Cover Snark (165): My Lady Snark

Welcome to Cover Snark, where the people are snarky and the covers quiver in fear. Since I don’t write many snarky book reviews here on A Reader of Fictions, Cover Snark is my outlet. If you click on the title of the book, where possible, I’ve linked to Goodreads. Clicking on the cover itself will show you the cover in a larger size, in most cases. Feel free to love covers I hate and vice versa. Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

Shiny and New:

1. Even If the Sky Falls – Mia Garcia
Even If the Sky Falls - Mia Garcia
Thoughts: Not loving the silhouettes, but the font’s cool.

2. The Last Cherry Blossom – Kathleen Burkinshaw
The Last Cherry Blossom - Kathleen Burkinshaw
Thoughts: Poor cherry blossom.

3. Spark – Holly Schindler
Spark - Holly Schindler
Thoughts: Ironically, the cover lacks that special spark.

4. The Devil You Know – K.J. Parker
The Devil You Know - K.J. Parker
Thoughts: Man, the devil has a sweet crib.

5. The Loneliness of Distant Beings – Kate Ling
The Loneliness of Distant Beings - Kate Ling
Thoughts: Beauteous birdsplosion.

6. The Only Thing Worse Than Me Is You – Lily Anderson
The Only Thing Worse Than Me Is You - Lily Anderson
Thoughts: Wish the couple was illustrated comic style too, tbh.

7. Before We Go Extinct – Karen Rivers
Before We Go Extinct - Karen Rivers
Thoughts: THE TITLE IS A SHARK FIN!!!!!

8. Ash Remains (Mall Rats #4) – Lily Herne
Ash Remains - Lily Herne
Thoughts: See, that’s an excellent tagline. Everything’s better with decent taglines, and this cover did need that. >.>

9. A Hundred Hours of Night – Anna Woltz
A Hundred Hours of Night - Anna Woltz
Thoughts: Oh man, think of all the sleep you could get! I mean, parties you could go to. Yeah, that.

10. Invisible Fault Lines – Kristen-Paige Madonia
Invisible Fault Lines - Kristen-Paige Madonia
Thoughts: This cover is tagger approved.

11. Draw the Line – Laurent Linn
Draw the Line - Laurent Linn
Thoughts: Why is the divide not quite up the center of this kid?

12. 100 Days of Cake – Shari Goldhagen
100 Days of Cake - Shari Goldhagen
Thoughts: Oh my god, this is even better than all the sleep. Unless all the cakes are floor cakes, because that’s just CRUEL.

13. The Distance to Home – Jenn Bishop
The Distance To Home - Jenn Bishop
Thoughts: “If I take one more step, it will be the farthest away from home I’ve ever been.” “Come on, Sam. Remember what Bilbo used to say: ‘It’s a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don’t keep your feet, there’s no knowing where you might be swept off to.'”

14. Iniquity (The Premonition #5) – Amy A. Bartol
Iniquity (The Premonition Series #1) - Amy A. Bartol
Thoughts: Iniquity is such a great word, but unfortunately a been there done that cover.

15. What Happens Now – Jennifer Castle
What Happens Now - Jennifer Castle
Thoughts: The dolls go to the beach!

16. He Will be My Ruin – K.A. Tucker
He Will be My Ruin - K.A. Tucker
Thoughts: Gotta hand it to him.

17. Everland – Wendy Spinale
Everland - Wendy Spinale
Thoughts: I don’t Tink I like it.

18. Lady Midnight (The Dark Artifices #1) – Cassandra Clare
Lady Midnight (The Dark Artifices #1) - Cassandra Clare
Thoughts: Damn it, I’m going to read this, aren’t I?

19. Seven Ways We Lie – Riley Redgate
Seven Ways We Lie - Riley Redgate
Thoughts: My favorite way to lie is on my bed asleep.

19. Ruined (Untitled #1) – Amy Tintera
Ruined - Amy Tintera
Thoughts: Perfect from A to Zelda.

20. The Outliers (The Outliers #1) – Kimberly McCreight
The Outliers - Kimberly McCreight
Thoughts: Doesn’t really match the title, considering there are quite a lot of covers like this.

21. Lost in Love (City Love #2) – Susane Colasanti
Lost in Love (City Love #2) - Susane Colasanti
Thoughts: The pollution’s gotten really bad in this city.

22. The Blood Between Us – Zac Brewer
The Blood Between Us - Zac Brewer
Thoughts: Looks more like there are shards of glass between you but okay.

23. My Year Zero – Rachel Gold
My Year Zero - Rachel Gold
Thoughts: Yes to girls kissing, even if this isn’t my favorite art in the world.

24. You Were Here – Cori McCarthy
You Were Here - Cori McCarthy
Thoughts: Magical realism?

25. Wanderlost – Jen Malone
Wanderlost - Jen Malone
Thoughts: They’re either shouting “We’re king of the world!” or pretending to be an airplane.

26. The Darkest Lie – Pintip Dunn
The Darkest Lie - Pintip Dunn
Thoughts: Was the lie that her shirt matched her sweater? Because that was pretty cruel.

27. Island of the Sun (The Dark Gravity Sequence #2) – Matthew J. Kirby
Island of the Sun (The Dark Gravity Sequence #1) - Matthew J. Kirby
Thoughts: Hmmm, dark gravity in the island of the sun. I don’t think I’d want to be that high up if there was dark gravity around.

28. The Summer That Melted Everything – Tiffany McDaniel
The Summer That Melted Everything - Tiffany McDaniel
Thoughts: Apparently it melted crayons all over the cover.

29. The Passion of Dolssa – Julie Berry
The Passion of Dolssa - Julie Berry
Thoughts: Is her passion hookah?

30. The Rat Prince – Bridget Hodder
The Rat Prince - Bridget Hodder
Thoughts: I definitely didn’t see Cinderella falling for Gus instead of the prince. Now that’s a twist.

31. The Fall of Butterflies – Andrea Portes
The Fall of Butterflies - Andrea Portes
Thoughts: EW BUGS GET IT AWAY FROM ME

32. The Countdown (The Taking #3) – Kimberly Derting
The Countdown (The Taking #3) - Kimberly Derting
Thoughts: This looks a bit like a placeholder that someone spilled some of their lunch on, minus the title which is cool.

33. The Hunt (The Cage #2) – Megan Shepherd
The Hunt - Megan Shepherd
Thoughts: The greatest game does not make for the greatest cover.

34. Girl Against the Universe – Paula Stokes
Girl Against the Universe - Paula Stokes
Thoughts: I love the orange and the typography, but the girl kinda looks like she overdosed (on math, I bet—I always knew that shit wasn’t healthy) and died on the tennis court.

35. The Season of You and Me – Robin Constantine
The Season of You and Me - Robin Constantine
Thoughts: I bet they still end up with sand everywhere, but at least they’re not rolling around on the beach. Also, I really don’t like that title font/color with this image.

36. Traitor Angels – Anne Blankman
Traitor Angels - Anne Blankman
Thoughts: Snarkiness

37. A Blade of Black Steel – Alex Marshall
A Blade of Black Steel - Alex Marshall
Thoughts: Oooh, I love the blue, and the map and the sword across the A.

38. Frankie – Shivaun Plozza
Frankie - Shivaun Plozza
Thoughts: Brr. It’s cold in here. There must be some Toros in the atmosphere.

39. The Crown’s Game – Evelyn Skye
The Crown's Game - Evelyn Skye
Thoughts: I really love the IDEA of the crown, but I’m not loving the color palette, the Jesus girl, or the title font. Basically womp womp.

40. Never Say Narwhal (Platypus Police Squad #) – Jarrett J. Krosoczka
Never Say Narwhal (Platypus Police Squad #) - Jarrett J. Krosoczka
Thoughts: Whal, I’ve never seen any thing like this.

41. My Lady Jane – Cynthia Hand, Brodi Ashton & Jodi Meadows
My Lady Jane - Cynthia Hand, Brodi Ashton & Jodi Meadows
Thoughts: I mean, the taglines are kinda funny but also I really don’t like this. I think because it feels SO contemporary.

42. The Way Back to You – Michelle Andreani & Mindi Scott
The Way Back to You - Michelle Andreani & Mindi Scott
Thoughts: Talk about mixed signals.

43. Summer in the Invisible City – Juliana Romano
Summer in the Invisible City - Juliana Romano
Thoughts: Hot down, summer in the invisible city, and yet he’s got a long-sleeved leather jacket and she’s wearing flannel. Okaaaay.

44. Born to Endless Night (Tales from the Shadowhunter Academy #9) – Cassandra Clare & Sarah Rees Brennan
Born to Endless Night (Tales from the Shadowhunter Academy #) - Cassandra Clare & Sarah Rees Brennan
Thoughts: Is it just me or have they really stepped up the quality here?

45. Angels Twice Descending (Tales from the Shadowhunter Academy #10) – Cassandra Clare & Robin Wasserman
Angels Twice Descending (Tales from the Shadowhunter Academy #) - Cassandra Clare & Robin Wasserman
Thoughts: Oh wait, maybe the quality isn’t that different.

46. Roses (The Tales Trilogy #1) – Rose Mannering
Roses - Rose Mannering
Thoughts: Definitely looks someone’s arms got into a fight about whether to pick this rose or not.

47. Feathers (The Tales Trilogy #2) – Rose Mannering
Feathers (The Tales Trilogy #2) - Rose Mannering
Thoughts: OKay, are we even trying at this point?

48. Clash of the Worlds (House of Secrets #3) – Chris Columbus & Ned Vizzini, with Chris Rylander
Clash of the Worlds (House of Secrets #3) - Chris Columbus & Ned Vizzini, with Chris Rylander
Thoughts: A flying house? That’s balLOONY.

49. The Ever Never Handbook (The School for Good and Evil) – Soman Chainani
The Ever Never Handbook (The School for Good and Evil) - Soman Chainani
Thoughts: Look at them swanning on in with a companion book.

50. The Lost & Found – Katrina Leno
The Lost & Found - Katrina Leno
Thoughts: While you’re lost, play a nice game of tennis.

51. Ivory and Bone – Julie Eshbaugh
Ivory and Bone - Julie Eshbaugh
Thoughts: Man, I hate when I step on my mint lifesavers.

Cover Battles:

1. Tape – Steven Camden

Untitled-5
Tape - Steven Camden

US Hardback vs. US Paperback: Let’s cassette the record straight: the paperback kicks the hardback’s ass.

2. Wanderer – Roger Davenport

Wanderer - Roger Davenport hb
Wanderer - Roger Davenport

US Hardback vs. US Paperback: Someone’s having a ball-oon, maybe to celebrate a much-improved cover.

3. Truthwitch (The Witchlands #1) – Susan Dennard

Truthwitch - Susan Dennard
Truthwitch - Susan Dennard

US vs. UK: I think I’ll keep my US cover, thanks.

4. Read Me Like a Book – Liz Kessler

Read Me Like a Book - Liz Kessler Indigo
Read Me Like a Book - Liz Kessler

UK vs. US: That expression doesn’t really make it seem like it’ll be a fun book. The paint and naked torso, however…

5. The Lost Sun (The Gods of New Asgard #1) – Tessa Gratton

The Lost Sun (The Gods of Asgard #1) - Tessa Gratton hb
The Lost Sun (The Gods of Asgard #1) - Tessa Gratton pb
The Lost Sun (The Gods of Asgard #1) - Tessa Gratton

US Hardback vs. US Paperback vs. US Rebranded Paperback: Giant floating head covers will never be my favorites, but this has gone from wtf levels of bad to totally presentable. Nice work.

6. The Strange Maid (Gods of New Asgard #2) – Tessa Gratton

The Strange Maid (Gods of Asgard #2) - Tessa Gratton hb
The Strange Maid (Gods of Asgard #2) - Tessa Gratton

US Hardback vs. US Paperback: She looks like a Grounder!

7. The Vanishing Throne (The Falconer #2) – Elizabeth May

The Vanishing Throne - Elizabeth May
The Vanishing Throne (The Falconer #2) - Elizabeth May

UK vs. US: The font’s definitely letting the loveliness of this cover down. That said, both covers have gorgeous art so how to choose?

8. Saint’s Blood (Greatcoats #3) – Sebastien de Castell

Saint's Blood (Greatcoats #3) - Sebastien de Castell German
Saint's Blood (Greatcoats #3) - Sebastien de Castell

German vs. UK: Her dress is doing some fucking amazing modelling right now. Step aside, archer.

9. Into the Dim – Janet B. Taylor

Into the Dim - Janet B. Taylor
Into the Dim - Janet B. Taylor
Into the Dim - Janet B. Taylor

US Take 1 vs. US Take 2 vs. US Take 3: They are really struggling with this book. I think I actually like this less.

WTF of the Week:

WTF of the Week began as a special category for one cover I saw, but was so popular it became a recurring feature. Here, I highlight covers, both new and old, that I’ve found, which, upon viewing, made me either snort or say something along the lines of “Dear God, what is that thing?”

1. Winter’s Kiss (Amethyst Chronicles #1) – KG Stutts
Winter's Kiss (Amethyst Chronicles) - KG Stutts
Thoughts: Oh man, it’s so hard to choose the best part. The girl staring at a moon just plopped on to the cover in front of her? The bar across the middle of the cover with the series name? The floating head? The spotlights zinging across the orange background? There’s too much to love here.

2. Life-o-suction (Spaded Truths #2) – Queen of Spades
Life-o-suction (Spaded Truths #2) - Queen of Spades
Thoughts: I’m calling it. Time of death is now.

3. Freed by Him (Fighting Free #1) – GL Chapple
Freed by Him (Fighting Free) - GL Chapple
Thoughts: The pale color palette is majorly off-putting, and the images are not helping. This uncomfortable close up of people holding fingers with a guy, possibly in chains, behind them. WHY.

3 responses to “Cover Snark (165): My Lady Snark”

  1. lissa says:

    not much to like about these covers either the art needs work or the fonts/type needs work but cover #18 looks pretty good.

    hope you have a lovely day.
    lissa recently posted…Mini Thoughts on Films Watched: Mostly Bette DavisMy Profile

  2. Lesley says:

    I really don’t like either of the Truthwitch covers. I wish they’d stuck with the UK arc (I think that’s what it was, it was black with blue metallic-looking symbols on it.) Now THAT I would have to own. These covers put me off the book.
    Lesley recently posted…Since We Last SpokeMy Profile

  3. 1. Lovely colors!
    6. I don’t think this is super compelling but it’s pitched as Stephanie Perkins meets 10 Things I Hate About You so I need it.
    10. I’m not sure why but I like this!
    11. All I can see is his massive left thigh and butt cheek. It’s distracting.
    19. I think this will be super pretty in person. I like the intricacy of the background. Otherwise it’s a little meh.
    21. Cute guy, cute bun.
    27. Ooh I love the scenery! Ancient ruins!
    36. I love the idea and hope the texture is cool in person.
    39. Same. It looks a little like an adult political thriller cover, like Steve Berry gets.
    41. I’m surprised but I actually like this a lot! I think it works for me because she looks clearly 16th century so I like the juxtaposition of that with the taglines and font.
    51. So underwhelmed I can’t even.
    3. US for sure.
    7. I love the US cover (such vibrant colors) even though I like this UK cover model! But I didn’t like The Falconer UK cover much.
    9. I don’t like this second redesign at all. So ordinary. The Diana Gabaldon blurb is nice though.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CommentLuv badge