Cover Snark (171): Ever the Snarked

Welcome to Cover Snark, where the people are snarky and the covers quiver in fear. Since I don’t write many snarky book reviews here on A Reader of Fictions, Cover Snark is my outlet. If you click on the title of the book, where possible, I’ve linked to Goodreads. Clicking on the cover itself will show you the cover in a larger size, in most cases. Feel free to love covers I hate and vice versa. Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

Please note that you should by no means contact the author if you do not like their cover; they likely have ZERO control. Feel free to express opinions in the comments, but please do not @ an author on Twitter because of anything you’ve seen here. Let’s keep it kind.

Shiny and New:

1. Warrior Witch (The Malediction Trilogy #3) – Danielle L. Jensen
Warrior Witch - Danielle L. Jensen
Thoughts: This has some nicy snow queen vibes.

2. Soldier Sister, Fly Home – Nancy Bo Flood
Soldier Sister, Fly Home - Nancy Bo Flood
Thoughts: Is the little girl the soldier or is Soldier Sister the name of the horse?

3. The Truth Game (The Dirt Diary #4) – Anna Staniszewski
The Truth Game (The Dirt Diary #4) - Anna Staniszewski
Thoughts: You know, this makes me grateful that Facebook and Twitter and stuff were not around when I was this age.

4. Before The Devil Knows You’re Dead – Teresa Mummert
Before The Devil Knows You're Dead - Teresa Mummert
Thoughts: Out, damn spot!

5. Chasing Spring – R.S. Grey
Chasing Spring - R.S. Grey
Thoughts: I was thinking this was a terrible town, but being more logical that’s actually probably a low number for those things in any town.

6. The Deep – Teresa Mummert
The Deep - Teresa Mummert
Thoughts: Interesting place to do yoga.

7. Chaos Choreography (InCryptid #5) – Seanan McGuire
Chaos Choreography (InCryptid #) - Seanan McGuire
Thoughts: Could they look any more like Sookie Stackhouse?

8. The Emperor’s Railroad – Guy Haley
The Emperor's Railroad - Guy Haley
Thoughts: Hellooooooo, I do love a man who can actually rock long hair and that beard.

9. Snakewood – Adrian Selby
Snakewood - Adrian Selby
Thoughts: Is the price moping in the woods by yourself?

10. Radio Silence – Alice Oseman
Radio Silence - Alice Oseman
Thoughts: On the one hand, I love that there’s a girl with a nose ring on a teen book cover, but also looking at nose rings makes me uncomfortable because I’m imagining how it gets there and ack.

11. Into Deep Space (The Galahad Archives #2) – Dom Testa
Into Deep Space (The Galahad Archives #2) - Dom Testa
Thoughts: There is just no excuse for a space book cover to be this bad.

12. Wonderboy – Nicole Burstein
Wonderboy - Nicole Burstein
Thoughts: WONDERBOYYYYYY WHAT IS THE SECRET OF YOUR POWERRRRRS???

13. This Is My Brain Oo Boys – Sarah Strohmeyer
This Is My Brain On Boys - Sarah Strohmeyer
Thoughts: This officially wins best title ever. STROH awesome.

14. Dan vs. Nature – Don Calame
Dan vs. Nature - Don Calame
Thoughts: EW BUGS. BEAR, PLEASE KILL THOSE BUGS. K THX BAI.

15. Beware That Girl – Teresa Toten
Beware That Girl - Teresa Toten
Thoughts: Is that Jenna Marshall from Pretty Little Liars?

16. Fjord Blue – Nina Rossing
Fjord Blue - Nina Rossing
Thoughts: Fire fake.

17. Never Ever – Sara Saedi
Never Ever - Sara Saedi
Thoughts: Seriously? More Peter Pan books? WHAT IS HAPPENING? Do not like that tagline or the girl in the mirror but otherwise this is cute.

18. And I Darken (The Conquerors Saga #1) – Kiersten White
And I Darken - Kiersten White
Thoughts: You don’t often see spearflowers as the weapon of choice.

19. Flirting with Fame – Samantha Joyce
Flirting with Fame - Samantha Joyce
Thoughts: *debates about whether that means celebrity romance or if some poor LI is actually named Fame*

20. Stars Above (The Lunar Chronicles #0.5, 0.6, 1.5, 3.1, & 3.6) – Marissa Meyer
Stars Above - Marissa Meyer
Thoughts: It’s ELECTRIFYING.

21. South of Sunshine – Dana Elmendorf
South of Sunshine - Dana Elmendorf
Thoughts: This cover has girls holding hands on it. Automatic win.

22. Incriminated (Emancipated #2) – M.G. Reyes
Incriminated (Emancipated #2) - M.G. Reyes
Thoughts: I know what you did last skinnydip.

23. Unplugged – Donna Freitas
Unplugged - Donna Freitas
Thoughts: Anyone else thinking of this cylon?

24. Who Killed Sherlock Holmes? (Shadow Police #3) – Paul Cornell
Who Killed Sherlock Holmes (Shadow Police #) - Paul Cornell
Thoughts: Spoiler alert?

25. Flight from Mayhem (Fly by Night #) – Yasmine Galenorn
Flight from Mayhem (Fly by Night #) - Yasmine Galenorn
Thoughts: Not that she doesn’t look great in them, but I would want to be fleeing mayhem in pants that tight.

26. Asleep – Krystal Wade
Asleep - Krystal Wade
Thoughts: There’s more of a middle grade than YA vibe but damn that’s cool and creepy.

27. Daughters of the Bride – Susan Mallery
Daughters of the Bride - Susan Mallery
Thoughts: PRETTY DRESSES.

28. The Killer in Me – Margot Harrison
The Killer in Me - Margot Harrison
Thoughts: Down for lady murderers (in fiction; obvs irl murder is bad).

29. Dead Girls Society – Michelle Krys
Dead Girls Society - Michelle Krys
Thoughts: You shouldn’t open this because you can’t mar that gorgeous seal. Nope nope.

30. The Crimson Skew (The Mapmakers Trilogy #3) – S.E. Grove
The Crimson Skew (The Mapmakers Trilogy #3) - S.E. Grove
Thoughts: It’s either quite smelly there or she’s gone for her smelling salts from the excitement of this journey.

31. Paper Doll – Teresa Mummert
Paper Doll - Teresa Mummert
Thoughts: It’s not too often that I’m in love with blur effects and this is not one of those times. Also she is blending into the yellow background. Is she a Simpson?

32. Facsimile (Facsimile #1) – Vicki L. Weavil
Facsimile - Vicki L. Weavil
Thoughts: She’s alone though.

33. The Trees – Ali Shaw
The Trees - Ali Shaw
Thoughts: A FOX MADE OF FOLIAGE.

34. The Eyes of the Dragon – Stephen King
The Eyes of the Dragon -Stephen King
Thoughts: SO CUTE.

35. Robota – Doug Chiang & Orson Scott Card
Robota - Doug Chiang & Orson Scott Card
Thoughts: Catbot!

36. Golden (Heart of Dread #3) – Melissa de la Cruz & Michael Johnston
Golden (Heart of Dread #3) - Melissa de la Cruz & Michael Johnston
Thoughts: Who needs brass knuckles when you’ve got this ring?

37. You Will Know Me – Megan Abbott
You Will Know Me – Megan Abbott
Thoughts: You Will Know My Eyebrows <.<

38. As You Breathe Again (The Walker Boys #2) – Molli Moran
As You Breathe Again (Walker Boys #3) - Molli Moran
Thoughts: This is a big step forward in cover game for this author, though I’m wondering how the characters got this old if they stopped breathing for a long period of time.

39. Ever the Hunted (Clash of Kingdoms #1) – Erin Summerill
Ever the Hunted (Clash of Kingdoms #1) - Erin Summerill
Thoughts: I like it, but would have liked it more before Ruined happened. They’re just similar enough they kind of cancel each other out in my head.

40. The Winner’s Kiss (The Winner’s Trilogy #3) – Marie Rutkoski
The Winner's Kiss by Marie Rutkoski
Thoughts: The 100 meets TOG vibe is very obvious and this is my fave of the redesigns.

41. Before I Wake – Teresa Mummert
Before I Wake - Teresa Mummert
Thoughts: Clearly she was pranked by her friends in the middle of the night. “No, really, you grow wings when you’re snoring. Also btws you sleep with your eyes open.”

42. The Thing About Leftovers – C.C. Payne
The Thing About Leftovers - C.C. Payne
Thoughts: Spaghettitle.

Cover Battles:

1. Where You’ll Find Me – Natasha Friend

Where You'll Find Me - Natasha Friend
Where You'll Find Me - Natasha Friend

Take 1 vs. Take 2: Out with the illustration; in with the photo

2. Exquisite Captive (Dark Caravan Cycle #1) – Heather Demetrios

Exquisite Captive - Heather Demetrios
Exquisite Captive (Dark Caravan Cycle #1) - Heather Demetrios

US Hardback vs. US Paperback: While I like the POV cover, bless this redesign because…

3. Blood Passage (Dark Caravan Cycle #1) – Heather Demetrios

Blood Passage (Caravan Cycle #2) - Heather Demetrios
Blood Passage (Dark Caravan Cycle #1) - Heather Demetrios

US Hardback vs. US Paperback: …I really didn’t like the Blood Passage cover.

4. The Nightmare Stacks (Laundry Files #7) – Charles Stross

The Nightmare Stacks - Charles Stross
The Nightmare Stacks - Charles Stross UK

US vs. UK: The US one bores me but the UK is a hot pink monstrosity and :/

5. Finding Audrey – Sophie Kinsella

Finding Audrey - Sophie Kinsella UK hb
Finding Audrey - Sophie Kinsella

UK Hardback vs. UK Paperback: So. Bright. You need sunglasses to look at this cover of Audrey in her sunglasses.

6. The Hundred Names of Darkness (The Wildlings #2) – Nilanjana Roy

The Hundred Names of Darkness - Nilanjana Roy Indian
The Hundred Names of Darkness - Nilanjana Roy

India vs. Canada: Who run the world? CATS.

7. The Winner’s Curse (The Winner’s Trilogy #1) – Marie Rutkoski

The Winner's Curse - Marie Rutkoski
The Winner's Curse - Marie Rutkoski

US Original vs. US Redesign: Listen, this has been snarked to death on Twitter, so I’ll submit without comment.

8. The Winner’s Crime (The Winner’s Trilogy #2) – Marie Rutkoski

The Winner's Crime - Marie Rutkoski
The Winner's Crime - Marie Rutkoski

Original vs. Redesign: Vote away on the divisive cover change.

WTF of the Week:

WTF of the Week began as a special category for one cover I saw, but was so popular it became a recurring feature. Here, I highlight covers, both new and old, that I’ve found, which, upon viewing, made me either snort or say something along the lines of “Dear God, what is that thing?” If you would like to be part of the fun and have spotted a truly hilarious or horrifying cover, submit it and your snark to readeroffictions@gmail.com and you might be included, though I will filter through submissions and limit the number of entries per week.

1. Tutu’s & Cowboy Boots (Tutu’s & Cowboy Boots #1) – Casey Peeler
Tutu's & Cowboy Boots - Casey Peeler
Thoughts: AN APOSTROPHE DOES NOT MAKE THINGS PLURAL. *burns world down*

2. Sherlock Holmes and the Miskatonic Monstrosities (The Chthulhu Casebooks #2) – James Lovegrove
Sherlock Holmes and the Miskatonic Monstrosites (The Chthulhu Casebooks #2) - James Lovegrove
Thoughts: What is a monstrosite? I definitely read that as monstrosities and then did a doubletake. Hmmmm, the author’s cover reveal post says Miskatonic Monstrosities. Something’s not right here. AWKWARD.

4 responses to “Cover Snark (171): Ever the Snarked”

  1. Juliene says:

    Actually, Cover battle #1 is Take 1 vs. Take 2, because the hardcover drops on March 8, 2016. Not sure why they rebranded, Friend’s middle school titles have always done well with illustrated covers.

    • Christina Franke says:

      Whoops, I fixed that. I try to check these things, but these posts take forever and occasionally things slip through.

  2. Hannah says:

    – I adore Seanan McGuire, but the covers for that series are a tad questionable.

    -Gotta say, I’m definitely on Team #Original when it comes to Marie Rutkoski’s covers. Shame for the author though, she got a lot of angst about it but it’s not like she had anything to do with it.
    Hannah recently posted…Review: Breakout (Dred Chronicles #3) – Ann AguirreMy Profile

  3. 1. I agree and it also looks really nice next to the other covers.
    5. Pretty flowers.
    8. He looks like a Game of thrones character. I approve.
    13. Hahaha.
    22. Oh no. It’s a series after all?
    26. I love how they build the title in such a way, that it blends in with the picture.
    Mel@thedailyprophecy recently posted…Reading and Blogging resolutions 2016.My Profile

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