Cover Snark (172): The Incredible Adventures of Snark Girl

Welcome to Cover Snark, where the people are snarky and the covers quiver in fear. Since I don’t write many snarky book reviews here on A Reader of Fictions, Cover Snark is my outlet. If you click on the title of the book, where possible, I’ve linked to Goodreads. Clicking on the cover itself will show you the cover in a larger size, in most cases. Feel free to love covers I hate and vice versa. Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

Please note that you should by no means contact the author if you do not like their cover; they likely have ZERO control. Feel free to express opinions in the comments, but please do not @ an author on Twitter because of anything you’ve seen here. Let’s keep it kind.

Shiny and New:

1. The Girl of Ink & Stars – Kiran Millwood Hargrave
The Girl of Ink & Stars - Kiran Millwood Hargrave
Thoughts: The cover of gorgeousness & profile.

2. Die for You – Amy Fellner Dominy
Die for You - Amy Fellner Dominy
Thoughts: Impossible to end eye contact. SEND HALP. Wait you can’t you are also captured oh no.

3. Great Falls – Steve Watkins
Great Falls - Steve Watkins
Thoughts: Oar you impressed?

4. From Under the Mountain – Cait Spivey
From Under the Mountain - Cait Spivey
Thoughts: Sexy badass, party of one.

5. Just a Girl – Ellie Cahill
Just a Girl - Ellie Cahill
Thoughts: No Doubt this is is disappointing.

6. The Form of Things Unknown – Robin Bridges
The Form of Things Unknown - Robin Bridges
Thoughts: This looks like too many other covers but super awkwardly done. The couple and the rest of it just really don’t fit together imo.

7. Legacy of Secrets (Kingdom Keepers: The Return #2) – Ridley Pearson
The Return (The Legacy of Secrets #2) - Ridley Pearson
Thoughts: Bellatrix??? Fenrir?????

8. Under Rose-Tainted Skies – Louise Gornall
Under Rose-Tainted Skies - Louise Gornall
Thoughts: LOVE the way they integrated the tagline, but um it’s a weird day when the tagline is my favorite bit.

9. The Darkest Magic (Spirits and Thieves #2) – Morgan Rhodes
The Darkest Magic - Morgan Rhodes
Thoughts: Evil little red riding hood?

10. Against All Silence (SOS #2) – E.C. Myers
Against All Silence - E.C. Myers
Thoughts: Nice, but I also feel like I’ve seen it before.

11. This Is Not the Abby Show – Debbie Reed Fischer
This Is Not the Abby Show - Debbie Reed Fischer
Thoughts: In which the title and the tagline fight a duel. One of them is lying to the reader, but which one?

12. Secret of the Time Tablets (Cleopatra in Space #3) – Mike Maihack
Cleopatra in Space (Secret of the Time Tablets #3) - Mike Maihack
Thoughts: I hate hate hate when I can’t tell which is the series name and which is the book title. I guessed wrong here.

13. Dr. Fell and the Playground of Doom – David Neilsen
Dr. Fell and the Playground of Doom - David Neilsen500*
Thoughts: Dear children, why would you ever go to a playground where this dude was lurking? OMG RUN. Do not pass go; do not collect the free candy.

14. Zoe in Wonderland – Brenda Woods
Zoe in Wonderland - Brenda Woods
Thoughts: When your book is so good you don’t even notice your chair has fallen over.

15. The Dark Missions of Edgar Brim – Shane Peacock
The Dark Missions of Edgar Brim - Shane Peacock
Thoughts: The B in Brim looks a bit more like an R, and I do think a different color might have set this off better than yellow and maroon for the fonts.

16. Thornghost – Tone Almhjell
Thornghost - Tone Almjhell
Thoughts: Pretty sure I love this, though I wish I could have found a larger image so I could see the detail on the figures.

17. The Trouble with Twins – Kathryn Siebel
The Trouble with Twins - Kathryn Siebel
Thoughts: They keep cutting each other’s hair ribbons?

18. Teddycats – Mike Storey
Teddycats - Mike Storey
Thoughts: Sort of expecting them to all break out into a song right about NOW.

19. The Many Worlds of Albie Bright – Christopher Edge
The Many Worlds of Albie Bright - Christopher Edge
Thoughts: Can’t you give the other covers a chance, MG? Geez.

20. Ms. Bixby’s Last Day – John David Anderson
Ms. Bixby's Last Day - John David Anderson
Thoughts: There’s a sort of updated old school middle grade vibe to this which I like.

21. Your Presidential Fantasy Dream Team – Daniel O’Brien
Your Presidential Fantasy Dream Team - Daniel O'Brien
Thoughts: HERE COMES THE GENERAL.

22. The Secret Fire (Secret Box #3) – Whitaker Ringwald
The Secret Fire - Whitaker Ringwald
Thoughts: It’s like the girl in prison knows she cannot count on those boys to save her. Just look at all those members of the patriarchy above that girl in jail too. Ugh.

23. It Wasn’t Always Like This – Joy Preble
It Wasn't Always Like This - Joy Preble
Thoughts: Then can we perhaps look at one of those earlier cover designs orrrrr???

24. The Secret Life of Daisy Fitzjohn – Tania Unsworth
The Secret Life of Daisy Fitzjohn - Tania Unsworth
Thoughts: Don’t get (pea)cocky now, cover.

25. Recreated (Reawakened #2) – Colleen Houck
Recreated - Colleen Houck
Thoughts: I imagine when you pick up an actual copy of this, you can’t get the glitter off you for days.

26. A Good Hiding – Shirley-Anne McMillan
A Good Hiding - Shirley-Anne McMillan
Thoughts: I enjoy the wordplay of the cover, but I’m curious what it has to do with origami.

27. Roman Crazy (The Broads Abroad #1) – Alice Clayton & Nina Bocci
Roman Crazy - Alice Clayton & Nina Bocci
Thoughts: WTF is that title?

28. Paige in Progress (Reluctant Hearts #3) – Brighton Walsh
Paige in Progress - Brighton Walsh
Thoughts: Well, she’s definitely made progress on her subtle pout.

29. The Girl in the Picture – Alexandra Monir
The Girl in the Picture - Alexandra Monir
Thoughts: This girl got way too close to the camera in the little photobooth. But she has major talent to get those pictures to come out right.

30. Sticks & Stones – Abby Cooper
Sticks & Stones - Abby Cooper
Thoughts: I like how they put the title on her skin because it’s hit her physically like sticks and stones.

31. The Girlfriend Request – Jodie Andrefski
The Girlfriend Request - Jodie Andrefski
Thoughts: The jacket grab on his part is interesting. It works a bit better with ties or larger lapels, but it’s pretty cute. Also would have put more of the focus on his face following the Susan Sarandon on Friends school of acting, except they cut his head off. Oops.

32. If I Fall – Jessica Sorensen
If I Fall - Jessica Sorensen
Thoughts: BRB need to spend a while figuring out what all of the overlaid words say.

33. A Gatlin Wedding (Beautiful Creatures: The Untold Stories #4) – Kami Garcia & Margaret Stohl
A Gatlin Wedding - Kami Garcia & Margaret Stohl
Thoughts: How is this series still going?

34. The Girls – Emma Cline
The Girls - Emma Cline
Thoughts: Almost Famous as interpreted by Andy Warhol?

35. Scardust – Suzanne van Rooyen
Scardust - Suzanne van Rooyen
Thoughts: Elements of this I actually really like, but the faces on the wing = NO. Also, SCAR.DUST.

36. The Flame Never Dies (The Stars Never Rise #2) – Rachel Vincent
The Flame Never Dies (The Stars Never Rise, #2) - Rachel Vincent
Thoughts: But this feather would die from the flames really quickly.

37. F*ck Love – Tarryn Fisher
Fuck Love - Tarryn Fisher
Thoughts: Why put ‘fuck” in your title if you’re too shy to actually PUT “fuck” in your title? This isn’t the Sunday funnies, okay.

38. The Mother Road – Meghan Quinn
The Mother Road - Meghan Quinn
Thoughts: That’s mothereffing adorable!

39. You’re Still the One (Country Blues #1) – Rachel Harris
You're Still the One (Country Blues) - Rachel Harris
Thoughts: Thanks for the earworm.

40. Survival Game – Gary Gibson
Survival Game - Gary Gibson
Thoughts: Just begging to be made into Jerry Bruckheimer movies.

41. Turquoiseblood – Cecelia Isaac
Turquoiseblood - Cecelia Isaac
Thoughts: HELLO DRAGON.

42. The Fever Code (Maze Runner #0.6) – James Dashner
The Fever Code (Maze Runner #) - James Dashner
Thoughts: I do not understand these color choices (or why this exists).

43. Pearl – Deirdre Riordan Hall
Pearl - Deirdre Riordan Hall
Thoughts: It looks like she’s being devoured by a tullemonster.

44. The Search for the Homestead Treasure: A Mystery – Ann Treacy
The Search for the Homestead Treasure A Mystery - Ann Treacy
Thoughts: Based on that eye, my theory is that Count Olaf took it.

45. Eternity’s Wheel (InterWorld #3) – Michael Reaves & Mallory Reaves
Eternity's Wheel (InterWorld #3) - Michael Reaves & Mallory Reaves
Thoughts: PLEASE PLEASE BUY THIS EVEN THOUGH NEIL GAIMAN IS NO LONGER INVOLVED!!!

Cover Battles:

1. The Hidden Oracle (The Trials of Apollo #1) – Rick Riordan

The Hidden Oracle (The Trials of Apollo #1) - Rick Riordan
The Hidden Oracle (The Trials of Apollo #1) - Rick Riordan uk

US vs. UK: Both pretty respectable Riordan covers. It’s sort of a miracle.

2. The Incredible Adventures of Cinnamon Girl – Melissa Keil

The Incredible Adventures of Cinnamon Girl - Melissa Keil, Mike Lawrence Australia
The Incredible Adventures of Cinnamon Girl - Melissa Keil, Mike Lawrence german
The Incredible Adventures of Cinnamon Girl - Melissa Keil, Mike Lawrence
The Incredible Adventures of Cinnamon Girl - Melissa Keil

Australian vs. German vs. US vs. UK: Def not my favorite of them but this book has been pretty blessed cover-wise.

3. Kissing Ted Callahan (And Other Guys) – Amy Spalding

Kissing Ted Callahan (And Other Guys) - Amy Spalding
Kissing Ted Callahan (And Other Guys) - Amy Spalding

US Hardback vs. US Paperback: Good redesign, I’d say. Though they need to add about a million exclamation points to make it fit the book.

4. The Cemetery Boys – Heather Brewer

The Cemetery Boys - Heather Brewer
The Cemetery Boys - Heather Brewer

US Hardback vs. US Paperback: Vast improvement IMO.

5. Dream On (The Silver Trilogy #2) – Kerstin Gier

Dream On (The Silver Trilogy #2) - Kerstin Gier German
Dream On (The Silver Trilogy #2) - Kerstin Gier italian
Dream On (The Silver Trilogy #2) - Kerstin Gier dutch
Dream On (The Silver Trilogy #2) - Kerstin Gier

German vs. Italian vs. Dutch vs. US: The German covers are lovely!

WTF of the Week:

WTF of the Week began as a special category for one cover I saw, but was so popular it became a recurring feature. Here, I highlight covers, both new and old, that I’ve found, which, upon viewing, made me either snort or say something along the lines of “Dear God, what is that thing?” If you would like to be part of the fun and have spotted a truly hilarious or horrifying cover, submit it and your snark to readeroffictions@gmail.com and you might be included, though I will filter through submissions and limit the number of entries per week.

1. Stripped Bear (Last True Vampire #0.5) – Kate Baxter
Stripped Bear - Kate Baxter
Thoughts: Bears are always bare. It is their natural state. They don’t have to strip.

2. Dom Wars: Round One (Dom Wars #1) – Lucian Bane
Dom Wars - Lucian Bane
Thoughts: Something rose to greet you. And why the fuck is it so dark?

3. President Domald Loch Ness Tromp Pounds America’s Butt – Chuck Tingle
President Domald Loch Ness Tromp Pounds America's Butt - Chuck Tingle
Thoughts: If only there were a toupee on that monster, this would be sheer perfection.

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