Cover Snark (164): Three Truths and a Snark

Welcome to Cover Snark, where the people are snarky and the covers quiver in fear. Since I don’t write many snarky book reviews here on A Reader of Fictions, Cover Snark is my outlet. If you click on the title of the book, where possible, I’ve linked to Goodreads. Clicking on the cover itself will show you the cover in a larger size, in most cases. Feel free to love covers I hate and vice versa. Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

Shiny and New:

1. The Mechanical Mind of John Coggin – Elinor Teele
The Mechanical Mind of John Coggin - Elinor Teele
Thoughts: You can totally tell which one is John because his friend is like “ARE YOU GOING TO KILL ME?” and his mom is like “NOT AGAIN, YOU RASCAL.”

2. Lucky Few – Kathryn Ormsbee
Lucky Few - Kathryn Ormsbee
Thoughts: SUCH TRUTH.

3. Love Blind – C. Desir & Jolene Perry
Love Blind - C. Desir & Jolene Perry
Thoughts: Just sitting here wondering what happened to the arms of the glasses.

4. The Trick to Landing – Jenny Kaczorowski
The Trick to Landing - Jenny Kaczorowski
Thoughts: Wait for sunset. Even if you fall, the sky will look pretty while you do.

5. Flying – Carrie Jones
Flying - Carrie Jones
Thoughts: Ahahaha, looks like the cousin of Mothership.

6. The Epidemic (The Program #0.6) – Suzanne Young
The Epidemic (The Program #4) - Suzanne Young
Thoughts: Yup, she still wants to kill me.

7. Now and Again – Jennifer Ellision
Now and Again - Jennifer Ellision
Thoughts: Once more across the bridge, my friends.

8. Three Truths and a Lie – Brent Hartinger
Three Truths and a Lie - Brent Hartinger
Thoughts: 1. This cover is boring. 2. I love this cover. 3. Rain is soothing. 4. That font cannot carry a cover.

9. Nil on Fire (Nil #3) – Lynne Matson
Nil on Fire (Nil #) - Lynne Matson
Thoughts: There goes the neighborhood.

10. Cherry – Lindsey Rosin
Cherry - Lindsey Rosin
Thoughts: *curls lip*

11. The Custodian of Marvels (Fall of the Gas-Lit Empire #3) – Rod Duncan
The Custodian of Marvels - Rod Duncan
Thoughts: Skull and cross keys.

12. The Blood Scion (Scion Legacy #1) – Nazarea Andrews
The Blood Scion (Scion Legacy #1-3) - Nazarea Andrews
Thoughts: “Caw, I thought moving the nest was a good idea, but I should have just started over.”

13. Alight (Generations Trilogy #2) – Scott Sigler
Alight (Generations Trilogy #2) - Scott Sigler
Thoughts: OW MY EYES.

14. Abby and the Cute One (Backstage Pass #5) – Erin Butler
Abby and the Cute One (Backstage Pass) - Erin Butler
Thoughts: His grin just says “I’m totally fucking up your life,” doesn’t it?

15. Break Me Like a Promise (Once Upon a Crime Family #2) – Tiffany Schmidt
Break Me Like a Promise - Tiffany Schmidt
Thoughts: So break me, shake me, hate me, take me over. When the madness stops then you will be alone

16. Rocks Fall, Everyone Dies – Lindsay Ribar
Rocks Fall, Everyone Dies - Lindsay Ribar
Thoughts: Lindsay sets the riBAR for title game.

17. Tremontaine – Ellen Kushner, Alaya Dawn Johnson, Malinda Lo, Joel Derfner, Racheline Maltese, & Patty Bryant
Tremontaine - Ellen Kushner, Alaya Dawn Johnson, Malinda Lo, Joel Derfner, Racheline Maltese, & Patty Bryant
Thoughts: Obviously my favorite bit is the kitty, but it’s all pretty fabulous. It’s also clearly going to have a great texture. 🙂

18. Poet Anderson …Of Nightmares – Tom DeLonge & Suzanne Young
Of Nightmares - Tom DeLonge & Suzanne Young
Thoughts: Too bad the actual cover reads, Of Night Mares, aka female horses in the night hours.

19. Down Station – Simon Morden
Down Station - Simon Morden
Thoughts: Is that person walking across a sea of birds like aviation jesus?

20. The Last Star (The 5th Wave #3) – Rick Yancey
The Last Star (The 5th Wave #3) - Rick Yancey
Thoughts: Everything the light touches is our kingdom.

21. Your B&B or Mine? – Melissa West
Your B&B or Mine - Melissa West
Thoughts: Clearly that depends on which has the best breakfast and the least chatty people.

22. The Marked Girl (The Marked Girl #1) – Lindsey Klingele
The Marked Girl - Lindsey Klingele
Thoughts: Huh? Where do I know this exact title font from? It is bothering me. Kudos to whoever can save me. d.gr-assets.com/…

23. Frannie and Tru – Karen Hattrup
Frannie and Tru - Karen Hattrup
Thoughts: This cover looks like it should go on a sad memoir.

24. Beautiful Broken Things – Sara Barnard
Beautiful Broken Things - Sara Barnard
Thoughts: Shiny and turquoise yes yes.

25. This Is Not a Werewolf Story – Sandra Evans
This Is Not a Werewolf Story - Sandra Evans
Thoughts: Werewolf? There wolf.

26. Some Kind of Happiness – Claire Legrand
Some Kind of Happiness - Claire Legrand
Thoughts: The grass is always greener here, so they’ve got to be kinda happy, right?

27. As Brave as You – Jason Reynolds
As Brave as You - Jason Reynolds
Thoughts: Kinda looks like the ground is water or something, but who cares when there’s such adorable art to be seen?

28. Stormwalker – Mike Revell
Stormwalker - Mike Revell
Thoughts: Cloudy with a chance of giant black hands.

29. The First Last Day – Dorian Cirrone
The First Last Day - Dorian Cirrone
Thoughts: It appiers we have a little Van Gogh on our hands here.

30. Soar – Tracy Edward Wymer
Soar - Tracy Edward Wymer
Thoughts: I wonder if you can even pedal that bike, given how close to the floor the pedal is.

31. Nine, Ten: A September 11 Story – Nora Raleigh Baskin
Nine, Ten A September 11 Story - Nora Raleigh Baskin
Thoughts: I don’t think I get what this cover is going for tbh.

32. The Best Worst Thing – Kathleen Lane
The Best Worst Thing - Kathleen Lane
Thoughts: Warning: cover may trigger acrophobia.

33. Autofocus – Lauren Gibaldi
Autofocus - Lauren Gibaldi
Thoughts: What kind of future camera is she using that her hair can come out of the picture? Even in HP this doesn’t happen.

34. Towers Falling – Jewell Parker Rhodes
Towers Falling - Jewell Parker Rhodes
Thoughts: Interesting that two books on 9/11 showed up in the same Cover Snark.

35. Burn Baby Burn – Meg Medina
Burn Baby Burn - Meg Medina
Thoughts: Disco fever.

36. Life and Death: Twilight Reimagined – Stephenie Meyer
Life and Death Twilight Reimagined - Stephenie Meyer
Thoughts: Twiharder.

37. The Wild Robot – Peter Brown
The Wild Robot - Peter Brown
Thoughts: If a robot goes wild in a forest and no one’s around to hear it, does it make a sound?

38. Whatever – Suzanne Cudd Goslee
Whatever - Suzanne Cudd Goslee
Thoughts: Points for being as close as I’ve ever seen a YA cover come to swearing.

39. How to Keep Rolling After a Fall – Karole Cozzo
How to Keep Rolling After a Fall - Karole Cozzo
Thoughts: Chairy on.

40. The Gilded Cage – Lucinda Gray
The Gilded Cage - Lucinda Gray
Thoughts: Not the most subtle or original ever, but I’m a big fan of the title treatment.

41. Holding Court – K.C. Held
Holding Court - K.C. Held
Thoughts: If it’s summer, why is she wearing boots and a long-sleeved shirt? It’s not like she’s dressed for the AC in Tudor Times, because she would not be wearing that.

42. Atlantis Quest (Atlantis Rising #2) – Gloria Craw
Atlantis Quest (Atlantis Rising #2) - Gloria Craw
Thoughts: GIVE MY CREATURE LIIIIIIIIFE.

43. Magnetic Shift – Lucy D. Briand
Magnetic Shift - Lucy D. Briand
Thoughts: I feel like something more dramatic than a girl with her eyes closed could have gone with MAGNETIC SHIFT.

44. Klickitat – Peter Rock
Klickitat - Peter Rock
Thoughts: It’s her dirty foot.

45. Life Before – Michele Bacon
Life Before - Michele Bacon
Thoughts: I’d chuck it.

46. Trapped (Shipwreck Island #3) – S. A. Bodeen
Trapped (Shipwreck Island #3) - S. A. Bodeen
Thoughts: This island has RHINOS???

Cover Battles:

1. Althea & Oliver – Cristina Moracho

Althea and Oliver - Cristina Moracho
Althea & Oliver - Cristina Moracho

US Hardback vs. US Paperback: I dunno about either of these. I guess the eye theme is more consistent than the pony tail and the pillow?

2. Razorhurst – Justine Larbalestier

Razorhurst - Justine Larbalestier
Razorhurst - Justine Larbalestier

US vs. Australian: Apparently this book takes place in the 1930s? That’s so not what I get from the papebrack.

3. Simon Thorn and the Wolf’s Den (Simon Thorn #1) – Aimee Carter

Simon Thorn and the Wolf's Den - Aimee Carter
Simon Thorn and the Wolf's Den - Aimee Carter

Take 1 vs. Take 2: A vast improvement. I wonder if the orange shirt is an omage to Percy Jackson?

4. Wandering Wild – Jessica Taylor

Wandering Wild - Jessica Taylor take 1
Wandering Wild - Jessica Taylor take 2
Wandering Wild - Jessica Taylor take 3

Take 1 vs. Take 2 vs. Take 3: I’ve already seen three covers for this and it comes out forever from now. But hey that’s some pretty font and a fancy skirt. Good enough.

5. Hex – Thomas Olde Heuvelt

Hex - Thomas Olde Heuvelt Dutch
Hex - Thomas Olde Heuvelt US
Hex - Thomas Olde Heuvelt

Dutch vs. US vs. UK: Duuuude, that title font though; UK’s got this. OH GOD JUST NOTICED THE FACE.

6. The Unnaturalists (The Unnaturalists #1) – Tiffany Trent

The Unnaturalists - Tiffany Trent paperback
The Unnaturalists - Tiffany Trent

US Hardback vs. US Mass Market: That font and that Tamora Pierce blurb.

7. The Tinker King (The Unnaturalists #2) – Tiffany Trent

The Tinker King - Tiffany Trent hardback
The Tinker King - Tiffany Trent

US Hardback vs. US Mass Market: I want to love the version with the Asian model, but it’s sort of an awkward shot. Still torn.

8. Teen Frankenstein (High School Horror #1) – Chandler Baker

Teen Frankenstein (High School Horror) - Chandler Baker
Teen Frankenstein - Chandler Baker

Take 1 vs. Take 2: WAY better, even though I’m still not a huge fanenstein.

9. Remix – Non Pratt

Remix - Non Pratt
Remix - Non Pratt

UK vs. US: I do like this okay, but I think the vibrantly-colored cover has a bit more life and oomph to it.

10. The Incredible Adventures of Cinnamon Girl – Melissa Keil

The Incredible Adventures of Cinnamon Girl - Melissa Keil, Mike Lawrence Australia
The Incredible Adventures of Cinnamon Girl - Melissa Keil, Mike Lawrence german
The Incredible Adventures of Cinnamon Girl - Melissa Keil, Mike Lawrence

Australian vs. German vs. US: Love her blue stripe, fierce expression, and sneer. This one might be my favorite, but this title seems to have good cover luck.

11. The Art of Not Breathing – Sarah Alexander

The Art of Not Breathing - Sarah Alexander
The Art of Not Breathing - Sarah Alexander

US Take 1 vs. US Take 2: I like the ombre on the text better, and jumping is a bit more unique than the girl underwater thing.

12. Lottery Boy – Michael Byrne

Lottery Boy - Michael Byrne UK
Lottery Boy - Michael Byrne

UK vs. US: The UK won the lottery.

13. Character, Driven – David Lubar

Character, Driven - David Lubar
Character, Driven - David Lubar

US Take 1 vs. US Take 2: Cover, redesigned.

WTF of the Week:

WTF of the Week began as a special category for one cover I saw, but was so popular it became a recurring feature. Here, I highlight covers, both new and old, that I’ve found, which, upon viewing, made me either snort or say something along the lines of “Dear God, what is that thing?”

This week, please enjoy the motorcycle theme.

1. What’s in a Name? (Foothills Pride #1) – Pat Henshaw
What's in a Name - Pat Henshaw
Thoughts: Hop on your hog, head on over to the local saloon, and share a nice cup of coffee with a burly stranger.

2. Wicked Ride (Realm Enforcers #1) – Rebecca Zanetti
Wicked Ride - Rebecca Zanetti
Thoughts: Men tend not to like it if you twist their throttle.

3. Fish Stick Fridays (Half Moon Bay #1) – Rhys Ford
Fish Stick Fridays - Rhys Ford
Thoughts: Here’s one for all the Catholics out there.

3 responses to “Cover Snark (164): Three Truths and a Snark”

  1. Natasa says:

    Christina, you really should check out http://lousybookcovers.tumblr.com

  2. Anya says:

    That is clearly an overweight unicorn that needs skin cream!
    Anya recently posted…An Apprentice to Elves Giveaway!My Profile

  3. Katie says:

    The font from The Marked Girl was also used on The Orphan Queen (by Jodi Meadows)… I think.

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