Cover Snark (158): The Way to Game the Snark of Shame

CoverSnarkChristina2

Welcome to Cover Snark, where the people are snarky and the covers quiver in fear. Since I don’t write many snarky book reviews here on A Reader of Fictions, Cover Snark is my outlet. If you click on the title of the book, where possible, I’ve linked to Goodreads. Clicking on the cover itself will show you the cover in a larger size, in most cases. Feel free to love covers I hate and vice versa. Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

Shiny and New:

1. Wink Poppy Midnight – April Genevieve Tucholke
Wink Poppy Midnight - April Genevieve Tucholke
Thoughts: Gah, that’s gorgeous. I can’t handle it.

2. The Radiant Road – Katherine Catmull
The Radiant Road - Katherine Catmull
Thoughts: On the one hand, the art is lovely; one the other hand, it scares me.

3. Circle of Jinn – Lori Goldstein
Circle of Jinn - Lori Goldstein
Thoughts: Semi-circle of rings.

4. White Trash Zombie Gone Wild (White Trash Zombie #5) – Diana Rowland
White Trash Zombie Gone Wild (White Trash Zombie #5) - Diana Rowland
Thoughts: Ain’t no party like a beheaded boys party.

5. Will to Survive (The Rule of Three #3) – Eric Walters
Will to Survive (The Rule of Three #3) - Eric Walters
Thoughts: W3 PROMIS3 3XPLOSIONS!

6. The Rule of Mirrors (The Vault of Dreamers #2) – Caragh M. O’Brien
The Rule of Mirrors (The Vault of Dreamers, #2) - Caragh M. O'Brien
Thoughts: How do you like my new color contacts?

7. On the Edge of Gone – Corinne Duyvis
On the Edge of Gone - Corinne Duyvis
Thoughts: I told you that we were leaving promptly at midnight. This will teach you not to be on time.

8. Zombie Apocalypse Preparation: How to Survive in an Undead World and Have Fun Doing It! – David Houchins & Scot Thomas
Zombie Apocalypse Preparation How to Survive in an Undead World and Have Fun Doing It! - David Houchins & Scot Thomas
Thoughts: I’d sort of expect him to have turned one of those skulls into a sweet chalice, but otherwise totes on point.

9. Nettle King (Night and Nothing #3) – Katherine Harbour
Nettle King (Night and Nothing Novels) - Katherine Harbour
Thoughts: Vaguely ominous background colored purple for royalty.

10. The Everything Box – Richard Kadrey
The Everything Box - Richard Kadrey
Thoughts: Starting the apocalypse is about as easy as taking over the world is for Pinky and the Brain. Instead, I’m going to go to the container store to get this sweet box.

11. Identity Crisis – Melissa Schorr
Identity Crisis - Melissa Schorr
Thoughts: Will the real slim speech bubble please stand up?

12. Kill the Boy Band – Goldy Moldavsky
Kill the Boy Band - Goldy Moldavsky
Thoughts: Could have sworn the ARC cover was a placeholder. I mean, this? Like, really?

13. Hearts, Fingers, and Other Things to Cross (Broken Hearts & Revenge #3) – Katie Finn
Hearts, Fingers, and Other Things to Cross (Broken Hearts & Revenge #3) - Katie Finn
Thoughts: Bitch broke her sunglasses. Rude.

14. The Best Horror of the Year, Volume Eight – Ellen Datlow, ed
The Best Horror of the Year, Volume Eight - Ellen Datlow
Thoughts: This was bad enough before I noticed it was floating. *shudders*

15. The Way to Game the Walk of Shame – Jenn P. Nguyen
The Way to Game the Walk of Shame - Jenn P. Nguyen
Thoughts: WALK OF PRIDE IN A FAB OUTFIT. HOLLA.

16. The Words We Thought Were True – Jessica L. Brooks
The Words We Thought Were True - Jessica L. Brooks
Thoughts: Is it intentional that everything looks super fake? Were those words untrue? Grass, pathway, tree, skyscraper, crows. ALL UNTRUE.

17. The Space Between Heartbeats – Melissa Pearl
The Space Between Heartbeats - Melissa Pearl
Thoughts: So is she like a nymph Zeus went for and Hera’s just changed her into a tree and she’s like halfway through the transition?

18. Devil and the Bluebird – Jennifer Mason-Black
Devil and the Bluebird - Jennifer Mason-Black
Thoughts: Bluebird or blueperson?

19. The Divided – Amy A. Bartol
The Divided - Amy A. Bartol
Thoughts: WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE? I just see a random eye and omg I’m terrified.

20. Secret Coders – Gene Luen Yang & Mike Holmes
Secret Coders - Gene Luen Yang & Mike Holmes
Thoughts: The tagline has a pun. That gets a Cover Snark seal of approval. I C what they did there.

21. To the Stars (Thatch #2) – Molly McAdams
To the Stars - Molly McAdams
Thoughts: Why is the top part so blurry?

22. Untaken – J.E. Anckorn
Untaken - J.E. Anckorn
Thoughts: Like being in an apocalypse isn’t bad enough without having to babysit.

23. Inheritance (The Cemetery Girl Trilogy #2) – Charlaine Harris & Christopher Golden
Inheritance (Cemetery Girl #2) - Charlaine Harris & Christopher Golden
Thoughts: Doesn’t look like the most comfortable place to hang out but to each her own.

24. Picture Imperfect – Jelsa Mepsey
Picture Imperfect - Jelsa Mepsey
Thoughts: They’re kinda matchy matchy. One of THOSE couples.

25. America’s First Daughter – Stephanie Dray & Laura Kamoie
America's First Daughter - Stephanie Dray & Laura Kamoie
Thoughts: America’s first daughter large enough to squash Monticello beneath her heels.

26. Villainous – Kristen Brand
Villainous - Kristen Brand
Thoughts: Well, that mask wouldn’t hide an identity anywhere but the comic book world.

27. The Wrong Side of Magic – Janette Rallison
The Wrong Side of Magic - Janette Rallison
Thoughts: Idk this looks like the right side of magic.

28. The Redwood Rebel – Lorna George
The Redwood Rebel - Lorna George
Thoughts: Always here for girl warriors and dragons.

29. True Confessions of a Male Stripper – Jake Butler
True Confessions of a Male Stripper - Jake Butler
Thoughts: How cute. The I took it’s tie off.

30. Traveler (Seeker #2) – Arwen Elys Dayton
Traveler (Seeker #2) - Arwen Elys Dayton
Thoughts: So now instead of the fishes that are so delicious, we’ve got a…wolf head wearing swords?

31. Rebel, Bully, Geek, Pariah – Erin Jade Lange
Rebel, Bully, Geek, Pariah - Erin Jade Lange
Thoughts: One guess which I was.

32. Lost and Found (Witherwood Reform School #2) – Obert Skye
Lost and Found (Witherwood Reform School) - Obert Skye
Thoughts: These children’s faces scare me, but they look delicious to that creature.

33. People Who Knew Me – Kim Hooper
People Who Knew Me - Kim Hooper
Thoughts: I was really expecting her shadow to have a sword or something.

34. The Underdogs – Sara Hammel
The Underdogs - Sara Hammel
Thoughts: Girl: where the fuck did my tennis ball go.
Creepy dude: MWAHAHA SHE WILL NEVER FIND IT NOW.

35. The Fallen Prince (The Almost Girl, #2) – Amalie Howard
The Fallen Prince - Amalie Howard
Thoughts: He said he’d be bahck.

36. The Incident on the Bridge – Laura McNeal
The Incident on the Bridge - Laura McNeal
Thoughts: She saw everything from her boat. Dun dun dunnnnnnn.

37. Wax – Gina Damico
Wax - Gina Damico
Thoughts: Another tagline pun! Those other weeks can’t hold a candle to this week.

Cover Battles:

1. Wolf by Wolf (Wolf by Wolf #1) – Ryan Graudin

Wolf by Wolf - Ryan Graudin
Wolf by Wolf - Ryan Graudin

US vs. UK: Hmmmm, I think I prefer the simplicity of the UK cover, but they’re both winners.

2. Da Vinci’s Tiger – L. M. Elliott

Da Vinci's Tiger - Laura Malone Elliott
Da Vinci's Tiger - L. M. Elliott

US Take 1 vs. US Take 2: I think I would like this just fine if it had been the first, but Take 1 is an all-time cover fav, so I’m just crying.

3. There Will Be Lies – Nick Lake

There Will Be Lies - Nick Lake
There Will Be Lies - Nick Lake us pb
There Will Be Lies - Nick Lake uk pb
US.UK Hardback vs. US Paperback vs. UK Paperback: I was never in love with the hardback cover of this. The UK paperback looks a bit messy to me. The US paperback has an adorable wolf howling at the moon, so winner.

4. The Dark Days Club (lady Helen #1) – Alison Goodman

Lady Helen and the Dark Days Club - Alison Goodman
The Dark Days Club - Alison Goodman

Australian vs. US: So my options are one where Lady Helen looks kind of like a zombie with a love of hot pink or one where she walks a fabric-covered forest. Great.

5. My True Love Gave to Me – Stephanie Perkins, ed

My True Love Gave to Me - Stephanie Perkins
My True Love Gave to Me - Stephanie Perkins, ed

US Hardback vs. US Paperback: Hardback ALL the way. Adorable illustrations of characters from the story or some generic ornaments? I mean, really, there’s no choice to be made here.

6. The Glittering World – Robert Levy

The Glittering World - Robert Levy hardback
The Glittering World - Robert Levy

US Hardback vs. US Paperback: Holy shit this shiny font. SHINY.

7. Starborn (The Flaxfield Quartet #4) – Toby Forward

Starborn - Toby Forward
Starborn (Dragonborn) - Toby Forward

UK vs. US: Yeah, sorry, UK. The US has got this one.

WTF of the Week:

WTF of the Week began as a special category for one cover I saw, but was so popular it became a recurring feature. Here, I highlight covers, both new and old, that I’ve found, which, upon viewing, made me either snort or say something along the lines of “Dear God, what is that thing?” If you would like to be part of the fun and have spotted a truly hilarious or horrifying cover, submit it and your snark to readeroffictions@gmail.com and you might be included, though I will filter through submissions and limit the number of entries per week.

1. A Highland Ruby (Highland Treasures #2) – Brenda B. Taylor
A Highland Ruby (Highland Treasures #2) - Brenda B. Taylor
Thoughts: That’s a mighty pretty shirt for a member of the brute squad.

2. Dangerous Reflections – Karla Tipton
Dangerous Reflections - Karla Tipton
Thoughts: IN THE MIRROR, HE’S A BLONDE AND SHE’S A DEMON THING. AHAHAHAHA.

3. Dark Magic (Dragonsong #2) – H.C. Brown
Dark Magic - H.C. Brown
Thoughts: The dark magic is definitely to get him a bj isn’t it.

5 responses to “Cover Snark (158): The Way to Game the Snark of Shame”

  1. lissa says:

    I don’t care much for any of these covers except maybe 28 – girl & dragon – always a nice combination.

    have a lovely day.
    lissa recently posted…August 20My Profile

  2. Angelica says:

    I can’t the last cover though mwahahahaha 😀

  3. Carrie C. says:

    Great roundup! I so enjoyed it, especially the cover battles!

  4. Susan C says:

    #19 definitely shows some kinda cat trapped in a lava lamp.

    Cover battle #2’s first take reads to me like somebody named Tig is in the ER, so. . . .

    WTF #1: I truly thought the lady had a tail, truly.

    Thanks for today’s chuckle.

  5. Lyn Kaye says:

    1. Great way to start this off!

    2. I am…..conflicted.

    3. One ring to rule them all?

    12. Um, lazy much?

    14. OH HELL NO.

    22. Approved!

    28. Be still, my heart! We need more of this style, please!
    Lyn Kaye recently posted…Blog Tour: The 3rd WomanMy Profile

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