Cover Snark (167): Snark About Town

Welcome to Cover Snark, where the people are snarky and the covers quiver in fear. Since I don’t write many snarky book reviews here on A Reader of Fictions, Cover Snark is my outlet. If you click on the title of the book, where possible, I’ve linked to Goodreads. Clicking on the cover itself will show you the cover in a larger size, in most cases. Feel free to love covers I hate and vice versa. Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

Shiny and New:

1. Girl About Town – Adam Shankman & Laura L. Sullivan
Girl About Town - Adam Shankman & Laura L. Sullivan
Thoughts: This cover makes me feel like I had a bit too much at the speakeasy, which may be what they’re going for?

2. Jerkbait – Mia Siegert
Jerkbait - Mia Siegert
Thoughts: It is oddly disconcerting looking at a person without a face. Or maybe that’s not odd. Either way DISCONCERTING.

3. The Iron Tomb (Pyramid Hunters) – Peter Vegas
The Iron Tomb (Pyramid Hunters) - Peter Vegas
Thoughts: Congrats, kids! You found the pyramids!

4. Siren’s Song (The Storm Siren Trilogy #3) – Mary Weber
Siren's Song - Mary Weber
Thoughts: That is some super sweet back jewelry.

5. The Beauty of Darkness (The Remnant Chronicles #3) – Mary E. Pearson
The Beauty of Darkness (The Remnant Chronicles #3) - Mary E. Pearson
Thoughts: Well, damn. I’ve never been a huge fan of the cover style they ended up with on these, but this is badass.

6. The Shadow Hour (The Girl at Midnight #2) – Melissa Grey
The Shadow Hour (The Girl at Midnight #2) - Melissa Grey
Thoughts: The world can also be set on fire by a phoenix and four dragons.

7. The Star-Touched Queen – Roshani Chokshi
The Star-Touched Queen - Roshani Chokshi
Thoughts: So Walk On Earth a Stranger plus The Queen of the Tearling?

8. Smash & Grab – Amy Christine Parker
Smash & Grab - Amy Christine Parker
Thoughts: Clearly we’re following the Hollywood idea of perfect heist-wear. She probably prepped by wearing heels on the treadmill.

9. Third Base (The Boys of Summer #1) – Heidi McLaughlin
Third Base - Heidi McLaughlin
Thoughts: He looks more like he wants to murder your face than go to third base.

10. The Starlit Wood – Dominik Parisien & Navah Wolfe, eds
The Starlit Wood - Dominik Parisien & Navah Wolfe, eds
Thoughts: Completely lovely, and I hope the hardback has all the textures because yes. I cannot un-notice however, the random ornamentation under the W. Why just the W??

11. All Fixed Up (Ciel Halligan #4) – Linda Grimes
All Fixed Up (Ciel Halligan) - Linda Grimes
Thoughts: I’m really hoping this is a bisexual love triangle with the way the guy on the right is staring sexily at guy on the left.

12. Songbyrd – Anna Silver
Songbyrd - Anna Silver
Thoughts: The heroine of this book is named INNOCENCE BYRD. That is all.

13. With Malice – Eileen Cook
With Malice - Eileen Cook
Thoughts: A Town Called Malice?

14. The Glittering Court (The Glittering Court #1) – Richelle Mead
The Glittering Court (The Glittering Court #1) - Richelle Mead
Thoughts: It’s not the worst thing ever! ARE RICHELLE MEAD’S COVER FORTUNES ON THE RISE?

15. The Natural History of Us (The Fine Art of Pretending #2) – Rachel Harris
The Natural History of Us - Rachel Harris
Thoughts: Are these people white enough? Idk, maybe we should add a beigey background to really just make sure it conveys whiteness.

16. Signs of You – Emily France
Signs of You - Emily France
Thoughts: Are the signs bird poop?

17. Julia Vanishes – Catherine Egan
Julia Vanishes - Catherine Egan
Thoughts: She’s going to run off and hide in plain sight as part of the Blue (wo)Man Group.

18. The Safest Lies – Megan Miranda
The Safest Lies - Megan Miranda
Thoughts: It’s kinda bland but also it looks like Veronica Mars a bit so okay.

19. Project (Un)Popular (#1) – Kristen Tracy
Project (Un)Popular (#1) - Kristen Tracy
Thoughts: Farts are the chemical weapons of this war.

20. Losing Gabriel: A Love Story – Lurlene McDaniel
Losing Gabriel A Love Story - Lurlene McDaniel
Thoughts: Could this BE any more like a Nicholas Sparks book?

21. This is the Part Where You Laugh – Peter Brown Hoffmeister
This is the Part Where You Laugh - Peter Brown Hoffmeister
Thoughts: SCHADENFREUDEEEEEE

22. Tell Us Something True – Dana Reinhardt
Tell Us Something True - Dana Reinhardt
Thoughts: This guy’s truth is that he can’t remember where he parked his car.

23. Meet Me Here – Bryan Bliss
Meet Me Here - Bryan Bliss
Thoughts: It’s never to late for a zombie outbreak at a teen party.

24. The Distance from A to Z – Natalie Blitt
The Distance from A to Z - Natalie Blitt
Thoughts: The publisher REALLY doesn’t need a giant banner at the bottom of each cover; it distracts from the cuteness of a teen actually carrying a backpack on a book cover.

25. Stars so Sweet (All Four Stars) – Tara Dairman
Stars so Sweet (All Four Stars) - Tara Dairman
Thoughts: I spy macarons, so I suspect Dahlia‘s going to be crashing this party any time now.

26. Remembrance (Mediator #7) – Meg Cabot
Remembrance (Mediator #7) - Meg Cabot
Thoughts: Guess who’s back, back again.

27. The Raven King (The Raven Cycle #4) – Maggie Stiefvater
The Raven King (The Raven Cycle #4) - Maggie Stiefvater
Thoughts: HOLY SHIT. SO DEER TO ME.

28. Night Speed – Chris Howard
Night Speed - Chris Howard
Thoughts: A bit more cartoonish than I would have hoped, but the tagline is fab.

29. Love and Other Alien Experiences – Kerry Winfrey
Love and Other Alien Experiences - Kerry Winfrey
Thoughts: I’m not sure about all of the font choices, but I don’t think it will alienate readers!

30. Unforgivable (Invincible #2) – Amy Reed
Unforgivable - Amy Reed
Thoughts: *begins singing The Origin of Love*

31. The Right Man for the Job (Campbell Brothers, #2) – Alisha Rai
The Right Man for the Job - Alisha Rai
Thoughts: I’m not a huge fan of the color block for the title, but very yes to the woman’s expression and fashion sense and how she is owning this cover.

32. The Awakening of Sunshine Girl (The Haunting of Sunshine Girl #2) – Paige McKenzie
The Awakening of Sunshine Girl - Paige McKenzie
Thoughts: She must be so confused to wake up in a gorgeous dress in a milk bath.

33. Bloodcraft (Bloodspell #2) – Amalie Howard
Bloodcraft - Amalie Howard
Thoughts: That is one see through dress down below.

34. Eterna and Omega (Eterna Files #2) – Leanna Renee Hieber
Eterna and Omega (Eterna Files #2) - Leanna Renee Hieber
Thoughts: I want another chalice of cawfee.

35. Roadside Magic (Gallow & Ragged #2) – Lilith Saintcrow
Roadside Magic - Lilith Saintcrow
Thoughts: Stop your motorcycle, drop to the ground, and roll, because you’re a little bit on fire.

36. Dragonmark (Dark-Hunter Novel #20) – Sherrilyn Kenyon
Dragonmark (Dark-Hunter Novel #20) - Sherrilyn Kenyon
Thoughts: Adding the face to the dragon tattoo is unique but bad call.

37. Jane Steele – Lyndsay Faye
Jane Steele - Lyndsay Faye
Thoughts: YASSSSSS

38. Afterlight – Rebecca Lim
Afterlight -Rebecca Lim
Thoughts: Is this the cover version of a slap?

39. The Creeper Man – Dawn Kurtagich
The Creeper Man - Dawn Kurtagich
Thoughts: DON’T LOOK AT ME.

40. Heir to the Sky – Amanda Sun
Heir to the Sky - Amanda Sun
Thoughts: The heir to the sky looks like she’s about to splat on the ground.

41. The Sleeping Prince (The Sin Eater’s Daughter #2) – Melinda Salisbury
The Sleeping Prince - Melinda Salisbury
Thoughts: Why can’t the sleeping prince be in the tiny jar? Why do we always put ladies in jars?

42. Autumn’s Wish (Autumn Falls #3) – Bella Thorne
Autumn's Wish - Bella Thorne
Thoughts: Autumn wishes for spring but never the twain shall meet.

43. A Walk in the Sun – Michelle Zink
A Walk in the Sun – Michelle Zink
Thoughts: Are those sunglasses or regular glasses? You don’t see people in glasses on covers very often. Or, actually, dudes in such non-sexy outfits.

44. The Way Back Home (Wildflower #3) – Alecia Whitaker
The Way Back Home (Wildflower #3) - Alecia Whitaker
Thoughts: Home is where the guitar stand is.

45. Outward Blonde – Trish Cook
Outward Blonde - Trish Cook
Thoughts: Oh good, blonde stereotypes. How original.

46. Unscripted Joss Byrd – Lygia Peñaflor
Unscripted Joss Byrd - Lygia Peñaflor
Thoughts: She enjoys being shot.

47. 100 Days – Nicole McInnes
100 Days - Nicole McInnes
Thoughts: *tries to figure out what truly matters* Based on the formatting of the days, maybe they’re trying to win Wheel of Fortune or something? Or The Price is Right?

48. Five Times Revenge – Lindsay Eland
5 Times Revenge - Lindsay Eland
Thoughts: Expect violince.

49. Eleven and Holding – Mary Penney
Eleven and Holding - Mary Penney
Thoughts: That house is TINY.

Cover Battles:

1. The It Girl (The It Girl #1) – Katy Birchall

The It Girl - Katy Birchall egmont
The It Girl - Katy Birchall

Egmont vs. Simon & Schuster: The Simon cover has IT.

2. In a World Just Right – Jen Brooks

In a World Just Right - Jen Brooks
In a World Just Right - Jen Brooks

US Hardback vs. US Paperback: If they wanted to make sure people wouldn’t miss this on the shelves, this will do it. Of course, they’ll also be blinded for a few seconds but oh well.

3. Survive the Night – Danielle Vega

Survive the Night - Danielle Vega hardback
Survive the Night - Danielle Vega

US Hardback vs. US Paperback: Can we make this cover more basic? Why, yes, we can.

4. Life Is Funny – E. R. Frank

Life Is Funny - E. R. Frank original
Life Is Funny - E. R. Frank

US Original vs. US Redesign: More More Happy Than Not?

5. Calamity (Reckoners #3) – Brandon Sanderson

Calamity (The Reckoners #3) - Brandon Sanderson
Calamity (Reckoners #3) - Brandon Sanderson

US vs. UK: For shame, UK.

6. Air – Ryan Gattis

Air - Ryan Gattis
Air - Ryan Gattis

US Take 1 vs. US Take 2: *shakes fist at helicopter*

7. In the Dark, In the Woods – Eliza Wass

The Cresswell Plot - Eliza Wass
In the Dark, In the Woods - Eliza Wass

US vs. UK: Are they hiding watercress? A well? Cress? ARE THEY IN LEAGUE WITH THE LUNARS?

8. You Look Different in Real Life – Jennifer Castle

You Look Different in Real Life - Jennifer Castle hb
You Look Different in Real Life - Jennifer Castle

US Hardback vs. US Paperback: You look different in paperback.

9. The Inquisition (The Summoner #2) – Taran Matharu

The Inquisition (Summoner #2) - Taran Matharu
The Inquisition (The Summoner #2) - Taran Matharu

US vs. UK/maybe the US was redesigned?: Pink creature or no pink creature? That is the question.

10. Worlds of Ink and Shadow – Lena Coakley

Worlds of Ink and Shadow - Lena Coakley
Worlds of Ink and Shadow - Lena Coakley

US vs. Canada: I’m so torn. I like elements better, but then there’s a the lantern girl emerging from a random flower and I just don’t know.

11. The Color of Darkness (The Book of Storms #2) – Ruth Hatfield

The Colour of Darkness - Ruth Hatfield
The Color of Darkness - Ruth Hatfield

UK vs. US: The UK wins this race by more than a nose.

WTF of the Week:

WTF of the Week began as a special category for one cover I saw, but was so popular it became a recurring feature. Here, I highlight covers, both new and old, that I’ve found, which, upon viewing, made me either snort or say something along the lines of “Dear God, what is that thing?”

1. Evie Jones & the Magic Meltdown – Amie Gibbons
Evie Jones & the Magic Meltdown - Amie Gibbons
Thoughts: It must have been fun searching stock images for a woman in a business suit holding a knife. Then again, maybe she was holding a laser pointer originally.

2. A Totally Awkward Love Story – Tom Ellen & Lucy Ivison
A Totally Awkward Love Story - Tom Ellen & Lucy Ivison
Thoughts: Brings new meaning to the term fingering.

3. Keeper – S. Smith
Keeper - S. Smith
Thoughts: The epic love story of a person and this carrot.

7 responses to “Cover Snark (167): Snark About Town”

  1. Tez Miller says:

    33. Bloodcraft (Bloodspell #2) – Amalie Howard

    Wondered if those were asterisks *** near #1 Amazon Bestselling Author. Then realised they were stars. But kind of thinking they ARE asterisks because…WHICH Amazon category?
    Tez Miller recently posted…5 New Covers (Arthur, Rollins, Showalter, Stiefvater, Vega)My Profile

  2. HollyB says:

    OMG it’s been sooooo long since I visited Cover Snark!!! Why, why, WHY?!?! I just spent like 20 minutes LMAO, snorting, and cringing. Ahh, good times….

    You’re so right about STAR-TOUCHED QUEEN resembling WALK ON EARTH!!! I hadn’t put those two together.

    White people who are really, really white, plus a BEIGE background?! HILARIOUS!!!

    Thanks for the fun 😉
    HollyB recently posted…Happy Release Day: SEA OF MEMORIES by Kelly Risser and THE INNOCENT by Michelle PickettMy Profile

  3. Anya says:

    I think the pink creature has just moved to his shoulder in the new cover release, hehe. It’s a little dragon so I’m good with that 😉
    Anya recently posted…The House of Shattered Wings by Aliette de Bodard Audiobook {3 Stars}My Profile

  4. Katie says:

    With #15, all I could see was ARMS. ALL THE ARMS. HERE’S AN ARM, THERE’S AN ARM, EVERYWHERE AN ARM ARM. O.O

  5. JoJo says:

    *9 Is… is he… is he a baseball?

  6. The covers for the Storm Siren trilogy are just so AMAZINGLY PRETTY. I love the colors and the swirlies and her white hair. I only read the first one (it was okay, not fab, IMO) but these covers are just too pretty not to stare at whenever I see them!

    *incomprehensible sounds over The Raven King, even a month later*

  7. Dear Christina,
    Thanks for posting the cover of my next book, This Is The Part Where You Laugh (Knopf). I’d love to do an interview for your blog if you’re interested. Librarians are my heroes.
    We might have language issues though…You speak German and I speak Spanish.
    Email and let me know,
    PBH

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