dragon King (The Chronicles of Fallhollow #1) – J. Keller Ford
In the Shadow of the Dragon King - J. Keller Ford
Thoughts: This cover says, “please by this while you wait for GRRM.”

44. Tokens and Omens – Jeri Baird
Tokens and Omens - Jeri Baird
Thoughts: So a giant wolf ate them and now they’re journeying into its gullet.

45. dotwav – Mike A. Lancaster
dotwav - Mike A. Lancaster
Thoughts: What a friendly cover. It’s waving at us!

46. Flip the Bird – Kym Brunner
Flip the Bird - Kym Brunner
Thoughts: Quite flip.

Cover Battles:

1. My Sister Rosa – Justine Larbalestier

My Sister Rosa - Justine Larbalestier
My Sister Rosa - Justine Larbalestier

Australian vs. US: Simple but eerie. Do the moth and it adds up to a good cover.

2. The Fall of Butterflies – Andrea Portes

The Fall of Butterflies - Andrea Portes
The Fall of Butterflies - Andrea Portes

US Take 1 vs. US Take 2: Now with more butterflies.

3. Black River Falls – Jeff Hirsch

Black River Falls - Jeff Hirsch
Black River Falls - Jeff Hirsch

US Take 1 vs. US Take 2: Well, that managed to get even more generic post-apocalyptic.

4. Cloudwish – Fiona Wood

Cloudwish - Fiona Wood aus
Cloudwish - Fiona Wood

Australian vs. US: Dear cloud, I wish for it not to rain. Cloud: *rains* FUCK YOU, CLOUD.

WTF of the Week:

WTF of the Week began as a special category for one cover I saw, but was so popular it became a recurring feature. Here, I highlight covers, both new and old, that I’ve found, which, upon viewing, made me either snort or say something along the lines of “Dear God, what is that thing?”

1. Animal Attraction – Jamie Ponti
Animal Attraction - Jamie Ponti
Thoughts: Back in high school, I really enjoyed these Simon Pulse books, but I missed the one about teen furries.

2. Duty Bound Guardian (Capitol K-9 Unit #2) – Terri Reed
Duty Bound Guardian - Terri Reed
Thoughts: I will never not be uncomfortable when I see romance novels with a human and an animal on the cover.

3. But… You’re a Horse – David Bussell
But... You're a Horse - David Bussell
Thoughts: NEIGH.

4 responses to “Cover Snark (177): Out on Snark Behavior”

  1. Tez Miller says:

    7. “The world is at her feet, but will she save it?” Obviously yes, because it says “Book 1” in the Goodreads link. Ugh, dislike rhetorical questions on the book covers/summaries. “The world is at her feet, but will she save it?” “Nah…” 😉

    28. So what IS a “lapidary”?

    30. How does her makeup & hair colour NOT leak colour in the water? (I mean, yeah, she has a whale/dolphin tail, but somehow I find the not-leaking-colour the most unrealistic 😉 )

    34. Hehe, I like how the hand is reaching out to Edward, but he’s all, “Nah, don’t want to touch that; might get germs.” 😉

    Thanks for the snark! 🙂
    Tez Miller recently posted…4 New Covers (Abbott, Detweiler, Kaufman & Kristoff, Metcalf)My Profile

  2. 30. Her magical power is clearly keeping her clothes and knife in pristine condition while submerged in seawater. I must emphasize again with those books: why do they wear so much clothing?????

    44. Or maybe they’re fighting to get out? Throats are slippery climbing I hear…
    Anya @ On Starships and Dragonwings recently posted…Siren’s Song by Mary Weber eARC {3 Stars}My Profile

  3. Angie says:

    I’m going to spend the rest of my afternoon laughing over the Sea Spell cover. And seriously HOW IS DOON STILL GOING ON.

    I am completely obsessed with the Beast cover though and bless you because if it wasn’t for Cover Snark I probably would never have heard of this book.
    Angie recently posted…Monthly Wrap-Up: FebruaryMy Profile

  4. Vassa in the night is STUNNING. I also really like When the moon was ours. The cover from Beast can only be more perfect if the story is as good as the outside.
    Mel@thedailyprophecy recently posted…Review 252. C.J Redwine – The shadow queen.My Profile

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